A
Awake
Guest
I want to have an intimate relationship with God, but I just have a hard time caring. What can I do to cure apathy?
Scripture doesn’t speak to me. Most of the OT seems barbaric and archaic. Reading the NT, Jesus seems like an intriguing figure, but I don’t feel any personal connection with him and I don’t get any desire to give my life for Christianity. A lot of what is in the Bible just seems silly and absurd to me.
Theology seems meaningless. I am well versed in Catholic theology, but it all just seems pointless. Theologians debate on obscure details that have no barring on one’s life and ultimately the only reason they can use to defend their viewpoint is that they know God better than the other person. The debate of the filioque is the epitome of the this.
Prayer doesn’t do anything for me. God doesn’t speak to me, directly or indirectly. People speak of how great prayer is and how close a relationship they gain with God. I have no idea what this is like. Every hour I spend in prayer does nothing more for me than waste an hour of my life. I actually find myself in a better mood when I don’t pray. I have tried all sorts of prayers and and all sorts of methods, but nothing works.
Even though I have studied the Catholic Mass extensively, I’m still bored when I go. All sorts of miraculous stuff is supposedly going on, but I don’t feel any desire to be there. Mass is supposed to be the highlight of one’s week, but I always look forward to it being over.
What it all comes down to is that God doesn’t speak to me through scripture, theology, prayer, or mass.
I’ve always thought that if I just spent a little bit more time in prayer, or a little more time reading the Bible, or went to daily Mass, or read more spiritual or theological books, than it would all click. If I did just a little bit more, I would understand what it is like when people say they have a relationship with Jesus. And that’s the only advice I’ve ever really received “just pray about it” or “learn about it and you’ll have more of a desire”. Well I’ve tried, and I’ve tried and I’ve tried, and it doesn’t work.
I don’t know what it is like to have a religious experience. Nature, music, literature, mathematics, and science all speak to me. But when it comes to Catholicism, God, Jesus, etc., nothing speaks to me. And people tell me I’m evil because God isn’t the most important part of my life…
What am I doing wrong?
Scripture doesn’t speak to me. Most of the OT seems barbaric and archaic. Reading the NT, Jesus seems like an intriguing figure, but I don’t feel any personal connection with him and I don’t get any desire to give my life for Christianity. A lot of what is in the Bible just seems silly and absurd to me.
Theology seems meaningless. I am well versed in Catholic theology, but it all just seems pointless. Theologians debate on obscure details that have no barring on one’s life and ultimately the only reason they can use to defend their viewpoint is that they know God better than the other person. The debate of the filioque is the epitome of the this.
Prayer doesn’t do anything for me. God doesn’t speak to me, directly or indirectly. People speak of how great prayer is and how close a relationship they gain with God. I have no idea what this is like. Every hour I spend in prayer does nothing more for me than waste an hour of my life. I actually find myself in a better mood when I don’t pray. I have tried all sorts of prayers and and all sorts of methods, but nothing works.
Even though I have studied the Catholic Mass extensively, I’m still bored when I go. All sorts of miraculous stuff is supposedly going on, but I don’t feel any desire to be there. Mass is supposed to be the highlight of one’s week, but I always look forward to it being over.
What it all comes down to is that God doesn’t speak to me through scripture, theology, prayer, or mass.
I’ve always thought that if I just spent a little bit more time in prayer, or a little more time reading the Bible, or went to daily Mass, or read more spiritual or theological books, than it would all click. If I did just a little bit more, I would understand what it is like when people say they have a relationship with Jesus. And that’s the only advice I’ve ever really received “just pray about it” or “learn about it and you’ll have more of a desire”. Well I’ve tried, and I’ve tried and I’ve tried, and it doesn’t work.
I don’t know what it is like to have a religious experience. Nature, music, literature, mathematics, and science all speak to me. But when it comes to Catholicism, God, Jesus, etc., nothing speaks to me. And people tell me I’m evil because God isn’t the most important part of my life…
What am I doing wrong?