Anyone scared or wary about death even if your a faithful catholic?

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chaz0426

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I am a very catholic guy and I have a lot of faith than most guys my age in college but some days especially when confronted with death like knowing people personally who recently died I can’t help but thinking realistically what really happens when we die? I know what is suppose to happen and what I have faith in but do any of you still get that fear of the unknown feeling? Like what if it’s something else ect.

Mostly when I think of it I’m wondering that if we are able to live after death then why doesn’t anyone ever come back and reassure their loved ones after they die? I even heard of a case where someone was told they’d come back to the if they live after death and they never did. It just get’s me wondering what really does happen. I know we’ll never know and it’s not something that can be seen visually or proved by science and that is what faith is but still thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine sometimes.

I think it’s natural to have that and while I don’t doubt my faith it’s still a shiver that I’ll get every now and then just with the uncertainty of things and I know that is what faith is but still. Can anyone else relate? Anyone
 
I guess as we get older there’s more of a sense that death gets ever closer and closer. I see it with my parents and in-laws. I look in the mirror every day and see this late-40 something face looking back at me with ever-greying hair.

I feel the stiffness in my joints when I get up in the morning and am reminded of my own mortality when I watch my kids play sports effortlessly while I huff and puff my way through a 20 minute jog at a glacial pace.

I see family, friends and acquaintences afflicted with cancer, and wonder sometimes if it will get me. I sometimes wonder how painful life and eventually death will be .

Then I think of the afterlife. I think of how long eternity is compared to this short life and consider how cool it will be to have a perfectly resurrected body.

So I’m not scared of that transition from this life to that one. Not anymore, not even for a moment.
 
I can relate, I’m terrifed! I have faith, but I’m still scared. I never used to be, but now I’m a husband and a father I guess I have more to lose. I pray that when death takes me, I can go to God in peace. I know in my faith I find the comfort about dying I long for.
 
FightingFat said:
I can relate, I’m terrifed! I have faith, but I’m still scared. I never used to be, but now I’m a husband and a father I guess I have more to lose. I pray that when death takes me, I can go to God in peace. I know in my faith I find the comfort about dying I long for.
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More to lose or more to gain? 😉

The problem here is not being able to trust that the Almighty would take care of your family in the event of your “early” demise. I occasionally have a flash of that thought too…but when you think about it, we’re thinking about how we think our plans are better than the Lord’s.
 
Newbie2 said:
More to lose or more to gain? 😉

The problem here is not being able to trust that the Almighty would take care of your family in the event of your “early” demise. I occasionally have a flash of that thought too…but when you think about it, we’re thinking about how we think our plans are better than the Lord’s.
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Very sage advice, but there’s a big dollop of “selfish” in there from me as well! I don’t want to be seperated from my wife and kids-- EVER!

I often wonder about the way we spend our whole lives journeying into community with others, but have to make that final step alone…Excepting we have Jesus to hold our hands. I sure hope he’s there when I pass over!!!
 
Yes, I have to admit, that the realization of the end of this life does cause me to be a bit anxious.

But notice I said, ‘…the end of this life…’. Isn’t that the problem? From the time we’re able to mentally process our thoughts we’re generally taught & programmed that this earthly life is our only existence…gradually we even learn that there is the possiblity that this is all there is, & that, can make the loss of everything we are & have, what we find security & comfort in, very scary. That thought is a real, objective concern for some, but a subjective fear for others. What is most important…living this life as it’s all there is, or focusing on the next life, living this one in preparation for the next?

There’s another side of this coin to consider…Have you ever talked with someone who can’t wait to leave this life, this existence? Most usually, they are folks who are very faithful, & very trusting that what their faith teaches about infinite life of the soul inspires a calm in any doubt, anxiety, or fear.

I think it all comes down to anxiety at the least, or fear, at the greatest, of the unknown. We all have an inherent fear of the unknown. For me, I trust in God, in His Son, & all of the promises revealed thru His Church. What other option do I have? I have no control over the outcome (other than to do my best to attain a positive afterlife, heaven)? If I was a gambler, & a smart one, I’d play the best, safest, bet. Our Church gives us the safest odds.
 
FightingFat said:
Very sage advice, but there’s a big dollop of “selfish” in there from me as well! I don’t want to be seperated from my wife and kids-- EVER!
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I’m with you. The thought of being away from my wife and kids is difficult, though my friends say that once my kids become teenagers I might not think the same;)

I’m nervous about dying - not knowing what is next - but also a bit excited (though in no hurry) to find out the answers.
 
I’m still pretty young but the thought of it does cross my mind from time to time, and one word that comes to mind is to hope and to trust in the Lord.

I once read in a Catholic blog that our lives here on Earth are like the lives of a child that’s still in the womb, they have ‘ears,’ but do not know what they are used for, they have ‘eyes,’ but cannot fully see. At some point after being in the womb for a long time they may even wonder if there is a life after this existence, or what would happen then. Some may even think it is too comfortable of an existence to leave. But, we know that once the child is born, they fullfill their pourpose and make us really happy. Even thou it’s only through agonizing and suffering pain that this occurs, we still look forward to seeing this child being born, in my mind, that’s the stance God takes as the loving Father who watches over their young.
 
In your post you say you wonder most of all why someone who has died does not come back and reassure their loved ones.
Someone once asked Jesus to send a person from heaven to go back from death and warn his five brothers. In Luke 16:27-31 Jesus tells the man, Lazarus, now in hell, that his brothers have Moses and the prophets, let them hear them. Then Lazarus insists that if someone goes to his brothers from the dead, they will repent. Jesus tells him that even if they see someone rise from the dead, they will not be convinced.
I have often considered this passage. Jesus is telling them, that if someone without faith sees someone risen from the dead, astonishingly, they will not believe. If the person believes, their faith should already reassure them about life after death. And in fact, Jesus himself rose from the dead. But the accounts in the Gospels and Acts do not show anyone who has not believed because of this come to believe in Jesus nor in what he had taught. We only hear that some leaders who would not believe bribed the guards who had been at the tomb deny Jesus’ resurrection.
And since God will not send someone who has died to reassure us, such reassurance must come from our faith.
And in fact such thing, someone appearing after they died, has occurred en masse with people. Mary appeared at Fatima, and in fact caused a spectacular miracle, the miracle of the sun. But did this cause anyone with no faith to believe she had appeared after her death? Some socialist papers in Lisbon sent some reporters who witnessed the miracle, and in fact who courageously put a story of it in their papers. As a result they got much criticism from their party for having reported what they saw.
For the rest of what you say, I think you should pray, and when you get the opportunity, pray before the Blessed Sacrament.
chaz0426 said:
I am a very catholic guy and I have a lot of faith than most guys my age in college but some days especially when confronted with death like knowing people personally who recently died I can’t help but thinking realistically what really happens when we die? I know what is suppose to happen and what I have faith in but do any of you still get that fear of the unknown feeling? Like what if it’s something else ect.

Mostly when I think of it I’m wondering that if we are able to live after death then why doesn’t anyone ever come back and reassure their loved ones after they die? I even heard of a case where someone was told they’d come back to the if they live after death and they never did. It just get’s me wondering what really does happen. I know we’ll never know and it’s not something that can be seen visually or proved by science and that is what faith is but still thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine sometimes.

I think it’s natural to have that and while I don’t doubt my faith it’s still a shiver that I’ll get every now and then just with the uncertainty of things and I know that is what faith is but still. Can anyone else relate? Anyone
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I had a bit of a health scare the other month and thought I had heart trouble, and then I imagined that I may die. It actually left me feeling very peaceful and glad and I was surprised. Ordinarily I do fear death and judgment. After all, no one knows if they are in a state of grace and so it pays to be vigilant. My peaceful experience before what I thought was death’s face suggests to me that when death actually does come we will get the grace to face it with peace and hope. 🙂
 
Differently over time.

From a feeling ‘to die and learn this tough question from brother Thomas if I meet him there somehow’ to ‘I’m afraid I’ve eaten some bad bacteria!’

I hope for good. Sometimes I doubt everything, however. But as it’s been long known to all that fear of death is nonsense, I fear more to get seriously ill than to die…well, an exemplary secular prick as I am…
 
In my experience as a counsellor, most people are more afraid of dying thaan of death,especially if they have a solid faith. it is the uncertainity of one’s end,with such horrors as excuciating pain, the big C, stroke and Alzheimers always a possibility, that spooks people.
 
That is a very interesting question but unfortunately, I can’t give a definitive yes or no so my answer is both yes and no. Years ago I was absolutely horrified at the prospect of dying mainly because I had no idea where I would end up (yes, I didn’t lead a perfect Catholic life at the time). Now that I have amended my ways and am seriously more devout than I was years ago I am not that afraid of death. Mainly, because in my mind I just can’t fathom God sending me to hell. I’m sure I will have to do some time in Purgatory though. On the other hand I have always believed that God knows us better than we know ourselves and maybe there is something deep within me that would prevent me from going to Heaven that I am not aware of and that scares me. That is why when I say the Act of Contrition every day I include the statement, "I am sorry for any sins I committed whether knowingly, unknowingly or forgotten”. I think that should cover all bases.
 
maklavan said:
In my experience as a counsellor, most people are more afraid of dying thaan of death,especially if they have a solid faith. it is the uncertainity of one’s end,with such horrors as excuciating pain, the big C, stroke and Alzheimers always a possibility, that spooks people.
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Certainly.
 
((Waves her hand frantically))

I suffer from Major Depression and Panic Disorder, and it manifestes as “death anxiety.” Basically, I freak out wondering if there’s life after death.

Good news - I had a major nervous breakdown over it and it caused me to drag my butt back into church and sit down and behave. So I’m actually getting back into my faith because of it.

Bad news - despite actaully having faith, I end up having panic attacks over death even now.

Personally, I think that Hell is preferable over ceasing to exist. Which puts me in the minority - everyone I know who’s not Catholic says that they think it’s better to simply no longer exist than to suffer Hell. I don’t think so. Painful though separation from God might be, I would still exist. …which is why I think I’m getting a LONG stint in purgatory and not in Hell, because to continue to exist in any form would be cause for celebration, and, honestly, nobody in Hell wants to thank God.

Not saying that I know that I’m saved (I hope I am!) but explaining why I’m not afraid to imagine and long for heaven.
 
I’m scared in the sense of how God evens things out upon death and whether the balance tips for or against me.

I think, like alot of christians, I’m worried about not making the final cut, the final grade, and not passing the test, as it were. I know we shouldn’t look at it in terms like that, but how can we not sometimes? We’re told to do this, do that, not do this or that, observe this but not that, and so on and this is all coming from religion, not to include what life demands of us.

We’re bound to fail and end our lives in some kind of personal failure or incomplete work or mission. No one can honesty say they’re ready to go. If they are, then they’re saints and are in direct communion with God so as to know He favors them and will save them.

But for the rest of us, who struggle to find our spiritual identities, and at such a young age (I’m 26) I wonder if when I die my best was good enough. I’ve made great improvements in my spiritual life, but, not surprisingly, the frequency of my mortal sins have gone up as well, and I’m needing to go to confession more often than before. The more I am aware of myself and what goes on around me, the more I realize what sin is and how to identify it. And when I’m capable of doing that, I realize how far deep I’m into sin or how far away from God I am.

But then, that’s what we think of ourselves. What does God think? I think the biggest torture for a person is not knowing for sure what He thinks and how He will judge us. There’s what the church says He’ll do, and then there’s what He’ll actually do. The church often uses the word “ordinarily” when describing how God administers grace or forgiveness.

Well, I’ll go out on a limb here and say lots of the situations we find ourselves in are not “ordinary” and are compromised of many conflicting elements. It’s never clear cut and dry. For God, who is all-knowing and all-seeing, yes, but for us meager humans, in our limited capacities, that insecurity will always be there.

All I can do at the end of the day is say “God, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll try harder tomorrow.”

In a perfect world we’d be perfect children, but we’re not and God realizes this. So it’s my faith that God will hopefully take whatever good I have done in my life or was aiming to do, and He blesses it, has pity on me, and allows me to be saved in my final moments. In the case of an unprovided death or sudden death, I can only do the same thing up until that point- hope that I’ve done at least something right with my life or a series of things that pleases Him enough that He’ll grant me purgatory, and eventually, Heaven.
 
Scared to die? Nah. However I am a bit concerned about what will happen between now and death.
 
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