Anyone else's parish not give a flaming hoot whether they live or die?

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Tis_Bearself said:
I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but I don’t think your individual experience as one non-Catholic Christian in an entire world of sects and denominations makes my statement “wildly inaccurate at best”.

I’m stepping off the thread now, feel free to continue this argument with yourself if you like.
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Again, a true delight. Such a pleasant human being.
 
TC3033 said:
I can also say that your individual experience with “many” non-Catholics saying that 80%-90% of the reason we show up to church doesn’t necessarily equate to my position and upbringing the exception to the rule either.
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Having spent 40+ years of my life as a Protestant I can see where Tis_Bearself would say that, though. I grew up with a Baptist mom and a Catholic dad and became Methodist. I am now Catholic.

The atmosphere in a Catholic church and the Baptist/Methodist/nondenominational churches I’ve been to are literally like night and day. Even as a little kid going to Mass with my Dad was different than going to church with my maternal grandparents.

It does feel more “fellowship” oriented in the Protestant world. It always did to me, actually.

She’s not meaning to be offensive. Bear is likely the least offensive person on here! She just has a different perspective.
 
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It’s fair to say fellowship is more important. Some of my non-Catholic friends say that to them church is a community of believers worshiping together. That doesn’t mean they treat going to church like going to the bingo.

The other difference I sometimes see with non-Catholic friends is that attending a church is optional, if their experience of attending church was like either mine or Bretbatts they may stop attending and worship and pray alone.
 
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Pup7 said:
et you chose to exhibit that which you attempted to degrade. Interesting.
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There was nothing unChristian in my comment. That person has had a tendency on this thread to exhibit a lack of kindness and understanding, and a lack of compassion. As Christians, we are to demonstrate those attributes. Also as Christians (read all of Paul’s epistles), we are called to point out when those who call themselves Christians do not behave as such.

As someone who does NOT exhibit unkindness, lack of understanding, and lack of compassion, indeed one whose life’s work is rooted in compassion and kindness, I can and will point out the lack thereof.
 
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I found it interesting that you did precisely what you accused her of, though. There are far more charitable ways to call out others than that, I would think. There’s doing the Christian thing, and then there’s coming across as a parent. I thought you were rude.

Good night.
 
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ConfusedLucy said:
It’s fair to say fellowship is more important. Some of my non-Catholic friends say that to them church is a community of believers worshiping together. That doesn’t mean they treat going to church like going to the bingo.
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Yes. Christianity, as it was intended, should be a community, not a room full of strangers at Mass.
 
Brettbat said:
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ConfusedLucy:
It’s fair to say fellowship is more important. Some of my non-Catholic friends say that to them church is a community of believers worshiping together. That doesn’t mean they treat going to church like going to the bingo.
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Yes. Christianity, as it was intended, should be a community, not a room full of strangers at Mass.
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And Christianity only exists within the walls or members of your parish or your local K of C?

The WORLD is our community. Our families, workplaces and towns are our community. Our country is our community.

Jesus certainly didn’t restrict His “community” to the synagogue of Nazareth. He went forth and made His own. Even made heretic Samaritans and pagan Romans part of it.
 
I think it’s like a particular community that builds one another up in faith but it’s probably just one community in the persons life.
 
Brettbat said:
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ConfusedLucy:
It’s fair to say fellowship is more important. Some of my non-Catholic friends say that to them church is a community of believers worshiping together. That doesn’t mean they treat going to church like going to the bingo.
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Yes. Christianity, as it was intended, should be a community, not a room full of strangers at Mass.
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Did you read my comment earlier?
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Anyone else's parish not give a flaming hoot whether they live or die? Liturgy and Sacraments
Yes, one would think that. Father received us, announced who we were, etc. It was a weekday Mass, with about 150 people attending. Unfortunately, not one person said a single word to us afterwards. I wish I were making it up, but no, not a word. Rather sad and discouraging. At the same time, I honestly have to roll my eyes at this. Attending Daily Mass is a privilege, not a right. When I attended Daily Mass I was doing it before work. I might have 10 seconds to say hi to people I knew …
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Mass is MASS. It can be a community but at it’s heart it’s the unbloody sacrifice of Jesus. Do you think that I should of been excluded from going to Daily Mass if I had to arrive just on time and leave when it ended without a lick of small talk and niceties?

What if that was the case for all 150 people at Mass that day. That they may have had business with each other but were otherwise busy and had no time to socialize?

Should they be barred from Mass becuase they can’t “be a community” and have to–by necessity–be strangers?
 
Thank-you. You conveyed exactly what I was trying to, but were much more eloquent.
 
Pup7 said:
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TC3033:
I can also say that your individual experience with “many” non-Catholics saying that 80%-90% of the reason we show up to church doesn’t necessarily equate to my position and upbringing the exception to the rule either.
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Having spent 40+ years of my life as a Protestant I can see where Tis_Bearself would say that, though. I grew up with a Baptist mom and a Catholic dad and became Methodist. I am now Catholic.

The atmosphere in a Catholic church and the Baptist/Methodist/nondenominational churches I’ve been to are literally like night and day. Even as a little kid going to Mass with my Dad was different than going to church with my maternal grandparents.

It does feel more “fellowship” oriented in the Protestant world. It always did to me, actually.

She’s not meaning to be offensive. Bear is likely the least offensive person on here! She just has a different perspective.
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Oh, I’m not offended in the least. Bear and share a common situation(mixed-marriage) so I think we really have some comradery there. She’s don a lot in teaching me that the way that non-Catholics are looked down upon in my area is much more the exception than the norm.

I don’t disagree that going to church in Catholic vs non-Catholic churches are much different. There is much more fellowship within the non-Catholic churches and I’ve noticed that any fellowship within the Catholic churches are the same handful of families, and we can’t really get in on any of it because I’m not Catholic.

I just disagree that saying that the only reason (let’s be fair, that’s what 80%-90% equates out to) many non-Catholics go to church is pretty inaccurate.
 
Catholic convert here. It is a Catholic problem.

I went to my first genuinely friendly Catholic Church yesterday. I met more people waiting in line for the bathroom after mass than I did in a whole year at my first parish. It wasn’t a “come do stuff for us” friendly, it was a “hey newcomer join the family” friendly. The church was a mess liturgically but the people were lovely.

I had been visiting a parish for a few months and they were not so friendly. Priests are great, people are very serious and closed. One lady said hi three months in and I was so happy I latched on. It was suggested that if I started cleaning the church people would be friendlier. I like church cleaning well enough but should I have to clean the church for people to be kind to me? I went to parish adult RE for about a month, nothing. My smiles were usually returned with stares or frowns. I got introduced to a couple people who acted nice enough but who obviously were out of their comfort zone and didn’t acknowledge me thereafter. I quit going and went back to where I am registered.

The church I am a parishioner at prides itself on being welcoming and friendly. They have hospitality ministers and people smile and are basically chummy if you fit the basic Parish demographic. But getting involved is an uphill battle. Of the dozen or so ministries we have, only two or three will even respond to a new parishioner. Even after being actively involved for three years I still couldn’t volunteer with our food pantry. Nor do I think people really care about me apart from a couple friends I have made. They would miss me if I disappeared or stopped doing what I do ( I do a lot!!) but haven’t exhibited any interest or care for my life - physical or spiritual.

Oddly enough most of the outreach and effort to recruit me has come from catholic groups, organizations and third order most of them are not parish based. Are there any non parish based catholic groups near you? (charitable organizations, religious orders with lay groups or lay volunteers, prayer groups, colleges, etc)
 
Brettbat said:
As someone who does NOT exhibit unkindness, lack of understanding, and lack of compassion, indeed one whose life’s work is rooted in compassion and kindness, I can and will point out the lack thereof.
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Hilarious. Ranks right up there “I’m proud of my humility.” Thanks for the chuckle.
 
Pretty much my parish.

I live on the wrong side of the tracks so to speak and have been given a cold shoulder since we joined in 1985. We stayed because it was the closest and for the kids.

Now in our old age, if we died, it wouldn’t be noticed, I’m sure of it.

Jim
 
That’s an awful long time and I guess it shows that giving it time doesn’t always work.
 
It was a long time, but it was still the best option for us, being it was the closest parish and it also had handicap access, which the other parished didn’t have.

We got involved through the years in various ministries, only to be eventually driven out of them.

Now the kids are adults, we’re just the older folks of the parish. But it hasn’t felt like our parish for a while now.

Jim
 
That is our fear. We haven’t been there a really long time, but seven months of being shut out of everything we try to join, and the closed atmosphere has not changed at all. It still feels like the first time we visited every time we go to Mass.

Perhaps the best thing is just to get out and find another parish, although it will entail a fairly long drive.
 
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