Are avoiding gay marriages possible moving forward in today's society?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Walterross
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Walterross said:
I realize that, but it goes back to my original question. I wonder if I’m being too picky in finding someone who will help me raise my kids in the church.
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See my answer: no.

But finding someone who embraces the faith doesn’t preclude someone with same sex attracted family members. This isn’t a mutually exclusive proposition.
 
Jen7 said:
You sound like you’re hurting from your break up. I’m sorry! But worrying about how a hypothetical future-spouse might have a hypothetically gay cousin who proceeds to invite you to a wedding where your hypothetical wife wants to attend but you don’t… it just seems premature. You can’t foresee all the places you and a future spouse will disagree - even on your wedding day (let alone before you’ve even met the person!) Marry someone respectful and committed to seeking wise answers with you. Together y’all will figure out life as a team & as you go. Ultimately marriage is a leap of faith, trust, & love. There is always uncertainty about what life will throw your way and how life will challenge and change you and person you marry. You can’t see all that ahead of time. None of us can. But marriage is a wonderful adventure!!
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I am hurting. And I can’t help but feel like I made the wrong decision in the breakup. (It was mutual however) but I had this weird gut feeling that disagreeing on homosexual acts (she said she would not say they are sinful), abortion, transgenderism, etc. would run into problems down the line in raising children. Our purpose in marriage is of course to glorify God, procreate, and raise kids to know God. I’m just trying to do my best here but others here seem to think my question is unreasonable. I just need some guidance is all.
 
1ke said:
But finding someone who embraces the faith doesn’t preclude someone with same sex attracted family members. This isn’t a mutually exclusive proposition.
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That makes sense, thanks for your help.
 
1ke said:
I don’t think you did. Someone who opposes fundamental teachings of the Church is not spouse material.
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Thank you. I said I wouldn’t change my opinions and she said neither would she so I think it was for the best. I guess this whole thread came from the fear of not finding someone who does believe all the church’s teachings nowadays. The whole family thing came from someone being close with a hypothetical gay family member and telling our kids the marriage is okay. If that makes sense. It’s just such a confusing situation.
 
That may well be, but to me, your post came across with a picture of you being quite fearful of that which you can’t control or don’t understand.
 
Exactly that. We teach our children about God’s plan for sex and marriage from the time they can process language.

We talk about mommies and daddies and husbands and wives, we teach them that as a Catholic when they grow up they will marry someone who shares their Faith, that Catholics marry with permission of the Church, when a wedding on TV or in a movie happens on a beach or in a barn we talk about that Catholic marriage takes place in a Church or that Catholic might ask the Bishop if they can marry in a barn. We weave it into the very fiber of our lived.

We also teach our kids to be kind and loving to everyone.
 
I think a simple way to state it to a person you’re dating might be - quite simply: do you agree with Church teaching in all areas & are you willing to defer your opinion to Church teaching when the two might diverge, esp when raising kids?

Have you tried online dating? I met my husband on Catholic Match. We have been happily married for 10 years & I could not be happier! With Catholic Match’s lengthy questions, It is easy to find folks who have similar values. I corresponded with quite a number of committed Catholic gentlemen. The sparks did not fly with the others but that wasn’t because we disagreed on Church teaching or any fundamental issues. If you are open to possibly meeting someone who lives far away from you, it really expands the possibilities of finding a like minded person to date.

Best of luck. 🙂
 
It is one thing to be incompatible because of different values and it is another to deal with their relatives and friends who don’t share our values.
 
Interesting. I’m still not sure if online dating is for me, but I may eventually give it a try! That’s awesome that you found your spouse on Catholic Match. I just come from such a small town that I doubt there would be people on there. Maybe when I graduate college and move to a bigger city! I’ll keep my options open!
 
Disagreements can be hard to overcome, incompatibly makes it even harder.
If both are willing to change, marriage can make you one with each other.

Neither of you seem to be having that much fun or love.
 
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We had a lot of fun and love actually. It was just those core differences that were on my mind and we planned to separate for each of our future kids accordingly. We didn’t want to raise them as the other would.
 
Then it’s sad it had to end that way.
In the future, try to answer the compatibility question before any emotional attachment?
 
It is true, but homosexual acts are more serious than a simple fornication. Because the different nature of the acts themselves.
 
Grave sin is grave sin is grave sin. If a person ends up in hell, it will be hell regardless of the flavor of the sin.
 
Don’t worry about tomorrows possible problems! If it happens, just be nice to the gay person! If you don’t want to attend their wedding, then politely decline… let future wife attend if she wants to, as she has freewill… and teach future kids to love everyone, even gay people, even though gay acts are not good.

If you’re invited to a same-sex wedding, I assume you’re close enough to them that they probably already know you’re Catholic… therefore it will be unsurprising to them that you feel this way. I think they’ll respect your believes (assuming you don’t judge or chastise them, and always respect them as individuals).
 
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