Are catholic virgins in a minority?

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Are catholic virgins in a minority? I mean, do a lot of catholics break the rules and do things before they commit and settle down? I want to adhere properly to the rules, but I want to find another virgin, but wondering how common or rare it is, these days.:confused:
 
Funny question, or funny way to word it. In any event, it doesnt really matter. I wouldnt worry about it they way you pose the issue. Just look for a those pure of heart now. What has been done in the past is over if repented, and, the intention of the heart for purity now is all you need to even be concerned about. The way the question is worded just seems like a prurient interest , like starting a thread titled “Catholics Girls - Naughty or Nice?”
 
Not sure if you are male or female but the same attitudes should apply either way. Virginity is to be valued but people are not to be judged. In the present sexually-charged environment we live in, people can make very serious mistakes before they are aware of how to handle themselves. Many parents teach NOTHING to their kids and expect them to figure it all out. And unfortunately, many young people end up learning things they wish they never knew.

When you are looking for a mate, virgin or not, ask them how they feel about virginity (most likely you will have kids one day and will need to be able to discuss this). Learn from their answer whether they value it or not; teach them from your questioning that while you value virginity, you do not judge or rule out non-virgins. I have met some virgins who were cruder than some non-virgins.

What is important is are they chaste? Are they a person who has learned to be responsible and mature? Are they someone you would trust if you or they had to travel on a business trip? Or if you were sick or incapacitated, could they remain faithful? Does their mind encompass love in all of its forms? Are they capable of honoring God as the focal point in a marriage, more than they honor themselves and their immediate needs and urges?

People who count how many days, weeks, or months that they have not “had it” are usually not to be trusted. People who belittle someone for being a virgin or for having lost their virginity with regrets are also not to be trusted.
 
Try your best to focus on your path. Ask God for help in finding your spouse. It does not matter what their history is as long as they are in a state of grace, love the Church and all her works, and is right for you. Let God be the judge.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Pmqs said:
Are catholic virgins in a minority? I mean, do a lot of catholics break the rules and do things before they commit and settle down? I want to adhere properly to the rules, but I want to find another virgin, but wondering how common or rare it is, these days.:confused:
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Well, considering that we live in a rather immoral society that promotes free sex at every turn, virginity is more of a minority across the board. But don’t focus on that, if you are doing God’s plan then what others do shouldn’t matter to you. If a majority decide to jump in front of a Mac truck do you join them because that’s what the majority are doing? No, you stay safe on the sides, warn others not to do that and pray for them when they make stupid choices that will harm their bodies and souls.
 
I will be remaining a virgin for the rest of my life. (I am not called to marriage…or the priesthood for that matter)

That being said, it depends how faithful they are. Ie. Not Cafeteria Catholic who may disagree with some moral/faith issues…etc.
 
Pmqs said:
Are catholic virgins in a minority?
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Probably.
I mean, do a lot of catholics break the rules and do things before they commit and settle down?
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Yes, but it’s certainly not limited to sex. With regard to sex, there is a strong natural urge, and most people lose their virginity at an age where they are not practicing.
I want to adhere properly to the rules, but I want to find another virgin, but wondering how common or rare it is, these days.:confused:
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With regard to marriage, I recommend not looking for someone that is free of a particular sexual sin, but rather someone that the is going to make a good spouse. From my own personal experience, being married twice, I’ll take the practicing spouse with sexual sin in her past over the nonpracticing one that is free of it any day of the week.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
I’d have to agree with the statement that virgins are a minority. In my peer group, I was the only one who waited for marriage.
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I was referring to the “unfortunately” aspect. Of course it’s better to wait for marriage, but married people are not going to be virgins after they get married.

I am aware that the OP was (hopefully) referring to those who are not married yet but hope to be.
 
i would say the catholics that took the faith seriouslly would be virgins. But with the modern world today it would be rare to find someone to be a virgin. Personally i am not a virgin i was young (not even a teen) , but i am not going to have sex until marriage, if i ever get married as paul says it is better to remain single
 
I can understand your wanting to marry a virgin. There are Catholic virgins. I think you should decide for yourself what sort of person to marry.
I would give some reasons why it can be better to marry a virgin, but I would expect some posters to go wild at this.
Someone who isn’t a virgin and repented could be a good wife, but you have the perfect right to decide this is not for you.
 
Auntie_A said:
Not sure if you are male or female but the same attitudes should apply either way. Virginity is to be valued but people are not to be judged…
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Well, people can be judged… its just that God the Father will hold you whatever standards you set for others. And no, refusing to judge anybody does not get you off the hook! 😉
What is important is are they chaste? Are they a person who has learned to be responsible and mature? …
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People who count how many days, weeks, or months that they have not “had it” are usually not to be trusted. People who belittle someone for being a virgin or for having lost their virginity with regrets are also not to be trusted.
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👍
 
I think it depends. Among Catholics as a whole, yes we are a minority. Amongst devout and church going catholics we might be more significant, but still in the minority. But we can’t judge people. A lot of the greatest catholics I know, including priests and religious, struggled in this area before they started to practice their faith. Everyone makes mistakes. God just cares how you finish and whether you are TRULY sorry.
 
pensmama87 said:
I was referring to the “unfortunately” aspect. Of course it’s better to wait for marriage, but married people are not going to be virgins after they get married.

I am aware that the OP was (hopefully) referring to those who are not married yet but hope to be.
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Ahh, got it. I was actually pretty upset when I started finding out just how many of my peers didn’t wait for marriage. With some it was no big deal, but there were others who had always given off a facade of devoutness who really surprised me. When I look at my closest family & friends, of the 60-70 in my general age group who self-identify as Catholic, I’m the only one who waited. That’s definitely not a good average.
 
St. Basil says (I can’t find the quote) that anyone who has committed a sin of lust in his heart is not a virgin.

I would focus on finding a spouse who is a good Catholic NOW rather than worry about their past. God cares about the NOW, not about the past.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
Ahh, got it. I was actually pretty upset when I started finding out just how many of my peers didn’t wait for marriage. With some it was no big deal, but there were others who had always given off a facade of devoutness who really surprised me. When I look at my closest family & friends, of the 60-70 in my general age group who self-identify as Catholic, I’m the only one who waited. That’s definitely not a good average.
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Were they really giving off a facade, or was it that they had repented?

I did not wait (I was not Christian), though now of course I wish I did. Those sins were cleansed, though, through baptism and confession. And my experience has led to me to conclude that I want to teach my children differently than how I was taught. But if they mess up, I definitely don’t want them to think that they are doomed and horrible people regardless of whether they repent. I certainly would hope others would not think I was being some kind of hypocrite because I advocate living in a Christian way now, when I did not back then!
 
robert_chacon said:
Funny question, or funny way to word it. In any event, it doesnt really matter. I wouldnt worry about it they way you pose the issue. Just look for a those pure of heart now. What has been done in the past is over if repented, and, the intention of the heart for purity now is all you need to even be concerned about. The way the question is worded just seems like a prurient interest , like starting a thread titled “Catholics Girls - Naughty or Nice?”
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I don’t think it’s a funny question at all. Definitely not prurient - I don’t get that from the question at all. :confused:

And I think it does matter, although given the statistics and the culture we live in, I’ve realized how the numbers are dwindling. So the odds may be stacked against finding someone, but it also wouldn’t be impossible.

Certainly if the OP is young, he or she might have a better chance of finding someone, and the ideal is not wrong to have, because it’s a shared value, and makes the waiting worth it, and possibly gives them the odds of starting out a marriage on a stronger foundation.

Now a person who made past mistakes and is strongly committed to not repeating them should not be dismissed out of hand. But I don’t think anyone should pass judgment on the OP for wanting the ideal, especially if he/she is willing to be strong and wait so as to be that ideal for his/her intended.

I’m in an older demographic and if I find anyone - I’m not currently actively looking, but just say I did meet someone - I’m probably going to have to accept him with a “past” and possibly with an ex-wife (annulment required) or whatever. And true, it’s what he is today that counts. But if I were young, I would still hold out hope for a period of time before thinking it’s impossible to find a virgin.
 
I waited for marriage and was so happy that I had that gift to give. When I was fortunate enough to have a second marriage I also waited.
 
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