Are bare shoulders appropriate at Mass?

[RedSoxWife]

I don’t get it. What is wrong with bare shoulders? They are shoulders, not breasts or belly buttons or barely covered bums and legs. I have bare shoulders (but not spaghetti straps) year round because I am of that hormonal age where I am hot most if not all the time. No man has ever paid unwanted attention with me because of my shoulders. Are men distracted by bare shoulders, do you think?

Yesterday it was well into the three digits and I went into town in a sun dress, (no cleavage and skirt to my knees). I usually have something over my shoulders too, because I tend to cover up a bit, but it was hot and I was in a hurry… and with just the bare shoulders I got an entirely different kind of attention when I was out. In my experience with just a sweater added, many men are much more respectful. I don’t know why and frankly I was surprised (and kind of horrified). So apparently shoulders can be distracting…

 

[Ailina]

Yesterday it was well into the three digits and I went into town in a sun dress, (no cleavage and skirt to my knees). I usually have something over my shoulders too, because I tend to cover up a bit, but it was hot and I was in a hurry… and with just the bare shoulders I got an entirely different kind of attention when I was out. In my experience with just a sweater added, many men are much more respectful. I don’t know why and frankly I was surprised (and kind of horrified). So apparently shoulders can be distracting…

I dunno…in your pictures, you look like an attractive young woman so it wouldn’t surprise me if men give you more than one look at any time, no matter what you’re wearing. So long as the glance is appreciative and they don’t harass you, it is okay. Sun dresses are pretty and very feminine, much more so than the raunchy short shorts and spaghetti strap tops…so is it any wonder that men might throw an admiring glance or two?

 

[Jacafamala]

That’s what I wear 3 out of 4 Sundays! A little white sweater that matches most of my dresses. The sleeves go just past my elbows and it’s not too hot. I love the little white church sweaters!

That’s right. All my girls wear them, too. Our church gets downright coooold from the air conditioning.

Sometimes I think they keep it that way just so women wear their sweaters–seriously!

 

[4EverHis]

I know, I know… Another thread on modest dress! But this question has bothered me all summer as we’ve gone on family vacations and attended Mass at various parishes and I’ve noticed all the bare shoulders. Sometimes it’s spaghetti straps and sometimes it’s tank tops or sun dresses that otherwise cover everything (i.e. no cleavage), but it definitely seems to be the norm (at least in the parishes we went to both in California and Massachusetts). It wasn’t just young women who had bare shoulders either. Are bare shoulders becoming acceptable in Catholic Churches? Is it the norm where you are?

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with bare shoulders in Mass. That’s just me though and I guess it’s not the popular view these days!

I wouldn’t really feel comfortable either I’m in my early 20s and I see many girls my age at Mass who wear short skirts/dresses and tank tops…I wouldn’t be able to though. I hope it doesn’t become acceptable…

 

[Lost_Lamb]

I have worn sleeveless, maybe even spaghetti strap (can’t think off the top of my head) dresses. Not shorts, though. I’m sorry, but I think that in 115 degree weather, Jesus would be fine with it.

Oh, and it is very normal around here. No one gives a second look. Probably because it’s so hot in 29 Palms. Plus, the Marines are trained to be respectful.

 

[love2learn]

Short skirts and any amount of exposed cleavage are unacceptable, but to me shoulders are just a part of the arm and not a distraction in a society that routinely wears tank tops in summer. On the other hand, most churches are air conditioned now, so you really can’t make the argument that women will faint from heat if they cover their shoulders. I am ok with pastors setting guidelines for what to wear to Mass. Maybe that’s because I wore a Catholic school uniform for 12 years.

 

[PrairieMom]

I think it’s a good question. Where I live, it’s either very hot or very cold (there’s about a 65-70 degree celsius spread between summer and winter temps), and when it’s hot, it’s very hot. Our parish is also over 100 years old, and no a/c to speak of.

I’ve become more aware of my clothing choices recently, but on one very, very hot day I chose a modest, sleeveless button-down blouse to wear to weekday mass. I was worried that I would be the only one there dressed like that.

To my surprise, pretty much every woman there over 50 had sleeveless shirts on. The only other two around my age (early 30’s) were dressed very modestly and had their arms covered.

I usually do whatever the older crowd is doing, but I found it odd that it was in fact the younger folk that were more covered!

Funny, eh?

 

[Sword_Brethren]

I don’t get it. What is wrong with bare shoulders? They are shoulders, not breasts or belly buttons or barely covered bums and legs. I have bare shoulders (but not spaghetti straps) year round because I am of that hormonal age where I am hot most if not all the time. No man has ever paid unwanted attention with me because of my shoulders. Are men distracted by bare shoulders, do you think?

Yes

 

[Sarabande]

That’s what I wear 3 out of 4 Sundays! A little white sweater that matches most of my dresses. The sleeves go just past my elbows and it’s not too hot. I love the little white church sweaters!

I’ve always been really warm-blooded, but since I’ve been pregnant, the heat has really been getting to me. I can’t stand the feel of pants at the moment, so I’ve been wearing these feminine, pretty sundresses which only have straps. I usually bring a sweater with 3/4 length sleeves with me for when I’m inside - especially in a/c rooms or at church. I have one white one and one black one. Since I’m a cantor, I think it’s imperative for me to be as appropriately and modestly dressed as possible. Although, I don’t mind wearing pants in the congregation, I actually don’t like wearing pants when I’m cantoring, so I’ve actually gotten to the point that I wear a skirt or dress almost every Sunday even when I’m not cantoring. It’s just in case I’m asked to cantor or lector, which has happened before. If the dress or the top has sleeveless shoulders, I either wear a sweater or a shawl.

At the same time, it hasn’t bothered me when I see a girl or woman wearing a top without sleeves. The bare shoulders don’t bother me, per say. I think the appropriateness of a top or dress lies in how it is cut or fitted to the rest of the body rather than whether or not it has sleeves. I’ve seen tops with sleeves that are so tight or so low cut that they really wouldn’t be appropriate at all and have seen a modest top which didn’t have sleeves be fine. When I speak to my husband, his main problem is when you see women with nice figures wearing the short shorts, flip-flops and tight spaghetti strap tops. It’s hard for him to concentrate sometimes. So, he sits in the front to avoid seeing them and any “thoughts”. It’s hard enough for him just seeing a modestly dressed, beautiful woman.

 

[corsair]

I thought this was a “Traditional” forum. Sorry, must have pushed the wrong button.

In the Traditional Latin Mass, this is not even a question. Modesty is the word for both male and females.

I know at NO Masses you can see all sorts of things. Another point there is no such thing as Traditional Novus Ordo. 40 years doesn’t make a tradition.

 

[jpjd]

In my opinion, sleeveless is fine. Anything less than that is too much skin even if it is only shoulders, because taken as a whole, it’s showing just too much neck, shoulders, upper chest, and back to be appropriate for Mass.

However, when I am a reader or a EMHC, I don’t even wear sleeveless. I think if there’s any question that your clothing might cause someone to pay attention to anything other than the Word or the Eucharist, then you should wear something else.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

In my opinion, sleeveless is fine. Anything less than that is too much skin even if it is only shoulders, because taken as a whole, it’s showing just too much neck, shoulders, upper chest, and back to be appropriate for Mass.

I agree with this. Less than sleeveless (IOW, no straps) just looks too naked. Keep in mind that the people in the pews behind you don’t see the bottom part of a strapless top (at least when you’re sitting down), and the woman wearing it really does look naked.

I think the same should apply to wedding gowns, when the wedding is in church. I wish the “sexy naked bride” look would just go away.

Personally, I am not comfortable going out in public in any top that doesn’t at least have short sleeves, except for the beach. I wear tank tops all summer, but I always have on a matching or coordinating blouse over them (I don’t button the overblouse).

 

[RedSoxWife]

I thought this was a “Traditional” forum. Sorry, must have pushed the wrong button.

In the Traditional Latin Mass, this is not even a question. Modesty is the word for both male and females.

I know at NO Masses you can see all sorts of things. Another point there is no such thing as Traditional Novus Ordo. 40 years doesn’t make a tradition.

While this is off topic, I’ll respond: this may come as a surprise to you, but many Catholics who attend NO Masses consider themselves to be “traditional.” My family does… we live in a very rural area and travel about thirty miles to get to our NO Mass. If there was a Latin Mass we would go. Unfortunately we can’t afford to drive over 3 hours (each way) to go to a TLM.

You may not consider NO to be traditional, but there are traditional Catholics who attend NO masses because it is their only option.

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

Why not just let modesty be the guide for the appropriateness of what you are doing i.e., Partaking is the Eucharistic banquet. Is this too simple?

 

[slyboots]

No reason for bare shoulders these days. Ladies can always wear those cute little shrugs, jackets, or sweaters to keep from displaying too much.

 

[RedSoxWife]

Why not just let modesty be the guide for the appropriateness of what you are doing i.e., Partaking is the Eucharistic banquet. Is this too simple?

I think that may be one of the reasons why it’s so common to see uncovered shoulders at Mass these days, many women, some who are old enough to be my grandmother, don’t see it as immodest.

I don’t think bare shoulders are immodest in other circumstance, but as I said in my OP, I wouldn’t feel comfortable in Mass that way. I guess that’s why I wanted to know what other people think, because a lot of people definitely seem to think that it’s totally appropriate…

I’ve been thinking about the reason the last few days and I think I’ve got it figured out. I’m a convert (I was raised Southern Baptist) and one of my earliest memories of Catholicism was of my father telling me about taking a group of students to Italy. When they went to St. Peter’s the girls weren’t allowed in unless they covered their shoulders, so some of the girls took their backpacks and spread them across their shoulders so they could go in. The picture stuck in my head from the first time I heard it and I guess I just always made the association that when you went in a Catholic church you cover your shoulders.

 

[Bluegoat]

If you go to a church in some exotic place, you will find people with a lot more than their shoulders uncovered. It really depends on the context that the church is in. At one time missionary priest spent a lot of effort making sure that converted “heathen” wore clothes that covered all the parts of the bodies that they as Westerners found offensive, which resulted in some very odd outfits. Although global westernization of culture has made it less common, there are still groups with very different ideas of modesty. The Church has come to realize that culture plays a huge role in what is understood as modest or immodest, and doesn’t go out of it’s way to impose western, or Italian modesty on other people. And in places where being more covered is required for modesty, they support that too.

 

[ConservativeOne]

In my humble opinion, the answer to this question is in that little leaflet - sometimes quoted in these forums.
Marylike Dress standards - are or should remain the rule / norm, and I agree with another poster that priests should be unafraid to emphasize this regularly. Needless to say, by reason of that leaflet, if women are required to dress a certain way daily (i.e. Marylike), it would include Church - whether on Sundays or not.

 

[Junebug999]

No, and I’m so happy our pastor has issued the law about that – he said no bare shoulders, spagetti straps, tube tops, plunging or immodest necklines, no bare middles, and shorts have to be knee length. I have seen girls getting out of the car with their families who are more appropriately dressed with an extra t-shirt over one of those skimpy summer tops.

I’m glad our pastor has made a stand about it. I saw two young girls come in (very late as well) dressed very immodestly this last Sunday, one actually had a tube top on with a V in front (in case you hadn’t seen enough already). I’m glad she was there, but I hope she looked around and noticed they were the only two dressed like they were going to the beach instead of Mass.

God Bless them, and hope they get the message from Our Lord and our dear pastor about modest dress at Mass.

 

[Ailina]

No, and I’m so happy our pastor has issued the law about that – he said no bare shoulders, spagetti straps, tube tops, plunging or immodest necklines, no bare middles, and shorts have to be knee length. I have seen girls getting out of the car with their families who are more appropriately dressed with an extra t-shirt over one of those skimpy summer tops.

I’m glad our pastor has made a stand about it. I saw two young girls come in (very late as well) dressed very immodestly this last Sunday, one actually had a tube top on with a V in front (in case you hadn’t seen enough already). I’m glad she was there, but I hope she looked around and noticed they were the only two dressed like they were going to the beach instead of Mass.

God Bless them, and hope they get the message from Our Lord and our dear pastor about modest dress at Mass.

Well, I was in a quandary on the weekend…I went to the lake with the kids, packing nothing but beach clothes, because the weather report said HOT, HOT, HOT!

So come Saturday evening, I realized that I didn’t have a sleeved anything. So now what? Miss church and commit a mortal sin, or go to church and sit at the back? Then my 82 yr old mom and 86 year old dad needed a ride to church, so then I had to figure out if I was dishonouring my mother and father by not taking them, on top of the mortal sin of not going myself on account of that sleeveless shirt…

In the end, I decided going in a sleeveless shirt was a pretty minor sin compared to what I would have been facing if I had decided not to go at all. I think the priest was glad to see anyone come in, because sadly, even that tiny church was more than half empty. And most of the people there were older than 50. I find that saddest of all. Where are all the young people?