Anyone else a lonely Catholic...?

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Don’t get me wrong, I have lots to be thankful for: a loving Catholic husband, great kids (who no longer attend Mass), grandchildren, etc.
But I have no close Catholic friends. We’re converts (2006) and I am a professional musician, so I have a church job in a town 30 miles from my home…Our home parish here in town is totally dead when it comes to any sort of socializing or Bible study groups, etc. Everything revolves around the school, which gets old. I am all for Catholic education (and sent my kids to Catholic schools) but after so many years, you kinda want to get into something else.
Before you ask, yes, I have tried several times to get a Bible study group going, or to initiate some sort of group at our parish, but it has been hopeless. No one ever comes, no matter what time of day or whatever day of the week.
We are 30 miles from any other church, but I am considering changing parishes; I feel so undernourished and lonesome.
A big problem is gas; we just don’t have the money to run back and forth to a parish so far away.
What should I do? :confused:
 
My mind went in several directions after I read this. I’ll jot out my thoughts in order:
  1. “Undernourished?” I gently advise a bit of caution when labeling your feelings this way. Feelings are not the be-all, end-all of our religious and spiritual experiences with God, right? There are times for everyone when they feel dry and barren in this regard, but it’s our -doing-, not our -feeling-, that God looks at. You’ve tried some doing already, and haven’t met with success in establishing Bible studies or the like. If God hasn’t decided to allow that sort of thing to come into your area and life yet, why not pursue some independent study of the Saints and the history of our beautiful faith? Like you, I have few options for group activities where I live, but these kinds of studies continue to be a blessing and a font of inspiration and wonder for me.
  2. “Lonely.” Where’s hubby in all of this? Maybe he could start a study with you. If you already are, or have decided not to, what else is making you lonely? And in any event, with help to the dry and lonely part:
  3. Prayer. That’s what has helped me the most in my times of loneliness and barrenness and whatnot. I’m sure you pray already, but if you don’t yet, try a Rosary a day for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Those poor folks understand the meaning of suffering all too well, and will pray for you in turn. Study the Way of the Cross, and let your pain be united with Christ’s…it does help.
I know that prolly doesn’t help as much as you’d like, but it sounds like your options are fairly limited, and God hasn’t seen fit to change that yet…draw close and lovingly to Him, and to Mary too, and they won’t let you down. Tell Them in the silent and deep places of your heart, and They will talk back. Remember too that nothing is hidden from His sight, and He knows your needs.

Lastly, I will pray a Divine Mercy chaplet for you right now…may peace and a luxury of awe and wonder in your life with our God descend upon you, ma’am.
 
Musician said:
Don’t get me wrong, I have lots to be thankful for: a loving Catholic husband, great kids (who no longer attend Mass), grandchildren, etc.
But I have no close Catholic friends. We’re converts (2006) and I am a professional musician, so I have a church job in a town 30 miles from my home…Our home parish here in town is totally dead when it comes to any sort of socializing or Bible study groups, etc. Everything revolves around the school, which gets old. I am all for Catholic education (and sent my kids to Catholic schools) but after so many years, you kinda want to get into something else.
Before you ask, yes, I have tried several times to get a Bible study group going, or to initiate some sort of group at our parish, but it has been hopeless. No one ever comes, no matter what time of day or whatever day of the week.
We are 30 miles from any other church, but I am considering changing parishes; I feel so undernourished and lonesome.
A big problem is gas; we just don’t have the money to run back and forth to a parish so far away.
What should I do? :confused:
Click to expand...
I hear ya. Convert here, too! Though I do have some Catholic friends, I have some of the same concerns. I think a lot of people do.

Your feelings are your feelings; how you describe them is your own business and so is where you go to Mass. We are lucky to have a number of parishes within the same distance (our regular one has no parking lot and is on a steep hill, can’t go in snow).

I don’t have a to-do list for you except to keep praying and keep showing up here. 👍
 
The one and only regret I have since becoming Catholic is that we, at least in the parish I attend, have considerably fewer opportunities for fellowship than I was accustomed io in the Episcopal Church. I wish we had more in the way of coffee hours and potlucks, although coffee hours are not everybody’s cup of tea. (sorry, couldn’t resist:rolleyes:)
 
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot. 😦 In areas where parishes are so few and far between, that can definitely be a problem. It’s hard to build up that sense of community with a parish so far away, too.

Have you talked to your priest about strategies for reaching out? I know the frustration of putting your energies into starting up programs that no one comes to. Perhaps together you can come up with some concrete ideas to improve things, even if it takes some time.

Is it true that no one showed up to the things you planned or was it simply very few? Even if at least someone else shows up, I wouldn’t close the door on such activities completely. You have to start somewhere. :o

Perhaps a Bible study is too much for the people of your parish at this point. Maybe starting up a simple tradition of coffee and donuts after Mass every Sunday would help to build those bonds of fellowship between people in your parish. Once those bonds start to be formed, then it’s easier to recruit people for specifically catechetical enterprises.

I will pray for you.
 
I often wish I had more devout catholic friends in my area.
 
How about socializing with Jesus in the Tabernacle and also doing your Bible Study with Him…I am sure He is alone…He will “FILL you”👍
 
Musician said:
What should I do?
Click to expand...
if your current parish does not have activities you would like to join, start them. If you don’t want to start them, get involved in the school or whatever else is happening there.
 
YES!!! I could have written almost your same post.
We are also 30 miles from another church, and no activities much here either. When we moved here a few months ago, I thought we would get to know maybe even a few people in the parish that maybe went to our school, but there is nobody. Many times lately I have thought it would be very convenient to be Baptist, as is what most people are here. When we go to Saturday evening mass, our family of four makes 25 people at mass. Sundays a little more.
I had just written a question earlier about starting a group in our church, and I also wonder if anyone would be interested either, like you had said.
I think connecting within our Catholic faith is important. It is important to be able to share such an integral part of your life with others. And a parish is supposed to be community oriented anyway.
I am sorry you feel alone, and know that another here shares that with you!
 
I know what you mean. I’ve never had another Catholic as a friend. My friends are either protestant or non-religious.
 
I used to be a lonely Catholic, all alone but no longer.

As regards to Catholic friends, I have none and haven’t had any since I was a boy.

I rarely get to talk about Catholicism and such with people.
 
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