Are Catholic priests allowed to advise using contraception?

[Blue_Horizon]

Thank you sir. That is much more charitable and constructive.

Btw, I left a message with my Bishop ask him about the matter. He is actually out of the country right now, but the moral theologian for the diocese will be getting back to me.

I told my spiritual director I would like to contact the bishop about my concern. I assured him I was not “reporting” him, but seeking an affirmation about the advice given.

Good luck with your issues.
As I suggested, if you are not a scrupulous or OCD penitent then best to find a spritual director who you have trust in.

Dont forget to ask the MT priest whether a Catholic whose wife refuses to pay the marital debt unless contraception is used…may do so. Dont forget to also add the survival of your marriage likely hinges on this and its not intended as permanent situation on your part.
You would also need to mention that abstention does not seem a wise choice for you given it is proven it will likely lead to the disordered scenarios you have already mentioned.

Material cooperation in a spouses sin of this type is not always considered immoral if my 5 years of MT training by Dominicans has me true. You are not the one contracepting even if you are involved with a physical contraceptive. Not all use of arsenic is poisoning, small doses are medicinal.

Do come back with his response here. I am fairly sure he will not give you a clear no you cannot on this … even though it usually applies to non Catholic wives.

God bless.

 

[rcwitness]

Good luck with your issues.

I do not need luck. I need God’s grace.

Do come back with his response here. I am fairly sure he will not give you a clear no you cannot on this … even though it usually applies to non Catholic wives.

I sent an email to the archdiocese, and also left a message with the Moral Theologian. I have not yet spoke with the theologian, but this was my question in the email:
Hello, and peace to you! I have a very important question. I am currently going through a very difficult time in my marriage, and I have a specific question. Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations? I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and damaged my wife’s trust. I was advised by my pastor to use condoms, but did not believe this to be a just reason to do so. I attempted to seek counselling and practice NFP, even if abstinence for a period was necessary. But things have not gone well. My wife is claiming to be justified for having demanded using condoms and received support from our priest. I love both my wife and this priest dearly, and have no intentions to cause trouble. I only want to know if this is in line with Catholic Teaching, or opposed to it. Thank you so much for your time and ministry!
This was his answer:
Dear Michael,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful question!

The answer to your specific question, “Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations?” is “no” for these reasons.

Understanding and respecting God’s design for love and life, the Church teaches that marriage between one man and one woman is meant to be unitive and procreative.

Therefore, no artificial means of birth control is allowed because it separates the unitive aspect from the procreative and interferes with God’s design.

The Church promotes Natural Family Planning because it respects God’s design for marriage.

I sincerely hope and pray that you can find reconciliation with your wife, so that the wounds can be healed and your sacramental love can grow.

God bless you!

RICH HARTER, M.T.S.

Director, John Paul II Center for the New Evangelization

 

[Blue_Horizon]

I do not need luck. I need God’s grace.

I sent an email to the archdiocese, and also left a message with the Moral Theologian. I have not yet spoke with the theologian, but this was my question in the email:
Hello, and peace to you! I have a very important question. I am currently going through a very difficult time in my marriage, and I have a specific question. Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations? I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and damaged my wife’s trust. I was advised by my pastor to use condoms, but did not believe this to be a just reason to do so. I attempted to seek counselling and practice NFP, even if abstinence for a period was necessary. But things have not gone well. My wife is claiming to be justified for having demanded using condoms and received support from our priest. I love both my wife and this priest dearly, and have no intentions to cause trouble. I only want to know if this is in line with Catholic Teaching, or opposed to it. Thank you so much for your time and ministry!
This was his answer:
Dear Michael,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful question!

The answer to your specific question, “Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations?” is “no” for these reasons.

Understanding and respecting God’s design for love and life, the Church teaches that marriage between one man and one woman is meant to be unitive and procreative.

Therefore, no artificial means of birth control is allowed because it separates the unitive aspect from the procreative and interferes with God’s design.

The Church promotes Natural Family Planning because it respects God’s design for marriage.

I sincerely hope and pray that you can find reconciliation with your wife, so that the wounds can be healed and your sacramental love can grow.

God bless you!

RICH HARTER, M.T.S.

Director, John Paul II Center for the New Evangelization

Well, given the way you put the question there could have been no other response.

Which is why I wished you “good luck” because the chances of you putting the question in a way that adequately explained your actual complex situation were, to my judgement, slim.

You are always in God’s grace whatever you do - so long as you are trusting of God and the priest’s he has put on your path who actually know your situation and person best.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

“Moral theologian” is a title that has meaning in the Church.

It presupposes an education well beyond a lay ecclesial minister who has completed a Master of Theological Studies.

A priest in the most rudimentary seminary will have completed significantly more studies than a lay person who has been awarded a Master of Theological Studies.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I do not need luck. I need God’s grace.

I sent an email to the archdiocese, and also left a message with the Moral Theologian. I have not yet spoke with the theologian, but this was my question in the email:
Hello, and peace to you! I have a very important question. I am currently going through a very difficult time in my marriage, and I have a specific question. Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations? I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and damaged my wife’s trust. I was advised by my pastor to use condoms, but did not believe this to be a just reason to do so. I attempted to seek counselling and practice NFP, even if abstinence for a period was necessary. But things have not gone well. My wife is claiming to be justified for having demanded using condoms and received support from our priest. I love both my wife and this priest dearly, and have no intentions to cause trouble. I only want to know if this is in line with Catholic Teaching, or opposed to it. Thank you so much for your time and ministry!
This was his answer:
Dear Michael,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful question!

The answer to your specific question, “Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations?” is “no” for these reasons.

Understanding and respecting God’s design for love and life, the Church teaches that marriage between one man and one woman is meant to be unitive and procreative.

Therefore, no artificial means of birth control is allowed because it separates the unitive aspect from the procreative and interferes with God’s design.

The Church promotes Natural Family Planning because it respects God’s design for marriage.

I sincerely hope and pray that you can find reconciliation with your wife, so that the wounds can be healed and your sacramental love can grow.

God bless you!

RICH HARTER, M.T.S.

Director, John Paul II Center for the New Evangelization

I think that was handled quite well. And the answer given was correct.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

“Moral theologian” is a title that has meaning in the Church.

It presupposes an education well beyond a lay ecclesial minister who has completed a Master of Theological Studies.

A priest in the most rudimentary seminary will have completed significantly more studies than a lay person who has been awarded a Master of Theological Studies.

 

[bitterhope]

“Moral theologian” is a title that has meaning in the Church.

It presupposes an education well beyond a lay ecclesial minister who has completed a Master of Theological Studies.

A priest in the most rudimentary seminary will have completed significantly more studies than a lay person who has been awarded a Master of Theological Studies.

Father, when is is acceptable for a priest to advise a couple or individual to use contraception? Is this ever allowed? What would be the purpose of advising for condoms and then encouraging the husband (or wife) to perforate them if the desire, without the knowledge of the spouse?

 

[bjames1728]

Hello, and peace to you! I have a very important question. I am currently going through a very difficult time in my marriage, and I have a specific question. Do Catholic priests have the authority to advise the faithful to use contraception for the purpose of not getting pregnant under certain situations? I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and damaged my wife’s trust. I was advised by my pastor to use condoms, but did not believe this to be a just reason to do so. I attempted to seek counselling and practice NFP, even if abstinence for a period was necessary. But things have not gone well. My wife is claiming to be justified for having demanded using condoms and received support from our priest. I love both my wife and this priest dearly, and have no intentions to cause trouble. I only want to know if this is in line with Catholic Teaching, or opposed to it. Thank you so much for your time and ministry!

Aside from your theological question, have you paused to consider how this sounds? I attempted … NFP? NFP requires both partners, and requires a much heavier commitment from the wife. Given that its success significantly depends on the trust and communication of the couple, what burden do you think this would impose on your wife given your stated history? And imagine her concern of an unexpected pregnancy? Pregnancy is emotionally and physically hard on a woman, even in a stable and trustful relationship. If you suddenly imposed NFP on your wife, can you imagine why this might have been highly upsetting?

And the language “my wife claims”, “my wife demands”. This sounds highly adversarial. Consider asking yourself: are you interested in reconciling with your wife and reaching a mutually agreeable decision? Or is this more about winning an argument?

 

[KnitNut]

Aside from your theological question, have you paused to consider how this sounds? I attempted … NFP? NFP requires both partners, and requires a much heavier commitment from the wife. Given that its success significantly depends on the trust and communication of the couple, what burden do you think this would impose on your wife given your stated history? And imagine her concern of an unexpected pregnancy? Pregnancy is emotionally and physically hard on a woman, even in a stable and trustful relationship. If you suddenly imposed NFP on your wife, can you imagine why this might have been highly upsetting?

And the language “my wife claims”, “my wife demands”. This sounds highly adversarial. Consider asking yourself: are you interested in reconciling with your wife and reaching a mutually agreeable decision? Or is this more about winning an argument?

My point, precisely. And then when you view this in light of the OP’s previous comment:

I certainly don’t believe that simply having unprotected sex will give her trust. If her trust is that damaged, then she should refrain from sex. But to simply refrain from sex and expect me to overcome temptation is equally unreasonable.

“You better have sex with me, or else it’s your fault I’m acting out. Oh, and BTW, you have to do it my way even if you get pregnant…our priest may have agreed with you, but I’ve gone forum shopping and found a whole slew of other people willing to tell you that I’m right and you’re wrong, so I win.”
Win the battle, lose the war. I wonder how his wife would feel, reading his comments here?

 

[rcwitness]

I think that was handled quite well. And the answer given was correct.

Thank you.

 

[rcwitness]

Aside from your theological question, have you paused to consider how this sounds?

Yes

I attempted … NFP? NFP requires both partners, and requires a much heavier commitment from the wife. Given that its success significantly depends on the trust and communication of the couple, what burden do you think this would impose on your wife given your stated history?

I do not wish to explain all of these personal things here.

And imagine her concern of an unexpected pregnancy? Pregnancy is emotionally and physically hard on a woman, even in a stable and trustful relationship. If you suddenly imposed NFP on your wife, can you imagine why this might have been highly upsetting?

“unexpected pregnancy”? “Imposed NFP”? You are speaking as though contraception is a justified option. Are you claiming that contraception can be justified? Please provide evidence from the Catholic faith.

And the language “my wife claims”, “my wife demands”. This sounds highly adversarial. Consider asking yourself: are you interested in reconciling with your wife and reaching a mutually agreeable decision? Or is this more about winning an argument?

Again, are you implying that I need to “be flexible” and contracept? This is the whole point of this inquiry. Does the Catholic faith condone contraception in certain situations? I’m not looking for opinions and diagnosis. I am looking for what the Church Teaches. Please offer something substantial, because I do not appreciate these silly debates. Don’t expect me to be able to convey every aspect of my personal situation here. There either are possible reasons which the Church deems justifiable, or there are not. The medical and disease related reasons aside, since their intent is not to prevent pregnancy.

 

[NoelFitz]

Hoosier Daddy

I read here “God just wants you to follow his voice in the priest he has made available to you.”

I am very concerned about this and similar views I have seen expressed in CAF.

One must follow one’s conscience not the instructions of any one else. Following the command of others lead to Nazi crimes. It is no excuse to say one was just obeying.
In more recent times the scandals in the Legionaries of Christ were not resolved sooner due to legionaries being excessively obedient.

 

[Lookingforjoy]

Again, are you implying that I need to “be flexible” and contracept?

I think she’s thinking that you need to “be flexible” and abstain. Unfortunately, you’ve already indicated that not having enough sex was a contributing factor in your adultery. I’m not saying your wife is right in using condoms, but you can kind of see how she might feel the need like she has to have sex to keep you faithful, but also protect herself from pregnancy.
**
I think that people are objecting not to your views on condoms, but your approach to marital relations with your wife.** It seems like your attitude is, “Hey honey, the Church says you have to have sex with me, and you can only use NFP. Let’s go.” Having an attitude of, “Honey, I’m just not morally comfortable with using condoms. We can wait until you feel comfortable using NFP. What can I do to help you get there?”

I can’t remember if you were using NFP before, but if this is something you’re wanting to start now in the midst of your relationship recovering from everything else, there will be even more communication and work to be done.

It’s all in your approach.

 

[rcwitness]

I think she’s thinking that you need to “be flexible” and abstain. Unfortunately, you’ve already indicated that not having enough sex was a contributing factor in your adultery. I’m not saying your wife is right in using condoms, but you can kind of see how she might feel the need like she has to have sex to keep you faithful, but also protect herself from pregnancy.
**
I think that people are objecting not to your views on condoms, but your approach to marital relations with your wife.** It seems like your attitude is, “Hey honey, the Church says you have to have sex with me, and you can only use NFP. Let’s go.” Having an attitude of, “Honey, I’m just not morally comfortable with using condoms. We can wait until you feel comfortable using NFP. What can I do to help you get there?”

I can’t remember if you were using NFP before, but if this is something you’re wanting to start now in the midst of your relationship recovering from everything else, there will be even more communication and work to be done.

It’s all in your approach.

I think you have some decent points. But again, I’m not seeking counselling here. So please don’t expect me to discuss all of this with you. The Catholic priest and counselors that I will work with must keep in line with the Catholic faith. A priest is obligated to hold to the Church’s Teaching. That is the sole point of this inquiry.

Some posters here are being devils.

 

[Wesrock]

I dont take arsenic, I believe poisoning is wrong…but the substance itself is not evil.
It seems a rule of life there can be a time and place for the use of most physical things given the right conditions. In which case we arent talking poisoning are we.
The Pope says as much also does he not?

So am I pro arsenic? .

The drugs/rubber is not intrinsically evil and may have morally neutral or good uses. Choosing to temporarily sterilize oneself to intentionally contracept during intercourse is evil.

I understand you take a very nuanced approach, but you sometimes take it to unnecessary and misleading extremes. If you believe the statement requires careful clarification before affirmation, do so, instead of hovering in vagueness. If your intent is to play Socrates, you don’t do it well.

 

[KnitNut]

And the language “my wife claims”, “my wife demands”. This sounds highly adversarial. Consider asking yourself: are you interested in reconciling with your wife and reaching a mutually agreeable decision? Or is this more about winning an argument?

From the OP himself:

What would be the best way for me to get a definitive answer to this? And I mean one that would hold my pastor and wife accountable for trying to push contraception?

He’s the adulterer, but dang it, if she doesn’t give him what he wants sexually (whether it’s contraception or frequency or whatever) then he’s not responsible for the adultery and he’s going to keep doing it Plus, she’s wrong so she must be held accountable for “making him sin”, both the contraception and the adultery.

It appears, based upon his early posts in the thread, that there’s no individual counseling informing his approach on this. (I could quote, but just go back to pages 1-2, it’s all there.) I’m not sure there’s any “win” in this situation. The written teachings are clear, but as Fr. Ruggero points out here and in many posts, priests have certain training above laypeople, and priests are charged with guiding their flock as best heals their souls (to paraphrase, with apologies, Father). Any of us can read the writings, but none of us are in the position to second guess what may/may not have been said to the OP.

IMO, the OP should find a counselor to help him decide how he would express to his (separated) wife, IF the matter of POSSIBLY resuming relations should come up, that he no longer will use condoms. Once he has an approach and can stop obsessing about this, he’ll be able to dig in to his own issues with fidelity, boundaries, communication, maturity, and any other barriers preventing him from a healthy partnership.

 

[rcwitness]

From the OP himself:

He’s the adulterer, but dang it, if she doesn’t give him what he wants sexually (whether it’s contraception or frequency or whatever) then he’s not responsible for the adultery and he’s going to keep doing it Plus, she’s wrong so she must be held accountable for “making him sin”, both the contraception and the adultery.

That is very untrue. I never said I’m not responsible for infidelity. You are making that claim. It’s a terrible thing for you to accuse!

It appears, based upon his early posts in the thread, that there’s no individual counseling informing his approach on this. (I could quote, but just go back to pages 1-2, it’s all there.) I’m not sure there’s any “win” in this situation. The written teachings are clear, but as Fr. Ruggero points out here and in many posts, priests have certain training above laypeople, and priests are charged with guiding their flock as best heals their souls (to paraphrase, with apologies, Father). Any of us can read the writings, but none of us are in the position to second guess what may/may not have been said to the OP.

As far as I know, Fr Don only chimed in to say an MTS is less significant as a Moral Theologian. Yet, he says nothing about my question. So it really has little value.

IMO, the OP should find a counselor to help him decide how he would express to his (separated) wife, IF the matter of POSSIBLY resuming relations should come up, that he no longer will use condoms. Once he has an approach and can stop obsessing about this, he’ll be able to dig in to his own issues with fidelity, boundaries, communication, maturity, and any other barriers preventing him from a healthy partnership.

Once again, I am not looking for opinions here.