Are all DREs like this?

[Col40]

Hi!

I’m new to this forum…and I’m wondering if anyone else has this issue.

Our parish has both a pre-k through 8 school and a separate rel ed program–the rel ed program is conducted during non-school hours, though at times, there are school events taking place. Our school students have religious instruction, in class, every day.Our DRE is not affliated with the school or the children who attend there–other than for two events surrounding the coordination of the grade school sacraments (we have a “community” service that combines school and rel ed programs–but our school teachers do the sacremental preparation in class so it’s not HER teacher who instructs them); her office is located in the school facility.

Here’s the problem: This woman is anti-Catholic schools. She is a huge public school supporter, she talks down our education to potential parents (which is on-par, if not higher standard than the so-called prestigious district we’re located in). This DRE is highly snide about all things in our school, including that her program is EQUAL to what our kids are learning–I know better than that! I taught her rel ed 6th grade class for four years, and I can tell you–my daughter knew more in 2nd grade than these kids do. And she’s EXTREMELY resentful of anything the school does—she’s all but said she wishes the school did not exist. If we have an event or need to use the facilities when her program is running–she becomes very passive-aggressive if not going into a complete hissy fit. She goes on and on about how the grandparents of her rel ed students built this as a parish building, not to be a school.

Her last job before this was a DRE at a parish that did not have a school and therefore, their facility was a rel ed center…she didn’t have to share (I recently heard that that parish couldn’t wait for her to leave either)

Our school families pay tuition, bust our butts in fundraising to keep that school open–we have less and less supplemental income from the parish each year, and that amount kicked in by the parish would still be needed to maintain the building. All of the school supplies in those classrooms–erasers, chalk, decorations, crayons, etc…come out of the parents’ or teachers pockets–not paid for by the parish and “parents and grandparents” of the rel ed program. So yes, we do get upset when the rel ed teachers and students use our materials. The DRE doesn’t instill–respect other people’s property–she justs gets all defensive and makes fun of it to her teachers—“oh, here–I’m giving you chalk for Xmas because we know the teachers here won’t share!” She even called one teacher (now our principal) the “princess” who was “too selfish” to save room on her blackboard for the rel ed teacher to use…um…not true.

Meanwhile–her program is completely boring–she only wants “low maintenance” volunteers–meaning she doesn’t like teachers who might actually want to ignite a fire in their students and get them interested in their faith. She discouraged me when I tried to do projects with my students, or let them contribute to class asking questions, not just answering them. Same thing with Children’s Liturgy—myself and three other moms all taught it at one time and we really had the kids excited–now she doesn’t want “school moms” to teach it–she feels she needs “rel ed” parents to do it so that ALL the kids feel welcome. We never did anything that suggested otherwise…we included all kids equal. Now she only has a 15 year old teaching…

I won’t even get into the confirmation program…I’ve already decided I will homeschool my kids when that time comes…she treats the kids that graduated from our school like second class citizens and says, “you can always tell the grads of this school becasue they think they know EVERYTHING”–well, let’s see–they had religious instruction every day from Pre-K through 8 grade–they didn’t drop out after First Communion and not return until 9th…they didn’t get to miss classes during the entire hockey season, then show up when they felt like it and disrupt class. I did on that one call the diocese and speak to the head of the Life Long Faith Formation who agreed with me that her program was lackluster for not only our grads for whom it’s remedial instruction, but actually went against the current thinking on adolescent/high school programs.:ehh:

She’s an angry woman in general—a former drill sarge or something who feels like feelings should never be expressed, emotions (other than anger–which she shows and yells at kids) should never been shown. One of our school teachers died suddenly a few years ago, I was in the sacristy the next morning getting ready to be a eucharistic minister–I was still crying–she yelled at me and told me I need to toughen up and not let anyone see me cry! Are we kidding??? I wasn’t even teaching the Children’s Lit program that morning–so what business was it of hers if I was crying–most of the parish was crying with us! We’ve (myself, other school parents, teachers, the principal) have told the pastor about her attitude–but he turns a deaf ear, claims she does her job, he can’t do anything about it.

I feel sorry for the kids in the rel ed program—why should they even show? All they do is read out loud from a book and if she shows up to teach–she loves to hear her own voice, that’s for sure. I feel absolute ANGER for the school itself–the disrespect she shows the parish and school. . .

Does anyone else have this issue?

 

[kage_ar]

As a religious ed volunteer, I am sorry this kind of conflict is taking place. Please, sit down and speak with your Pastor about it, this kind of divisive junk does nothing but harm the Church.

 

[Prague]

Wow! I would talk to other’s who feel the same as you do, and all of you talk with your Pastor PDQ!
This is just all wrong.
Good luck

 

[JuliaT]

Ours is just like that. In fact I was about half way through your post before I was sure you you weren’t referring to the same person!
My kids attend the parish school. I have to admit that it goes both ways.
I cringe every time I hear one of the kids say that something is missing from their desk, and that it must be the RE kids who stole it. The teachers are very good and say things like “Aren’t we lucky that we can share our classroom with other children who want to learn about Jesus?” The also make sure that the kids appreciate the fact that they can God at school.

 

[Col40]

Both…our pastor isn’t the most “pastoral” person. He’s too into his own money worries about the parish and school, his own problems (his health, his aging parents) to listen well. Our principal and our former parish council president have already approached him, as have other parents. His response is that she does a lot. It isn’t that he thinks she’s good; I can tell he doesn’t care for her style much either. But he’s afraid of three things: 1) having to replace her and finding someone to cover meanwhile; 2)bad “publicity” that always follows when someone high profile is gone–she has some loyal supporters, he can’t discuss "why"for legal reasons, so her story would be the only one heard, and 3) he doesn’t want to pay unemployment. She’s got him snowed into thinking he needs her more than she needs him. And, he’s not well liked by a lot of the parishioners because of his attitude–so people may think it’s him not her, if they didn’t know the story.

She’s actually a member (and big supporter) of a parish that was supposed to merge with ours during diocesan restructuring. Before the merger talks, that parish’s pastor (past retirement age) had shown open dislike toward our pastor and indicated as much to his parishioners. The merger planning started, and our parish did our due dilegence to put together reports for the diocese; their pastor told them to sit tight–he’d take care of it because “that fat *$%%^ isn’t getting our money”. In the end, the merger never went through, both parishes stood alone. I think as she was on our parish committee, she did some “spying.”

Vacation bible school has dwindled from the 60 kids when it first started, when I was her assistant, to 12 last summer; only 9 kids stayed the entire week. My son went, but by the third day–he had “headaches” every AM; he ended up quitting mid week. I will never send him again and another mom said the program has deteriorated and staled–same stuff, even if the theme changes. Her idea of “lessons”? Teachers spend 30 minutes reading a bible-based story from a picture book, then have the kids color a picture. That’s how she wants Children’s Lit to be, too. She didn’t like when I would engage them with open ended questions and allowed them to participate; that made them “too wild”–not out of control but showing enthusiasm and getting excited–which to me means I’m reaching them.

Her favorite volunteer is an ex-nun in her 80s, used to teach music at the school and is equally bitter with the school --forced retirement . She’s teaching First Communion—and the kids are running amok in class. (While she wants her teachers to control the class, the DRE is never available to discipline. She once expected me to call two parents of boys who would not listen and openly mocked me and other students–all because I complained. The one parent I did reach was unwilling to believe it and didn’t care since it was just “church school”. DRE didn’t back me up.)

First Communion is another issue. Before our current pastor came, our beloved retired pastor had the sacramental celebrations separate–the school class had their First Communion, the rel ed program had their own. From what parents who had children old enough to be part of that era have said, it was nicer because the families all knew the kids as they’ve journeyed together on their faith formation. Now, the First Communion (and first Penance) celebrations are merged–a supposedly a Vatican II requirement. The students still prepare separately, save for one retreat and one practice, then the big day. The combined groups are LARGE, I started hearing about what a nightmare First Conmunion was–families would show up two hours early–save four rows, etc… it was loud, and out of control with pushing to get pics. I didn’t just hear this from other parents–I heard this from the DRE and her teacher, who would smirk about it…I suggested we could be more proactive and find away to alleviate the issue and got laughed at…that just made me mad so I called the pastor the year before my daughter was supposed to make hers, we fought about the separation issue, with him telling me I was listening to gossip. We did talk about what other parishes do to control noise, etc… In the end, I never told him it was the DRE who gave me the biggest earful–now, fast forward to the parent meetings for my daughter’s class. One of the school parents asked her if there was some way we could assign seating, etc. so that families didn’t abuse saving rows. Well, the DRE’s eyes just rolled, she made this HUGE sigh, and prattled on about how that’s the way it is, she can’t do anything about it. I stood up and said–YES YOU CAN and talked about a lottery drawing for rows, each family only gets one—she was about to shut me up when the pastor stood up and agreed with me, if everyone else was OK with it (which the rel ed and shcool families equally applauded the idea). We did it, it was nicer. And she whined and moped about the “extra work” for the entire prep time after that…

A friend whose daughter was in the confirmation program is totally annoyed with the DRE because in a class DRE taught, she told the kids that “marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be” and that you could be in a serious relationship without marriage. Aren’t we supposed to be telling our kids to save their virginity for their spouse with whom they’ll be united for life by the Sacrament of Marriage? While she has an adult child, the DRE has never been married.

The only thing I can do now is pray that she quits. It pains me to see her fuel negativity towards our school because she wants it gone. Pray for us…please. Pray she leaves on her own accord SOON so that we can have an energetic person whose love of the Lord accepts volunteers with energy and enthusiasm, and voices of children expressing their love of faith with glee…not fear.

 

[puzzleannie]

if national standards were being followed (like, yeah, that is going to happen) the Director of Religious Education in a parish would be just that, and would oversee RE in both the school and parish RE/PSR/CCD programs, according to diocesan guidelines, which are almost always the same for both parish and school–same approved texts, same curriculum guidelines, same sacramental guidelines etc.

a lot depends on the diocese. in most places, despite what national standards for DREs envision, the schools and Catholic school depts are very jealous of their standing, train their own religion teachers, by-passing diocesan training etc, so there are in effect two parallel RE programs in most dioceses – one parish, one school.

The more parochial school becomes out of reach for most Catholic families, the more the divide will increase between parish and school, and the harder fought will be the turf battles.

In defense of the DRE she has probably been shut out by the school administration, locally or at the diocesan level, and at least half the blame for the divisiveness rests with the school. IMO and IME (in my experience) DRE’s don’t do much to help the situation, either.

Where any parish with a school should be sharing so much–facitilies, resources, including trained teachers–which would be good stewardship and good for parish involvement and community-building, this almost never happens, to the detriment of both programs. And also to the detriment of parish–school relations. So schools in effect often operate as isolated islands with a bunker mentality within the larger parish.

for instance in almost every diocese the DRE is supposed to oversee sacramental prep for all children, school and RE, as well as any parent/sponsor meetings. This almost never happens. Children are supposed to celebrate sacraments in their parish, with their family, not in school class groups. But this again almost never happens.

Catholic schools should be the gold standard, and my job should not even exist. In a parish with a true spirituality of stewardship (i.e. tithing) the parish could afford to pay all or most of the cost of Catholic school education for all its children. Since that attitude is manifestly NOT shared by the majority of pastors, or of most Catholics, it follows it will not be shared by DREs or other staff, either.

 

[monicatholic]

we’ve homeschooled for 19 years and my kids have been in parish religious ed programs throughout. i’ve been a religious ed volunteer for most of those years, these past 10 teaching confirmation.

now I’m a DRE and I work in a parish that has a preK through 8 catholic school. i love the teachers. i like the program a lot

op, I gotta tell you, while your DRE seems to have some serious personality issues and it sounds like she’s bad at her job, you’re coming off with a whole lotta our kids /their kids stuff, too. you’re sounding fairly elitist and devisive yourself. that ‘lower class CCD program"’ attitude is a charity killer for sure.

instead of concerning yourself with all the debased politicking of the thing, (who spied and who’s got cash) get a group of folks together to pray for the succss of the program. there are kids in that program (and there are kids in your classroom, too) who are not getting any religion at home. those kids need that program to work. their souls may depend on the foundatiion they receive there.

then get your pals together and swamp the program. make an impressive presence. get things done your way. get somebody into that first communion class and, without asking, help out. get a few people in there, really. without gossip and inuendo, get parents in there, too.

then, any little broken stapler that happens during religious ed time, offer it up.

you know, when i was in catholic school, we used to just about clear out the classroom on tuesday afternoons because CCD would be coming in. the message was “these kids are criminals.” good charity, that.

.

 

[puzzleannie]

bottom line, if you want to change the program, get involved, not only at the parish but at the diocesan level. monica’s advice is good, swamp the program

if she is guilty of real abuse, and she sure sounds borderline, her offenses MUST be documented and reported, in writing, with complete facts, times, dates what was said and done, to the pastor and in duplicate to the vicar general of the diocese, or to whoever is in charge of child safety complaints.

a child who does not want to participate because of “headaches” is a real red flag.

 

[Col40]

Monica:

I didn’t off with the ours/theirs—it was teaching that brought me to that level–watching the rudeness with which she regarded our parish school, our principals, our teaching staff–how she and her elitist public school teachers would comment in the rel ed office how “Oh, Catholic school teachers are only teachers who couldn’t cut it in a public school–if they were any good, they’d be in a public school making real money.” These teachers work for districts in which the teacher’s unions are very powerful in more getting money for salaries/retirement/benefits and they do a lot of public manipulation–their battle cry is “you get the education you pay for.” Um…our school’s teachers are equally school and certified–and COMMITTED to education, not their retirement plan. (I know this isn’t all school districts–but the one our school is located in is). FYI–the DRE wants to teach at the public school–she has done long term subbing…

I’m not elitist–but I also feel like you can’t compare the religious instruction aspect of it and say it’s the “same” because you use the same book.

And the teachers aren’t complaining about one stapler–it’s theft out of desks, hair clippings left all over after the middle school session.

It’s not that the parents of our school are “elitist”–our kids are friends with and play with the same kids who attend the rel ed program. We’re friends with their parents. It’s not rel ed vs. Catholic education. It’s DRE against all that is our parish school. And we’ve had enough…

And as far as swamping the program–she’s only letting “public school” parents volunteer…and yes, the pastor is aware of it.

And yes, to the other poster–I’ve got other people watching her and we plan to document…she’s up to something now, we just need to catch her.

 

[Col40]

FYI–

One thing that REALLY is unfair is to ever call parents of Catholic school children “elitist”. That is totally untrue. These are parents who are sacrificing in order for their children to have an education that embraces their faith values day in day out, in every subject…while school districts are telling Catholics and other Christians to stifle their view points because they are “offensive” to non-Christians. And it’s a lesson these children are learning. I once told a story about the “In God We Trust” being on a penny…and one student raised his hand and said, “We shouldn’t have that on money–it might offend an athethist.” I do not make this up.

 

[Col40]

Thanks Julia…

And it’s funny–we don’t blame the RE kids for everything either—the bigger thefts we’re pretty sure are from an outside cleaning crew and yes, that’s being documented. . . I’m voting for nanny cams! I’m sure a parent would notice if their child suddenly came home with a case of water or pop, or a new digital camera (all recent items to go missing).

And our teachers don’t speak ill of the program in front of the school students, they just lock up stuff before the program starts–it’s the DRE who mocks our faculty and staff for doing this–comments like, “oh you’d better not leave a spec on the floor or you-know-who will be on our backs.” No–the answer should be, “we all share this facility and we must all respect,it…you wouldn’t want someone to sit at your desk at school and go through your things, would you?” But it’s not…

Case in point–we had an open house, the rel ed confirmation program was taking place–our principal had put out candy for the people coming in and they cleaned it out—in 10 minutes…

 

[ack]

A somewhat unrelated comment which isn’t going to help you solve your problem:

You know, I’ve read enough threads like this one on CAF that I’m glad that our parish DOESN’T have a school. It seems like parishes with schools always end up with some kind of power struggle between the school and the non-school parishioners, or a fight over resources between the school and the parish. (and the pastor always gets caught in the middle.)

We might not have a school, but at least our parish and our pastor can focus on the basics of providing the sacraments and building a community, instead of fighting turf wars like this one.

 

[Catholic90]

We have a parish school, and we lock up anything we don’t want the RE kids/teachers touching, using, taking, or messing with. That pretty much means all markers, pencils, pens, paper, etc.

One RE group once ‘fed’ the classroom fishtank…with about 1/2 a bottle of fish food.
Another group likes to rearrange all desks and never puts them back the way they are found, despite being given a seating chart. (all desks have names on them).
Other teachers allow their RE students to eat in the classroom, despite big signs out the rooms “No food allowed”. This is for several reasons…some school kids have allergies and one never knows what snack foods were brought in, leaving peanut or nut residue on the desk, and another is that we have mice issues. So, no food means fewer mice. Food means mice. Besides, classes are 45 minutes. The teachers seem to think the kids can’t go for 45 minutes without eating something.

This is a pet peeve of our school, too. Ironically, the vast number of volunteers for various church activities come from the school kids, NOT the RE kids.

 

[Col40]

if national standards were being followed (like, yeah, that is going to happen) the Director of Religious Education in a parish would be just that, and would oversee RE in both the school and parish RE/PSR/CCD programs… Catholic schools should be the gold standard, and my job should not even exist. In a parish with a true spirituality of stewardship (i.e. tithing) the parish could afford to pay all or most of the cost of Catholic school education for all its children. Since that attitude is manifestly NOT shared by the majority of pastors, or of most Catholics, it follows it will not be shared by DREs or other staff, either.

I think you summed it up correctly…it’s a power struggle that shouldn’t be there and it comes down money. Catholic school parents are seeing rapid increases in tuition, mandated fundraising from an HSA perspective (like six figures!). We have older parishioners on the finance committee who complain about the school being a “drain”…it’s like you want to scream—WHERE WOULD YOU ALL BE IF YOU DIDN’T GO TO A CATHOLIC SCHOOL? Back when the loudest complainers were in school–it was nuns and religious who taught–and it was paid for by the parish. I was a public school student, so was my husband, so were a lot of parents of kids in the school–because in our generation, our parents saw the changeover to laity and thought public ed combined with RE was equal–we remember how little of our faith we learned in RE and that’s why we sacrifice to ensure our kids have a school that embraces our faith.

Our pastor does follow the “community” sacraments, as I noted. The DRE coordinates all of it–for school and parish–meetings, retreats, etc… and goes out of her way to exclude the school teachers—I was appalled when my daughter’s 2nd grade teacher–a sister on sabbatical, was told to sit at the back of the church, while the RE teacher was given all the credit as the “penance teacher”…this woman never even taught our kids…

The school does try to include her–I know she gets invites to faculty lunches/dinners/events, the HSA teacher dinner, bonuses and birthday gifts from the HSA…our principal even included her in the faculty pictures on the wall until the DRE got rude with her and made it clear she didn’t work for her–she worked for the parish. The DRE has joined some other non-teaching staff who find the new principal too demanding in spreading some more negativity.

The curriculum is the same book, but the school teaches it in class four days a week for 45 mins, with Mass on Friday, , so the school students get through the entire program–including assessments and grades and mandatory attendence for all grade levels. The RE program–there’s no requirement for attendance other than sacramental prep years; grades 4 through 8–it’s merely recommended. By my final year of teaching RE, I could have had as many as 30 kids in class (27, plus 3 who brought friends from their sleepovers the night before–it was a Saturday morning class) or 10 kids (hockey, school stuff)—I never knew until that morning–great for lesson planning, huh? I gave up giving homework or tests because they never came back and I was told by the DRE that I didn’t need to test, and if I did, make them “easy” so as not to crush egos…by that last year, she stopped doing report cards, too–so there was no teeth to it. She knew that but just As a teacher, my only way to measure how the kids were “getting” it was their enthusiasm level…how much I could engage them in conversation, activities—and then I had to stop that because we had kids cheering one day during a game I had created and the DRE stopped in and yelled at them for being loud, and at me in front of them. She did the same thing later in the year because three kids went to get water and one went to the bathroom–she didn’t want the to go to the bathroom because they’re “only there for an hour–at 11, they can hold it”…the room was horribly dry and it was middle of winter so we had coughers–yes, I risked the “wanderers” but–I’m also not cleaning up a mess if it’s real, either–and I’m not going to embarrass a kid by not allowing him or her to go for basic human needs, KWIM?

RE teachers are encouraged to get trained, but other than VIRTUS, no one has actually gone for training–I read some of the books, did my research on-line…but the DRE did nothing to train us–just gave us a book and some guidelines. I learned after the first year of VBS, when she started to get angry about the teachers who felt the book reading wasn’t engaging enough and she called them “high maintenance volunteers” that she didn’t want to deal with and wouldn’t ask back (I pulled ideas off the internet and slipped them to them) that I wasn’t going to bother.

As far as facilities go, no one has, as she suggested we have, made noise that RE should go find it’s own building. The school families have only asked that personal belongings be respected, the faculty that their classrooms be left as they were found–no messes (I used to be the only RE teacher who would go through, and straighten out desks, pick up the little balls of paper that were scattered) No one has asked her NOT to have her program–at most, on rare occassions, she’s been asked to have her students go directly to their classrooms, rather than gather in the school cafeteria for an opening 5 minutes of prayer and announcements with the DRE (most are so grateful when they don’t have to do that.)

I don’t think our principal or teachers would be unnerved if the right DRE was there to guide the RE portion–even if it included working with our staff (since volunteers aren’t coming in every day–know what I mean?)–but to have this woman with a giant chip on her shoulder— I’m trying to find ways to make sure my younger child–whose coming up on his penance next year–has limited contact with her.

 

[Col40]

Ironically, the vast number of volunteers for various church activities come from the school kids, NOT the RE kids.

YUP—over 75% of our altar servers are kids who attend the parish school. . .even if they end up transferring at some point–I think in the year my daughter trained–only one was from the RE program, the other 10 were her classmates. And yes, it’s offered to the RE students as well–the DRE comments on it all the time but those permissions just get dumped in the hallways.

Same thing with young adult volunteers, and parent volunteers–most are from the parish school. . .that’s why for Children’s Lit–there were several school parents willing to do it and she wanted an equal number of RE parents–and none showed interest. She hasn’t included the parish school parents this year because of it…

And our kindergarten teacher lost all her fish one year when the RE teacher unplugged the aquarium to do something and never plugged it back in.

 

[monicatholic]

Ironically, the vast number of volunteers for various church activities come from the school kids, NOT the RE kids.

YUP—over 75% of our altar servers are kids who attend the parish school.

FYI-- not elitist? give me a break. this is the most uncharitable thread i’ve read i a looong time.

here’s an FYI. those classrooms belong to the parish-- not to the teachers, who are, in fact, employed by the parish. i’ve killed plenty of my own fish-- hardly an offense against the fifth commandment.

sorry you’re having such a tough time. the trouble stems from having a weak pastor, but continues with your uncharitable responses.

a folk tale went like this: a gatekeeper for a small village met some people coming in. they asked him what the villagers were like. he asked them, “how was the place you came from?” they responded, “the people were nasty, useless, untrustworthy folk.” the gatekeeper said, “better move on then. you’ll find the same types here.” another group of travelers came to the gate and inquired about the villagers within. the gatekeeper asked them about the people they had recently left. the newcomers replied, 'they were wonderful, caring people. we were sorry to have to leave them." the gatekeep said, “you will find the same such people within the walls of this village. welcome and be happy here.”

so to answer your thread title: yes. in fact, Colo, all DREs are like this.

 

[Col40]

FYI-- here’s an FYI. those classrooms belong to the parish-- not to the teachers, who are, in fact, employed by the parish. i’ve killed plenty of my own fish-- hardly an offense against the fifth commandment.

sorry you’re having such a tough time. the trouble stems from having a weak pastor, but continues with your uncharitable responses.

so to answer your thread title: yes. in fact, Colo, all DREs are like this.

Um–the building is the parishes, the stuff that the school teachers/HSA members use their own money to buy are not community property. And you’re forgetting–no one from the school is disagreeing with use of the building or classrooms—it’s going into to the desks and taking stuff out, rummaging through the teachers’ supplies and consuming materials. It’s the lack of respect. The RE locks up her office when she’s not there and keeps an inventory of anything she has and points the finger back.

I’m not being uncharitable–I’m just fed up with a this individual. The school and parish co-existed peacefully for years with different DREs and until this woman arrived, no one thought twice about it. When I grew up, as a child who WENT TO RE, we were taught to respect the property. We were instructed that this was a classroom and we needed to keep it neat. We also accepted that our friends attending the Catholic school had much more in-class instruction and therefore were able to be confirmed earlier, etc. . Until this DRE showed up, no one was territorial.

You are right about one thing—the pastor in this case is a total wimp–he needs to be able to listen to all concerns and help facilitate–and he needs to look at this situation to see how his lack of involvement has created turf wars.

And I DID volunteer for the program for 7 years—5 years teaching and an additional 2 years after still leading Children’s Lit…I’m done with the drama. My husband is thrilled because he saw the issues before I did and totally distrusted this woman.

And if being concerned that we have an individual in our parish/school who is poison, whose program is lackluster, makes me an elitist—then I’ll take it.

 

[mommamia]

Both of you (monicatholic and Col40) are coming across as uncharitable.

NO all DRE’s are not that way. It sounds to me like she has some issues. We have a school, and the RE and school kids get along great! The parish sponsors sports teams which are open to all members of the parish, not just the school kids, they open most school activities to both homeschooled and public schooled kids. We do combine the RE and school kids for sacraments, and it has never caused a problem.

here’s an FYI. those classrooms belong to the parish-- not to the teachers, who are, in fact, employed by the parish. i’ve killed plenty of my own fish-- hardly an offense against the fifth commandment.

I DO NOT think it is too much to ask that the RE classes respect the belongings of others. Teachers often put a lot of their own money into materials, and parents also donate a lot to the school. I would be very upset if someone took my child’s school supplies out of her desk. Yes I know the teachers work for the parish, but I PAY to have my children in that school. And I am not expecting to much to ask that the supplies purchased to teach my children are respected.

Please look inside yourself, don’t let this woman cause you to think less of the RE kids. It really does, whether you meant it to or not come across as if you think that the school kids are somehow better. Pray about it, a lot.

 

[kage_ar]

These threads always turn into how public schooled/RE kids don’t know the Faith.

Kids learn the Faith from their parents first and foremost, not the school teacher, not the RE teacher, not the public school teacher.

The old days where devout nuns and priests taught in every Catholic school has gone the way of the Baltimore Catechism, so, one cannot compare the Catholic school education of grandmother’s day to the Catholic school education of today.

Some parents send the kids to RE and never do a lick of training at home.

Then, there are faithful parents, doing the best that they can every day. They exist in all school situations.

Parents and teachers beating each other up, calling names in regard to the Priest, it sure does not appear to be Christian charity if you ask me.

 

[Col40]

Please look inside yourself, don’t let this woman cause you to think less of the RE kids.

Mommamia if I let on the impression that I think less of the RE kids, that’s not my intention. Some of the kids I taught still come up and hug me! Some are really good kids, and some could use a lesson in respecting authority and adult—same with some of the school students. I do think our parish school does a better job in enforcing values already being taught at home and encouraging our children to embrace their faith…especially when the public schools around this area are pressing more and more that expressions of Christianity are signs of exclusion and intolerance, where other faiths expressions like Judaism, Islam, even Wiccan are considered “diversity”. Add in the increasing presence of Planned Parenthood

What should have titled this thread was: Is my DRE a poison pill to our parish/school? That’s the real issue. Some of the RE parents are also unhappy with her inflexibilty. I’m concerned because I am involved with the school’s enrollment management program, and we keep hearing some mistruths throughout the community about our academic standards, students, etc. and I’m pretty sure she’s part of the source—we’re just need to prove it. I still remember some of the very negative comments she made to me when I was teaching RE about the teachers of the school, about the HSA, etc. that I came to learn were very untrue. .this was like her first or second year on the job. She came here with three false assumptions on which she’s operated the RE program:

1. The village in which our school is located is filled with elitist snobs compared to the neighbor village in which she grew up. That’s a false assumption–outdated at best—both villages share the same socio-economic makeup–middle to upper middle class.
2. That the school is filled with elitist snobs from this village and that the parents are too involved in their kids lives. False also–yes, Catholic school parents are more active in their children’s school lives–but it’s a tighter knit community in that there is one class per grade. Also, the school itself draws from several parishes–including her home parish, and from neighboring towns and cities–including the city in which I live–our makeup in that regard is more diverse.
3. That her parish is more “humble”, therefore more Catholic than ours and better at serving because they don’t have a school. First, I’ll argue the humility part and the servitude part–our parish and school have gone out of their way to welcome all parishes to events, and has done a lot more with community outreach. Second, her parish has a lot of money, but it’s because for years our parish picked up the tab for both parish’s student supplement–until our current pastor arrived and saw the financial issue it created, and started to insist on a fair-share of assistance for education.

I know our pastor brought her on because he was trying to create a bigger parish community at large, including a changeover to community sacraments, etc. At the time he brought her on, we had another principal who was also new to the school and very receptive to the changes as well–but she blew it by immediately showing disregard for Catholic school teachers, students and parents. Yes, changing a long time culture is tough, but you need someone who is empathetic to do that. He brought on the wrong person for that job…and it’s just getting worse as she continues to be indignant.

Again, let me reiterate—all we ask for is that property be respected and that we all be flexible with use of the building after school hours and during weekends. That RE clean up after themselves as all other organizations in the parish do. That RE can be accomodating and not get noses bent out of joint if another organization needs to use the cafeteria during a rel ed session. As our current principal has stated loud and clear to both the DRE and pastor–everyone works together as a team EXCEPT her. But he won’t do a thing; she’s bragged to me in the past that whenever he or the pastoral associate try to get her to make a change or do things differently, she’s threatened to quit until he backs down. He tolerates this, I don’t know why–other than he and the pastoral associate would have to pick up the slack if she leaves.

Very telling of how bad this has gotten–three Sundays ago, it was Catholic School’s Week kickoff and we had our annual HSA pancake breakfast—open to the public as are all our events, in the cafeteria, plus the Catholic schools Mass ect…well, she hid in her office, all indignant. I was serving up breakfast and saw one of the confirmation teachers sort of hovering nervously around the entrance…so I motioned for him to come over. I said, “Hi Dave–do you want to grab some breakfast before Mass lets out?” He sort of looked over his shoulder, and said, “no, I’m just in to make sure none of my students are in here causing trouble.” I replied, “they’re welcome to come and eat too—it’s $5/ticket.” I even offered to buy him breakfast if he wanted before he headed up to teach–or have even a nice cup of coffee…he declined nicely. But it was like he was almost afraid to talk to anyone from the school when the DRE was nearby—this is someone who on most occassions when I see him around town is friendly and happy to see me.

I do pray on it—not for them to fire her (because I’m not uncharitable) but that another opportunity that’s more suited to her personality will present itself and that she’ll leave so that a door will be open for someone who truly sees the benefit of a parish school to the parish community as a whole, and can bring to the table more energy, more talent, more willingness to engage the students and ignite their their faith. That’s what we need…