Are fetishes a sin?

[LongingSoul]

Earlier in this thread I looked up the definition of “fetish” and in most dictionaries I would say the definition would agree with you. And so would I as well. But when you expand the definition to popular use then I don’t see the problem with some things. A foot fetish enjoyed by both people would be an example.

Nothing sinful about that.

Or is Rex Ryan due for the confessional.

(it occurs to me that you may not know whom he is, but he is a coach of a Football team in America. He has a well documented and unfortunately public foot fetish about his wife’s feet.) The only sin I know of though is his play calling.

For the record I do not find a foot fetish to be particularly exciting… and it certainly COULD be disordered but does not necessarily have to be.

Again, if using the strictest definition I would agree with you.

The definitions are odd. Look them up. The sexual use is not the first use. I had no idea of the other uses, and with all those years spent in theology class… Who knew!?

But assuming the attraction or behaviour falls outside normal, primal instincts… even if it does just seem like an amusing, benign quirk … an element within it has to be considered off kilter. Perhaps not being a sin but definitely constituting an occasion of sin. By that I mean having the flaw that excerpts a ‘pull’ away from godly communion.

For example, think of the little things we do that constitute superstition. Knock on wood. Crossing the fingers etc. Although you wouldn’t call them sins per se… they do speak of a godless expression of hopefulness that replaces an action we would normally direct towards God.

A little quirk I have is the smell of ‘a hard days work’ on a man. (Not BO that’s gone bad) It is a real turn on to me. I don’t consider it a sin when that smell awakens something for me… but I would if I tried to recreate it in an unnatural way for the purpose of pleasure. (ie, make it into… or let it become… a fetish) When it happens in the natural course of the day to day marital relationship, it has primal meaning… but to direct focus to it as the goal of a marital encounter would be taking away what is good and proper between a couple.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

But assuming the attraction or behaviour falls outside normal, primal instincts… even if it does just seem like an amusing, benign quirk … an element within it has to be considered off kilter. Perhaps not being a sin but definitely constituting an occasion of sin. By that I mean having the flaw that excerpts a ‘pull’ away from godly communion.

For example, think of the little things we do that constitute superstition. Knock on wood. Crossing the fingers etc. Although you wouldn’t call them sins per se… they do speak of a godless expression of hopefulness that replaces an action we would normally direct towards God.

A little quirk I have is the smell of ‘a hard days work’ on a man. (Not BO that’s gone bad) It is a real turn on to me. I don’t consider it a sin when that smell awakens something for me… but I would if I tried to recreate it in an unnatural way for the purpose of pleasure. (ie, make it into… or let it become… a fetish) When it happens in the natural course of the day to day marital relationship, it has primal meaning… but to direct focus to it as the goal of a marital encounter would be taking away what is good and proper between a couple.

For example, think of the little things we do that constitute superstition. Knock on wood. Crossing the fingers etc. Although you wouldn’t call them sins per se… they do speak of a godless expression of hopefulness that replaces an action we would normally direct towards God.

I agree 100 percent with this. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. And I would go so far as to actually call it sin. Though perhaps venial.

A little quirk I have is the smell of ‘a hard days work’ on a man. (Not BO that’s gone bad) It is a real turn on to me. I don’t consider it a sin when that smell awakens something for me… but I would if I tried to recreate it in an unnatural way for the purpose of pleasure. (ie, make it into… or let it become… a fetish) When it happens in the natural course of the day to day marital relationship, it has primal meaning… but to direct focus to it as the goal of a marital encounter would be taking away what is good and proper between a couple

But certainly you could encourage your husband to work hard if he knew that about you. Or inform him that there are certain times when you are more into the idea of the marital embrace. Certainly tailoring one’s experience is not sinful.

 

[987mk]

You do recognize that there is a disorder in what you are defending right? That regardless if someone likes pain or derives pleasure from it it is still wrong right?

Seems 100% subjective to me. Where did God ever say or even come close to saying that Husbands and Wives aren’t allowed to use their God given sensation of pain to enhance their love?

If a Sado Masochist likes to be punched in the face should I do it?

If both husband and wife consent to the activity, both understand and accept the risks, both receive enjoyment out of the activity, then why not? On another note, you’ll not find much face punching in BDSM.

I am still curious if you can defend inflicting pain or mutilating someone to be in line with Holy Marital co-creation with God.

Tattoos, earings, various piercings all mutilate the body. Are there not Catholics who scourge and scar their bodies while re-enacting the stations of the cross? ( Yes, yes there are.)

Were there not Saints who scourged and scarred their bodies? Yes, yes there were.

Or if domination has it’s place in a Holy Marraige?

Religion is domination.

Telling a married couple that they may not engage in BDSM is domination.

It is kind of sick when you think about it.

If two people are lucky enough to find each other in this great big world and then find out that they connect sexually and share the same interests…it’s beautiful.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Seems 100% subjective to me. Where did God ever say or even come close to saying that Husbands and Wives aren’t allowed to use their God given sensation of pain to enhance their love?

If both husband and wife consent to the activity, both understand and accept the risks, both receive enjoyment out of the activity, then why not? On another note, you’ll not find much face punching in BDSM.

Tattoos, earings, various piercings all mutilate the body. Are there not Catholics who scourge and scar their bodies while re-enacting the stations of the cross? ( Yes, yes there are.)

Were there not Saints who scourged and scarred their bodies? Yes, yes there were.

Religion is domination.

Telling a married couple that they may not engage in BDSM is domination.

If two people are lucky enough to find each other in this great big world and then find out that they connect sexually and share the same interests…it’s beautiful.

I am speaking as a faithful Catholic man who is married and has children. Your view of domination and religion is not one I share. I am not sure how fruitful it would be to continue. Are you familiar with Theology of the Body or the Church’s teachings?

 

[987mk]

I am speaking as a faithful Catholic man who is married and has children. Your view of domination and religion is not one I share. I am not sure how fruitful it would be to continue. Are you familiar with Theology of the Body or the Church’s teachings?

I am familiar with Theology of the Body and the Church’s teaching.

I am unconvinced that your God would have a list of specific sensations that his faithful and married followers may not experience while engaged in the marital act of sexual reproduction.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I am familiar with Theology of the Body and the Church’s teaching.

I am unconvinced that your God would have a list of specific sensations that his faithful and married followers may not experience while engaged in the marital act of sexual reproduction.

ok

 

[LongingSoul]

But certainly you could encourage your husband to work hard if he knew that about you. Or inform him that there are certain times when you are more into the idea of the marital embrace. Certainly tailoring one’s experience is not sinful.

No, I don’t even give it that much authority. Part of its appeal is the naturalness of it. Having practiced periodic abstinence in family planning for many, many years, I’m deeply aware of the bank of experience that is available during the opportunities to come together. People these days think that sexual intercourse is only about the short time of the act. It isn’t. It’s a culmination of the dance continually going on throughout the month, the years and the lifetime of marriage. When I’m aware of that pleasant experience of ‘the smell’… it doesn’t evaporate, wasted when the opportunity for sex isn’t there… it goes to the bank of memories (our bodies have memory as well as our mind) that build the bond that is intermittently physically expressed by intercourse.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

No, I don’t even give it that much authority. Part of its appeal is the naturalness of it. Having practiced periodic abstinence in family planning for many, many years, I’m deeply aware of the bank of experience that is available during the opportunities to come together. People these days think that sexual intercourse is only about the short time of the act. It isn’t. It’s a culmination of the dance continually going on throughout the month, the years and the lifetime of marriage. When I’m aware of that pleasant experience of ‘the smell’… it doesn’t evaporate, wasted when the opportunity for sex isn’t there… it goes to the bank of memories (our bodies have memory as well as our mind) that build the bond that is intermittently physically expressed by intercourse.

Wow. that was a nice post.

 

[LongingSoul]

Wow. that was a nice post.

Why thankyou.

 

[LokisMom]

I am familiar with Theology of the Body and the Church’s teaching.

I am unconvinced that your God would have a list of specific sensations that his faithful and married followers may not experience while engaged in the marital act of sexual reproduction.

You are correct.

 

[MarionA]

I think this is something to discuss with your confessor or spiritual director. You’re basically inquiring “is this a sin”, and there’s nothing directly in the catechism on this particular subject.

I do think that even in marriage role-playing someone else during intercourse is a sin.

My confessor told me that any sexual activity in marriage is acceptable as long as the man’s sperm is deposited into the female’s vagina.