I have an issue that is seriously effecting my relationship with my husband. During a disagreement I told my husband that we are equals. He told me he was head of the house and advised me to check the Bible and see what that means. This is upsetting me greatly.
Are men and women in a relationship considered equals until they get married and then the husband is considered the superior person? Or are men and woman considered not equal at any point and once married it is just clarified in the Bible? My understanding is that men and women are different but are still considered equals.
The Church regards men and women as equal in dignity, and regards husbands and wives as mutually submissive to each other. If the husband is head of anything, it is as head servant to his wife, who he is supposed to love and serve as Christ loved and served his Church. Christ showed his love and service to his bride, the Church, by washing her feet and then dying for her.
All that said, I think your larger problem here is the abusive behavior you’ve reported that your husband engages in when the two of you argue. Telling you that he is “head of the house” and to go “check the Bible” to see how right he is constitutes verbal abuse. He needs to understand that there is never justification for attempting to lord over his wife in such a manner. I very much recommend that you seek out marital counseling, and that you go yourself if he refuses to accompany you. You can get a referral to a counselor through your local Catholic Charities.
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