Anyone else's parish not give a flaming hoot whether they live or die?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Brettbat
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Brettbat said:
Well, two Grand Knights in other parishes have called these guys, trying to get them to respond. Knights at the State level also tried to get them to contact me. Nothing. What am I to think, when nothing and no one will get this group to respond?
Click to expand...
Sounds like they aren’t terribly organized. It’s a common issue in many parishes.

You have two options. Either find a new parish or figure out how to fit in this parish. It is hard to be a newcomer, no matter what parish you’re in, and there is a learning curve where you have to figure out what it means to be both a Catholic and a member of the parish. If you’re finding that maybe you and this parish are a poor fit, maybe it is time to move elsewhere.
 
One other thing.

You have said or intimated, in both this and your previous past, that you believed that either you personally or your family were being singled out for exclusion. If you truly believe that to be the case, then schedule an appointment with the pastor and bring those concerns to him. He should be made aware of discriminatory behaviour in his church.
 
Brettbat said:
40.png
casslean:
You said the Knights of Columbus are very active. Have you actually, personally, reached out to the Grand Knight? Not an email - an actual face-to-face conversation?
Click to expand...
Well, the Grand Knight and I go to different Masses; the parish secretary gave me his number. Several calls, no return. I can only assume they don’t really want new members. Or have a bias against Orthodoxy.
Click to expand...
Go to his mass. Introduce yourself. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions and taking a lot of things personally that may not be personal at all. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe the guy has something going on in his personal life. Or he is busy. Or maybe he is just a jerk. But don’t think the Church is not welcoming because of the Knights. The Knights are all Catholic, but not all Catholics are Knights.

Your first thread was 17 days ago. Followed by another one 13 days ago. Perhaps you need to just let it go for a bit and “be” for a while.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Your first thread was 17 days ago. Followed by another one 13 days ago. Perhaps you need to just let it go for a bit and “be” for a while.
Click to expand...
I hadn’t realized how close in time these were.

I don’t know what the OP’s church is like, but I know as someone active in several service and liturgical ministries, Advent, Christmas, Lent, Easter - they are incredibly busy times. I was talking to someone the other day and we were commenting (whining, really) that with Easter being so early this year, we haven’t stopped since November.

Sometimes it really is just bad timing.
 
Irishmom2 said:
But don’t think the Church is not welcoming because of the Knights. The Knights are all Catholic, but not all Catholics are Knights.
Click to expand...
The Knights are just one of eight or nine ministries/people I have contacted directly. We have not missed a Mass since first arriving in that parish last September. No one speaks to us; no one responds to our offers to volunteer and be part of the parish. The Knights are the least of the problems
 
So, you speak to people in person and what happens? They stare silently ahead? I really am having a difficult time with the picture you are painting.
 
My apologies if this has been suggested but I would just show up for events and ministries that don’t require an invitation or sponsor. Something like a fish fry or pancake breakfast and be ready to do the jobs no one wants. People appreciate someone who isn’t too proud to do cleanup or whatever. If the pancake breakfast is sponsored by the KoC all the better. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong but the KoCs probably won’t be territorial about who picks up a mop or stacks chairs (one or two might be territorial over the griddle though.) Compliment the food or whatever is going on and you will find an inroad. It’s been a while but if memory serves phone calls were not effective but just showing up, ready to work, was. It’s a liitle backward to make yourself welcome but ultimately you will make your place in your parish family.
 
Last edited:
People who are bad with phone calls aren’t all of the sudden improve because an upper level volunteer directed them to.

Have you actually spoken to any of these people? If they are jerks you’re right to be upset by right now it seems that you are upset that they aren’t doing things your way.
 
Perhaps what he is experiencing is true…not all places are the same. I have seen a LOT has to do with geography.
I am from a very rural area where the families are cliquish and have been for generations…it can be disconcerting to folks who are not used to this. Most I went to Catholic school with were families who knew the other families and all mostly married into the said families…different parts of the county had different families and it was just the way it was. Around here used to be mostly old German families…a lot of immigrants…that is slowly changing but believe me they are not the most welcoming at times. It’s not a religion thing. Its culturally, hereditary, geography, politically, family and human nature influenced…and probably some others I didn’t think of.
I do not know if that is the case here, but it is a distinct possibility.

Respectfully,

M
 
Last edited:
BlueMaxx, do you live in my parish? You described it to a tee. But if people want to get involved, they have to put themselves out there like another poster said. Just show up. Flatter them and say you want to help.
 
So don’t “offer” to volunteer. Do what I do - just show up at the next organized event and pitch in!
 
Irishmom2 said:
BlueMaxx, do you live in my parish? You described it to a tee. But if people want to get involved, they have to put themselves out there like another poster said. Just show up. Flatter them and say you want to help.
Click to expand...
😂

That is funny…maybe me thinking mine was such an anomaly was way off base! I just figured it had to due with too many cornfields!

I may not come across like it, but I am very introverted… I can understand how intimidating it might be to be not only be a new convert but new to a whole new group of people, Priest, Parish, traditions, ect…it could be overwhelming and it would be no surprise he may be ultra sensitive to all this.

I think God will take care of it…sometimes growth is painful…this may just be the “birth pangs” if you will of the beginning of a wonderful experience for his family.

And I also agree with you, Ask, Seek, Knock…and keep it up till you get an answer!
 
Last edited:
Ask what day of the week,at what time they organize food in the pantry( or fold clothes,or whatever doesn t need but a pair of hands) and be there on that day and that time,say Hi!roll up your sleeves,and hands on!
That is what I would do in this case.
And if there is one group like Bible Study, or whatever anything,enroll.
 
Last edited:
Brettbat said:
40.png
Irishmom2:
But don’t think the Church is not welcoming because of the Knights. The Knights are all Catholic, but not all Catholics are Knights.
Click to expand...
The Knights are just one of eight or nine ministries/people I have contacted directly. We have not missed a Mass since first arriving in that parish last September. No one speaks to us; no one responds to our offers to volunteer and be part of the parish. The Knights are the least of the problems
Click to expand...
Hardly anyone talks to my family after Mass. even at my former parish where I was involved in a bazillion things we rarely chatted before or after Mass. That’s just the way it is. And for many ministries it was pulling teeth to get in. The voulenteers had their hearts in the right place but were horrible at the execution. Even though the parish secretary was the co-leader of the knitting group and it was “regularly scheduled”. It still took several months for me to actually attend. And this was at a parish where I was much loved and knew a ton of people. They were just disorganized and impossible to contact and never followed up. Good people and were always happy to see me…but getting in was horrid.
 
Last edited:
One more thing: You may have to complete Safe Environment training before being a part a most ministries. Take initiative and get that done so there’s no delay when an you get the invitation or an opportunity arises.

You can find info for this in the bulliten and/or parish and/or diocesan website.
 
Last edited:
My best luck in getting involved in a parish has been joining the choir. My worst luck was trying to volunteer at a barbecue. Nobody wanted me there. I move a lot so I find that “it takes time” isn’t an acceptable answer. Also joining something like a Bible Study might help, something where someone can’t screen you out.

Usually someone will say “hello” or something like that to me if I attend any parish a couple of times. So you may have found an unfriendly parish.
 
I’m sorry things are not going so well for you…but is this not a repeat of a thread you started a few months ago?
 
It was 17 days ago actually, and another after that before this one.
 
OP, I just really read the title of this thread…🤔

From them not responding to you on your schedule, they don’t care “whether you live or die?” Really? Isn’t that a little overly dramatic?
 
Last edited:
Of course they care if you live or die 🙂 We pray for one another at mass.
As I and others suggested you could try another catholic church nearby,or be the one to befriend other people.
God bless.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top