Anyone had a friend try to convert you?

[Wannano]

My mother-in-law was friends with a Catholic lady before she died. I met this lady one time and briefly talked about churches. After explaining that the Catholic Church was the only one true church she said “now that I have informed you of that truth, you are no longer innocent and are responsible so what are you going to do about it” and then she just stared at me waiting for my response. I took it as an effort to convert me?!

 

[Kateri92]

My mother-in-law was friends with a Catholic lady before she died. I met this lady one time and briefly talked about churches. After explaining that the Catholic Church was the only one true church she said “now that I have informed you of that truth, you are no longer innocent and are responsible so what are you going to do about it” and then she just stared at me waiting for my response. I took it as an effort to convert me?!

This is probably more of a way to make herself not feel guilty. She probably did not have a good faith formation and thought she had to do that to not feel responsible for your actions. I like what St. francis said “Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words.”

I think if she had been informed better, the best way to have a real impact of anyone is to love them genuinely. This is the best preaching there is. And of course sharing with you what she loves about the church if fine. But I don’t agree with what she did. That was weird.

 

[Wannano]

This is probably more of a way to make herself not feel guilty. She probably did not have a good faith formation and thought she had to do that to not feel responsible for your actions. I like what St. francis said “Preach the gospel always, if necessary use words.”

I think if she had been informed better, the best way to have a real impact of anyone is to love them genuinely. This is the best preaching there is. And of course sharing with you what she loves about the church if fine. But I don’t agree with what she did. That was weird.

She is actually a very nice lady and quite involved in the Church. I think it was the “invincibly ignorant” thought that guided her. She felt I think, that she had witnessed to me and that now the onus was on me. I was not offended and just smiled at her and went on to different conversation. We are friendly when we meet.

 

[Kateri92]

Kateri92, I have a story for you:
When I was in high school, I was in a youth group in which I didn’t get along. The other kids weren’t mean to me, just… we had no shared interests and didn’t like each other. I was very lonely at youth group. One week before Halloween we had a youth group activity planned: we were going to meet at the church and then go out on a hay ride, concluding with a bonfire and s’mores. … I love hay rides and bonfires and s’mores and really wanted to go… but I didn’t want to sit there all by myself alone. So I asked one of my friends from school to come with me, so I could have a friend to roast marshmallows with. My friend FLIPPED out at this invitation, paranoid that I was trying to force here to be Mormon… honestly it hurt really badly. I just wanted someone to roast marshmallows with, and my friend refused.

Now I don’t know if your friend’s motivations are. I have no way of knowing. But if she is your friend, they you owe her the honesty of asking her about it rather than just assuming she’s guilty of “tactics”.

Well, it sounds like you are a nice and honest person. I wouldn’t mind being friends with you for that reason. I’m not prejudice of other people from different backgrounds. But when someone lies to me not once but a thousand times, that’s when my patience runs thin. And the fact she was lying to get me to her church does not look good on the LDS church. Plus her dad was a Bishop who was always preaching to me. And by the way, I have been the subject of friends (atheists) dumping me because of my religion. I know it hurts. It happened back in high school.

 

[jane_doe]

Well, it sounds like you are a nice and honest person. I wouldn’t mind being friends with you for that reason. I’m not prejudice of other people from different backgrounds. But when someone lies to me not once but a thousand times, that’s when my patience runs thin.

Obviously I don’t know if she was lying or if there was something else going on. But if there was a lie, there’s no excuse for that in any circumstance. That is NOT part of living the LDS faith.

And by the way, I have been the subject of friends (atheists) dumping me because of my religion. I know it hurts. It happened back in high school.

I know it hurts to have someone dumping on your faith. Trust me, I’ve been there. Also been when people when people (however well intentioned) do horribly orchestrated evangelizing attempts. A particular example when another friend invited me to this church convention so that the speaker to go on specifically about how people of my faith were getting this fire-and-brimstone fate when the speaker hadn’t even bothered to get the facts straight about my beliefs. It was annoying… but kind of funny.

 

[zaffiroborant]

I know it hurts to have someone dumping on your faith. Trust me, I’ve been there. Also been when people when people (however well intentioned) do horribly orchestrated evangelizing attempts. A particular example when another friend invited me to this church convention so that the speaker to go on specifically about how people of my faith were getting this fire-and-brimstone fate when the speaker hadn’t even bothered to get the facts straight about my beliefs. It was annoying… but kind of funny.

Or like when my cousins kids were invited over to a school friends house for dinner and to study and maybe play some games only later it was discovered that it always included prayer and a “family lesson” on The Restoration, or The Priesthood, or The Temple. During the summer finding missionaries teaching her kids when she thought they were being kids and watching a movie wasn’t annoying or funny. It destroyed trust.

 

[Lenten_ashes]

I had a LDS friend /co worker in my late teens. He had given me a Book of Mormon and one time he came to the house and my fundamentalist mother stopped him at the front porch and flung his book of Mormon into a empty field across the street. She had some unflattering words for him and his religion lol.

Anyway, I was agnostic then and remained that way for another 10 years after that.

 

[KarenAnne]

What makes some Mormons so pushy? I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure not all act that way. Is there some sort of bonus for converting people? Does it raise their status in their temple? I ask because of something friends told me about different levels within the LDS church. You need to have a certain income level for some of the levels. I remember her telling me that. Do you need a number of recruits, too?

Answers:

1. probably the same thing that makes some Catholics so pushy…or JW so pushy…or Jews…or Methodists…Or atheists.In other words: Some People are just pushy people - no matter what they believe.
2. No there is not some sort of bonus for converting people
3. No it does not raise their status in the temple
4. No you do not need a number of recruits
5. No you do not need a certain income level for some levels…it’s NOT about money

 

[KarenAnne]

Mormons are like that … they go around your neighbourhood and knock on your houses . Frankly sometimes it can be downright irritating . … personally I would still entertain them but my wife would rather me not to. We are Catholics, we certainly are not interested in Mormonism but the ones that came to my house were oblivious to that.

But using friendship to harass others in their proselytising as in the case of OP is just gone too far.

Mormons are not “like that”…Only the missionaries go door to door - unless you CHOOSE to be a missionary you do not, nor are you expected to and certainly not required to go door to door…

 

[Kateri92]

I had a LDS friend /co worker in my late teens. He had given me a Book of Mormon and one time he came to the house and my fundamentalist mother stopped him at the front porch and flung his book of Mormon into a empty field across the street. She had some unflattering words for him and his religion lol.

Anyway, I was agnostic then and remained that way for another 10 years after that.

Reminds me when I found the book of mormon in my closet after she dumped me. Makes me think she put it there on purpose without telling me.

 

[Horton]

Mormons are not “like that”…Only the missionaries go door to door - unless you CHOOSE to be a missionary you do not, nor are you expected to and certainly not required to go door to door…

They may not all go door to door, but yes, Mormons make every attempt to proselytize and convert friends, co workers, neighbors, and anyone they come in contact with. They will use children in a family to do so without any thought to what the parents may approve of.

And yes I do know this is a reality. I’ve lived in several predominantly LDS communities in different states and have had the same experience.

 

[Kateri92]

Mormons are not “like that”…Only the missionaries go door to door - unless you CHOOSE to be a missionary you do not, nor are you expected to and certainly not required to go door to door…

My friend said that too despite her relentless attempts at converting me. You know, making me read the book of mormon with her family, convincing me to be a part of the nativity play at her church. Begging me to go to her mormon college with her. The list goes on and on. and from who I met at her church, I can say LDS people ARE like that and only apathetic mormons don’t care if people know about their faith. I use to defend mormons because I fell for those lies hook, line and sinker. Now, I know better. I know that I can’t trust a person who cannot respect your boundaries and continues to disrespect your bounties by lying to your face and unfortunately that means a vast amount of people in the mormon church. I was on the inside for 9 years, I know what I’m talking about. And its really sad.

 

[jane_doe]

My friend said that too despite her relentless attempts at converting me. You know, making me read the book of mormon with her family, convincing me to be a part of the nativity play at her church. Begging me to go to her mormon college with her. The list goes on and on. and from who I met at her church, I can say LDS people ARE like that and only apathetic mormons don’t care if people know about their faith. I use to defend mormons because I fell for those lies hook, line and sinker. Now, I know better. I know that I can’t trust a person who cannot respect your boundaries and continues to disrespect your bounties by lying to your face and unfortunately that means a vast amount of people in the mormon church. I was on the inside for 9 years, I know what I’m talking about. And its really sad.

Careful about stereotyping 15+ million people internationally based on 1 person you new (or a few).

 

[Horton]

My friend said that too despite her relentless attempts at converting me. You know, making me read the book of mormon with her family, convincing me to be a part of the nativity play at her church. Begging me to go to her mormon college with her. The list goes on and on. and from who I met at her church, I can say LDS people ARE like that and only apathetic mormons don’t care if people know about their faith. I use to defend mormons because I fell for those lies hook, line and sinker. Now, I know better. I know that I can’t trust a person who cannot respect your boundaries and continues to disrespect your bounties by lying to your face and unfortunately that means a vast amount of people in the mormon church. I was on the inside for 9 years, I know what I’m talking about. And its really sad.

Careful about stereotyping 15+ million people internationally based on 1 person you new (or a few).

Given that many of us on this thread have had similar experiences regarding the proselytizing efforts of the LDS it’s more than just stereotyping. Speaking with other non-LDS I can draw a conclusion that this effort is more the norm than not.

 

[Catholic_farmer]

I am confused. A friend of mine converted to LDS for her husband. They were active for years (we lived in different states so I didn’t know her well during that time). She moved near me recently and told me they had left LDS because her husband is disabled and she is the breadwinner. Their income dropped when he stopped working. They told him that he could not go over a certain priest ‘rank’ (my word) since he wasn’t working. This is why they left, BTW. They were very discouraged because it was about money and her job didn’t seem to matter, in their opinion. It all sounds very much like money was a big deal (the tithing requirements are strict, but they were tithing like they were supposed to, she said). Plus, the sexist aspect.

 

[The_Old_Maid]

Do the Left Behind books count? I attended multiple denominations as a child because the relatives did not agree. As a child, I went. As an adult, when those books were pressed toward me, I declined. Didn’t make me a lot of friends in that branch of the family tree.

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

I was friend with a Mormon girl since I was in 7th grade. We were friends for 9 years before she told me I didn’t do enough for our friendship and stopped talking to me. I had a feeling the entire time she was trying to convert me. It got really awful when she started lying to me. She would say she is going shopping and if I want to come. Id say sure but ask if she is going to her church in the same outing. She would say no or that she would be quick and then end up staying there for an hour at least at her church. The thing that gets me is that she knew how catholic I am! Has something like this happened to others? How did you deal with it? Should have I been more upfront with her and told her to back off?

Not friends, but several Protestant peers have tried.

I would be open with your concerns; say something along the lines of “it’s nice that you care so deeply about my salvation, but I’ve made a commitment and I intend to keep it.”

 

[RebeccaJ]

My friend said that too despite her relentless attempts at converting me. You know, making me read the book of mormon with her family, convincing me to be a part of the nativity play at her church. Begging me to go to her mormon college with her. The list goes on and on. and from who I met at her church, I can say LDS people ARE like that and only apathetic mormons don’t care if people know about their faith. I use to defend mormons because I fell for those lies hook, line and sinker. Now, I know better. I know that I can’t trust a person who cannot respect your boundaries and continues to disrespect your bounties by lying to your face and unfortunately that means a vast amount of people in the mormon church. I was on the inside for 9 years, I know what I’m talking about. And its really sad.

Forgive her, and pray for her.

My entire family are LDS, and they can be exasperating at times, in the boundary areas. So you learn to kindly, not give them the opportunities to mess up your life. If your friend can’t love and care about you without trying to screw up your life, then it is she who has the problem. Don’t burn the bridge. Just lett it go and maybe someday you’ll met again and she’ll have worked out how,to be a human among those who do not believe as she does, and you can give her a second chance.

Real story, similar scenario with a friend from my childhood years into my 20s, who I did not hear from for 30 years. She found me on Facebook, and was a silent friend there until one day she sends me a PM, talking about her son who she said reminded her of a boyfriend she dated when we were in high school. Which, I thought was weird, but maybe thought she was the just trying to strike up a conversation. Then she asks me why I’m not Mormon anymore, and not wanting to go into thirty years of my life with her, I just said the simple conclusion, that I no longer believe what the Mormon church teaches. She then tells me she knows that all I need to do is go confess my sins to a Mormon bishop and the I’ll believe again.

May sound harsh but I deleted her from my Facebook. The one and only time I have done that. It was the boundary thing. Not hearing from her for thirty years and when I do the only thing she cares about is if I’m Mormon or not. Don’t need it as I already have a hundred other friends and family who have stayed in contact with me my whole life, who can and do bother me anytime I see them about being Mormon or not!

So no, it is not a stereotype, it is how almost all Mormons are, and a lot of the times it is so automatic to them they don’t know how they are coming across to others. It takes a ton of patience to maintain relationships with Mormons when you aren’t one, and even more when you were once Mormon. But if you hold people dear to you and love them, the constant boundary battle is a condition of the relationship, that must be recognized and dealt with. It is what it is. Some people I just can’t take on one more boundary battle for them, and so I don’t seek to maintain the relationship.