Are gay Catholics condemned to loneliness?

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One thing that I have noticed is that many tv shows for kids now have romantic subplots including kids who are way to young to even think about romance. Yet at ages as young as 8 they are already being basically told that romance is the most important thing.
I think this hyperfocus on romance while ignoring friendship is why some gay people are clamoring for marriage.

In today’s society, people think that a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite or the same sex is the only way people find relief from loneliness.

It is only eros that counts, while philos,storge and agape are ignored.
 
I think this hyperfocus on romance while ignoring friendship is why some gay people are clamoring for marriage.

In today’s society, people think that a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite or the same sex is the only way people find relief from loneliness.

It is only eros that counts, while philos,storge and agape are ignored.
Absolutely agree 100%. Here is an example. My Grad school Christian student group brought in a speaker to talk about sexual ethics from a Christian worldview (I’m not sure what her tradition was but she wasn’t Catholic or Orthodox).

Basically she started with the premise of why people of sex and went from there. However the issue is this. Culture at large tells you the only way to feel loved, wanted, cared for, etc. Is within a romantic sexual relationship. Rather than break apart that falsehood (and talk about phila, agape etc,) she and everyone else seemingly bought into that. Their only difference with the secular world is basically just wait to marriage to have all that. However the connotation seems to be that they at least implicitly agree with the notion that love is only in marriage.

With that entire talk not one mention of celibacy. When a person asked about it, they said they can have hope for marriage in the future. It was extremely frustrating and discouraging as a person in a celibate vocation. Granted I’m not really open with them about being celibate or my own personal cross
 
Absolutely agree 100%. Here is an example. My Grad school Christian student group brought in a speaker to talk about sexual ethics from a Christian worldview (I’m not sure what her tradition was but she wasn’t Catholic or Orthodox).

Basically she started with the premise of why people of sex and went from there. However the issue is this. Culture at large tells you the only way to feel loved, wanted, cared for, etc. Is within a romantic sexual relationship. Rather than break apart that falsehood (and talk about phila, agape etc,) she and everyone else seemingly bought into that. Their only difference with the secular world is basically just wait to marriage to have all that. However the connotation seems to be that they at least implicitly agree with the notion that love is only in marriage.

With that entire talk not one mention of celibacy. When a person asked about it, they said they can have hope for marriage in the future. It was extremely frustrating and discouraging as a person in a celibate vocation. Granted I’m not really open with them about being celibate or my own personal cross
Your Christian speaker may be Evangelical. I noticed this is how they approach sexuality.

I noticed Evangelicals hold the position that people should say no to sex and when they get married, they can have all the sex they want.

To Evangelicals, marriage is a matter of when and not if.
 
No.

Ask your friend to explain those who have been completely healed, and no longer have the slightest inclination to the acts.
 
No.

Ask your friend to explain those who have been completely healed, and no longer have the slightest inclination to the acts.
That’s not a very effective argument because it can be countered by the many many who despite orientation change efforts, their attractions remain and have not changed.

The bigger thing is this. From a Catholic perspective, we all have a cross to carry this side of Heaven. That cross often includes periods or times of trials, tribulations, and struggles. The important thing to know is that with Christ, fellowship of support from our brothers and sisters, we can overcome those trials in our sanctification process.

Additionally, there is a need to address this false narrative of either married with love in a fulfilling life or single alone and without love. Celibacy may necessarily mean without eros, but it does not mean without love. Love found in friendship (phila) can be just as strong and fulfilling. This idolatary of eros and viewing it as almost a necessity for a fullfiling life is hurting many people’s spiritual journey whether that be gay/ssa people or single previous divorced people (who did not qualify for an anullment). In both cases, the person is most likely called to celibacy (in this case unchosen) but not all vocations are chosen. Taking this perspective would be a much more effective way of engaging.

Especially considering a large portion of reparative therapy change efforts have been shown to not actually work (despite the person undergoing horrible things or spending thousands of dollars and years of work when promised change). There is also this tendency by some of those groups to call a celibate gay/ssa person as ‘cured’ despite ongoing attractions because they do not engage in same sex acts (so intentionally muddy the definitions in my opinion). Final point with respect to that is God never promises to remove our crosses this side of Heaven (think of Paul’s thorn in his side). What we are promised is that we will never be tempted beyond what we can bear and God will always provide us an out route.
 
I wouldn’t marry a converted gay person, I wouldn’t want to risk a loveless marriage with someone who was never even attracted to me.

Back to the original topic the problem is us Catholics aren’t offering anything different to the world’s message of marriage or loneliness.
 
I wouldn’t marry a converted gay person, I wouldn’t want to risk a loveless marriage with someone who was never even attracted to me.

Back to the original topic the problem is us Catholics aren’t offering anything different to the world’s message of marriage or loneliness.
Ironically, I think your own attitude equating lack of attraction in a marriage to lack of love, shows that you yourself, have bought into that false dichotomy.

Andre Gide, a French author, was gay. He actually got married, but he never consummated the marriage. That doesn’t mean his whole marriage was loveless, Madame Gide actually had a very strong influence over her husband and there are many quotes from him expressing love for her.

And even without discussing “mixed orientation” marriages, it’s also the case that most marriages in the past were arranged or semi-arranged, in some cultures the spouses don’t even meet before the wedding. So physical attraction isn’t a consideration at all. Yet, not all such marriages wind up as loveless miserable ones.
 
Solution: stop being gay.

“But that’s impossible!”

No it isn’t. It’s just difficult.
 
It’s messages like these that poison the well of Catholic evangelization. You should really delete it.
It also lacks clarity as I’m not even sure how they define gay. Because I use the definition of it just meaning same sex attracted. So basically they are saying just stop having a particular set of temptations.

The complete lack of grace and compassion are not helpful. AND if they cannot show any semblance of that along with their seeming ignorance, they shouldn’t talk on this subject and let us who have better understanding while adhering to church teaching handle this subject
 
Solution: stop being gay.
It’s messages like these that poison the well of Catholic evangelization.
Only if people link us with that position. Fortunately, I have found that many non-Catholics are coming to realize that a comment made by this or that Catholic (out of the one billion in the world) doesn’t make it the Catholic position.
 
I wouldn’t marry a converted gay person, I wouldn’t want to risk a loveless marriage with someone who was never even attracted to me.
Ironically, I think your own attitude equating lack of attraction in a marriage to lack of love, shows that you yourself, have bought into that false dichotomy.
I think I can understand where ConfusedLucy was coming from with the “loveless marriage” comment. But you’re right certainly. There are many people whom I love without any attraction.
 
It’s messages like these that poison the well of Catholic evangelization. You should really delete it.
Being soft doesn’t help anyone. Anyway I’m not sure I’m going to take evangelization advice from someone who has a “Rational Rat Pack” signature.
 
It also lacks clarity as I’m not even sure how they define gay. Because I use the definition of it just meaning same sex attracted. So basically they are saying just stop having a particular set of temptations.

The complete lack of grace and compassion are not helpful. AND if they cannot show any semblance of that along with their seeming ignorance, they shouldn’t talk on this subject and let us who have better understanding while adhering to church teaching handle this subject
Gay is defined as suffering from the hell-born affliction of being cursed with that sexual disorder. Sodomite is someone who gives into this most heinous and disgusting sin. Sodomites need to go to confession and repent their horrible, hateful sin. Gays have not necessarily sinned, so confession may not be necessary. They should reject all disordered thoughts immediately and pray constantly for healing. If they don’t do either then I believe they are guilty of sin, possibly mortal sin depending on how greatly they consented to these intrinsically disordered thoughts. If they don’t believe God can heal them, they are guilty of the mortal sin of despair.
 
I will say this. Gays can be sure that if they conquer this horrible affliction, they will receive a due reward. Such a terrible cross to bear, surely it is God’s way of guiding them to greatness. I pray they accept the opportunity.
 
If pray the gay away was so effective, then the majority of people that went through conversion therapy would be straight. But that is not the case. More often it leaves those that sought to get rid of their orientation having to come to grips with its permanence.

The call to chastity is one for all of us to follow. But your words strike me not as Catholic in origin, but as the words of a Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide Evangelical. Not the first time I’ve noticed this tendency. If I have misunderstood what you’re saying, I apologize. But what you’re saying doesn’t seem to fit with what the Church has said.
 
If pray the gay away was so effective
Nothing is impossible with God.
But your words strike me not as Catholic in origin, but as the words of a Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide Evangelical. Not the first time I’ve noticed this tendency. If I have misunderstood what you’re saying, I apologize. But what you’re saying doesn’t seem to fit with what the Church has said.
Mainstream “Catholicism”? No. My words are, thankfully, not in line with that. Traditional Catholic understanding? Absolutely.

Sexual temptation and lust are afflictions to which all men and women must to some degree bear and resist. Homosexual “lusts” are a particularly dangerous affliction because they are intrinsically disordered (wrong in all cases) and are commonly accepted and/or endorsed by the “Christian” and secular world. Sodomy is a mortal sin and is one of the absolute worst ones. It demands retribution from God and for this sin He destroyed cities and slew many thousands. It is probably the most dangerous sin right now, because of how prevalent it is and because weak-willed and cowardly voices within our own communities (who should all have been cast out a long time ago) have been silent on it or even (and this should carry a death sentence) publicly endorsed it.

I would rather learn my child had been burnt alive in a fire than learn they had engaged in this sin.
 
Nothing is impossible with God.

Mainstream “Catholicism”? No. My words are, thankfully, not in line with that. Traditional Catholic understanding? Absolutely.

Sexual temptation and lust are afflictions to which all men and women must to some degree bear and resist. Homosexual “lusts” are a particularly dangerous affliction because they are intrinsically disordered (wrong in all cases) and are commonly accepted and/or endorsed by the “Christian” and secular world. Sodomy is a mortal sin and is one of the absolute worst ones. It demands retribution from God and for this sin He destroyed cities and slew many thousands. It is probably the most dangerous sin right now, because of how prevalent it is and because weak-willed and cowardly voices within our own communities (who should all have been cast out a long time ago) have been silent on it or even (and this should carry a death sentence) publicly endorsed it.

I would rather learn my child had been burnt alive in a fire than learn they had engaged in this sin.
You know, I was gonna respond to this and other posts of yours here. Instead I’m gonna take the advice of several people on here including a priest to use the ignore function. Farewell. And I hope you never have children.
 
Ironically, I think your own attitude equating lack of attraction in a marriage to lack of love, shows that you yourself, have bought into that false dichotomy.

Andre Gide, a French author, was gay. He actually got married, but he never consummated the marriage. That doesn’t mean his whole marriage was loveless, Madame Gide actually had a very strong influence over her husband and there are many quotes from him expressing love for her.

And even without discussing “mixed orientation” marriages, it’s also the case that most marriages in the past were arranged or semi-arranged, in some cultures the spouses don’t even meet before the wedding. So physical attraction isn’t a consideration at all. Yet, not all such marriages wind up as loveless miserable ones.
It’s more the thought of living a lie that bothers me I think. If you knew to never expect eros then maybe you would feel differently. It’s hard to know how I would feel about arranged marriage as it’s not really part of my culture.

I think rather than marry someone in those circumstances I would prefer to support them as a friend, I did once know someone with a “platonic boyfriend”, they were both discerning celibate vocations and supporting each other.
 
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