As someone who married very late and will be very old when my babies leave my nest, I confess I am a little envious of YOU, OP!
Also the best practice to write is to read a lot and just live life. All the experiences that the OP has will one day be possible fodder for her writing.Turn off your TV, get away from those materialistic “friends”, and get rid of the secular ideas that having children equals being miserably tied down. Look at your beautiful little girl and tell yourself that you really wish she didn’t exist so that you could sit in a creative writing class somewhere or go on vacation.
Sounds like what you need is a hobby!
As someone who married very late and will be very old when my babies leave my nest, I confess I am a little envious of YOU, OP!
Agreed. Very few of my friends are “Capitol Hill” types, so I see little of the snobbishness that other DC posters are complaining about… sdeco, not everyone in the DC area is an “overachiever”, maybe there’s a Catholic mom’s group nearby where you can meet people who are more like you?Remember how many transient folks there are in DC, too. People are from literally all over, so you will find really friendly pragmatic folks from all areas that have settled here. You just have to search them out.
advice, if you want it, it’s free, otherwise just disregard, from someone who has declared income from writing every year on my tax form since 1968: forget grad school, creative writing seminar, and any other excuse for not writing. Just write. Every day. Forget using your family, job, health or any other excuse for not writing. A real writer writes. every day.
But you didn’t. Now that’s in the past.
You can still do these things, in your free time. A real writer, as puzzleannie said, finds time to write about anything and everything at any opportunity. And you will learn far more by doing your own theology reading (so long as your books are of sound faith) than you will learn in a classroom. Start reading. Start writing. Don’t wish and wait for the day when you can do it unhindered.
Perhaps God willed your early marriage and the surprise baby to redirect your attention to more important things in life - namely, a vocation and the care of souls. Traveling is pretty low on God’s list of important things to do.
After all, it is YOUR VOCATION as a wife and mother that WILL MAKE YOU A SAINT. Anything else is just an added bonus or a distraction - and in your case it sounds like all these desires are distractions.Why? Why? I am so at a loss here…you wished you’d had more fun? You would give up beautiful years with your husband and child just to have more fun?
But didn’t you just say you believed God willed your early marriage? So even though His hand was in all this - you’d rather have traveled and gone to school longer?
All I can say is, So What?
Some people never see the outside of their own state and live very happy lives.And how many are really, truly happy? How many are at peace with God and themselves? How many radiate the love of Christ?I think part of my discontent has to do with the fact that I live in the DC area, the capitol of spoiled over-privileged overachievers.
You do not know this. You may die tomorrow. You may lose your family tomorrow. Anything may happen - there are no guarantees. That’s why we are to live in the PRESENT MOMENT and find God’s grace in the HERE and NOW. We have no idea what tomorrow may bring.
When I read this, I’m sorry, but to me it sounded as though you were saying: “My true goals and desires in life are to travel and have fun! But I’m a wife and mom now, so I’ll just bore myself with this patiently until I can go do what I want to do, after all, it’s all about me.” I apologize if that’s too blunt, but it struck me all wrong.
You are 27 years old. TWENTY SEVEN. You are talking like you married at 35 and had children at 40. I cannot imagine wanting my children to grow up any faster - every day with them is a joy and a challenge, but already the time is flying by too quickly for me…
Because you are not content. Because you haven’t embraced your vocation to its fullest.
That’s because many Catholic wives understand their calling to this vocation, embrace it and love it. They understand their duty of raising up souls for the Kingdom of God. I’m not saying you don’t, but I don’t think you fully understand the beauty of your vocation. It’s hard to love it and embrace it if you’re always looking elsewhere.
Ooo–I can relate to the desire to take theology classes “just for fun”.
I suggest you pick up books by St. Teresa of Avila–she’s* wonderful*! She’s a doctor of the Church, and her books are frequently studied in theology classes. Theology students trying to pour over her material quickly while having to read for other classes are at a disadvantage to us mommies at home who can read her at our leisure. Her writing is so concentrated–if you can just find time to read a paragraph or two in a day, you’ll have plenty to meditate on and inspire you while you go about your day. Best of all, she’s not some dead author–she’s a Saint in Heaven. You can ask her to interceed for you and help you understand what she wrote.Your post made me think of an old friend who fits this description. Well-educated, well-travelled, well-paid. She now has a husband and child, but several years ago she muttered under her breath while we were talking about her life, “I want what you have.” I was a stay home mommy with 2 kids at the time. (Hmm, I wonder if she still wants my life now that I have seven…)…I think part of my discontent has to do with the fact that I live in the DC area, the capitol of spoiled over-privileged overachievers.
I love this line! What a wonderful way to view the little fingerprints I find all over the windows of our home.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Ironically, I heard something on the radio while driving home…it was a Protestant radio station that I landed on…just listening to the news, and then a speaker came on talking about feelings of resentment and discontent…where do these feelings come from? So, I decided to stay tuned in…and she went on to say…that most resentment and feelings of discontent come from COMPARISONS. Comparing our lives to another…I got married when I was 23 and had a daughter – a surprise – a year later. My husband and I are now both 27 with a 3-year-old daughter.
I love my husband and daughter, but sometimes I get depressed when I see how free my single and childless friends are. I have not traveled much and wish I had had the opportunity to travel more before becoming a mother. I am also a poet and would love to go to grad school for creative writing and maybe some writer’s conferences. I would love to take art classes and theology classes for fun. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or money for these activities right now. And the more children we have, the harder it will be for us to travel, take classes, etc.
My husband I met when we were 18-year-old college freshman. We felt that God was calling us to marry relatively young – when we got married, we had been dating for almost 5 years. It’s not like we rushed into anything. The baby was a surprise, though – we weren’t planning on having her quite so soon. Having a child really limits what you can do, even more so than marriage does.
I guess part of me wishes I had met my husband a little later in life, so that I could have had more fun as a single person. I feel like I wouldn’t feel this way if I had had the opportunity to travel, go to grad school, etc. before marriage and motherhood. I am literally the least traveled person I know. Even my husband has traveled more than I have – he went on vacation to Europe with his family during the summer while we were in college.
I think part of my discontent has to do with the fact that I live in the DC area, the capitol of spoiled over-privileged overachievers.
Also, I know that *someday *I’ll get to travel, go back to school, etc. I’ll just have to wait, possibly until my kids are grown. My parents had never been overseas until they were in their 40s. Now they’re empty-nesters and they go somewhere exotic every year. A lot of people go back to school later in life.
I guess all I can do is try to be patient. I’m just wondering if anyone can relate to these feelings. I feel like I want to fast-forward my life, past the pregnancy/infant/toddler years and into the years when our kids are grown and we have the financial freedom to do these things that we’ve been wanting to do. I have a hard time staying in the moment and enjoying the here and now. It seems like so many Catholic wives and mothers who married and had children at a young age are perfectly content and have no desires or goals beyond motherhood. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, but I just can’t relate to that. I’m so restless. Anyone feel the same way? How do you get rid of these feelings and find contentment?
I’ve hitch-hiked through Europe and Asia for 8 months, have driven across the US 3 or 4 times camping out, helped build a geodesic dome from scratch, published a couple of books, and have had two children and adopted two. The best parts of my life revolve around my children.
Totally hear you and can relate to what you’re feeling from times in my own life. You don’t mention what you and or your husband do for employment. Any chance of an ex-pat assignment over-seas?
Making plans is a brilliant idea for the OP. Just because she can’t travel now doesn’t mean that she won’t be able to one day. If she and her hubby work hard to remain out of the debt then extra money can be put away into a savings account for their travel plans.
Good post Island Oak! Yes, I also relate to the feelings expresses by the op at times in my own life. While a stronger spiritual life might help, I also agree that these feelings should be used cretively rather than “buried”.