Appropriate behavior for a Seminarian - Opinions?

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I will pray for you.👍

Above all enjoy it - by which I mean find joy in the experience.:cool:
 
AdamPeter said:
I would disagree.

It gives the wrong idea about someone who is supposed to be living in a certain manner.
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I don’t think so…if you were friends prior to entry, and they know you’re in formation, they’ll be under no illusion that you’re committing yourself to live celibate chastity. They’ll be comfortable knowing that you’re there as a friend, and because you are someone who is very publicly trying to live purely, they’ll be under no illusions about your intentions. The female friends I made during my discernment feel comfortable around me because I’m not the typical guy; they know I see them as real persons, and not as sex objects.

And don’t forget, there’s no threat of “giving the wrong idea” if you show up in your habit to have dinner with a friend… :cool:
 
Dating for seminarians is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of.

Dating is for those who are looking for a spouse. Like window shopping for a wife/husband.

A seminarian is engaged already. He is engaged to be married and be faithful to his future spouse (the Church). A seminarian might change his mind and break off his engagement, but while he is engaged he should be faithful to his future spouse.

Imagine a young man engaged to his girlfriend and dating others. If I was the girl, I’d break off with this lout. “If he steps out on me now, what will happen after our vows are taken?”

That is my opinion. Being a seminarian means a commitment is being made. The Priesthood is a serious vocation: The most beautiful and the most demanding of a man. It will separate the men from the boys.
 
Byrnwiga said:
Well, according to some priests I’ve spoken to (diocesan), the seminaries they went to encouraged them to date while in the seminary. It had something to do with discernment, I think.
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Apparently, during the 80’s, there was the notion that a seminarian should try various things and discern based on his experiences. That isn’t part of the current discernment and formation program, anymore… 😉
 
AdamPeter said:
I merely mentioned dating as I do know some seminarians apparently do this. I don’t particularly think it’s a good idea for a potential priest.
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Hmm… Eastern Rite Catholic seminarians, maybe?
 
Gorgias said:
Apparently, during the 80’s, there was the notion that a seminarian should try various things and discern based on his experiences. That isn’t part of the current discernment and formation program, anymore… 😉
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Well, I’m in Canada, and the indication is that this is still common practice. I’ll admit it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, so hopefully it’s just an example of ‘Canadian Catholicism’ rather than something global.

-Byrnwiga
 
Byrnwiga said:
Well, I’m in Canada, and the indication is that this is still common practice. I’ll admit it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, so hopefully it’s just an example of ‘Canadian Catholicism’ rather than something global.

-Byrnwiga
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Nope - I’m in Canada too, and was in formation in the 80’s and dating was definitely not part of the curriculum then:p
 
I know thats a different thing to enter seminary and religious life.

The reason I asked was to see how people expect seminarians to behave?

(Particularly in relation to women etc.)

I do have a good idea in my head of where the boundaries are.

And looking at some of the replies there is definitely some cultural differences between the US and Europe.

😉
 
What I have been told is that any distraction in your discernment process should be avoded - it may be political activism, meeting people of the opposite sex etc. I would be very upset if I saw a seminarian taking girls to actual dates, what a repulsive thought!
 
Misreading the original post I thought the AP was looking for advice.

Actually he’s looking to poll peoples’ opinions.

Most people say no dating, or any activity that looks like dating.

I do have one further note from my experience - any behaviour that a young lady can interpret to believe “He likes me” should be avoided too: or as soon as you notice that response in said young lady avoid her (you can’t help it if you’re a natural stud:D).
 
Byrnwiga said:
Well, according to some priests I’ve spoken to (diocesan), the seminaries they went to encouraged them to date while in the seminary. It had something to do with discernment, I think. I can’t quite remember.

-Byrnwiga
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Oh, mixed emotions here - I don’t believe they should date while they are in seminary - wouldn’t this be comprable to dating two women at once?

If I had received intrest a young man who was currently in relationship, I would ask him to sort his current relationship out and figure our what God wills - same with a seminarian. He is in a relationship already - with God and the Church. They should be his #1 priority.

God bless,
Chloe M.
 
LaMusicaSenior said:
Oh, mixed emotions here - I don’t believe they should date while they are in seminary - wouldn’t this be comprable to dating two women at once?

If I had received intrest a young man who was currently in relationship, I would ask him to sort his current relationship out and figure our what God wills - same with a seminarian. He is in a relationship already - with God and the Church. They should be his #1 priority.

God bless,
Chloe M.
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Agree 100%
 
thunderboom said:
I don’t think so…if you were friends prior to entry, and they know you’re in formation, they’ll be under no illusion that you’re committing yourself to live celibate chastity. They’ll be comfortable knowing that you’re there as a friend, and because you are someone who is very publicly trying to live purely, they’ll be under no illusions about your intentions. The female friends I made during my discernment feel comfortable around me because I’m not the typical guy; they know I see them as real persons, and not as sex objects.

And don’t forget, there’s no threat of “giving the wrong idea” if you show up in your habit to have dinner with a friend… :cool:
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The thing is that most men in religious formation won’t be able to go out to dinner with a friend (boy or girl) even if he is wearing a habit.
 
triumphguy said:
Misreading the original post I thought the AP was looking for advice.

Actually he’s looking to poll peoples’ opinions.

Most people say no dating, or any activity that looks like dating.

I do have one further note from my experience - any behaviour that a young lady can interpret to believe “He likes me” should be avoided too: or as soon as you notice that response in said young lady avoid her (you can’t help it if you’re a natural stud:D).
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Yep realized that myself. My opinion - no dating, no hanging with old girlfriends, no doing things that could result in new girlfriends. 😉
 
Nils said:
What I have been told is that any distraction in your discernment process should be avoded - it may be political activism, meeting people of the opposite sex etc. I would be very upset if I saw a seminarian taking girls to actual dates, what a repulsive thought!
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Excellent advice. Distractions are not just girls but also potentially some of the same things that drew you to religious life to begin with. But being overly involved with something outside your formation and outside the community being built can be a problem - even if it is pro-life cause, or saving the environment, or what-have-you.
 
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