Anyone feel like they won't ever get married?

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chevalier said:
I sometimes just say, “I would very much like to, but it has not happened.” Sometimes I say the record holder put up with me for a year and four months. Sometimes I say I haven’t met the right person. Sometimes I stress the good sides of being single and the bad sides of a bad relationship.
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A year and four months, huh? My boyfriend and I are in our 16th month. He just asked for 2 days off to “think about things.” Says he is not sure about getting married. I am feeling really devastated right now. Nothing is terribly “wrong” with our relationship, we’ve just struggled a lot with wondering how compatible we are. I guess it’s getting to be too much for him. If you think to, say a prayer for us. 😦 😦
 
beckers said:
How do you answer people? I mean I don’t have a good reason except its not my time at the moment. 🤷
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The first few times I can be charitable, but after a while it only “rubs salt in the wounds”. So, I have a few possible comebacks (please remember I am a male so my male ego factors in to this as well):
  1. If it is an attractive single lady asking me that, I would ask her “Is that an offer”?
  2. If the person is not single, I would ask “Do have someone in mind?”
In another words, put THEM on the spot. But be prepared if the person says “Yes, I have a daughter/son”. (I was unprepared one time and froze).

Sometimes, though, if the person is just obnoxious (an example would be if someone actually came out and said “What’s wrong with you?” or “Are you gay?”), I would have no problem pointing out how ignorant they are and putting them in their place. People need to know that we are already hurting and that those remarks only make it worse. And I don’t know how it is for females, but for MALES, attacking a man’s sexuality constitutes “fighting words”.

And I am practicing my uppercut at the gym…
 
I am giving up on the hope of ever getting married…I am tired of fighting with everyone so that I can be happy with the person I love I am leaving him today…at least everyone else can be happy! :o
 
iluvmybabies said:
I am giving up on the hope of ever getting married…I am tired of fighting with everyone so that I can be happy with the person I love I am leaving him today…at least everyone else can be happy! :o
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If you are happy with him and there is only 10 months until your wedding, why leave?
 
valient_Lucy said:
You know, it recently occurred to me that I’ve never really felt like I would get married. I always felt there was something horribly wrong with me, and that no one would ever love me. Not every day, but it’s a recurring feeling and fear of mine.
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it is the same for me…i was married once but not through the church and then things never worked out…divorced single mom of 3 and i was hoping to get married to my newfound love but with all the red flags and complications that have been going on in this relationship with his mother it has really drained me and i am through with him…i dont think marriage is for me no matter how much i love him i just cant live with his family hating me…the way they do…
 
justlookingny said:
what about a sane blonde or brunette?!
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I dunno…its hard to find sane women of ANY hair color… 😉

Kidding aside…

…I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to get married.
I mean, I want to. And I think I have found a woman that may be up to it in a couple years.

But other things just keep popping up. She’s not ready to have me come over…Or rules, rules, rules…Yes…I’ve heard it all from everyone…You don’t have to say anything…

But the big thing is a career and all that. I have to have that stuff set up before I can even DATE her…Ridiculous. I mean, she’s worth it…but I’m just so darned impatient 😛

Anyways…its kind of weird to think about getting married. I want to, and I hope it happens sometime soon. I just hope that some catastrophy doesn’t interrupt my plans.
Story of my life…well…that and self pity… but you’ve noticed that, haven’t you 😉
😃
 
celticcrusader said:
you must remember when someone who is married wants you to get married it is a case of misery loves company:eek:
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My experience backs your comment up celticcrusader - I find that those who are not happily married are the ones who usually ask why I am single.

Also it is usually those whose marriages have broken up who assume that I am not married because that has happened to me.
 
celticcrusader said:
Not that there is anything wrong with B&B. but AHH, the redhead is in a league of thier own , I love that fiery personality only a true red head has
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I understand the red heads and their nature. I would help you out but your too late for my sister. She is engaged to be married in Feb. but lives up to ever standrd of a red head. Love her to death!

As far as any of us giving up on marriage. I agree. I am done with it for now. I am going to focus on God and school and hope that I can live up to one of my favorite phrases…“A woman’s heart must be buried so deeply in Christ that a man must seek Christ to find it”
 
Very good that you put God before school. as in todays readings at Mass a Godly woman is something to be treasured.
 
Belgarion said:
I dunno…its hard to find sane women of ANY hair color… 😉

Kidding aside…

…I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to get married.
I mean, I want to. And I think I have found a woman that may be up to it in a couple years.

But other things just keep popping up. She’s not ready to have me come over…Or rules, rules, rules…Yes…I’ve heard it all from everyone…You don’t have to say anything…

But the big thing is a career and all that. I have to have that stuff set up before I can even DATE her…Ridiculous. I mean, she’s worth it…but I’m just so darned impatient 😛

Anyways…its kind of weird to think about getting married. I want to, and I hope it happens sometime soon. I just hope that some catastrophy doesn’t interrupt my plans.
Story of my life…well…that and self pity… but you’ve noticed that, haven’t you 😉
😃
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You need a new hobby. 😉
 
beckers said:
I understand the red heads and their nature. I would help you out but your too late for my sister. She is engaged to be married in Feb. but lives up to ever standrd of a red head. Love her to death!

As far as any of us giving up on marriage. I agree. I am done with it for now. I am going to focus on God and school and hope that I can live up to one of my favorite phrases…“A woman’s heart must be buried so deeply in Christ that a man must seek Christ to find it”
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Yeah, my favorite quote on this subject is
Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you. 34 Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.
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I have come to it after getting tired of thinking about all these things.
 
crenfro said:
I felt this for many years, I even saw a girl in the hospital who’d attempted suicide over this very thing.

At 30 years old, several years after I gave up hope of ever finding someone, I got married. And I had a really difficult time of it. A lot of married people choose to have selective amnesia about what it was like when they were single and hand out easy platitudes. I don’t think married people, for the most part, are reliable sources for support in this matter.

I think the best thing to do is to look like mad for someone, using every avenue you can think of that’s not immoral or illegal, within the bounds of morality and true agapic love for another, all the while asking God if it is His will for you.

My husband isn’t Catholic, but we got married in the Catholic church and we’ve been married for many years, and, though my parents didn’t like my choice, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. In fact, my husband’s goodness is a large factor in what drew me back to the Catholic faith.
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My husband was atheist and communist leaning but he was good and wonderful. In fact, it is that which attracted him to communism which later attracted him to the Catholic Church. God has a sense of humour. He converted many years into our marriage - about 39 years!

I don’t think we should worry about not finding the right person (especially when one is in the early 20s). A novena to St Anthony may help!
🙂
 
hi!
i know this thread has been posted for like 7 months ago but i just signed up and i was asking our Lord to lead me to some posts i could connect with. well, yours definitely got my attention and i just had to connect. 😉 and reply at that.
i am just like the many who have posted about their worries and fears of being single and not finding the ‘one’ who has the same upbringing that i have with our Catholic faith. And even if i do meet someone, he would either be in a relationship already or someone who is just half-baked. It is rather hard to find one nowadays who could parallel your ideas and vision. But one thing is for sure, as one friend has told me, – Never give up your ideals! Don’t settle for anything less than what the One has intended for you. Sometimes, in our lack of patience, we tend to be blinded by what the world dictates. But if we realize that only in Him can we find the best and the fullness of what life can give, then, we only need to wait. For He brings with Him what our hearts truly desires.
And for those who have been blessed with the fruit of their patience, I honor you for not giving up your ideals. You serve as inspiration.
Praise be our God of Love!
 
beckers said:
I understand the red heads and their nature. I would help you out but your too late for my sister. She is engaged to be married in Feb. but lives up to ever standrd of a red head. Love her to death!

As far as any of us giving up on marriage. I agree. I am done with it for now. I am going to focus on God and school and hope that I can live up to one of my favorite phrases…“A woman’s heart must be buried so deeply in Christ that a man must seek Christ to find it”
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Haha, I have to take issue with the redhead comment. My family has 6 girls - only one is a redhead. While the redhead has a wild side, I’d say the brunettes are the most fiery… and although I’m blonde, I’m pretty intense! 🙂 Actually, I’d say ALL the girls in my family are pretty fiery - the redhead definitely doesn’t have a monopoly on that! 😃

In regards to focusing on God… yes, well you can never go wrong there. He will always lead us in the right direction, and sometimes my singleness has helped me see that reality more clearly than some of my married friends.
 
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