the thing that needs liberation is the attitude behind gift giving, namely regarding them as tit for tat, as an obligation that requires some return, as one-upmanship (grandparents excel at this game with the other set of grandparents), as manipulation–you send somebody a gift that dictates their behavior in some way, ie a bible to an atheist, a football to a boy who is into art. We do this in very subtle ways–and CS Lewis does the best job of illustrating this in his books like Screwtape and Great Divorce–letting people know even non-verbally we demand gratitude for every gift we give, and we demand some return for our generosity, some appreciation, some little material token of esteem from those we claim to love.
Gift giving can be a real joy when it springs from a genuine desire to do a thoughtful act of kindness for another. I still remember the fun we had shopping for our first Christmas as newlyweds (well engaged, we married the day after). We did it all at Pier 1 which was then a new store, and much less expensive, and more unique, than it is today. Except for the pet turtle for BIL. We were totally broke and still managed to find something for everyone, selected with that individual in mind, and probably spent $20 total.
Other lean Christmases we have “good deed-doers day”–wash someone’s car, shovel their walk, clean windows, done household repairs, repaired bicycles, all kinds of things. For DS we restock his apartment with staples, paper products, things to bulky and heavy to carry on the bus, and also do this for an elderly relative. We have passed that task on to a grandchild who is also in a tight financial situation. He goes in and totally cleans the homes of the elderly relatives who live in his town. A neighbor in our trailer park cuts grass for those who can’t do it themselves.
*