Are emails of soft porn from "friends" common?

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Wondering how common the practice is of forwarding such emails among “friends” - especially Catholic or Christian males. My husband says it’s very common, and I know they’ve been coming to him for years from his so-called “friends.” The ones I’m aware of are circulated among predominately middle-aged and older men (married and unmarried) and are usually photos of naked or half-naked females. They forward them to each other much as one would forward any regular email “jokes.” From a wife’s standpoint, it’s a very sadly disturbing practice, and has been at the core of many marital challenges for us.
Is it really as common as my husband says - even among Catholics and Christians? Has satan had as much success at it appears in this regard in the age of technology? Seems to me with friends like this, who needs enemies…
 
I have received them on occasion but dont open them an immediately delete. I don’t need any additiona\lnear occasion of sin in my life
 
Is your husband’s defense for looking at these emails that most guys do it? How common a practice may be is in no way a gauge on how moral a practice is, or how hurtful it is to his wife. This goes back to what most of our parents used to tell us as kids,“if your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” Who cares if most guys do it or not? This same line of reasoning is often used to not practice our faith. (98% of Catholic women use birth control, so it can’t be wrong - most recent example)

I just asked my husband if he receives those kinds of emails, and he says pretty much never. But I would also suspect that most of his friends would know he wouldn’t want to receive such emails.
 
JohnnyK said:
I have received them on occasion but dont open them an immediately delete. I don’t need any additiona\lnear occasion of sin in my life
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Very glad to hear what you do if you get them, JK! Excellent thinking on your part. I like to try to avoid additional/near occasions of sins myself - in any area.
I think part of the problem with the emails my husband gets is that it’s hard to tell sometimes from the “subject” what they are without opening them. He also gets work-related or other important questions from many of these same senders that he must respond to.
 
Not my friends;)

They know not to send me any.

Why? Because I’ve asked them not to.

Edited because I misread, I think, the question.

Yes, guys at work do send many “dirty” “smutty” pictures and jokes to each other via email.

It’s unprofessional, but every men from every profession and trade do it.
 
My Catholic male friends would never think to do this. And even IF someone got the idea to start sending me stuff like that, I’d give them one warning before completely breaking contact with them over it. Your husband’s excuse is completely lame and you have no reason to put up with this from him (assuming he actually looks at these emails).
 
hannajomar said:
Is your husband’s defense for looking at these emails that most guys do it? How common a practice may be is in no way a gauge on how moral a practice is, or how hurtful it is to his wife. This goes back to what most of our parents used to tell us as kids,“if your friends all jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” Who cares if most guys do it or not? This same line of reasoning is often used to not practice our faith. (98% of Catholic women use birth control, so it can’t be wrong - most recent example)

I just asked my husband if he receives those kinds of emails, and he says pretty much never. But I would also suspect that most of his friends would know he wouldn’t want to receive such emails.
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That was originally his defense, and a pretty expected one, unfortunately. After some difficult discussions about it together, he says he “asked them not to send them.” Many still send them, so I have no idea if he actually did ask them or not. This whole subject area is a topic where untruths went on for awhile. I don’t think he really minds getting them, and I suspect he just told them to send them to a different email address (one that I would rarely see.)

I’m very glad for you that your husband apparently doesn’t receive such things by email. You’re very fortunate. Thanks for the response.
 
I had a recent conversation about this with another Catholic wife. She told me her husband had joined some parish committee and was put an emaill list. He started getting naughty pictures from the other guys on this committee, who apparently thought it was hysterical to send pictures of nekkid ladies to each other. When he told them not to send pictures like that to him, they asked him if he’d gotten “caught” by his wife. Seriously? The only reason why a guy wouldn’t want to open his email and find nekkid lady pictures is because he’s afraid his wife is going to catch him? He told them that, no, he just didn’t want to get those kinds of pictures, and the some of the other guys had a very difficult time understanding this thinking.

:confused::confused::confused:

For the record, my husband isn’t on any soft porn email exchange.

Luna
 
It’s a sin or near occasion to sin, but it’s extremely common in America, from what I’ve seen, and extremely common even in more conservative countries. You can tell the men, “Do not send these to me”, and you’ll likely be in for a long conversation about it (“why not?”), even amongst Christian or Catholic men who are not very pious - it’s a commonplace of modern culture, it seems - and, even after that, you’ll probably still get some, as the usual technique is to “forward to all in address book” (it’s a hassle to forward to some).

The best method is to delete when you get it, or to block images in e-mail (all providers and clients can do this to save bandwidth), and leave HTML enabled. One can also block HTML from e-mail, so it is text-only, but this will break a good percentage of the e-mails that one receives. I believe there are software that can be purchased to filter the results, but with all e-mail filters, some bad gets through, and some good gets caught and deleted accidentally, so I do not recommend them. If they are sent as links or attachments, don’t click on the link, and don’t open attachments with obvious names, or that have the file extensions of images (.jpg, .jpg, .tiff, .gif, .png, .bmp, etc.) unless one is expecting an image (although most modern software produces business images either in .ppt powerpoint format for slides, or .svg vector graphics format for graphs).
 
As far as Satan’s success in the age of technology, look at hacking for profit and “sexting”. Satan has had great success with the information superhighway. And, I am certain, God has had great success using it to bring people to Christ as well.
 
Never.

All of our family’s emails go to one computer’s Window’s Live Mail program. It updates on its own all day, so everybody in the house can see everybody’s email (if they wanted to). So my husband would stop that in a HUGE hurry before his daughters saw what “good men” thought of women.

I don’t have access to my husband’s work email, but unless he had a strong desire to get fired (because the company retains all emails, IMs, etc) he would stop that ASAP. He’s not dumb. doubt anyone would even try. He’s too straight-laced and he’s fairly high-ranking. That’s a mistake no employee would make–it’s evident in his whole being that trash would not appeal to him.

The closest thing is one high school friend on facebook that is a professional comic who talked disrespectfully of women. My husband defriended him. Again, we believe if you have to sneak away from the kids to check your Facebook page, something is wrong.

I’ve cut down coming to this forum “Family” topic board because so many topics are mindboggling to me. And again, if I can’t read it in front of my kids, I probably don’t need to be reading it. (I know people need a place to go for safe advice, so I’m not saying it should stop, I just can’t be a part of it I guess).

It’s freeing to have a life that can be shared by all–your kids, your spouse, your parents. I’ll never accept that “trashy” things are okay because we’re adults. (Like when former teen stars dress trampy because they are “adults” now. What is that? My mom is an adult and she never dressed that way. I’m an adult, and I don’t dress that way. I hate when the world defines trashy things as “grown-up things.” No, they are just plain trashy.) I’m done with most R-rated movies. TV is losing its appeal. And my husband would have a tough time selling me on the fact that it was ever okay look at another undressed woman.

We have tons of Mormon families and friends (more than Catholic, although that is slowly changing). Is this why I don’t understand most of these topics? Is that why my life is cuss-word, alcohol, R-rated, & racy-picture free? After a few CRHP experiences I’m starting to worry about the Catholic men my daughters might marry.
 
Most of my friends are atheists and they don’t send me e-mails like that ever!
 
I think your husband is having you on about this. My husband has never received any of these emails.
 
I get those emails and I’m a woman! Their gross, tacky, not funny and decidedly redneck. My fiance calls them “Iowa humor”. I wouldn’t make too much of it. Just hit delete or tell the people that forward those stupid chain emails to direct them to a different account (one you never use). They are just being lazy by forwarding them to everyone and not thinking about your sensibilities.

I would have thought that things like that would have died in the '90’s.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I get those emails and I’m a woman! Their gross, tacky, not funny and decidedly redneck. My fiance calls them “Iowa humor”. I wouldn’t make too much of it. Just hit delete or tell the people that forward those stupid chain emails to direct them to a different account (one you never use). They are just being lazy by forwarding them to everyone and not thinking about your sensibilities.

I would have thought that things like that would have died in the '90’s.
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I have a lot of relatives in Iowa who would never do such things. “Redneck” does not include porn, either.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
I have a lot of relatives in Iowa who would never do such things. “Redneck” does not include porn, either.
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I’m from Iowa, its just his way of poking friendly fun at me, not speaking ill of anyone who lives there.

I think the forwards that she is talking about are just stupid jokes with scantily clad women. Not actual serious masturbatory material.
 
Never got them. Not even when I was single and in the military.

🤷

To be fair, it may be common among your husband’s circle of friends. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but it does mean that (from his POV) he’s not lying to you when he says he thinks it’s common.

Just something to think about.
 
Not among my friends.

I probably know many men who would, however they don’t have my number or email, and they could only fairly be called “friends” if you used a very loose definition.
 
I have a group of friends who regularly send out everything from soft porn to hardcore and gay porn. They’re texts and all framed as part of a joke. I almost never text and seldom check them when I receive them. When I realized what they were doing, I told a couple of them to leave me out. When they got indignant and wanted to know why not (all while ridiculing me and questioning my manhood), I told them I didn’t appreciate that sort of thing and didn’t want even the possibility of my wife and kids seeing something like that on my phone. As luck would have it, this conversation took place in front of one of their wives and she’d been angry and disgusted about them for months. She spoke up about it and the ridicule and pretty much the entire conversation stopped immediately. The positive thing was that I was taken off the list.
 
triumphguy said:
Not my friends;)

They know not to send me any.

Why? Because I’ve asked them not to.

Edited because I misread, I think, the question.

Yes, guys at work do send many “dirty” “smutty” pictures and jokes to each other via email.

It’s unprofessional, but every men from every profession and trade do it.
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Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut from your viewpoint, T. I’m glad you at least don’t get them and you had the guts to say don’t send them. Good for you.

Sad to hear that many guys you work with send them to each other, though. Even in the workplace. Doesn’t say much for society lately. Satan must be thrilled.

God bless you for keeping your inbox clean.
 
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