Apologetics losing family&friends

[franksv]

Even before I found the Catholic Church,just finding Jesus was enough to lose my biological mother.I was not brought up by her,so it was not like really losing my mother,but just the name of Jesus seemed to cause great offense with her.

Being led by the Holy Spirit to the Cathoilc Church caused even more folks to keep away.After joining RCIA I am now at odds with 2 cousins(one in a bad way),one uncle and two friendships are now awkward.

Its not even like I have ever been a hardcore apologist,all of them have pryed and asked the questions.I just simply spoke the Truth and really had no agenda as far as converting them or getting in their faces.In some cases they have got in my face and got offended when I showed them the error of their ways,or refused to agree with them.Disputing/dismissing sola scriptura really angers non-Catholics.

I do want to be a RCIA facilitater when I am ready,but I will always keep a gentle spirit when it comes to apologetics.That in no way means I will comprimise the Truth though.How about you folks,have you lost friends&family because you have taken up your cross and are following Jesus?

Frank

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Just a thought: It seems to me like the best way to evangelize is to act lovingly, and wait for people to ask questions. God can convert your family and friends, in His time. I’m not sure what the urgency to use apologetics is all about, unless they’ve expressed interest in converting.

You only get one family.

 

[franksv]

Prodigal_Son:

Just a thought: It seems to me like the best way to evangelize is to act lovingly, and wait for people to ask questions. God can convert your family and friends, in His time. I’m not sure what the urgency to use apologetics is all about, unless they’ve expressed interest in converting.

You only get one family.

I know and hear what you are saying,but I knew where this was going and really tried to avoid these conversations.But,I can’t say nothing when they say things like Jesus was really a buddha,or that Catholics worship Mary,etc.Its like they want to have a one sided conversation and are not interested in finding out what the Church is really about.God Bless.

Frank

 

[Della]

franksv:

I know and hear what you are saying,but I knew where this was going and really tried to avoid these conversations.But,I can’t say nothing when they say things like Jesus was really a buddha,or that Catholics worship Mary.Its like they want to have a one sided conversation and are not interested in finding out what the Church is really about.God Bless.

Frank

In such cases I’d just come out and ask, nicely, why they want you to comment when they obviously already have their minds made up. You should ask if they are so intolerant they have to make a big deal out of your faith. Let them know you are always open to any legitimate questions or concerns but that you won’t answer insults nor leading questions (of the “How-many-times-a-day-DO-you-beat-your-wife?” type). This will let them know you won’t be baited, and it will set appropriate boundaries with them. And keep on praying.

 

[Church_Militant]

Hi Frank! ,

I understand what you mean, and we have talked a bit about some of this before.

I too have a few folks in my life that have less than sterling opinions of our most holy faith and in some cases I have had to speak up. One friend often fwds me religious stuff that in don’t even bother to open any more because we have talked about Catholicism and I know his opinion and the sort of follks he’s into (CRI. a-Cs and I don’t CARE if there are dinosaurs on the earth right now nor how old the planet is. It makes no difference to my faith at all. )

I know he means well and I respect that but I just haven’t got the time for all that a-C rhetoric.

The funny thing is that as I have had some distancing from n-C friends, God seems to have replaced them with a better closeness with one practicing Catholic brother in my family and several really nice Catholic friends in my parish and here online, so I guess it all balances out.

Most often with n-C friends it comes up with one of them making some kind of blanket statement that is contrary to the faith and is stated as if it’s a given gospel truth. When we disagree some folks are offended when we ALL need to learn to just take the other guy’s religious remarks for whatever they’re worth and never let it offend us unless they make a remark that is plainly meant to be a rhetorical attack.

One thing that I think Prodigal makes as a very good point (and this is supported by the Word of God in 1st Peter 3:14 But if also you suffer any thing for justice’ sake, blessed are ye. And be not afraid of their fear, and be not troubled. 15 But sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you. 16 But with modesty and fear, having a good conscience: that whereas they speak evil of you, they may be ashamed who falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. 17 For it is better doing well (if such be the will of God) to suffer, than doing ill.) is that all the talk in the world isn’t worth squat if the people around us don’t see us living it out moment by moment and day by day.

Hang in there bro, and never consider those other folks lost to you…you never know what the Holy Spirit is doing in them. Remember them in your prayers, as I know that you do.
Pax tecum,

 

[franksv]

Thanks CM,you are right,they are not lost to me and I have made many new Catholic friends.An example is I used to hunt with my cousins and uncle,I am now planning a 06 deer hunt with my one of my RCIA facilitators.But,to get back to the hart of the matter,I think its a given that some folks will want to persecute you for following the Lord.I am not that well versed in Scripture,but I know Jesus said this would happen.I guess its just still a little shocking how just the name Jesus causes some folks to get really angry and the Catholic Church even more so.

I can tell you that if any of these anti Catholic folks came to my door,I would greet them and invite them to my dinner table.What I won’t do is let them call the Catholic Church pagan or tell me that the Catholic Church is really lead by satan.Theres lots of good advice here about speaking the truth vs wanting to win a debate.To me,there is no debate,only the truth.A conversation is a two way thing.God Bless.

Frank

 

[montanaman]

Just learn to pick your battles. I’ve learned through long experience that if you go riding into “battle” with a flaming sword every time there’s a hint of an anti-Catholic remark, you’ll just end up looking like–and being–a tool.

Stick to basic principles first. You’ll probably never get beyond them, because people just love their pet prejudices, but sticking to first principles is always the best way to go. When they start saying things like “Jesus was just like Buddha,” then all you have to do is say “The Church doesn’t believe so. That’s a 20th century idea.” If they say “Catholics worship Mary,” then you simply ask them for proof because, hey, you’ve just spent the last six months in RCIA learning about the faith–who’s more informed?

My mom appears to be in some stage of apostisizing. Not to anything else in particular, but through that slow disintegrating of relativistic thinking. I merely said “American Catholics don’t know their faith very well,” and that’s all it took to launch into a huge fight. She was irrational–deranged even. Even though I’ve always thought it sounded trite, it may be true–the fog of Satan is thick, and where more rational people would simply say something like “I disagree with you for XYZ reasons,” people with hearts set against what you believe find your faith not only repellant, but a threat. Why? Take your pick of reasons, but none of them are rational.

 

[MariaG]

montanaman:

Just learn to pick your battles. I’ve learned through long experience that if you go riding into “battle” with a flaming sword every time there’s a hint of an anti-Catholic remark, you’ll just end up looking like–and being–a tool.

Stick to basic principles first. You’ll probably never get beyond them, because people just love their pet prejudices, but sticking to first principles is always the best way to go. When they start saying things like “Jesus was just like Buddha,” then all you have to do is say “The Church doesn’t believe so. That’s a 20th century idea.” If they say “Catholics worship Mary,” then you simply ask them for proof because, hey, you’ve just spent the last six months in RCIA learning about the faith–who’s more informed?

My mom appears to be in some stage of apostisizing. Not to anything else in particular, but through that slow disintegrating of relativistic thinking. I merely said “American Catholics don’t know their faith very well,” and that’s all it took to launch into a huge fight. She was irrational–deranged even. Even though I’ve always thought it sounded trite, it may be true–the fog of Satan is thick, and where more rational people would simply say something like “I disagree with you for XYZ reasons,” people with hearts set against what you believe find your faith not only repellant, but a threat. Why? Take your pick of reasons, but none of them are rational.

Yeah, I would agree that especially with family, sometimes the best way to witness the truth of the Church is to make simple statements like “That is not what the Church teaches” and stop!

Or “I disagree” and stop! You have made a stand, and if they wish to question your statements, then you can get into more detail.

But I tend to take apologetic talks with family in the same manner as answering questions with my children. Answer as simply as possible until you understand what the REAL question or comment is.

God Bless,
Maria