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ErikaSantiago
Guest
I am not even sure if I am in the right forum for this post. but her it goes:
For some background info, in a nutshell, I got pregnant YOUNG, married, husband left me, he is Baptist I am Catholic, We never married in any Christian Church, no anullment was ever needed. We agreed to 50/50 Joint cust. I met my now husband through a Young adult Catholic Bible Study =) We married, but not in the church … … don’t ask why that’s another story & it had nothing to do with the church either. anyway- We decided to take life as it comes, , no birth control, had a Honeymoon baby. =) had to quit work for medical reasons, finances snowballed, almost lost house,Cars, credit cards & loans not being paid. elect being cut off. couldn’t afford to feed our family. Hubby decided to join the military. had a “Family meeting” about this with my ex. I KNEW he was not going to allow our son to go with us full time not without starting a custody fight, & we had no money for a fight. so I gave him custody. at that point he could better provide for our son than I could. I had to do what was best for my son, not me. hardest decision of my life. We have been to Japan & now in GA. it has been A LONG 5 YEARS! !!! VERY LONG.
We have been through some “Parental Alienation” where my son had been told I am not his biological mother. we have been to court I only had a strong enough case to fight for “Visitation” courts sided with me, ex still tried to deny me my “summers” went back to court & I won again. but not custody. Last summer my son proclaimed he felt he was more “Catholic” than “Baptist” because his dad never attends church & what little bit he is with me he goes to our church. plus he knew he had been baptized as a baby. anyway- he goes back to his dad’s for the school year. in ONE YEAR . … . . .One school year. ALL Of a sudden . … my ex starts to go to church all the time, volunteering & etc . now my son just announced last week he is being “Baptized” in his dad’s church, his dad was there when this announcement was made & you should have seen the “smuggness” look on his face. My ex has never been a “fan” of the Catholic faith. as I am sure I do not have to tell you. We went on a Family Vacation to Disney just got back a few days ago. & my son felt the need to correct us. I had mentioned we should go to “Mary Queen of the Universe Catholic Church” which is right by Disney & is a Catholic church for Tourists in the area. well . . . he had made the statement in the most cocky, condescending tone that it was “WRONG” that’s supposed to be “KING”. I found myself defending Mary & that aspect of the church to my son. to boot later in the conversation . . he felt the need to “educate us” as though we are stupid, that Jesus is God in flesh form, as if we didn’t know that. I just felt like he was treating us “less than” because we are “Catholic”. even my husband interpreted it the same way. it wasn’t just me. I was more or less raised in both denominations my mother is a Baptist preacher’s daughter, later converted, so this DOES bother me. my son treating me “less than” & I KNOW where its coming from too.
We are going to court after the summer is over to have a new over hauled parenting plan set in place. I am currently torn between custody or 50/50 every other school year & when he is with me put him in Catholic school & also CCD. I am sure with our extenuating circumstance the church would allow me to do that. The family laws in FL are VERY VERY tricky. based on what I have read, legally speaking . . its looking more torwards 50/50. In the mean time I need PRAYER & encouragement.
to boot, my ex does not honor our court papers. its as though there is just NO regard for his son’s relationship with this mother. that’s nothing new to us. I mean gosh, they have told me over email in over the phone how I am not his mother & how I do nothing for him. I guess sending mail & packages is not enough. & its not my fault 90% of the time my calls do not get answered nor returned. I feel SOOO Invisible. to the point I have asked God why do I exsist? & now my younger son who is 5 is starting to really take notice of whats going on & it is affecting him too.
We are trying to get stationed in Tampa but we have been denied twice already. We are trying again. in the mean time. my husband got an email at work letting him know that we may get orders to go back overseas. which is great. … traveling, who knows maybe we will get Italy or Germany, but I just can’t handle that right now. not until we get better resolution to our Family Life. any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless
Erika.
For some background info, in a nutshell, I got pregnant YOUNG, married, husband left me, he is Baptist I am Catholic, We never married in any Christian Church, no anullment was ever needed. We agreed to 50/50 Joint cust. I met my now husband through a Young adult Catholic Bible Study =) We married, but not in the church … … don’t ask why that’s another story & it had nothing to do with the church either. anyway- We decided to take life as it comes, , no birth control, had a Honeymoon baby. =) had to quit work for medical reasons, finances snowballed, almost lost house,Cars, credit cards & loans not being paid. elect being cut off. couldn’t afford to feed our family. Hubby decided to join the military. had a “Family meeting” about this with my ex. I KNEW he was not going to allow our son to go with us full time not without starting a custody fight, & we had no money for a fight. so I gave him custody. at that point he could better provide for our son than I could. I had to do what was best for my son, not me. hardest decision of my life. We have been to Japan & now in GA. it has been A LONG 5 YEARS! !!! VERY LONG.
We have been through some “Parental Alienation” where my son had been told I am not his biological mother. we have been to court I only had a strong enough case to fight for “Visitation” courts sided with me, ex still tried to deny me my “summers” went back to court & I won again. but not custody. Last summer my son proclaimed he felt he was more “Catholic” than “Baptist” because his dad never attends church & what little bit he is with me he goes to our church. plus he knew he had been baptized as a baby. anyway- he goes back to his dad’s for the school year. in ONE YEAR . … . . .One school year. ALL Of a sudden . … my ex starts to go to church all the time, volunteering & etc . now my son just announced last week he is being “Baptized” in his dad’s church, his dad was there when this announcement was made & you should have seen the “smuggness” look on his face. My ex has never been a “fan” of the Catholic faith. as I am sure I do not have to tell you. We went on a Family Vacation to Disney just got back a few days ago. & my son felt the need to correct us. I had mentioned we should go to “Mary Queen of the Universe Catholic Church” which is right by Disney & is a Catholic church for Tourists in the area. well . . . he had made the statement in the most cocky, condescending tone that it was “WRONG” that’s supposed to be “KING”. I found myself defending Mary & that aspect of the church to my son. to boot later in the conversation . . he felt the need to “educate us” as though we are stupid, that Jesus is God in flesh form, as if we didn’t know that. I just felt like he was treating us “less than” because we are “Catholic”. even my husband interpreted it the same way. it wasn’t just me. I was more or less raised in both denominations my mother is a Baptist preacher’s daughter, later converted, so this DOES bother me. my son treating me “less than” & I KNOW where its coming from too.
We are going to court after the summer is over to have a new over hauled parenting plan set in place. I am currently torn between custody or 50/50 every other school year & when he is with me put him in Catholic school & also CCD. I am sure with our extenuating circumstance the church would allow me to do that. The family laws in FL are VERY VERY tricky. based on what I have read, legally speaking . . its looking more torwards 50/50. In the mean time I need PRAYER & encouragement.
to boot, my ex does not honor our court papers. its as though there is just NO regard for his son’s relationship with this mother. that’s nothing new to us. I mean gosh, they have told me over email in over the phone how I am not his mother & how I do nothing for him. I guess sending mail & packages is not enough. & its not my fault 90% of the time my calls do not get answered nor returned. I feel SOOO Invisible. to the point I have asked God why do I exsist? & now my younger son who is 5 is starting to really take notice of whats going on & it is affecting him too.
We are trying to get stationed in Tampa but we have been denied twice already. We are trying again. in the mean time. my husband got an email at work letting him know that we may get orders to go back overseas. which is great. … traveling, who knows maybe we will get Italy or Germany, but I just can’t handle that right now. not until we get better resolution to our Family Life. any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless
Erika.
