Anyone had a friend try to convert you?

[Kateri92]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

 

[Tommy999]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

My older sister tried to convert me to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, to no avail. She’s left Watchtower tracts and all that kind of stuff for me. I promptly tossed them out and told her I was not interested.

I think some people have good intentions – they are happy with their faith tradition and want others to experience the same joy they do, but I think others try to convert others as some kind of “spiritual scalp” through which they can gain God’s favor. At least I have gotten that impression from some groups.

Catholics and “high church” Protestants seem to be the least pushy, although sometimes even Catholics have radio programs called “Called to Communion” and episodes entitled, “Why Aren’t you Catholic” and stuff like that, although I find them to be more thoughtful and genuine about straightening out misconceptions from Non-Catholics about Catholicism and not trying to force their beliefs on anyone.

 

[the_phoenix]

Yep.
Was “friends” with a Jehovah’s Witness once.
Turns out they get “credit” for the amount of time they spend trying to convert someone … they document their hours and send the information to the elders of their Kingdom Hall.
Definitely makes you question what kind of “friendship” it was …

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

I guess she is young, and it seems she may Genuinly like you, but I’m assuming her parents have a large influence on her life , and her faith as well,I guess she may be having a tug of war within herself ,she likes you, she follows her parents will and that of her faith which wants to convert you away from YOUR Faith,
So that’s her tug of war,perhaps if you take her on a Picnic or maybe go to some private outing and let her know you want to discuss your friendship & Both Faiths and their influence on you both before this outing,she most likely will accept,
Then comes the tricky part,do some research and have a big think on how to approach issues ,maybe seek advice of you priest ,he may guide you,
Good luck,I think she likes you,

 

[Catholic_farmer]

When I was in college, I had bad experiences with Mormons. It seems that they sometimes try to convert at all costs, even if it means lying. It has made me wary.

One example was similar to yours (is there a playbook for this?). I was asked out on a date in college and agreed to meet the gentleman at a club to go country dancing. I knew all the local clubs. Some were decent, others, not so much. I went to the two that were not meat markets. They had older married couples there (sometimes in matching outfits) dancing together. Nice atmosphere in a relatively rural community. This Mormon gentleman said he wanted to take me to a ‘new’ club. I asked where it was. He said it didn’t have a name but he had the address and he described it. I agreed to meet him there (young women should never allow a man to drive until they know him well enough to trust him…just saying…). It was a gym and the dance was hosted by his LDS church. I gave it about 15 minutes and I was out of there. He didn’t make it to a second date.

As a little kid, I was bribed with candy to go with friends to their LDS church class. My mom had no idea where I was (they said she knew). I think I was eight years old? Creepy and not appropriate. Soured me off the LDS church when I was punished severely by my mom because my friends’ family lied to me. I was already in an abusive home. Thanks for making it worse.

Lying is what cults do. It’s creepy and should never be used to recruit. If someone tells you to use it, tell them they are wrong and explain why. Why would you want to represent your God as approving of dishonesty? I’m not picking on Mormons only. Any religion that uses such techniques needs to knock it off. It makes religious people look like sneaky creepers.

I still get people that are far too pushy. I would never try to trick someone into coming to my church. Even when my atheist family members visit, I am always upfront if my trip into town includes stopping by the parish. I never make them feel bad for opting out.

 

[cjb_914]

That’s unfortunate, but it’s hard to upkeep relationships as you enter into and pass through college. Another thing to keep in mind, it might have truly been honest and genuine happenstance. I know I spend a ton of time at Church, and so anyone who hangs out with me might get the same ‘he’s trying to convert me’ impression as I frequently am going to, or coming from church and it is really tempting to drop by. It’s really easy to lose an hour if you’re involved in the running of things and just intend to stop by, and if you’re really into it, it’s easy to forget not everyone shares your enthusiasm (especially for a teenager/young adult it’s easy to project your joy on everyone else). She may have even gotten the impression from you that you were trying to pull her away from her church.

It sounds like you’re a little hurt with her ending your friendship like that, and that’s understandable after nine years of friendship. I wouldn’t get too caught up on it though. But if you were made uncomfortable by it, I think you ought to have spoken up about it and essentially said “I am not comfortable coming with you to your church,” and “I feel like you’re manipulating me into coming with you.” Communication is always a good thing for any relationship, for example, she ought to have told you she was feeling like she was the one putting in all the work in your friendship before it got so bad she didn’t want to talk to you anymore.

 

[Reuben_J]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

Terrible is the word that comes to mind when I read this. Not that trying to convert is wrong but using friendship to do it is like playing with your feeling and that’s cruel.

I had no friends doing such things to me even when I was in college when my understanding of the faith was low and I missed many masses along the way. They might highlight the good aspect of their religions or they contrast them with Catholicism but there was no covert motive to convert me. We are stll friends long after college despite the differences in religions respectively .

Edit:
Maybe you sbould let her know it when you have to attend mass or not free due to religious commitment . … like ‘oh, this is a season of Lent for us so I have to miss on the meat today’, ‘sorry, I am fasting today’ or ‘sorry I can’t go out this evening as we are going for the station of the cross’ and if she asks why, then you can explain what it is. Usually if people know that you are keeping to your faith they would recognise your commitment to it and may have less motivation to convert you as you
are not a potential prospect.

 

[angell1]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

well, even as catholics, our job is to evangelize, it’s not wrong to invite people to church functions, or to attend mass, ETC… or just ot have genuine discussions.

that being said, it’s just rude to lie to people or drop friendships when they aren’t responding they way you want them to in regards to religion.

 

[Kateri92]

That’s unfortunate, but it’s hard to upkeep relationships as you enter into and pass through college. Another thing to keep in mind, it might have truly been honest and genuine happenstance. I know I spend a ton of time at Church, and so anyone who hangs out with me might get the same ‘he’s trying to convert me’ impression as I frequently am going to, or coming from church and it is really tempting to drop by. It’s really easy to lose an hour if you’re involved in the running of things and just intend to stop by, and if you’re really into it, it’s easy to forget not everyone shares your enthusiasm (especially for a teenager/young adult it’s easy to project your joy on everyone else). She may have even gotten the impression from you that you were trying to pull her away from her church.

It sounds like you’re a little hurt with her ending your friendship like that, and that’s understandable after nine years of friendship. I wouldn’t get too caught up on it though. But if you were made uncomfortable by it, I think you ought to have spoken up about it and essentially said “I am not comfortable coming with you to your church,” and “I feel like you’re manipulating me into coming with you.” Communication is always a good thing for any relationship, for example, she ought to have told you she was feeling like she was the one putting in all the work in your friendship before it got so bad she didn’t want to talk to you anymore.

oh I know she was deliberate about it. Because in the beginning I told her I didn’t want to go to her church. That is when she began being sneaky about it. Then she started lying. From what others have posted here it sounds like a tactic some use to pull people into their religion. The last instance that happened was when she needed help chaperoning a group of girls from her church to an event out of state for a day. the only reason I agreed was because she told me I didn’t have to be at the church for very long and we could spend the day at the mall while the girls were busy. well, it turned out she stayed there 3 hours and I stayed in the car. She was offended, but I had told her before I came that I was catholic and didn’t want to participate in her church activities because it usually means reading our of the book of mormon or something blatantly non-Catholic. I was sad she put me in that position because there was no way I was going to participate in mormonism. I guess, it was a blessing in disguise she dumped me.

 

[jane_doe]

Anyone had a friend try to convert you?

Yep. I’ve had lots of friends whom have tried to convert me: Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Muslims, Atheists, Evangelicals, non-demons, agnostics, calvinists, etc.

Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

If she is your friend, then just ask her whether or not she’s trying to convert you. If she’s not, you’re borrowing a bunch of worry needlessly. If she is, then you can say “no thank you” and both of you can move path this.

 

[jane_doe]

oh I know she was deliberate about it. Because in the beginning I told her I didn’t want to go to her church. That is when she began being sneaky about it. Then she started lying. From what others have posted here it sounds like a tactic some use to pull people into their religion. The last instance that happened was when she needed help chaperoning a group of girls from her church to an event out of state for a day. the only reason I agreed was because she told me I didn’t have to be at the church for very long and we could spend the day at the mall while the girls were busy. well, it turned out she stayed there 3 hours and I stayed in the car. She was offended, but I had told her before I came that I was catholic and didn’t want to participate in her church activities because it usually means reading our of the book of mormon or something blatantly non-Catholic. I was sad she put me in that position because there was no way I was going to participate in mormonism. I guess, it was a blessing in disguise she dumped me.

Kateri92, I have a story for you:
When I was in high school, I was in a youth group in which I didn’t get along. The other kids weren’t mean to me, just… we had no shared interests and didn’t like each other. I was very lonely at youth group. One week before Halloween we had a youth group activity planned: we were going to meet at the church and then go out on a hay ride, concluding with a bonfire and s’mores. … I love hay rides and bonfires and s’mores and really wanted to go… but I didn’t want to sit there all by myself alone. So I asked one of my friends from school to come with me, so I could have a friend to roast marshmallows with. My friend FLIPPED out at this invitation, paranoid that I was trying to force here to be Mormon… honestly it hurt really badly. I just wanted someone to roast marshmallows with, and my friend refused.

Now I don’t know if your friend’s motivations are. I have no way of knowing. But if she is your friend, they you owe her the honesty of asking her about it rather than just assuming she’s guilty of “tactics”.

 

[In_Hoc_Signo312]

Soured me off the LDS church when I was punished severely by my mom because my friends’ family lied to me.

Why on earth did they punish you because they lied to you? That doesn’t make any sense. They shouldn’t have punished you for something you couldn’t know.

 

[Reuben_J]

Why on earth did they punish you because they lied to you? That doesn’t make any sense. They shouldn’t have punished you for something you couldn’t know.

Such things happen with parents and family … not the most ideal but it happens. Sometimes parents just think you are in wrong company and get taken advantage of. Sometimes punishment can be due to our bad judgment, not necessarily its outcome though it can be seen like that outwardly.

 

[psalm90]

Yes I’ve had JWs on my porch and calling me on the phone. On the phone I immediately turn the tables and tell them they should join the Catholic Church.

I have evangelical relatives and they seem to NEVER have tried to convert me. Turns out, decades later, my aunt tells me she thinks all Catholics are condemned. So, that’s why she didn’t try to convert me. Problem is, of course, Christ said he wanted the gospel taught to all nations, so why didn’t they want to talk about it.

Well, in college, the instructors were atheists and said so and tried to “prove” their case that God is dead. So, I count that as an attempted conversion.

I worked with a guy who was Baptist, and we talked about religion on the job (we had to travel together). And, once, I really pushed the matter, asking him if he had been at the last supper, and Jesus said “this is my body” – would he have thrown it on the ground and stomped on it? He was grossly irritated by that question. I was really “in his face” about that. He ducked the question. AND, he had graduated from the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. So, he was really offended by the question. This was at work, and I backed off from him, because he wasn’t a match. I don’t think he was ready to defend himself. All I wanted to do was plant a seed in his mind.

My uncle (the same evangelical as above) likes to send me anti-Catholic stories. He was really excited about the DaVinci Code before it came out. He thought it would topple the Catholic Church.

I can be irritating to most people. I was godfather to my niece, and she’s a middle aged adult, and I still don’t let up on her.

I’m pressing the local priests and bishop to live up to canon law and the GIRM rules and to the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

My NEW parish pastor just reported in the Sunday bulletin that he had sent some money to the Salvation Army. I hadn’t read that yet, and before I did, I sent him a question about whether the SA supports their clients with contraception and abortion services, and I gave him a website that strong suggests that they do. Haven’t heard a word from him on that one.

 

[Horton]

Yes I have and now I am happily home in the Church created by Jesus Christ, the wonderful Catholic Church.

I’ve had several people try to convert me to the LDS. Never worked because I knew to ask the hard questions, the question none of the LDS want to answer or want to even think about.

When I converted to Catholicism I had a co-worker ask why I didn’t investigate the LDS. I told him truthfully that even prior to being Catholic I was a Christian (was a Protestant) and I knew Christianity was the only Truth, so thinking about being LDS was never on the table. This man literally screamed at me from across the table say he could prove the LDS was true. Interesting lunch break that was!

 

[Catholic_farmer]

What makes some Mormons so pushy? I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure not all act that way. Is there some sort of bonus for converting people? Does it raise their status in their temple? I ask because of something friends told me about different levels within the LDS church. You need to have a certain income level for some of the levels. I remember her telling me that. Do you need a number of recruits, too?

 

[jane_doe]

What makes some Mormons so pushy?

Matthew 28–
18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

That’s the drive. But a person shouldn’t be pushy about it (that would be flawed human impatience coming into play).

Is there some sort of bonus for converting people? Does it raise their status in their temple?

No and no.

I ask because of something friends told me about different levels within the LDS church.

I’m guessing he/she was talking about the different degrees of glory, which has nothing to do with sharing the Gospel. Stuff on that- lds.org/topics/kingdoms-of-glory?lang=eng

You need to have a certain income level for some of the levels. I remember her telling me that. Do you need a number of recruits, too?

No and no.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

Mormons do stuff at their church a few days a week and they are used to their Mormon friends going from non-church activities to church activities. It is the normal flow of their lives. So not necessarily trying to convert you, but always hoping you will.

Unless you’ve been given a Book of Mormon (or 2 or 3 or 4) or Mormon missionaries have showed up at your door asking for you, I’d say no, your friend is just being a Mormon.

Who knows why she isn’t forthcoming. Could be she wants to go shopping with you and doesn’t want you to say no to shopping. Mormons are really pressured by their community to attend all,their various church functions. Sounds like she isn’t going to try to do both any longer.

 

[Reuben_J]

What makes some Mormons so pushy? I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure not all act that way. Is there some sort of bonus for converting people? Does it raise their status in their temple? I ask because of something friends told me about different levels within the LDS church. You need to have a certain income level for some of the levels. I remember her telling me that. Do you need a number of recruits, too?

Mormons are like that … they go around your neighbourhood and knock on your houses . Frankly sometimes it can be downright irritating . … personally I would still entertain them but my wife would rather me not to. We are Catholics, we certainly are not interested in Mormonism but the ones that came to my house were oblivious to that.

But using friendship to harass others in their proselytising as in the case of OP is just gone too far.

 

[Darryl_B]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

The woman of my dreams, who has been my wife for over 20 years, my one and only true love, is currently in a huge arm-wrestle with me. She is trying to convert me back to protestantism, I am trying to convert her to the Catholic Church.

Words cannot explain the words.

Having said that, your friend is using a very common technique, but I am not sure conversion is the forefront.