Anyone working from home with toddlers?

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MarthaSo

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God bless everyone, and hope everyone is doing really well!

I just wondered if anyone, as myself, is working from home with a young toddler. Mine is 18 months old and no help. No nanny, no sitter (no money) and no older sibling (moved away) and no husband (his work is insane and he’s required to be in all day meetings for most of the week but he helps a lot at night…he works all day weekends at a second job, he can’t help much during the day through no fault of his own).

If anyone is in a similar situation, how do manage your “office work” and preparing meals for toddlers and dinner prep. (my husband usually manages laundry and the floors will get mopped one day). I usually tackle toddler meals, dinner prep and my office job during his now one nap. Everything else has to be at night or chunks of time where I ignore the baby in his safe play place for at minimum an hour during the day. (I resent ignoring him because my boss sent me a lot of work again and have to purposely think of my gratitude of having work, there are homeless families struggling)

Advice and encouragement is much appreciated and needed, I’m struggling to manage my emotions. Last week my boss sent me a project (no deadline) that I spent all this weekend writing for and when I received her email on Friday afternoon (after office hours) with a vague notion of what i should do for this big thing I literally went crazy and surprised myself, I didn’t even know what came over me but I cursed and my husband saw how stressed I became. I notice that everytime my boss sends me work I get angry because of the stresses of juggling work while caring for a toddler.

Thanks for listening. God bless you all.
 
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I heard you…May God Bless You! Humor and a very good friend are needed here. You do have our admirationand a prayer.
 
Thanks very much! My husband is my only friend and we do share laughs thank God, we just remain pretty stressed at the workload. But thank God Jesus sees all and knows I’m trying my best. I ask for His strength everyday and sometimes I get sad (at Him) because I don’t feel much strength on a day where I lose my cool hours after praying. I don’t pray enough. I’d love tips on practicing gratitude, it feels a bit weird to think of a homeless family to level my emotions when I’m overwhelmed (because I feel bad for them) but it helps me to shift focus and feel calmer about my work situation and the ton of work my boss gives.
 
I can’t understand how your husband can have two jobs and it’s still not enough. Perhaps you live in a very poor country. Sorry things are so hard for you. I think your husband needs to find a higher paying job.
 
I realize finances are tight for you but, in order to keep your job and the money it brings in, would it be possible to hire a sitter to come into your home for a few hours several times a week. Since you will still be there too, a young teen could earn a bit of money and give you uninterrupted time to focus on work.

It may be a matter of having to have a part time sitter or having your job at all so consider the cost/benefit ratio and decide to either spend a little to get more or not spend any but lose the job? No one can do 26 hours in a 24 hour day…no one!
 
Lara said:
I can’t understand how your husband can have two jobs and it’s still not enough. Perhaps you live in a very poor country.
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or a very expensive area, with an expensive home.
The OP had said previousely she lives in NY area.
 
Hi Anicette, yes we rent a home and plan, God willing to buy our own home next summer if all goes well. This will reduce our expenses a lot if we move into a particular area. The plan was for me to be able to leave my job and raise little ones without the burden of an outside job. Who knows if that will happen but it’s in God’s hands and weve prayed about it. Just have to hang in there until then. Nice to see you again.
 
it may be unreasonable but since I wouldn’t know the person i’d worry they may babysit many children and there may be a chance the toddler can get sick. Is that unreasonable? I often worry over nothing and overthink things. I have a strong feeling that that is one of my unreasonable thoughts . thank you
 
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Hire a sitter to come to your home…sorry I wasn’t clear on that. You’ll be there to handle anything that’s too much for her/him.

I’m not sure of going rates right now but say you offer to pay $10/hr for three hours a day for three times a week. That’s $90. Pretty good money for a 13-14 yo! That’s nine hours of concentrated work on your part plus you can check on toddle at will. It’s a matter of deciding if the money spent is worth keeping your job and doing a good days labor on it. I’m not sure how much time weekly is needed to do your work from home…you may need more or less.

I joined one of those neighborhood apps and just saw a work from home mom posting for just this scenario. Many young teens can’t do real jobs yet and are limited to yard and babysitting work but they have time available as much of schoolwork is online for them…they are done usually by noon. Depending on what hours they could do and if it works for you…it’s a match made in heaven. They’ll understand that their job is to keep toddler watched and entertained while you work yet you are there for any emergencies. That can be a relief for them, too.

If nothing else, put out feelers and see if any young teens are interested and what would be a fair price and time. Honestly, I think it’s brilliant!
 
I appreciate your thoughtful and encouraging response, thank you, I will definitely consider this and talk to my husband about it thanks so much Patty!
 
I’ve been amazed at the issues people have had dealing with this pandemic and even more surprised at the various solutions people have arrived at! Where there’s a will, there certainly seems to be a way!

Good luck! ❤️❤️❤️
 
Hello MarthaSo, glad to see you back again!

Would it be possible for you to get your work done at night when your toddler is asleep? I don’t know what kind of work you do, but if you could “turn it in” the next morning, maybe that would help.

Also, as you know, he is a toddler, and this too shall pass. It won’t be long before he is able to entertain himself for a while with toys and you will be able to get things done.
 
MarthaSo said:
I appreciate your thoughtful and encouraging response, thank you, I will definitely consider this and talk to my husband about it thanks so much Patty!
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I agree with Patty–get some in-home sitting.

It wouldn’t even have to be a teenager. There may be a woman (middle-aged, empty-nester) who is struggling a little financially due to a lost job or reduced hours–she might be thrilled to come to your home and take care of your toddler for a few hours a few days a week to earn a little cash to help make her ends meet. Plus, she has a chance to get away from the boredom of staying home alone with a TV and not much else to do.

And there might be someone who would do it for free just to get out of their house! Of course you take a risk of COVID-19, but…well, what’s the alternative? Going insane trying to continue the way you’re going now?
 
Nice to see you Irishmom! And thank you very much for your kind note❤️ I try to get the work done during naps and in the early morning or evening.
I guess in thinking about it some more, for some reason my main problem is ( as embarrassing as it is for me to admit because it sounds juvenile) is actually the feeling of anger at my boss for sending me work to do. Obviously that sounds ridiculous because I’m getting paid to do a job and I shouldn’t have these thoughts of how unreasonable she has to give a mom taking care of a toddler work lol. I think I just need some thoughts to think about when this feeling surfaces that help me shift my focus to gratitude that she’s giving me work instead of anger. Tips appreciated. Thank you again for your thoughtful response.
 
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MarthaSo said:
I think I just need some thoughts to think about when this feeling surfaces
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Just reading this thread, I think you’ve reached your answer. Sometimes we just need to verbalize our frustrations and get them out in the open. If it weren’t for Covid, these are the types of things we would be chatting about with neighbors, our friends at church, etc. We’ve all felt so isolated this year and it’s taking its toll on our emotions. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
You are under a huge amount of stress and it might be that you handle it and handle it, but when your bpss sends you work, that’s the little bit extra that you can’t quite fit immediately into your handling.

It may be that your anger at these moments is not at your boss’s sending you work per se, but at everything and this is just the straw that breaks the camel’s back?
 
Hi, yes I agree thank you. My boss can be rude and unreasonable so it is a little bit her but I also feel bad that I can’t give more time devoted to caring for my baby, to God and household stuff, …every free moment every day is a race to make the next toddler meal and catch up on work before he wakes from his nap. Sweeping the floor and a good house cleaning are never done. I tidy during the day because I don’t like messiness around me, it raises stress but no serious cleaning like I used to, no time or energy for that.
I must intentionally bring forth to mind my blessings , that I’m able to finally be home with my baby! That precious adorable child that I’m still waiting to receive little kisses and hugs from. He’s so cute he hugs backward, he’ll get behind me when we’re on the floor playing and hug. That’s a blessing. I read a story of a mom in a one room homeless shelter with her 10 month old and 4 year old. Her room is probably the size of my basement where I have extra toys and frankly I feel terrible. It makes me grateful for what I have but also sad for her and even fearful that that could be me or someone I love one day. So, I guess thoughts like that help me appreciate my blessings and even the fact that I have a job that allows my family to not be homeless. And makes me respond to emails in a tone of helpfulness instead of a bothered tone which I’ve been guilty of.
Tomorrow I’m sending a very elaborate email to several people and I know I may get disagreeable responses so I plan on sending it, and then playing It is Well With My Soul until midday when i check my emails again. 😊
 
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I am sorry that you are struggling right now, @MarthaSo. I remember your posts from before about how much you were longing to stay home with Matthew. It has to be really hard to juggle your regular full time work while making sure your little one is happy and safe.

I think that @Pattylt’s suggestion about trying to see if you might be able to see if someone you trust could watch your little boy in your home, even for just a few hours a week, is a very good one. Having a small amount of time where you can focus solely on your work might make it a bit easier to keep your job secure.

I have a little girl who just recently turned two, so she is just a bit older than your little one. A lot of the things I want to get done end up being done at night, similar to what @Irishmom2 helpfully suggested. Occasionally I have to do something that cannot wait unto my daughter is asleep. In those instances, I ask her if she would like to “help” me. Then I give her a task, such as a plastic bowl to dry, that will occupy her for a little while, so that I can work on whatever needs to be done right next to her. This usually will give me only a short spurt of time, but it is helpful with immediate pressing needs.

I am sorry that you are feeling so much stress between juggling time with work and time with your son. I hope that things get better for you soon. Your posts make it clear that you love your son very much. You are a good mom; you’re doing the best you can for your son. I am sure your son feels your love very much and that will more than make up for the moments you can’t be with him because of work.
 
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Peonies said:
Then I give her a task, such as a plastic bowl to dry, that will occupy her for a little while, so that I can work on whatever needs to be done right next to her.
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I remember having to fix dinner with a toddler in the way! I made my bottom drawer my “lid” drawer…all the pots lids and plastic lids went in there. When I was cooking, they got to play in the lid drawer…pulling them out. It took only a minute to get them all put back, especially if they were “helping” me. It kept them busy so I could cook and watch them even though I had to put them all away afterwards.

Perhaps Matthew could have a little desk near yours with safe “office” items to occupy him? It might not be long enough but partially? There’s nothing really that will keep a toddler that age busy for a long enough period to get all your work done but every little bit helps!
 
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