Anyone been a victim of road rage?

[Linda_Marie]

It was a long time ago, in the 70’s. It was late evening. I was a passenger in the back seat with my fiancé and our German Shepherd/Husky cross dog, and two (rather large) guys were in the front. Someone pulled a stunt on us on the freeway and the driver of the car I was in and the other driver carried on exchanging rude gestures for a couple miles until our exit. We got off at our exit and they followed us. The other car pulled up a ways and 4 guys got out and started walking over to us. One was wrapping a length of chain around his hand. I was absolutely terrified. The three guys and the dog got out of our car. This dog was not attack trained but seemed to know that this was trouble and he was in ‘attack mode’, growling and snarling quite fiercely. The four guys took one look at the dog and quickly got back in their car and drove off.

My dad told a story about a road-rage incident he and my mother endured. It must have been in 1948/49. They were driving along on a two lane, two way country road when they got behind someone who was going quite slow, so my Dad pulled out to pass him. The guy sped up and wouldn’t let him get past. So my dad slowed down, the other driver did the same, and wouldn’t let him get back on his side of the road. Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down, this guy just wouldn’t give up. Then there was an oncoming truck. The guy still wouldn’t let him get back on his side of the road, so my dad had to drive off the road on the other side to avoid a collision.

The only other ‘road rage’ incident I’ve been involved in was in a supermarket. It was a Saturday, which, here, is an extremely busy day for grocery shopping. Everybody and his wife and his kids show up to one or the other of the two supermarkets in town to do their weekly shop on a Saturday morning. (to give you an idea of how busy it is - the large parking lot is completely full, all 24 check-outs are open and there is a line 5-6 carts deep at all of them - all morning long) I will admit, it is stressful. The din of the children whining and crying and screaming is enough to frazzle anyones’ nerves. My husband calls it the ‘Wah-Wah Brigade’. Anyway, I met someone I knew and hadn’t seen for a while so I pulled my cart over to the side of the aisle as far as I could so we could talk and catch up a bit and my friend did the same. It was not enough however, for one lady who felt we were blocking the aisle. (we weren’t blocking the whole aisle, just part of it - other people were blocking the rest) She let loose with the expletives in a loud voice at the 2 of us as if it was all our fault alone that the aisle was blocked, not caring that there were umpteen number of kids within earshot. I now avoid doing any grocery shopping on a Saturday AM.

This rage used to be confined to the road, but it is worse than ever on the road and now is spilling over other areas of our lives.

 

[housewife]

A defensive driving course really helps. I recently got stopped for failing to make a complete stop at a stop sign. I had lately began to become so outraged at how some people drive out there without realizing that I was reacting the same as them. Now that I took the defensive driving course, it has really helped me control my anger for those crazy drivers out there. I am now courteous and let others first. If someone cuts me off, this happens whenever I leave a reasonable gap between me and the car in front (some people think that its for them to move in there…LOL!) I simply act courteous once again and I sow down to let them in slowly. If someone honks or seems to be bothered by how I am following the speed limits etc… I never look at them and raise the volume of my radio so that I can’t hear anything either, if in case they are saying anything.

Getting upset makes things worst.

I really suggest a defensive driving course because that is all it is …just learn how to be defensive and not offensive.

 

[udoc89]

Ok enough with !!! marks. I was in the left lane because I had just pulled out of a shopping plaza -it’s just a couple blocks from my house. I didn’t slow way down. When I sped up to get over the guy gunned it. When I took my foot of the gas to get behind him he slowed down. The primary problem was not my driving -even if I’m the crappiest driver in the world (which I’m not) this guy does not have the right to bang his fist on my window and call me nasty names. Anyway, I wasn’t undecisive and I wasn’t toddling. This idiot was intentionally trying to prevent me from getting over, for whatever reason, I don’t know -I saw him pull out of a industrial park right before I pulled out of the shopping plaza maybe he had a bad day at work . I know how to drive Jay.

You did the best you could in a bad situation. I’ve got a quick temper, but I’ve decided my life is worth more to me (and my family) than scoring a “one up” on some idiot who is determined to have the last word–and in the process winds up endangering other drivers. I believe AAA (American Automobile Association, that is) advises drivers to avoid making eye contact with nut-cases like the one you described. You didn’t make eye contact with him, which was wise of you.

When I was much younger and someone honked at me or made a rude gesture, I used to laugh, make silly faces at them, and wave out the window broadly–this was guaranteed to infuriate an already angry driver, which was my intent. I figured I was getting even without resorting to vulgarity. Fortunately, I’ve grown up since then. Now, I pretty much ignore honks and fingers and just mutter under my breath–it’s safer.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**Yup, I was driving and made a right turn on a yellow light. The guy who just got a green gunned it and came up really fast behind us and almost hit us (hubby was with me). It scared me and made me mad so, without thinking, I flipped him off. Stupid, I know.

he got right on my tail and proceeded to follow us. At the next stop sign he pulled really fast around me and slammed on his brakes and jumped out of the car. Around here we have some problems with Asian gangs and this guy looked Vietnamese. I was so scared that he had a gun. (he didn’t). But he ran over to my window and started yelling and cursing and gesturing for me to open it. HA! Like I was stupid enough for that.

I backed up and tired to drive off but he wouldn’t get out of the way. So I slowly started to go, which made him even madder. Not like I was going to stay there so at that point I took my chances of hitting him to get away.

As I drive off he jumps back in his car and starts chasing us. Hubby gets on the cell with 911 but we didn’t have a plate number. They just told us to drive to the nearest cop station. But I didn’t want to stop anywhere so I ended up just going wherever the lights were green. Finally he dropped back when he saw we were headed into the army base. We then went to the station and filed a report but without a plate it didn’t do much good.

I spent the next couple of months fearing that our house would get a drive by or something because he had a long time behind us to get our plate… but we’re still here so thank God!!!
Yeah, road rage sucks!

Malia**

 

[LSK]

I grew up with a father who regularly followed people who angered him while driving, got into fistfights at the side of the road, ran people off the road…all done with his children and wife in the car with all of us screaming and begging him to stop. He would always turn it around that he was trying to protect his family from these dangerous drivers.

Shortly before my father died, I received a telephone call in the middle of the night. He had gotten into a road rage confrontation with someone who pulled a knife on him, stabbed him and left him bleeding in the middle of the road.

I had to go pick up my father in the middle of the night, from the hospital. The police had found the guy - a young Hispanic male who had been in a running freeway battle with my father while he had HIS wife and kids in the car.

My father died before the sentencing of this young man. My father died 10 days after going to confession and receiving The Eucharist - the first time in 40 years. I got to go to the sentencing hearing a read a witness impact statement.

I knew the young man had been raised Catholic when I saw his family there for the sentencing. I also saw that he was being ‘supported’ by many tough looking men, all glaring at me.

My statement - which is too long to reproduce here - told the young man that I was a product of the kind of horror he had put his own children through that night. I reminded him that he had stabbed a 79 year old man - but worse, he had convinced himself that he should do this to protect his family. That is ****, I told him, pure and simple. I told him that because I am a Catholic I am required by my Church to forgive him if I want to go to heaven someday - but I also told him that if he wants to continue to delude himself into believing he is a good father then he better be prepared to see his now 6 year old daughter standing where I am standing one day - because that is what he is doing to his family. He is not being manly - he is being a demon.

Recently, I received a note from this young man. He has been sober since that day. He and his wife are active now in their parish. He took anger managment classes - but most of all, he agreed to pray a Rosary every night with his wife and kids because of what I shared with him and the court.

People who engage in this kind of behavior all think they are justified. I am so grateful I had the chance to speak for all of us who have been victims of these people - either because we were attacked or because we were their family members.

 

[udoc89]

I grew up with a father who regularly followed people who angered him while driving, got into fistfights at the side of the road, ran people off the road…all done with his children and wife in the car with all of us screaming and begging him to stop. He would always turn it around that he was trying to protect his family from these dangerous drivers.

Shortly before my father died, I received a telephone call in the middle of the night. He had gotten into a road rage confrontation with someone who pulled a knife on him, stabbed him and left him bleeding in the middle of the road.

I had to go pick up my father in the middle of the night, from the hospital. The police had found the guy - a young Hispanic male who had been in a running freeway battle with my father while he had HIS wife and kids in the car.

My father died before the sentencing of this young man. My father died 10 days after going to confession and receiving The Eucharist - the first time in 40 years. I got to go to the sentencing hearing a read a witness impact statement.

I knew the young man had been raised Catholic when I saw his family there for the sentencing. I also saw that he was being ‘supported’ by many tough looking men, all glaring at me.

My statement - which is too long to reproduce here - told the young man that I was a product of the kind of horror he had put his own children through that night. I reminded him that he had stabbed a 79 year old man - but worse, he had convinced himself that he should do this to protect his family. That is ****, I told him, pure and simple. I told him that because I am a Catholic I am required by my Church to forgive him if I want to go to heaven someday - but I also told him that if he wants to continue to delude himself into believing he is a good father then he better be prepared to see his now 6 year old daughter standing where I am standing one day - because that is what he is doing to his family. He is not being manly - he is being a demon.

Recently, I received a note from this young man. He has been sober since that day. He and his wife are active now in their parish. He took anger managment classes - but most of all, he agreed to pray a Rosary every night with his wife and kids because of what I shared with him and the court.

People who engage in this kind of behavior all think they are justified. I am so grateful I had the chance to speak for all of us who have been victims of these people - either because we were attacked or because we were their family members.

This is an amazing and sobering story. Bless you, my dear!

 

[housewife]

I grew up with a father who regularly followed people who angered him while driving, got into fistfights at the side of the road, ran people off the road…all done with his children and wife in the car with all of us screaming and begging him to stop. He would always turn it around that he was trying to protect his family from these dangerous drivers.

Shortly before my father died, I received a telephone call in the middle of the night. He had gotten into a road rage confrontation with someone who pulled a knife on him, stabbed him and left him bleeding in the middle of the road.

I had to go pick up my father in the middle of the night, from the hospital. The police had found the guy - a young Hispanic male who had been in a running freeway battle with my father while he had HIS wife and kids in the car.

My father died before the sentencing of this young man. My father died 10 days after going to confession and receiving The Eucharist - the first time in 40 years. I got to go to the sentencing hearing a read a witness impact statement.

I knew the young man had been raised Catholic when I saw his family there for the sentencing. I also saw that he was being ‘supported’ by many tough looking men, all glaring at me.

My statement - which is too long to reproduce here - told the young man that I was a product of the kind of horror he had put his own children through that night. I reminded him that he had stabbed a 79 year old man - but worse, he had convinced himself that he should do this to protect his family. That is ****, I told him, pure and simple. I told him that because I am a Catholic I am required by my Church to forgive him if I want to go to heaven someday - but I also told him that if he wants to continue to delude himself into believing he is a good father then he better be prepared to see his now 6 year old daughter standing where I am standing one day - because that is what he is doing to his family. He is not being manly - he is being a demon.

Recently, I received a note from this young man. He has been sober since that day. He and his wife are active now in their parish. He took anger managment classes - but most of all, he agreed to pray a Rosary every night with his wife and kids because of what I shared with him and the court.

People who engage in this kind of behavior all think they are justified. I am so grateful I had the chance to speak for all of us who have been victims of these people - either because we were attacked or because we were their family members.

God bless your heart.

 

[catechumen08]

I did pray for him and I hope if he has a wife and children he treats them better than he treated me.

Amen to that! I’m really glad that you did that - it takes a lot of strength to be able to pray for your “enemies”.

Also, in case it hasn’t already been brought up, I believe the Vatican issued not long ago the 10 commandments for driving. They have certainly helped me. Whenever someone cuts me off on the road or something - and it happens a lot here - I’m reminded of it and I cool down pretty fast. If everyone could do their part, the roads were be a much nicer - and safer - place.

 

[Alterum]

Hi Rayne, I remember a rather startling story my father told me from his college days:

He and a passenger were driving on a nearly deserted stretch of highway late at night, and the only other car seemed to be full of people who wanted to start trouble. They were also drunk and driving recklessly.

Eventually, the car managed to swerve in front of my father and block the road, so he was forced to stop. The driver got out of the car, popped the trunk, removed a shotgun, and pointed it at my father’s windshield. My father reversed as quickly as he could and got off at the nearest exit.

My whole family carries concealed handguns wherever we can. If you really can’t avoid a confrontation, wouldn’t you rather be prepared?

 

[beckers]

I served on a jury in Texas last year where stopping on the yellow was an issue and I was the only one of the jurors who was taught in drivers ed (Michigan, 1960s) that yellow means caution, slow down and prepare to stop unless you are already in the intersection. All 11 jurors sided with the guy who rear-ended a woman with 3 kids in a van. She had stopped on yellow because there were several cars ahead of her turning left and she did not think she could make it over 7 lanes of traffic.

How did this even go to court? I thought the law in Texas was if you rear-ended someone you were automatically at fault.

And that lady was correct. You shouldn’t cross into the intersection unless you can clear it before the light turn red. i hate people who block the ntersections! IT’s horrible in Rush hour traffic because then the other side can’t get moving!!!

 

[wisdom_3_5]

Also, in case it hasn’t already been brought up, I believe the Vatican issued not long ago the 10 commandments for driving. They have certainly helped me. Whenever someone cuts me off on the road or something - and it happens a lot here - I’m reminded of it and I cool down pretty fast. If everyone could do their part, the roads were be a much nicer - and safer - place.

Is road rage becoming more common in other countries? When we were in China (8 & 5 years ago) we took some pretty wild taxi rides - up on the sidewalk, over the center line, almost hit people on bikes - it was crazy, but no one ever yelled, got angry or used any nasty gestures. Actually when a family (yes dad, mom and child) on a bicycle pulled out in front of us the driver just smiled and waved!

I have friends that have lived in Italy and other parts of Europe and they said that people cut off, slam on brakes etc, but there’s never any fighting. They said that the feeling is as long as there’s no physical damage there’s no reason to get upset. Here in America it seems like there’s a pride issue. Some people take it as a personal affront when something minor happens.

My husband used to get really mad at drivers who “played with his head” you know, not letting him pass, up on his bumper etc. I remember one time we were on a two lane highway and we had one such driver ahead of us. When an oncoming truck almost hit us while passing I freaked out and told him that I would drive if he couldn’t control himself anymore. It just wasn’t worth it. He apologized and we hung back from the other crazy driver who was doing the same thing to another car which did run off the road into a ditch.

Since our children came along my husband is an extremely careful driver. When we see another driver acting badly he keeps a good distance away.

 

[jc-servant]

I served on a jury in Texas last year where stopping on the yellow was an issue and I was the only one of the jurors who was taught in drivers ed (Michigan, 1960s) that yellow means caution, slow down and prepare to stop unless you are already in the intersection. All 11 jurors sided with the guy who rear-ended a woman with 3 kids in a van. She had stopped on yellow because there were several cars ahead of her turning left and she did not think she could make it over 7 lanes of traffic.

You are assuming these people even had real driver’s ed. I used to work for TX DPS. I found out that people can now do “parent taught driver’s ed” which basically means the folks or recently immigrated husband (in many cases) can fake a driving log and send that horrible driver out to scare the rest of us in short order. The student driver gets the permit by passing the written test at DPS. The “teacher” is supposed to teach the rest and log the number of hours and then no road test is required! How scary is that for you!! At least in Oklahoma we had to take a road test with a trooper back in the “olden” days of the 1980’s.

 

[montanaman]

For the most part, I’ve been able to avoid any major road rage problems, although I’m starting to realize that I let myself get way too steamed on the freeways.

However, there’s one story that’s been passed down in the family lore. My dad’s uncle was on the road with his wife one night, and somebody was tailgating him with their brights on. This uncle slowed down to let the other car pass, but he never did. He stopped at a stop sign and waved the other guy around. Other guy wouldn’t do it.

After a couple of miles of this, my dad’s uncle stopped at yet another stop sign, grabbed a hammer, and “politely” (as it is told), walked back to the other guys car and “politely” smashed out his headlights. Then said uncle casually got back in his car with the other guy screaming at him.

Since bright-light tailgaters are one of my top pet peeves, I consider that story more of a “how-to” than a “warning.”

 

[Liberanosamalo]

You are assuming these people even had real driver’s ed. I used to work for TX DPS. I found out that people can now do “parent taught driver’s ed” which basically means the folks or recently immigrated husband (in many cases) can fake a driving log and send that horrible driver out to scare the rest of us in short order. The student driver gets the permit by passing the written test at DPS. The “teacher” is supposed to teach the rest and log the number of hours and then no road test is required! How scary is that for you!! At least in Oklahoma we had to take a road test with a trooper back in the “olden” days of the 1980’s.

Not as scary as you may think, if you really give it careful thought. I’m a parent. My daughter is learning to drive. Who do you think is going to teach her more carefully? Some behind the wheel hourly wage earner who has a bunch of students and no personal stake in the matter? Or the mother who carried her for nine months, and has spent every day for 17 years ensuring her safety? That log you think can be faked is actually taken very seriously by most parents I know. And it requires personal supervision and personal attention to a child’s driving patterns. We don’t let loose our children and take for granted that some stranger actually taught them something they need to know. The survival of our child on the road depends on whether we did our job.

Do you really think I want to attend my daughter’s funeral because I faked her log and didn’t teach her to drive carefully? Do you think I’d sign for her license eventually if I didn’t see that she was a careful and responsible driver?

You think a stranger cares more?

 

[pumpkinbeast]

Not as scary as you may think, if you really give it careful thought. I’m a parent. My daughter is learning to drive. Who do you think is going to teach her more carefully? Some behind the wheel hourly wage earner who has a bunch of students and no personal stake in the matter? Or the mother who carried her for nine months, and has spent every day for 17 years ensuring her safety? That log you think can be faked is actually taken very seriously by most parents I know. And it requires personal supervision and personal attention to a child’s driving patterns. We don’t let loose our children and take for granted that some stranger actually taught them something they need to know. The survival of our child on the road depends on whether we did our job.

Do you really think I want to attend my daughter’s funeral because I faked her log and didn’t teach her to drive carefully? Do you think I’d sign for her license eventually if I didn’t see that she was a careful and responsible driver?

You think a stranger cares more?

I’m sure you’d be able to teach your daughter to drive perfectly well, I’ll make that clear now.

However. I had a few lessons in how to drive from my dad, and I took a Young Drivers course, taught by ‘a stranger’. I enjoyed the lessons from the ‘stranger’ a lot more than those from my dad. Because my dad cares, he yells to get his point across. That’s just the way my dad is. If he wants you to jump, and he wants you to do it NOW, he’ll yell. He’s not doing it to be mean, just to get you to listen. But trying to drive with the fear of being yelled at made for me not wanting to practice driving, and I put off getting my full license for a year. Fast forward to Young Drivers. I walk in to my first morning class, and see a man who’s face reminds me of a bulldog and who’s build reminds me of a bear. I’m thinking ‘oh no.’ After the class room sessions, there are in car driving lessons. My teacher, Mark, takes me down to the bare basics: testing how much the car responds when you try the wheel, when you try the brakes, when you try the accelerator, etc… things my dad had missed when he first took me driving. Mark cared very deeply about his students. He had a very patient and quiet teaching style, so I was never scared of him. But he also emphasized what mistakes people make that end up getting them in accidents or killed. He laid down the road laws explicitly, and he knew them inside out and backwards, because it was his job and he loved it. He was one of those behind the wheel wage earners, and he cared about his students. He cared, and he taught us well. I am so glad my parents invested in driving lessons from ‘a stranger’.

gets off of soapbox

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Pumpkinbeast, you were VERY lucky! Really. I agree there are some parents who should never teach children to drive. My mother never tried, for just that reason. She’s extremely careful, and no accidents in over 45 years of driving. But she doesn’t let go of the wheel very well. My oldest brother taught me to drive. Very cautious and quiet guy. No yelling.

Then I took behind the wheel from some guy whom I barely remember for two weeks that summer. And I took turns with a bunch of strange kids from other schools in driving down the road. That was it. None of the careful attention you got.

I think the 60 hours required on the road under a parent’s supervision here are very adequate. We can’t all have a great teacher like you had. And some states don’t mandate any training if you are over 18. You can just get a license with no official training at all.

It’s a wonder we aren’t all splattered across the road like squirrels, isn’t it?

 

[ack]

Yeah, but the OP said that no road test is required. At least students who go to driver’s ed get tested.

Not as scary as you may think, if you really give it careful thought. I’m a parent. My daughter is learning to drive. Who do you think is going to teach her more carefully? Some behind the wheel hourly wage earner who has a bunch of students and no personal stake in the matter? Or the mother who carried her for nine months, and has spent every day for 17 years ensuring her safety? That log you think can be faked is actually taken very seriously by most parents I know. And it requires personal supervision and personal attention to a child’s driving patterns. We don’t let loose our children and take for granted that some stranger actually taught them something they need to know. The survival of our child on the road depends on whether we did our job.

Do you really think I want to attend my daughter’s funeral because I faked her log and didn’t teach her to drive carefully? Do you think I’d sign for her license eventually if I didn’t see that she was a careful and responsible driver?

You think a stranger cares more?

 

[Sina]

My husband had a big road rage problem. He is the gentlest, and quietest man most of the time but if someone cuts him off, he will speed up in the lane next to them and cut them off back. He will even do it on the highway is someone is driving slow in the fast lane. I get so angry and tell him it is my car too, and my life in the car and he needs to calm down. He always apologizes about 10 minutes later when he has calmed down. Anger issues!

 

[PaulinVA]

I think “rookie” drivers need to have a magnetic bumper sticker, fluorescent yellow, that warns everyone they are a new driver. Most people really are compassionate if you give them a reason.

By the way, my son is taking the behind the wheel class from the county school system this week. They’ll be on the Washington Beltway today from 2 to 4 - cut them some slack!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Paul, so they’re teaching them to drive at 25 mph? Hahaha. Where on the Beltway? 495? 95?

I know it well… take them to the mixing bowl. That would be a good time!