Appropriate to change parishes over priest?

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As a relatively new catholic, I visit these boards often but to not tend to post. I do have a question about an issue that is really affecting my family. We have been attending our local parish since our acceptance into the church last year. Initially, so much was new (my wife and I are former evangelical protestants) that it took us quite a while to take it all in. This was very exciting for us! The only real concern we had was with the priest.

While he was a kind and patient soul he always performed the mass with little, if any, enthusiasm or energy. He acted as though he was simply going through a routine. His homilies are read straight from the paper they are printed on in a monotone voice. Recently, we have begun visiting other parishes and have found one that is much more engaging and uplifting.

We have many friends that we made through our introduction to the church, especially RCIA. We are reluctant to move and lose these friends, but now struggle to sit through a service with our priest.

I am basically asking for any advice or guidance that you wise souls could impart to me. I want to do the “right” thing for my family. Thank you all so much; you truly are the BEST!
 
It sounds like you are attending a Mass that is good but not engaging. Personally, I wouldn’t change parishes for that. I might change if there was widespread or egregious abuse, especially since I have impressionable children.

Our parish, however, had one of those free-wheeling, didn’t care about the GIRM, didn’t like Confession, preached about the need for women priest types. This was before my time but I am very grateful to the good and faithful parishioners who, during this time, met in each others homes and regularly prayed for God to send them a good and holy priest. 🙂 Maybe you could be that for your parish.
 
I understand the disappointment, but if I want great homilies I listen to Mass at the EWTN chapel. 😃

I attend Mass to receive Communion and to be part of a covenant community. Our homilies aren’t always inspiring but I WOULD change parishes in a heartbeat if we had a priest who wanted women clergy and didn’t care about the sacraments.
 
Depending on the size of the metro area in which you live…you can visit other parishes and still maintain your parishoner stautus at your home parish. We frequently would visit other parishes in the various cities in which we have lived to enjoy their musical programs, beautiful architecture and interesting homilists. It can be very invigorating to your faith life and also lend some appreciation for the benefits of friends, familiarity and support you enjoy at your home parish. Your attitude can make all the difference…look at it as an opportunity to expand and harmonize your faith experience.
 
Just remember, the celebration of Mass is for one purpose only, the reception of the Most Blessed Sacrament, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I have found that alot of older priests seem to have that less than enthusiastic way about them. Who knows why, as long as he is good confessor and you are receiving what is needed then do not worry. The monsignor at our Cathedral is not the most vibrant and also reads from a sheet but hey as long as continues to use the proper form from the GIRM and continues to be a good faithful priest I do not worry. If you want some good homilies try EWTN. Remember some our good priests are just tired and possibly a little beat down.😦
 
I imagine it would be very hard for someone from your background to have a priest who is not on fire for the Lord. But as other posters have said, the important thing is the Eucharist.

Maybe you are being called to do something about this problem either with prayer, or even encouragement for the priest.

It’s all about kissing frogs really. Maybe it is so long since anyone praised him for something in a homily that he has been suffering from a spiritual dryness. Find at least one good point in every homily that you can mention to him after Mass.

Why not invite the priest (& a couple of others) for a meal and give your conversion testimony. Ask him what it was that drew him to the priesthood. Talk about how “fired-up” you get about being able to receive the Eucharist now, as a Catholic.

I’m sure you get the point I am trying to make.
 
Master_Yoda said:
As a relatively new catholic, I visit these boards often but to not tend to post. I do have a question about an issue that is really affecting my family. We have been attending our local parish since our acceptance into the church last year. Initially, so much was new (my wife and I are former evangelical protestants) that it took us quite a while to take it all in. This was very exciting for us! The only real concern we had was with the priest.

While he was a kind and patient soul he always performed the mass with little, if any, enthusiasm or energy. He acted as though he was simply going through a routine. His homilies are read straight from the paper they are printed on in a monotone voice. Recently, we have begun visiting other parishes and have found one that is much more engaging and uplifting.

We have many friends that we made through our introduction to the church, especially RCIA. We are reluctant to move and lose these friends, but now struggle to sit through a service with our priest.

I am basically asking for any advice or guidance that you wise souls could impart to me. I want to do the “right” thing for my family. Thank you all so much; you truly are the BEST!
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What about the rest of the parish, the members? Are you part of the community with them?

Keep in mind that parish priest often get reassigned without warning. This priest could be gone next week, then you would’ve changed parishes for nothing. Also, he could end up being assigned to the new parish you joined, then what?

Also, you are receiving the sacrament at Mass. It doesn’t matter if the priest is exciting or boring. In fact, in my experience, some of the most exciting priest, turned out to be horrible priest, while the less dynamic ones, turned out to be the most holy ones.

I personally would not change parishes because of a boring priest.

Jim
 
you might try, first, before moving for this reason, really listening to what the priest is saying, not the way he says it, and this is good advice for all but especially new Catholics, listen, really listen to all parts of the Mass. The readings and homily of course, but the prayers, the Eucharistic prayer in particular, the responses, the antiphons. In every Mass, no matter how bland, exciting, moving, banal or outwardly uninspired, there is a message for you, not always where you would expect it. If you have a holy priest who is doing a good job in this most demanding of vocations and Mass is celebrated properly if not necessarily in the most uplifting way, get on your knees and thank God for what you have.

It is also unfortunate that you, as a new Catholic and new CAFer, will no doubt run across dozens or hundreds of threads with complaints about liturgical abuse, dissident priests and other ills, but it will serve the purpose of making you see what you experience now in a new light. The grass is not always greener.

That being said, by all means, attend Mass at surrounding parishes, and at different times, as the different Masses sometimes have different “flavors”. But giving up good friends in the parishioners you have now is also going to be hard to do. Could you think about giving it a year or so in your current parish, and especially to finding one ministry or apostolate in which you will become active? This year is critical to your conversion and the fruits will be evident later.
 
What about a priest who changed words in the creed and another prayer at Mass? What should be done then? I really don’t want to change my parish…but sometimes find my attitude is’nt good.
 
johnknoesel said:
Just remember, the celebration of Mass is for one purpose only, the reception of the Most Blessed Sacrament, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I have found that alot of older priests seem to have that less than enthusiastic way about them. Who knows why, as long as he is good confessor and you are receiving what is needed then do not worry. The monsignor at our Cathedral is not the most vibrant and also reads from a sheet but hey as long as continues to use the proper form from the GIRM and continues to be a good faithful priest I do not worry. If you want some good homilies try EWTN. Remember some our good priests are just tired and possibly a little beat down.😦
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I disagree that the Mass is for one purpose only, the reception of The Eucharist. It’s purpose is for the glorification of God and the sanctification of those present. By saying the only purpose is the reception of communion is to basically say that those attending who cannot receive are wasting their time, there is no purpose in them being there…which is not true. There are many ways we are sanctified at Mass. Yes the reception of the EUcharist is the high point, but we must remember that we nourished at the Table of the Word as well as the Table of the Eucharist. It is important for priests to at least attempt to give good homilies and not just read from a “'canned homily.” For many this is the only time they come in contact with the Scriptures or hear an exegesis on the texts. Boring or unenthusiastic presiders can cause people to become dis-interested in the liturgy. I have been lucky to have some very fine preachers in the parishes I have been involved in, but if I were faced day after day with poor homilies, I just might go looking elsewhere. As it is now, I plan which mass I will attend based on the presider, knowing who will challenge me the most with his homilies.
 
Master_Yoda said:
As a relatively new catholic, I visit these boards often but to not tend to post. I do have a question about an issue that is really affecting my family. We have been attending our local parish since our acceptance into the church last year. Initially, so much was new (my wife and I are former evangelical protestants) that it took us quite a while to take it all in. This was very exciting for us! The only real concern we had was with the priest.

While he was a kind and patient soul he always performed the mass with little, if any, enthusiasm or energy. He acted as though he was simply going through a routine. His homilies are read straight from the paper they are printed on in a monotone voice. Recently, we have begun visiting other parishes and have found one that is much more engaging and uplifting.

We have many friends that we made through our introduction to the church, especially RCIA. We are reluctant to move and lose these friends, but now struggle to sit through a service with our priest.

I am basically asking for any advice or guidance that you wise souls could impart to me. I want to do the “right” thing for my family. Thank you all so much; you truly are the BEST!
Click to expand...
Ask the priest about his childhood and to share it with the gospel homily ours does this, and your priest may just be waiting to be invited to share, he just needs asking.
Ours likes jokes so some tells him some and he then shares it before the homily so he is not neglecting the liturgy.

Some have asked him to speak on sin more but be prepared if he does. 😃

Ours also talks about what he did during the week.
Sure it is in the newsletter/bulletin but it is nice to hear it from him.
D.
 
Although I agree with the other comments posted, if you really feel uncomfortable, changing parishes is a good idea. As far as I know (somebody feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), changing parishes or even alternating between two or three is not strictly forbidden, although consistently going to the same parish allows you to be a part of a spiritual community, and is ideal.

That aside, I know where you’re coming from. All through my youth, my parish had a very energetic, funny, and eloquent priest. Then, out of the blue, he was sent away and replaced by our former parish priest, who is possibly the most boring speaker on the face of the Earth. On top of that, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself very much when saying mass, which I find quite sad–if I were a priest, which I may well be someday, the mass would be my greatest pleasure.

So I pray for him, try to have discussions with him on issues that are important to me as a Catholic, and compliment him. And guess what’s been happening over the past year or so–he’s paying more attention during the Eucharistic liturgy, telling less jokes during his homily, and I actually think he’s getting more orthodox. Believe or not, I think that he just needs to know that what he does is appreciated here on Earth.

I still have a long way to go, though–the other day, as we sat in a broomcloset that is sometimes used as a makeshift confessional in our Cathedral, he was reading his missal as I enumerated my sins!

To conclude, if you have a confessor or spiritual director from another parish whom you are more comfortable with for those purposes, by all means use him for said purposes, but unless you are really uncomfortable, stay in your own parish for mass, and try to help your priest. You were converted yourself, whether by God or man, and I think that if you try, you can help this priest re-vert to a more charismatic state. After all, isn’t every priest brimming with good will and holiness right after ordination?
 
As others have pointed out, you can visit other parishes and still be a member of the parish into which you were received. Take your time.

And Father may lack energy for a lot of reasons.
 
Another post to say that moving because your priest is a bit dry, isn’t the best possible of ideas. There are lots of wonderful resources to help you get more out of the Mass. Try Scott Hahn’s book on this or look at your local Catholic bookstore or online for something else. Yes, the homily is important, but it isn’t the “summit” of the Mass–that is the Eucharist. Pray for your priest and if possible spend time in devotion before the Blessed Sacrament.
 
It is so encouraging to received so many helpful replies so quickly. Reading the replies, I realized that there is a part of the puzzle that I left out. My wife and I are blessed with recently becoming pregnant. This is our second pregnancy and we could not be happier. What has forced this simmering issue to the forefront is my wife’s adamant refusal to have our local priest conduct the Baptism.

She feels that he is simply going through the motions and it turns her off to going to Mass. When we attend other parishes, she always notes how mass is more spritual to her. I feel that with encouragement, attention, and possibly a “group effort” changes might be made, but as other parishoners have told me our priest is old and very set in his ways.

I hope that this does not sound like whinning or is petty. It is a difficult situation. The solution that my wife offered was to start attending the parish where our first daughter attends school. I have struggled with this for some time and truly do appreciate all of your kind responses and look forward to more advice.🙂
 
Welcome to the Church!! And congrats on your new baby!!

One thing that can be hard on converts is change of Priests. When you find a Parish and a Priest you really like - then, the Priest is moved to another Parish. Priests are moved every few years - sometimes more often. Know that no matter how great the Priest is, or how dry he is - the Sacramets are the same.

That being said, find a Parish where you can get involved and become part of the life of the Parish - sounds like where your child is in school would be a good place to make your home 👍
 
As you must know since you visit the CAF, don’t select a church based on its ability to entertain you.
 
Feel free to change parishes, but shop first.

My wife and I (She was a relatively new convert.) went to our geographic parish and simply were ignored and not fed. We looked around and we ended up in a fantasic parish downtown. We are members there and have been for three years. There are parishes where priests know how to preach and are “on fire” for the Lord.

Find one.

God bless!

John
 
Warm up the karaoke…“Feelings, nothing more than feelings…”

Feelings are not fact. The fact is that this is a caring priest who just happens to not be a “performer” and older to boot. He is there to administer the sacraments and celebrate the Mass, not be the entertainment or leave your wife with good (or bad) feelings.

How is the rest of the parish? Can you play a part in it? Is there a ministry for you? How is that in comparison with the parish where your first daughter attends school? What is special about that parish in comparison to the one you currently attend? How can you be a part of your new parish, besides attending Mass, having a baby baptized and chipping in monetarily? How would that be different from what you do presently in the not-so-shiny parish?

Only when you have those answers will you be ready to move on or stay put, feelings or not.
 
Master_Yoda said:
I hope that this does not sound like whinning or is petty. It is a difficult situation. The solution that my wife offered was to start attending the parish where our first daughter attends school. I have struggled with this for some time and truly do appreciate all of your kind responses and look forward to more advice.🙂
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If your daughter attends a parish school, it would be good to join that Parish.

Lux
 
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