Are families going MIA?

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Sierrah

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I’ve noticed an increasing number of people stating they don’t want kids and planning on never having any. I would like to but God will have to work on that for me if it’s his will. But overall I see more people getting pets rather then having children??? :eek::rolleyes:🤷
 
From how I read your post, this is something you are observing in the past few weeks, months, or years, not a study you have read.

I don’t know if in the US that it is a fact that less people are having babies all of a sudden. I have read of studies about countries in Europe that this is a fact with the exception of some cultural backgrounds.

Anyway, right now it seems to me that EVERYONE is having kids, maybe I am noticing more because my DH and my fertility struggles, our age, our community, friends, family, Church, who we hang out with…

I learned long ago that in many cases (not all of course), if you are looking for the negative you will find the negative, if you look for the positive you will find the positive.
 
I’ve noticed an increasing number of people stating they don’t want kids and planning on never having any. I would like to but God will have to work on that for me if it’s his will. But overall I see more people getting pets rather then having children??? :eek::rolleyes:🤷
The infertility rates in our country are up. And while I know this (never having children, but able to) is the case with some people, I just can’t believe it’s all the cases. Maybe some of these couples really WANT kids but are too ashamed to say they can’t have them due to infertility. We can’t have children but would gladly welcome a dozen if God willed it. So, for now, we have two dogs and foster others. We aren’t getting pets instead of children, we enjoy them as we wait for the blessing of children. We, of course, would much rather have children than pets. I would never have a pet over a child or siblings for that child. But one day I hope to have both children and pets.

Like JustAnotherThou said. I see pregnancy and larger families on the rise. Even non religious persons seem to be having 3, 4, 5, even more vs the original 1-2 a couple. Many celebrities are pregnant or mothers right now. It really is on the rise. But, again, infertility makes me extra perceptive to these things. 😉
 
The infertility rates in our country are up. And while I know this (never having children, but able to) is the case with some people, I just can’t believe it’s all the cases. Maybe some of these couples really WANT kids but are too ashamed to say they can’t have them due to infertility. We can’t have children but would gladly welcome a dozen if God willed it. So, for now, we have two dogs and foster others. We aren’t getting pets instead of children, we enjoy them as we wait for the blessing of children. We, of course, would much rather have children than pets. I would never have a pet over a child or siblings for that child. But one day I hope to have both children and pets.

Like JustAnotherThou said. I see pregnancy and larger families on the rise. Even non religious persons seem to be having 3, 4, 5, even more vs the original 1-2 a couple. Many celebrities are pregnant or mothers right now. It really is on the rise. But, again, infertility makes me extra perceptive to these things. 😉
I’ve read articles citing studies that show that yes, couples are increasingly choosing childlessness and instead “raising” pets (meanwhile single women are increasingly choosing parenthood). I think there’s definitely a disconnect now between children and marriage in our broader culture!! Marriage is seen more as a romantic/financial fulfillment whereas parenthood is seen as an entirely separate source of fulfillment. Both are being put off until almost 30 where they may or may not come together! But, in Catholic circles, I’ve seen lots of couples having kids. I mean, lots. And the ones who don’t are struggling with infertility and faithfully enduring the baby cries all throughout Mass, wishing they had kids too! I for one would love to have kids, but first need to get married. And I am unwilling to go the “single mom by choice” route that is more and more popular! 😦 So yeah, I am part of the statistic of delaying marriage and childbearing, but not by choice.
 
Raising kids IS tougher than it was decades ago. But a couple of my own daughters ahve been brainwashed into thinking that the world is doomed anyway, so what’s the point? It’s sad to see such hopeless and fatalistic viewpoints prevailing. 😦
 
Raising kids IS tougher than it was decades ago. But a couple of my own daughters ahve been brainwashed into thinking that the world is doomed anyway, so what’s the point? It’s sad to see such hopeless and fatalistic viewpoints prevailing. 😦
I know exactly what you mean. I teach a science class online for mainly public school students. There is a question within the course asking the students what they think the world will be like in 20 years. At first I was shocked that 100% of their answers indicated that the world will be getting worse and basically will be a terrible place, due to humans not caring about the environment. Now it has become commonplace, so that I would be shocked if any student came up with positive solutions or took a skeptical (i.e. scientific) approach to global warming. The most typical response predicts environmental disaster caused by global warming.

Since this is a secular school run by the state, I limit myself to pointing out the glaring scientific inaccuracies in their world view. Most of them actually think “An Inconvenient Truth” is an accurate documentary and have been completely brainwashed by their public school teachers into thinking that manmade global warming is actually a fact.

But the spiritual implications of the majority of a generation feeling the kind of hopelessness I see in these children is quite disturbing. I was a radical environmentalist in high school and college (until I educated myself as to the scientific realities). But at that time, I was in the extreme minority. Now it is the “cool” thing to think that humans are a scourge upon the earth.
 
I know exactly what you mean. I teach a science class online for mainly public school students. There is a question within the course asking the students what they think the world will be like in 20 years. At first I was shocked that 100% of their answers indicated that the world will be getting worse and basically will be a terrible place, due to humans not caring about the environment. Now it has become commonplace, so that I would be shocked if any student came up with positive solutions or took a skeptical (i.e. scientific) approach to global warming. The most typical response predicts environmental disaster caused by global warming.

Since this is a secular school run by the state, I limit myself to pointing out the glaring scientific inaccuracies in their world view. Most of them actually think “An Inconvenient Truth” is an accurate documentary and have been completely brainwashed by their public school teachers into thinking that manmade global warming is actually a fact.

But the spiritual implications of the majority of a generation feeling the kind of hopelessness I see in these children is quite disturbing. I was a radical environmentalist in high school and college (until I educated myself as to the scientific realities). But at that time, I was in the extreme minority. Now it is the “cool” thing to think that humans are a scourge upon the earth.
Charlatans such as Al Gore have much to answer for. He's as much of a con man as Bernie Madoff. It seems that there is at least one young person who commits suicide every other week in my area now. It's the leftists who destroy the environment. Look at the USSR! I attended the first W. inauguration, and the grounds were spotless. Yet, after BO's, I understand that the city looked as if a tornado had gone through. The left talks a good game, but they see decent people as suckers for the taking, and history proves they are right. Blessings, Rob :(
 
Raising kids IS tougher than it was decades ago. But a couple of my own daughters ahve been brainwashed into thinking that the world is doomed anyway, so what’s the point? It’s sad to see such hopeless and fatalistic viewpoints prevailing. 😦
I guess if nobody had kids the world would be doomed! It takes a certain level of reproduction just to maintain a society. If fertility rates drop too low, they essentially cannot be reversed, and the society dies out or is replaced by immigrants.

In truth, big families will save the nation, and the world. And big families are happier.

I’m sorry that kids have been brainwashed with so much negativity, regarding the environment, population, sex and marriage (not to mention history, but that too.) It’s hard to overcome.
 
I guess it depends where you live. Sometimes I feel I am the only one within 50 miles that is married and chosing not to have kids! 😛 Though most people around me do seem to have small families of one or two kids…but I can;t really be sure.
 
There are, indeed, a lot of couples who are choosing childlessness these days. There is also a great deal more infertility today than there was in the past. Part of this is the fact that women are waiting until they have completed their education, established themselves in their careers and developed financial security incluing owning a house. The biological truth is that we were created to become first time mothers at a much younger age, in general. While some can conceive initially in their late thirties and forties, the statistical probability of conception without complications and fertility assistance goes down significantly from 35 onward.

The answer is a return to a more traditional time. Sigh…sometimes you DO have to fight despair.:confused:
 
I found the following article very thought provoking: newsweek.com/id/194589 . In the end, I can’t help but agree whole-heartedly with the author’s point that the decision to bear and raise children is a privilege. NOT everyone is destined, deserving or capable of managing such an enormous responsibility. It is a highly personal decision carrying life-long consequences and responsibility~which no one can or should ever make for another. Nor should judgment about the validity of an individual’s judgment be inflicted by outsiders–absent clear evidence of neglect or abuse in the case of someone who has chosen parenthood.

The ability to reproduce is not enough in and of itself to subject anyone to parenthood who does not willingly and deliberately choose that path. I think we’re way past the time where we look suspiciously upon anyone who refrains from jumping into the parenthood pool without more than a casual first glance. And for those who do conclude they are not cut out to parent~for whatever reason~I say THANK YOU for saving this work for those who are truly ready to embrace and fulfill that role.
 
I found the following article very thought provoking: newsweek.com/id/194589 . In the end, I can’t help but agree whole-heartedly with the author’s point that the decision to bear and raise children is a privilege. NOT everyone is destined, deserving or capable of managing such an enormous responsibility. It is a highly personal decision carrying life-long consequences and responsibility~which no one can or should ever make for another. Nor should judgment about the validity of an individual’s judgment be inflicted by outsiders–absent clear evidence of neglect or abuse in the case of someone who has chosen parenthood.

The ability to reproduce is not enough in and of itself to subject anyone to parenthood who does not willingly and deliberately choose that path. I think we’re way past the time where we look suspiciously upon anyone who refrains from jumping into the parenthood pool without more than a casual first glance. And for those who do conclude they are not cut out to parent~for whatever reason~I say THANK YOU for saving this work for those who are truly ready to embrace and fulfill that role.
When a person commits to Catholic marriage, they are committing to the vocation of parenthood and promising to be open to life. Choosing marriage is choosing parenthood, and the idea that married couples can somehow “opt out” entirely is very modern and is most definitely not part of Catholic teachings. Actually, any time a person engages in sexual activity - “protection” or none - they need to be prepared for the possibility that life will occur (sex = babies). Unfortunately, many Americans today do not make the connection that sex = babies, and so we have the some of the highest unwed pregnancy rates in the world. Also, unfortunately, there is a false view these days that marriage and parenthood is purely personal. No, in fact, it’s not entirely. Family life, stability, and health are what make the world “go round” and as Catholics we believe God is the author of family life - it is not something we invented - and natural law testifies to this. Even the government recognizes that some aspects of family life are not just personal. I was just reading about how fertility rates are so low in Europe that governments are getting very nervous and trying to find ways to inspire couples to have children because otherwise the culture and the economy cannot be sustained. The “personal” decisions of couples to only have one child or no children could quite literally be the downfall of these nations. (Of course, I would never advocate forcing anyone to have children, but the point is, marriage and parenthood are not just private - they are important elements of humanity, communities and cultures).

Government and politics aside, as Catholics, there are circumstances (marriage, especially Catholic marriage) where completely “opting out” of parenthood is a grave sin and goes against your vows.
 
I found the following article very thought provoking: newsweek.com/id/194589 . In the end, I can’t help but agree whole-heartedly with the author’s point that the decision to bear and raise children is a privilege. NOT everyone is destined, deserving or capable of managing such an enormous responsibility. It is a highly personal decision carrying life-long consequences and responsibility~which no one can or should ever make for another. Nor should judgment about the validity of an individual’s judgment be inflicted by outsiders–absent clear evidence of neglect or abuse in the case of someone who has chosen parenthood.

The ability to reproduce is not enough in and of itself to subject anyone to parenthood who does not willingly and deliberately choose that path. I think we’re way past the time where we look suspiciously upon anyone who refrains from jumping into the parenthood pool without more than a casual first glance. And for those who do conclude they are not cut out to parent~for whatever reason~I say THANK YOU for saving this work for those who are truly ready to embrace and fulfill that role.
That may be a SECULAR viewpoint - but what did God say? “Be fertile and multiply” is what we read in Genesis 1:28. Additionally, in the Catholic nuptial rite, one of the questions asked is “Will you accept children lovingly?”
 
I know that, for me, a family is a long time coming. It has nothing to do with selfishness or w/e. Here’s why.

I may be the perfect biological age for a child to come, but I certainly was not emotionally ready out of high school and I am not now. I did not know how to be independent till I got to college. I didn’t have a job until this past summer. I am still in college and just paying rent for the first time. I am still extremely innocent and somewhat shy about romance, I’ve never even kissed a boy! Also, there are so many things I want to do before I marry and have a child. I want to join the Peace Corps (and after a lot of prayer, research, and talks with my mother and best friends, I am definitely applying next year), get my dual citizenship, hopefully work for a humanitarian organization (as one of their on-the-ground people), train to be a doula, go to grad school (public health!)…it goes on…

Marriage and children are not things I take lightly. Should I be called and blessed, I want to make sure I’m going in with no regrets. My mom sent me to college and gave me so much freedom in that regard (with the school, major, etc), because she didn’t have a choice. Her way out of her house was getting married and, while she loves my dad and she loves the three of us, she didn’t want that to be for me or my sister.

So, do I think moving toward a traditional time is the answer? If by “traditional”, you mean when women had to have men’s permission for everything, didn’t go to college, didn’t vote, couldn’t work outside of the house, or have any say whatsoever, the answer is no! If it meant, marry and have kids young, but society would actually accept it and it would be easier to parent while in college, then maybe that’s a good thing.

At the same time, please remember that there are those of us younger women who are simply not ready for marriage and family life. There are those of us who do have big dreams and hope to accomplish at least a couple of them. There are those of us who are still innocent or working through issues (or both) before they can find a suitable partner. Finally, there are those of us who know that, regardless of what a bunch of other Catholics think, God isn’t calling us right now. We also know that God calls people to small families as He does to big ones. He doesn’t love a family less just because they have two kids and that’s it, or because Mom waited till thirty to have them.

Most families I know have four or five anyway, but I grew up in an Irish/Italian Catholic town:D

I think all we really can do is pray for all families…
 
So, do I think moving toward a traditional time is the answer? If by “traditional”, you mean when women had to have men’s permission for everything, didn’t go to college, didn’t vote, couldn’t work outside of the house, or have any say whatsoever, the answer is no! If it meant, marry and have kids young, but society would actually accept it and it would be easier to parent while in college, then maybe that’s a good thing.

At the same time, please remember that there are those of us younger women who are simply not ready for marriage and family life. There are those of us who do have big dreams and hope to accomplish at least a couple of them. There are those of us who are still innocent or working through issues (or both) before they can find a suitable partner. Finally, there are those of us who know that, regardless of what a bunch of other Catholics think, God isn’t calling us right now. We also know that God calls people to small families as He does to big ones. He doesn’t love a family less just because they have two kids and that’s it, or because Mom waited till thirty to have them.

I think all we really can do is pray for all families…
Dear SanctaMaria! Bless you in your education and your goals! You are not yet married and so I don’t think anyone here would expect you to be actively pursuing parenthood at this time. As a Catholic, though, when one marries, the committment includes accepting children at the time, and in the number, that God decides. As a medical student, I watched colleagues marry, some parent (I was a single mom with three boys through my undergraduate work and half of medical school) but most actively contracepted and a number aborted pregnancies because of the convenience of the timing. Those are the people whose choices set them up for infertility issues later.

There are those who are never called to marriage, or who are called much later in life. There are married couples who follow every teaching of the Church and have only one or two children; and there are those who marry and, for whatever purpose, God leaves them childless. That isn’t a reason to look down on them. or to think they contribute less to the world.

By a more traditional time, I mean a time when people didn’t live their lives solely for themselves and their own pleasure; but saw themselves as having a responsibility to the communities they lived in. I mean a time when the most common response to the knowledge of a pregnancy was joy and not “Oh NO! What am I going to do about THIS?” I mean a time when most young people (there are those who do it today but not a lot) knew that they had to work hard in life and that they would have to work their way up to the life that their parents demonstrated. Today, many demand to start at the top of life or not at all, which is one reason that we see so many children failing or demanding that their parents or the state pay their way in life.

I delivered more children, in the last 10 years of my community career, to 12-to-18 year olds who were unmarried (and some who actively tried to get pregnant) than to married couples who joyful awaited their growing families. Don’t get me wrong, I did get to deliver numbers 10, 11 and 12 to a wonderful family whose children were among the kindest, most faithful and most well disciplined I’ve ever seen! (Mom has a masters degree, homeschools and chooses to stay home; and most certainly **doesn’t **ask her husband’s permission for everything she does).

I hope that clarifies it. No one expects you to be searching for your husband at this time in your life. When God calls you to the vocation, it will be time, not before. Pursue your goals and learn every bit of information you can now. Every experience you have, contributes to who you are becoming. You have lofty goals and are well on your way to achieving them. (BTW, While not required, it does help to have been through childbirth when becoming a douhla). Blessings, Dori
 
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