Anyone else's parish not give a flaming hoot whether they live or die?

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All you have to do is ask the priest if there is a project he needs help with.
 
True. I got lucky when I joined my parish. We used to have a group for middle aged parishioners and we’d get together several times a year for various activities.

I’d just joined my church several months before and went to one of their activities without my husband (he didn’t want to go). They were doing a “Road Rally” where we’d get in groups and follow clues in our cars to collect playing cards and meet up afterwards to see who won, like poker. We had a meal after that.
I met people that way, and from there I met other people through those people.
 
I’ve never looked to the Catholic Church to make friends. It is a cultural thing, but not exclusive to Catholics. I mean that in Canada, where I’m from, people aren’t that much fun.

When you speak to people from India or Africa who come to Canada they invariably really miss their families and find it very hard to find fun friends here.

Most people aren’t much fun. So, consequently, they stick with the people they know and think are fun, namely their own families. People are very busy and even in the best of times, would only have about half hour per week for socializing.

If I were you, I’d just drop putting effort into it. If somebody comes along and wants to be your friend, great. But normally it would have to be a couple with similar interests to yours anyhow. If I started trying to befriend you, as a single woman I would likely make your wife jealous.
 
Brettbat said:
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Roseeurekacross:
In your discourse there is no joy or happiness in joining the Catholic Church. No acknowledgement you are there for Worship of God. And how you came back to the Church is a wonderful thing.

It’s all negative discourse.

I truly believe you are feeling out of sorts about your old community shunning you. And transferring that to your new community.

You asked.
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Yes, that is true. When we joined, when we were received, it was indeed joyous. We were ecstatic to have found or way to the Church. We left Orthodoxy because we believed that the Catholic church is correct and true on all matters. We were glad to leave the Orthodox faith.

The lack of welcome after really putting ourselves out there, and being embarrassed over and over again, has really dampened what was originally a beautiful spiritual homecoming.
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When you were received into the church many would have learned your names and welcomed you then?🙂
 
We aren’t entitled. No one owes us anything.

Negativity won’t help.

We have to roll up our selves and do the work. Join the ministries that are not glamorous or popular. Join the cleaning and dish washing ministries. Someone has to serve the coffee and morning tea. Someone has to cleanup. Someone has to turn up , prepare and stay the entire function, clean up then leave.

Unless the person needs the hearing loop seat, the disabled seats, the seat where their people can find them to drive them home after mass, then a seat is a seat. And the action of one person not having what they consider their seat:

Does not define Catholicism.
And if there is a seating arrangement, why not use this weekly to get to know the seat regulars. You know the drill, hey there , pass a hymnal please, how are you today. Nice Homily. What’s up for Easter break…
.
 
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Exactly.

It’s a long slow process. I have gone back to the church. It was a while before anyone really spoke, and that came about more through daily Mass. One sunday my priest asked if I would help in for kitchen for the post Mass function. That’s where you get to know people. I was the runner for the older ladies in serving post mass functions. Joined weekly rosaries when I could. Got to know people slowly that way.

It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.

If I had said early on, I want to become a lector or server or welcomer or cantor, I am sure I would have got the, well let’s see if you stick around and find out where your talents are, first. And 18 mths later, that’s happened.

Two of the most unlikely people in the Parish have taken up ministries recently.

So ask what they need help with. It might be picking up the donated bread for st vinnies
 
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Greenfields said:
When you were received into the church many would have learned your names and welcomed you then?
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Yes, one would think that. Father received us, announced who we were, etc. It was a weekday Mass, with about 150 people attending. Unfortunately, not one person said a single word to us afterwards. I wish I were making it up, but no, not a word. Rather sad and discouraging.
 
Thank you for your response. I have been reading the responses here and praying about it, and you are right. I will just attend to my spiritual needs and not be so concerned with the other things right now. Mass at our parish is a beautiful thing.
 
I am east of Seattle. I also like a traditional liturgy. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please don’t give up. I’m sure there is a need for you somewhere. I have been in my parish for 3 years now and people are starting to recognize me now. I smile and act friendly. Keep persevering!
 
I actually wouldn’t mind a 10 pm midnight mass 😁 as I get pretty sleepy at midnight too.

OP I think there is a case for lowering your expectations with this and focusing on the spiritual. It’s not great, I’m trying to figure out Godparents and it’s really strange having to explain to people that I haven’t got any good Catholic friends, I worry that hearing this is going to put them off the Catholic faith.
 
Sounds like my parish, we do, sometimes, have Tuesday Mass at 7pm, but it often gets switched to the morning, bible study and adoration just don’t exist in my parish but rosary is at 6:30pm, However that only from Easter til Winter as it doesn’t happen when it’s dark as the older people don’t want to go out in the dark for it.
 
From the time we “spring forward” in March our Mass time is 7 p.m. but when we “fall back”, Mass time changes to 9:30 a.m.

We have Adoration, Divine Mercy Chaplet, and the Rosary before every Mass but obviously in the winter the working folk don’t get to attend.

We’re not a big parish, around 1500 members. I mostly attend the Saturday evening Mass because that’s when I’m a reader. I’ve been in this parish for 21 years and if I go to Mass on Sunday morning there are many folk I don’t recognize. Upon inquiring I usually discover they are long-time parishioners I just haven’t met before.

I’m sure many of the Sunday morning attendees, if they were to attend a Saturday Mass, would not recognize some members of the parish who’ve been here over 40 years because those long-time members only ever attend the Saturday Mass and don’t attend the social functions that usually happen right after Sunday Mass.
 
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We only have one Mass all weekend! No Saturday night vigil! I don’t think we have had that since we merged with the next parish over due to lack of priests.

I do worry though that while it’s all currently designed for the elderly, what is going to happen when they all die and there’s no one around to take over from them.

We have very few for confirmation, I think we had 4 last year between 3 parishes, and this year there is 8 for first Communion, which is up on last year, but very little people are coming into the church, so within 2 decades our church will be reduced by a good half if not more.
 
A lot of people seem to be uncomfortable or reticent when extending the sign of peace.
 
Clare said:
We have very few for confirmation, I think we had 4 last year between 3 parishes, and this year there is 8 for first Communion, which is up on last year, but very little people are coming into the church, so within 2 decades our church will be reduced by a good half if not more.
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Same for our parish. I think I’m the second youngest person there. There’s a lovely teenage girl who seems to be the youngest.
 
I’ve heard of the opposite, I knew an older lady whose parish had to cut down to one mass, the parish voted and the parents of children that do sport on Sunday won, they were left with the Saturday vigil. She said it meant many elderly people not feeling able to go in the winter months.

I think ideally a parish would enough different people to be able to have appropriate ministries for everyone but it’s not realistic for many.
 
I asked OP because I wanted to know if the parishioners at minimum smiled and shook hands. No answer.
 
There are usually only about 25 people at the Saturday evening Mass and for a while I wondered why we had this Mass at all, since the total number of people who attend the 2 Masses doesn’t come close to filling the church.

I came to find out that due to health issues some seniors find it much too difficult to get ready for the 10 a.m. Sunday morning Mass so they only go to the one at 4:30 p.m. Saturday.
 
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