Anyone really did it the pure way?

[budgie2]

As it’s already been said, it’s very difficult to live according to the Church’s teaching in present society and God understands that. I don’t know your circumstances but I think a lot of younger Catholics now will have at least lost their virginity before marriage although in my gran’s generation it was less common. I think the best we can do to advise our children is encourage them to hold out for a stable relationship rather than feeling nobody wants me and taking anybody and also don’t put marriage off as this increases the likelihood of sex before marriage.

 

[LilyM]

There are numerous examples among the Saints of ‘epic fails’ (gotta love that expression!) in this regard - St Augustine, St Margaret of Cortona, St Pelagia, St Mary of Egypt … and they’re just the ones we know about, which means there are many times as many among them who fell but didn’t publicise the fact. Pray to these saints both for help practicing the virtue of chastity and for healing regarding your past.

Remember chastity isn’t about your past, nor even your future, but about the present. Make the decision TODAY to be chaste - just for one day. Try not to think about what you did yesterday (God doesn’t remember it, He said He’d put our sins as far from us as the East is from the West). Don’t worry about what you might do tomorrow, you can’t and don’t know. Just concentrate on today. Promise the Lord this one day at least. Find productive, useful and holy things to fill your mind, heart, and time with, for today, to keep your eyes and hands busy with today.

Then wake up tomorrow morning and do the same thing - make the decision to be chaste just for the one day, and promise the Lord you’ll stick with it for the whole day. Don’t worry about the day after until that day arrives.

Please, people, don’t ever feel like your sins make sanctity unattainable or think of yourself as ‘damaged goods’. Jesus didn’t come to earth for the benefit of the perfect people, now, did He? But sinners - as He Himself said.

And remember also He said there is more rejoicing in heaven over a sinner who repents than a just man who has no need to. That thought should give us all hope, no? :heaven:

And remember there are many other areas of sin that many struggle with even if chastity is not an issue for them - it might be drugs or alcohol, or food, it might be violence or anger, it might be an overwhelming desire for power or money or material possessions. All just as deadly to the soul. We all have our struggles, both big and small.

 

[dulcissima]

“Qui veut faire l’ange fait la bête” or “He who would act the angel becomes the beast.”
Blaise Pascal

Do not let your present imperfections stop you from seeking to grow closer to God. There is a reason that he suffered and died for us, and that is because he wants us for his own. This preoccupation that is robbing you of your peace is not from God.

While we are not perfect, God’s plan for us is perfect. He allowed us to be capable of sin, so that we could approach him out of love. Getting close to him is a process, and yes, we will feel the pains of our choices to sin along the way. It is a part of the deal.

 

[daeve]

My coming of age was in the late 60s, early 70s. Need I say more?

The only thing I really want to add to this discussion is that you don’t have to feel like damaged goods. You’ve confessed with sincerity, God forgave you, and you’ve progressed. If God can forgive you for breaking His laws, you can forgive yourself. Being harder on myself than God is doesn’t make much sense to me. I’ll follow His lead.

 

[WetCatechumen]

I personally think there is something wrong with a teenaged male who has not violated his own chastity through extended sexual fantasies and masturbation - to me it is merely an indication that there is something physiologically wrong with him. Please note that I am not condoning or supporting the sins. I’m merely saying that physiologically they’re nearly unavoidable.

Obviously, in terms of sin it would be better for him to be pure, but honestly, if that doesn’t happen, something’s wrong.

Christ certainly maintained his chastity, but I bet it sure wasn’t easy.

 

[jmcrae]

I personally think there is something wrong with a teenaged male who has not violated his own chastity through extended sexual fantasies and masturbation - to me it is merely an indication that there is something physiologically wrong with him.

In previous generations, these behaviours were considered symptoms of homosexuality and/or mental illnesses such as depression. Just sayin’.

The cure was supposed to be football and the company of wholesome, virtuous girls.

Christ certainly maintained his chastity, but I bet it sure wasn’t easy.

I don’t know whether He ever played football, but He certainly enjoyed the company of women.

 

[EeyoresButerfly]

I can honestly say that I am doing so now. I am 24. I have kissed two men in my life, not the kind of kissing you see where it looks like you eat each other, just a quick kiss. My current boyfriend and I are very much committed to the idea of a Christian relationship. In one and a half years of dating we have only kissed twice. I have never seen him without clothes and vice versa although we have shared a hotel room on occasion when travelling.

I do not look at porn and have not committed any acts that would be frowned upon by the church. I will admit that I do have some serious hang ups about my body, I do not even like other girls to see without clothes, something that becomes difficult when you are a dancer and have to change in a communalso grew up in a dressing room! I also grew up in a family where physical displays of affection simply were not common. I cannot remember a time when my parents slept in the same bedroom. They almost never kiss or touch in front of me. It simply is not their style, but they are still very much in love. I would not be surprised if the combination of these two things has made it easier for me than most to maintain my vow of abstinence (I committed to True Love Waits in 8th grade and still wear my purity ring).

 

[budgie2]

I can honestly say that I am doing so now. I am 24. I have kissed two men in my life, not the kind of kissing you see where it looks like you eat each other, just a quick kiss. My current boyfriend and I are very much committed to the idea of a Christian relationship. In one and a half years of dating we have only kissed twice. I have never seen him without clothes and vice versa although we have shared a hotel room on occasion when travelling.

It seems strange that you have only kissed twice in one and a half years. Is this because you’re afraid it will get too passionate or because you have a long distance relationship?