Appropriate Age to be Left Home Alone

[Allegra]

Sort of strange, but in Missouri, there’s no age limit to be left home alone, however, there IS a babysitting age of 11, so while it’s legal to leave your six year old home alone (as long as nothing happens) you CAN get in trouble if you leave your six year old with an eight year old sibling to watch him.

 

[F_Marturana]

My mom would leave me home alone at a really young age, like 4 or so to go grocery shopping or run errands.

At 8 I know I was babysitting my sister for an hour or so at a time.

I do remember when my sister was born being at my grandparents home with my cousin and a small dog. The adults had gone to see my mom and sister. We only knew we were alone after we searched the house and found no one. My cousin was 6. We were excited to be alone and we played with the dog.

 

[Angel_Gabriel]

I would say 11ish…depends on the child really as some are more mature and confident than others. My oldest is almost 14 and he often babysits the younger 3 (ages 5-11) for a few hours here or there. My 11 year old can stay home and watch the 8 year old for a bit but I’m a little hesitant with her watching our 5 year old b/c she’s pretty timid. Maybe in a year she will be ready to handle him too.

 

[JimG]

Age 26 would probably be safe, although you might have to leave detailed instructions.

 

[JanetF]

The first time my kiddo stayed home alone for an entire day was Christmas vacation during fifth grade. she slept late and read all day. That was fine for a week, but for summer vacations I liked having planned activities until the end of middle school. The problem if I remember correctly is that most schools in the area (St. Louis), cut off programs for after school and summer once the kids start middle school. IMO, that’s the most dangerous time for kids to be left without structured activities to fill they time, when both parents are working outside the home. For the summers of 7th and 8th grade I imposed on some of my child’s friends with stay home mom’s to include her in activities, (but only if their kids really wanted her company), and I was very generous in return (at least I think it was fair). For example, if they went to six flags, I paid not only my kids ticket, but parking for everyone. Oops went off on a tangent…

Back to the topic, it’s very much dependent on the child’s ability to handle any emergency that might come up, and of course there are state laws to look into as well.

 

[Paul71]

I would say that it depends a lot on the individual child. It also depends on the combination of children you are leaving home alone, if you are leaving more than one. And I think it depends on the length of time as well.

For example, my wife and I would have no hesitation leaving our 13-year-old and our 15-year-old home alone for a few hours, if it were only the two of them (or only one of them). We also might be willing to leave our 10-year-old home alone for a short time by himself, though certainly no longer than an hour. But we would not leave all four of our boys (8, 10, 13, and 15) home together without adult supervision for more than 15 minutes, because there would be a high likelihood of conflicts between certain pairs of them that would spiral out of control.

 

[TheLittleLady]

By the time our son was a teen we would leave him overnight for a night or two at home. He grew up to be responsible and trustworthy.

 

[Phemie]

Also, times have changed. I think there are actually laws against leaving your child home below a certain age, and it was older than I expected.

In the province where I grew up that age was 13 back in the 60s. Before I reached that age we were not allowed to be home alone; if parents had to be absent on our return from school we had to go to our aunt’s next door.

I was doing the same with my own kids and was rather shocked when our daughter was asked to babysit someone’s 3 kids when we were still hiring a sitter for her and her two younger brothers.

 

[Brendea]

14 to be left alone here 15 to babysit

 

[13pollitos]

Some kids are ready at 7 or 8, but where we have lived the law stated 10 to be alone, 13 to babysit (military posts). Not many parents actually follow that though. I have some kindergarten students that walk home with second grade siblings and I know that some of them will be home alone for at least an hour or two before parents get there. Honestly, with my own kids, they were more trust worthy in elementary school (5-12 years) than they were in middle and early high school. When my oldest was 10 years old he could be trusted to watch the younger school age kids and I let him. I let them ride the bus home from elementary school and wait there for me on most days but when they started middle school I started sending them on the bus to boys and girls club instead. They enjoyed boys and girls club so I kept sending them through high school. I’m not sure why, but the elementary kids would obey the “home alone rules” such as go straight home, do your home work, eat a snack, don’t have friends over, no leaving the house, etc. and the sixth graders would suddenly forget what they were supposed to do. Of course the younger kids would rat them out.

 

[runningdude]

That is when most kids get pregnant, you know (after school, and before the parents get home).

I won’t say this is inaccurate, but it misleading. The vast majority of of teenage sex occurs overnight in one of the teen’s bedrooms, often with the parents home.

https://www.childtrends.org/news-release/where-and-when-do-teens-first-have-sex

If most pregnancies occur in the afternoon before the parents get home, it would only be due to a lack of birth control, which has a whole other set of moral implications.

 

[cmscms]

I think it depends on the kid. But I do think that kids get to an age (around 10) when they can be left alone and then they regress (around 12) when they need someone home. I say that because that is when they hit puberty. When I was a teenager, that is when the bullying really started (or maybe just started to hurt) and the peer pressure was unreal. I needed my mom there to listen about my day much more than when I was a few years younger. Sure I could fix my own snack, but I sure could deal with my feelings alone.

Also, it depends on the frequency. Sure there will be a day when parents are stuck and they will have to leave a kid alone. But that is the exception. To spend the whole summer vacatino alone is basically a waste of a kids summer and not a good idea. Lord knows what boredom would do to them. I would try to put them in a day camp or something

 

[PetraG]

The answer to the question depends both on the child and the circumstances, as the OP implies.
Are there trustworthy adults like neighbors in the vicinity if there is an emergency or a disaster, or is the child really alone?
Is the child the sort who could handle something unexpected? Is the child the sort who is generally trustworthy?
Is the child the sort who is happy to be alone or does the child get unduly anxious when alone?
Is the child going to be left in a safe neighborhood?
Is leaving the child home alone going to be a routine?
Is the child going to need to prepare any meals? If so, is the child competent at that?
Will the child be able to contact someone if they have questions? Will there be any siblings around?
Will friends be likely to drop by? How is that going to work?
And so on.
Having said that, the law has to be considered, and that varies from one jurisdiction to another, and usually even then there is an amount of time that a child who is legally old enough to be left alone can be left attended. That is the kind of thing you can call the local police department about. In our area, they said it was permissible to leave a ten-year old home alone for several hours in a secure place where the child could meet his or her own needs. Even if your child is totally capable of being left alone, you have to stay in the boundaries of what is legal.

In your case, OP, keep in mind that your parents were able to see how it was working out with you. If you seemed to tolerate it well, it was legal. If you had not tolerated it well or if they hadn’t prepared you for it by the expectations placed on you in the years prior to being left alone, they wouldn’t have been able to do it, even back then. Mileage does vary.

If you found that you didn’t tolerate it as well as your parents thought you did, that is something to consider before you leave your own child alone. As far as whether your parents were doing the right thing, you’d have to ask yourself about the situation and whether they exercised care to make certain everything was OK with you or if they did have a choice about the situation.

Children can be left home at any age for it is God who watches over them.

If the child comes to harm it is through their own sin and not even your presence would prevent that.

I will pray for you.

What? That’s supposed to pass for a Lasallian answer?
Be serious, this is a serious question.