Anyone on one Teaching income?

[darthsmozers]

You absolutely do NOT come off as selfish. I hope my daugther one day marries someone as committed to the faith and family as you are.

I have a little bit of (name removed by moderator)ut for you based on our experience. I used to be a teacher. You said "we do expect a family and we would prefer her caring for any child who may come along rather than paying for daycare, if we could help it… " If you feel this way now before a child is born, you will feel one hundred or one thousand times more that way once you hold your child in your arms. I was home for our first and third child, but our second child was in daycare for one school year. It was torture. Do whatever you need to do to keep your wife from having to basically abandon her child.

My husband works at a job that makes enough now for me to stay home. He basically gave up his dream (for now) of starting his own business in favor of staying with the more secure, higher salary. He did what he needed to do to get a raise and promotion, so that I could stay home after my maternity leave for our third child. I am eternally grateful to him for this, and our lives are vastly improved in every way! The entire family is exponentially happier than we were when I had to work to make ends meet.

Also, I would like to mention that as a dedicated Catholic it would be extraordinarily difficult to deal with the secular culture in public schools. I think men might have a better time with it. But if I ever go back to teaching, I would only teach in a Catholic school. It is really difficult to be an authority figure in a system where many of the adults act like children, God cannot be mentioned, and the rules that exist are enforced sporadically or not at all.

It is harder to think long term when you are first starting out. But consider this: You could work at the OK job with the better income for a number of years, continuing with the excellent habit of saving that you already have. You could do this with the goal in mind that when you have a stable foundation built and the kids you will have are a bit older, you will switch over to teaching. A number of people do this as a second career when they are in their forties or fifties. Perhaps you could do it sooner if you planned it right.

It’s not her dream or your dream. It’s “our dream”. When you have kids, what is best for them becomes the situation in which you feel God’s blessings the most. There may also be a third path God has planned for you, such as opening an Earth Science summer camp for kids–who knows?

Of course, as others have mentioned praying for guidance is always wise!

What a wise and caring response. Thank you so very much! you’re right, thinking for the best of the family is really my first calling, and the trouble is figuring out what that is (especially ahead of time, before we’re married, before children come…)

i guess its a big deal because its not a light decision. teaching would be 3 years of continuing my education (although paid for by my work) and then taking a pay cut 3 years from now, after my current salary has already gone up a bit from where it is now. again, crunching the numbers just seems really tricky in that scenario.

i also like your advice about keeping the goal in mind in case an opportunity presents itself later. thats good! i am only 25 after all … i’ll hopefully have a lot of life to live yet!

i’d say that perhaps the secular culture would actually be a draw. what better way to spread the Good News, even if not explicitly, than by acting right in front of others? It would surely be challenging, facing so many other facets of the world. But perhaps thats the point?

Many great thoughts to chew on. Thank you And God bless your family, and your husband for doing what he does for you.

 

[puzzleannie]

not since DH’s last year of teaching when we qualified for food stamps on his income. by the next year he was into computers, took a pay cut actually, but raises and promotions quadrupled his salary in 4 yrs. and we were finally able to save, to buy a car, to pay for Catholic school, and to pay for necessary medical care for our son.

 

[darthsmozers]

not since DH’s last year of teaching when we qualified for food stamps on his income. by the next year he was into computers, took a pay cut actually, but raises and promotions quadrupled his salary in 4 yrs. and we were finally able to save, to buy a car, to pay for Catholic school, and to pay for necessary medical care for our son.

How wonderful to hear how things worked out!

 

[Brigadoon]

My DH makes less than a teacher. We do fine. I am frugal by nature and nurture I guess.

 

[graceandglory]

My goodness, I just have to disagree with our dear graceandglory.

I am an elementary music teacher** in my 12th year** of teaching.

I think that makes a huge difference.

Could you support a stay-at-home mom and bringing children into the world on your income back when you were a first yr teacher? Did you have your Masters degree before you got married? Do you have college debt to pay off?

You don’t have to answer. It’s just not doable in the part of the country where I live. And that is what I shared with the original poster. And just like the pioneers of the olden days (like a hundred yrs ago) had to move in order to have a family life and settle down, a teacher i**n my part of the country **would have to do the same.

 

[graceandglory]

You offer some very great advice. I really appreciate the feedback!

We try to follow many of them. I have a 9 year old car that is long paid off. Aside from the fading headlight and bumper, the ceiling fabric falling in, and other cosmetic issues, it runs OK and will hopefully last us some time! I put about $150 aside each month for the “save the car” fund in case emergency repairs are ever necessary.

My fiance is a coupon feind, and now I am getting that way too. We have lived at our parents’ homes since we both graduated college, and thus have saved a sizeable amount. Enough to either pay off 1/3 of a home in the less expensive, possible move location and still have a decent savings, or enough for a small downpayment here in Northern VA.

We don’t intend to have cable TV due to the trash that’s on it. (I wish one could order cable station by station, and only have the news, Discovery Channel, Weather, and one or two others… alas…) So while we won’t have cable, we do intend to have a sizeable DVD collection of TV shows and movies. I’d love for our kids to grow up on the likes of Saved by the Bell, Ghostbusters, Mr. Rogers, and the like, like we did. With no commercials. (Has anyone seen ABC Family lately? They sure push the envelope…)

She would ideally like a small town, space for a garden, a home to call ours for a long time, room to grow, and reliant on one income so she can stay home like her mother and grandmother did. If we move to this spot and I take the “OK job”, we could pay off 1/3 of the house up front, have a home with 3 bed with the option of finishing the basement or attic space, be in a walkable, quaint town, have a small yard, be able to walk to Mass, and be OK with one income, everything she dreams of… The sacrifice would be not pursuing my “dream job” which is teaching Earth Science because of my love for nature, geography, and how God creation, the universe, works. But I do feel that perhaps while it would be possible here, she would have to sacrifice the image of how to live in favor of a stressfull area she doesn’t like too much, a small apartment, no yard, driving to and fro with nowhere within walking distance, in other words, extremely densified suburbia. One will sacrifice regardless of which way we choose. And because we will strive to follow Church teaching regarding marriage, children, NFP, responsibility, etc, we do expect a family and we would prefer her caring for any child who may come along rather than paying for daycare, if we could help it… So perhaps my sacrifice is the one that should be made, for the better of the family… Ah, its so hard to decide… because both of our dreams are important, and its a matter of analyzing which way to go. She wants me to be happy with my job as i’ll be bringing in the income, but I want her to have the atmosphere she wants as she will be the one home with children eventually.

Ah, its tough, and the calendar is ticking. My resume is out to a possible lead to the new location. But the opportunity may pass if we don’t act on it, so we’ll be waiting to see if that goes through while apartment hunting locally just in case. At some point, we’ll have to make a choice. I’ve spent too much time analyzing this, and I need to learn to make a decision. Ahh, to be a melancholic…

I pray I don’t come off as selfish. Only trying to make the best decision for us and our future family.

Dear Darthsmozers,

I think you sound like you will make a wonderful husband. I think that you two are discussing all the important matters and will be successful whatever you decide.
***“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.” ***

 

[darthsmozers]

Dear Darthsmozers,

I think you sound like you will make a wonderful husband. I think that you two are discussing all the important matters and will be successful whatever you decide.
***“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.” ***

Thank you so much

 

[Gertabelle]

One last thing to add here:

I wouldn’t count too much on the idea that “I could always go into teaching later on in life.” If you had your first child at 27 and then had several more over the next ten years, you would either have to take a MAJOR pay cut as your children enter their school years, or wait until you’re about, what, 50-something (?) before you might be able and willing to take the pay cut without feeling you were jeopardizing your family’s stability.

It saddens me that so many people here equated the ministerial vocation of teaching as being less important that supporting your family. In many, many, many parts of the country you wouldn’t have to make a choice between the two. But if your fiance has her heart set on a particular town (and the lifestyle you describe could be had in hundreds of small town across the country), then you have already set your priority, and teaching probably is out of the question.

Keep on praying and having these essential and beautiful conversations with your beloved. Together you will find your way. As another poster said, God may use your love of teaching and working with children in an unexpected way.

By the way, you said it would take you three years to complete your teaching license. If you do decide to follow that route, I highly recommend getting your masters degree at the same time. I’ve never heard of a university that didn’t offer that option. It will save you two more years of time and tuition if you do the two together, and it probably won’t cost you any extra. The pay difference is enormous. But then, you’ve probably already done this research.

God bless you.
Gertie

 

[darthsmozers]

One last thing to add here:

I wouldn’t count too much on the idea that “I could always go into teaching later on in life.” If you had your first child at 27 and then had several more over the next ten years, you would either have to take a MAJOR pay cut as your children enter their school years, or wait until you’re about, what, 50-something (?) before you might be able and willing to take the pay cut without feeling you were jeopardizing your family’s stability.

It saddens me that so many people here equated the ministerial vocation of teaching as being less important that supporting your family. In many, many, many parts of the country you wouldn’t have to make a choice between the two. But if your fiance has her heart set on a particular town (and the lifestyle you describe could be had in hundreds of small town across the country), then you have already set your priority, and teaching probably is out of the question.

Keep on praying and having these essential and beautiful conversations with your beloved. Together you will find your way. As another poster said, God may use your love of teaching and working with children in an unexpected way.

By the way, you said it would take you three years to complete your teaching license. If you do decide to follow that route, I highly recommend getting your masters degree at the same time. I’ve never heard of a university that didn’t offer that option. It will save you two more years of time and tuition if you do the two together, and it probably won’t cost you any extra. The pay difference is enormous. But then, you’ve probably already done this research.

God bless you.
Gertie

Thank you for some very good pointers You’re right, the pay cut now would be better than the pay cut later…

I have been crunching numbers a lot lately. If we bought the home we want, which is $125k, and we put down $50k and mortgaged $75k, and I took the other job and started at $45,000, our monthly + gasoline + food + utilities + insurances + the other essentials come out to just barely getting by, if making it at all. If I taught in said area, the income would only be $33,000. That does not seem able to support a young and potentially (hopefully) growing family.

Of course this is all assuming we get pregnant in the first year, hence assuming one income. Perhaps we won’t get pregnant for 2 years. Or perhaps we’ll get pregnant right away. We don’t know. But if we did have 2 incomes for one year, that would be a great benefit That would allow more money to go into the bank so that when a child does arrive, there are no financial burdens as we’d have a cushion.

Of course, We could stay put and I could go back to my alma mater and get my license in 3 years, and then teach for one or two years, then relocate to the town we want and get an inexpensive home with much more money in the bank, resulting in an even lower mortgage and be OK on teaching salary with one income.

Ah many thoughts.

We sat down today and plotted out some options on paper. I feel most of the desperation is the fact that we have to decide to relocate or not now as our wedding is approaching and I will shortly have an offer from this job. if they offer this other job, we’ll have to decide to go for it and make the move, or stay put for now. if i stay put for now, i could choose to either stay with my current job for some time, or pursue the teaching license by beginning to go back to school.

Ah now i am talking to myself.

So let me just say the varying insights around here have been very helpful and thought-provoking. I really do enjoy poking my head in here from time to time, and I am glad I am able to get such helpful advice from so many

May God bless you all.

 

[ChristineML]

Is anyone out there a teacher?
Are you the sole breadwinner in your family?

If so, might you be able to reply here and tell me what area of the country you live in and how you make it work for you and your family?

…I think it would be helpful if anyone in the single teacher income scenario might be able to share their experience to help us discover some good and honest insight.

[SIGN]Thank you!![/SIGN]

Geographical location absolutely makes a difference in cost of living, but don’t places with lower costs of living also have lower salaries?

I know a family here in northern New Jersey (think New York/New Jersey metropolitan area housing prices, ouch!) with 8 children. We’re in a western, more rural county for that small town feel that your wife would like, but cost of living is still pretty high here. A 3 bedroom, 1 or 2 bath house could cost in the $350K range. The father was a public school teacher for many years and recently retired with pension. The mother homeschooled the children through 8th grade (inexpensive Catholic education) and then got them scholarships (try $1,000 per child per year tuition due, down from $9 or $10K per child per year) to the local Catholic high school. And in his retirement, the father is TA DA teaching at the local Catholic high school where his salary plus public school pension about equals what he was earning before. I haven’t been to their house, but I understand it was pretty small at one time, but they added on as their family grew. It was cheaper than buying a bigger house and moving.

As an aside, financial planner Ric Edelman believes you should NOT put large down payments and equities into houses because you can earn higher returns in the mutual fund (diversified) stock market than in house value appreciation. That assumes you can afford the monthly payments on the higher mortgage, though.

Best wishes,
Christine

 

[darthsmozers]

As an aside, financial planner Ric Edelman believes you should NOT put large down payments and equities into houses because you can earn higher returns in the mutual fund (diversified) stock market than in house value appreciation. That assumes you can afford the monthly payments on the higher mortgage, though.

That’s the trick But some very good advice, thank you so very much for sharing that story!