Are catholic virgins in a minority?

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pensmama87 said:
Were they really giving off a facade, or was it that they had repented?

I did not wait (I was not Christian), though now of course I wish I did. Those sins were cleansed, though, through baptism and confession. And my experience has led to me to conclude that I want to teach my children differently than how I was taught. But if they mess up, I definitely don’t want them to think that they are doomed and horrible people regardless of whether they repent. I certainly would hope others would not think I was being some kind of hypocrite because I advocate living in a Christian way now, when I did not back then!
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Definitely a facade. Several had an extreme, holier-than-thou attitude, especially when it came to sexual matters. It was one of the main reasons they treated my wife so horribly. They eventually reached a point, though, where the scores and scores of guys they’d been with during that period became a bragging point. A couple others gave off a pristine, virginal image which ended up just being an act. It was a couple of people in this latter group who spread rumors about me and my wife and the unchaste things we had allegedly done, then looked down their noses at us for doing those things (which they’d made up) which they would supposedly never do. All the while they were sexually active (the one’s exploits would make your head spin). Oddly enough, the only people we knew who both believed and appreciated the fact that my wife & I were waiting for our wedding night were two of my most promiscuous friends. To this day they’ll tell me they envy the fact that I held out for her.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
Definitely a facade. Several had an extreme, holier-than-thou attitude, especially when it came to sexual matters. It was one of the main reasons they treated my wife so horribly. They eventually reached a point, though, where the scores and scores of guys they’d been with during that period became a bragging point. A couple others gave off a pristine, virginal image which ended up just being an act. It was a couple of people in this latter group who spread rumors about me and my wife and the unchaste things we had allegedly done, then looked down their noses at us for doing those things (which they’d made up) which they would supposedly never do. All the while they were sexually active (the one’s exploits would make your head spin). Oddly enough, the only people we knew who both believed and appreciated the fact that my wife & I were waiting for our wedding night were two of my most promiscuous friends. To this day they’ll tell me they envy the fact that I held out for her.
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It’s pathetic the lengths people will go to just for the “fun” of tormenting someone who’s just trying to mind their own business. Sorry you had to go through all of that. But kudos for sticking to your guns!👍👍
 
3DOCTORS said:
It’s pathetic the lengths people will go to just for the “fun” of tormenting someone who’s just trying to mind their own business. Sorry you had to go through all of that. But kudos for sticking to your guns!👍👍
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I agree. 👍
 
3DOCTORS said:
It’s pathetic the lengths people will go to just for the “fun” of tormenting someone who’s just trying to mind their own business. Sorry you had to go through all of that. But kudos for sticking to your guns!👍👍
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🙂
We still occasionally hear stories about the things we allegedly did when we were dating. I’m glad I loved and respected my wife enough to wait, and that when my kids ask me if it’s worth it (like our son already has) I can tell them in all honesty that it absolutely is.
 
Gordon_Sims said:
🙂
We still occasionally hear stories about the things we allegedly did when we were dating. I’m glad I loved and respected my wife enough to wait, and that when my kids ask me if it’s worth it (like our son already has) I can tell them in all honesty that it absolutely is.
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Wow, is this a younger generation phenomenon or what?! :eek: Seriously, I had no idea this kind of slander is that commonplace. No matter what their chronological age, sounds like quite a few people need to grow up! :rolleyes:
 
3DOCTORS said:
Wow, is this a younger generation phenomenon or what?! :eek: Seriously, I had no idea this kind of slander is that commonplace. No matter what their chronological age, sounds like quite a few people need to grow up! :rolleyes:
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I don’t know what the motivation behind it is. It’s only a couple people repeating the same 2-3 stories. It’s usually not even particularly malicious or spiteful, but comes up in discussions that touch on morals and chastity, (“yeah, but I remember that time so-and-so caught you two in the coat room at Mr. Smith’s party”). Nobody ever caught us in any room and we weren’t even at the party in question, but the story persists. I’ve told my wife numerous times that the next time the one person in particular brings it up I’m going to say, “Really? Well I remember the time you broke all your mom’s bowls and told her it was an accident when it was really a panic attack brought on by the fact that you thought you were 17 and pregnant and didn’t know who the potential dad was!” I’d never do that, but at least in my case it would be true. Still, glass houses and all that.
 
Our Archdiocese offered a class called “Second Virginity”. It was for those who made the mistake, were sorrowful and confessed, and who from then on would abstain until marriage. It may have been part of the Theology of the Body series. Can’t remember.
 
And what about those who never had intercourse, but certainly weren’t innocent before they were married. My husband and I were like that. We were very sexual while dating, but didn’t have intercourse until our wedding night. About 2 months before our wedding, we tried are hardest to avoid any kind of naked touching to try to make the wedding night more anticipated.
 
I think the secondary virginity concept is a good one.

RedSparklyShoes, do you understand the spiritual principles behind why “making out” is not the right thing to do? And go to Confession and ask God for help during that time before the wedding? Left to our own devices, we human beings are going to have a hard time seeing the reason for resisting sexual temptation, much less resisting it! But I hope you and your husband are doing well now. 🙂

The OP is looking for someone just to begin the dating process with and your story does touch upon another point - if the person the OP finds to date is also committed to chastity and hasn’t been sexually active, they’ll both have an easier time waiting until marriage. I know several other women who were married, or sexually active anyway, and they report that it’s hard to abstain once you’ve experienced that level of physical intimacy. Not impossible, but more difficult.
 
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