B
Bob_Guinness
Guest
For the sake of objectivity, I’m going to present this as a 3rd-party hypothetical scenario. I realize the set-up is long, but I want to provide enough of the pertinent details.
“Thomas” was married and divorced by the time he was 22 years of age. Neither he nor his ex-wife were christians of any breed, although for convenience sake the marriage was held in a protestant church, and Thomas’ ex-wife happened to have been baptised as a baby (he wasn’t) and raised by a mother who was half the time a fundamentalist evangelical and the other half played with Oiji boards and Tarot cards.
Aside from the interesting conversations we could have about that alone, this scenario really focuses on the following issues.
Thomas at the age of 26 decided to “get religion”, and he started attending RCIA with his “cradle Catholic” buddy, “Simon”, who greed to sponsor him. Simon and Thomas are great friends, and when Thomas is baptised and confirmed on Easter, Simon stands in as his godfather and swears to protect and encourage his faith.
Nearly seven years later Thomas’ grave doubts cause him to become apostate, leaving the Catholic church and the christian faith entirely.
Thomas and Simon remain friends (as they were friends long before Thomas “became” Catholic or Simon “came back to” the Church). Simon vowed to continue to try to bring Thomas back, in accordance with his godfather vow, and Thomas took no offense, saying he appreciated the sentiment.
However they did experience one sticking point eventually. Thomas met a woman and fell in love, and the two decided to marry. Thomas’ new fiancee was not a christian, and Thomas no longer having an interest in Catholic law they decided to get married in his fiancee’s church. Thomas happily invited his best friend to be his best man at the wedding (as he had done for Simon when he got married), but Simon stated that he didn’t believe he could even GO to the wedding.
It was Simon’s position that Thomas was still a Catholic, although living in a state of sin by voluntarily separating himself from the Church, and that even his presence at this wedding would constitute an endorsement of the sin of adultery.
Thomas argues that his apostasy is public (and thereby “official”) and therefore he should not be held to Catholic standards. Simon should treat him with the same respect he would treat any other friend who was not Catholic, and that as long as Thomas was not asking him to participate in a confession or action which in itself was inherently anti-Catholic, then Simon would have no reason to absent himself.
Simon is not so sure that he is right in absenting himself from the wedding, and is distressed by the idea of not being there for his friend Thomas, and fears damaging their relationship. But he does also not wish to betray his faith and his vow as a godfather to steer Thomas back toward the Church. Both parties looked through the CCC, and neither could find specific rules that would require Simon to “protest” the wedding. There are only anecdotes from family history that only loosely apply, and both acknowledged that what Catholics as a people traditionally do is not always what is required or accepted by the Church law.
What does Simon do? Is there a Church law that forbids him from not only participating, but even witnessing the ceremony? To carry it further, does Simon even acknowledge their relationship? Can he invite them over for dinner or would that be an extension of “endorsing adultery”? Is their friendship doomed over this?
“Thomas” was married and divorced by the time he was 22 years of age. Neither he nor his ex-wife were christians of any breed, although for convenience sake the marriage was held in a protestant church, and Thomas’ ex-wife happened to have been baptised as a baby (he wasn’t) and raised by a mother who was half the time a fundamentalist evangelical and the other half played with Oiji boards and Tarot cards.
Aside from the interesting conversations we could have about that alone, this scenario really focuses on the following issues.
Thomas at the age of 26 decided to “get religion”, and he started attending RCIA with his “cradle Catholic” buddy, “Simon”, who greed to sponsor him. Simon and Thomas are great friends, and when Thomas is baptised and confirmed on Easter, Simon stands in as his godfather and swears to protect and encourage his faith.
Nearly seven years later Thomas’ grave doubts cause him to become apostate, leaving the Catholic church and the christian faith entirely.
Thomas and Simon remain friends (as they were friends long before Thomas “became” Catholic or Simon “came back to” the Church). Simon vowed to continue to try to bring Thomas back, in accordance with his godfather vow, and Thomas took no offense, saying he appreciated the sentiment.
However they did experience one sticking point eventually. Thomas met a woman and fell in love, and the two decided to marry. Thomas’ new fiancee was not a christian, and Thomas no longer having an interest in Catholic law they decided to get married in his fiancee’s church. Thomas happily invited his best friend to be his best man at the wedding (as he had done for Simon when he got married), but Simon stated that he didn’t believe he could even GO to the wedding.
It was Simon’s position that Thomas was still a Catholic, although living in a state of sin by voluntarily separating himself from the Church, and that even his presence at this wedding would constitute an endorsement of the sin of adultery.
Thomas argues that his apostasy is public (and thereby “official”) and therefore he should not be held to Catholic standards. Simon should treat him with the same respect he would treat any other friend who was not Catholic, and that as long as Thomas was not asking him to participate in a confession or action which in itself was inherently anti-Catholic, then Simon would have no reason to absent himself.
Simon is not so sure that he is right in absenting himself from the wedding, and is distressed by the idea of not being there for his friend Thomas, and fears damaging their relationship. But he does also not wish to betray his faith and his vow as a godfather to steer Thomas back toward the Church. Both parties looked through the CCC, and neither could find specific rules that would require Simon to “protest” the wedding. There are only anecdotes from family history that only loosely apply, and both acknowledged that what Catholics as a people traditionally do is not always what is required or accepted by the Church law.
What does Simon do? Is there a Church law that forbids him from not only participating, but even witnessing the ceremony? To carry it further, does Simon even acknowledge their relationship? Can he invite them over for dinner or would that be an extension of “endorsing adultery”? Is their friendship doomed over this?