Are most of your friends Catholic?

[lizaanne]

The vast majority of my friends are Catholic. Those who aren’t I don’t spend too much time with, and when I do it just feels akward to not say stuff like “oh yeah, Jesus has plan for that”, or “ok - three Hail Mary’s for you!”, or “you just added on an extra month in Purgatory with that one!” - just silly stuff like that.

My Catholic friends and I always speak in “Catholic Speak” - something I can’t do with other people. Either they wouldn’t get it or it just wouldn’t be appropriate.

I love all my friends, but my Catholic friends are who I prefer to spend most of my time with.

~Liza

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Yes, mostly Catholic. I’m not a bubbly extroverted person, so I don’t make lots friends. So I generally gravitate towards people with whom I have alot in common. While I can and do talk about all manners of things, it is hard for me to get through a real conversation (meaning not superficial) without my faith and my vocation coming to mind. Not that I always end up talking about that stuff, but I find that when I’m with non-Catholics (or even non-practicing or dissenting Catholics) I’m definitely cautious about what I say, and the conversations can never go deep enough for me to really become friends. I’ve noticed that outgoing friendly people seem to have room in their personalities for lots of friends, of all sorts. For me, it’s like I only am capable of a few real friends at a time, and I need those few to be people with whom I don’t have to guard my words too much - that’s a friendship killer for a shy person.

With my relationships with non Catholics, friends or family, I generally stick to the things we do have in common. I will occasionally talk about religion in an informational/intellectual sort of way, but have to make an effort to stay non-offensive. The more we have in common, the better relationship we can have, but let’s face it, the most important things in my life right now are my faith, and my vocation as wife and mother.

 

[os_justi]

The vast majority of my friends are not religious at all; my boyfriend is the first Catholic I ever met. I’m in RCIA right now, and am obviously making new friends who share my views. Religion has never been a problem with my friends – when the topic comes up at get-togethers, it is always a discussion rather than God-bashing. They are sensitive to my choice, and I am sensitive to theirs.

 

[gettingthere]

I only know one person who is Catholic. She’s been helping my husband and I a lot as she just went through RCIA last year. But she lives in the states, so I never see her. Other than the people in RCIA my husband and I don’t know anyone who is Catholic.

We also don’t have any local friends. We feel very blessed to have each other.

 

[johnnydigit]

it saddens me to hear how many people don’t really hang around with other Catholics, whether by choice or circumstance. community is so significant to the Christian life. it is hard to grow without the support. though hopefully that would make you that much closer to the priest and parish.

not being around Catholics to me is like not hanging around people who share the same interests as you. football, cars, knitting, whatever… in fact, the reality is probably that these people not only don’t share your interest, but protest it. the faith should be your #1, and like those hobbies, one would surround themselves with the faith, and with those who are on the same path and believe in the same thing.

too many of us don’t see it as a problem because the faith isn’t that important to them. heaven forbid if we are a die hard sports fan of a certain team and someone disliked them. this isn’t like politics where you don’t want to touch on certain issues because it may break up friendships, but this is TRUTH. this is your faith. it is God. this is eternal life.

i’m not telling you what to do with your friends, but i guess from Scripture it should tell you where you are in your faith. put God 2nd, and He’ll put you 2nd. 3rd, and He’ll put you 3rd. now if you put God first, God will put you first.
no, having Catholic friends doesn’t automatically mean you are a good Catholic, but it sure is a good sign that points to it. (holy gestures and signs doesn’t make one holy, but they point to holiness. a brown steak doesn’t necessarily mean it’s well done, but it does point to it.)

 

[gettingthere]

it saddens me to hear how many people don’t really hang around with other Catholics, whether by choice or circumstance. community is so significant to the Christian life. it is hard to grow without the support. though hopefully that would make you that much closer to the priest and parish.

not being around Catholics to me is like not hanging around people who share the same interests as you. football, cars, knitting, whatever… in fact, the reality is probably that these people not only don’t share your interest, but protest it. the faith should be your #1, and like those hobbies, one would surround themselves with the faith, and with those who are on the same path and believe in the same thing.

too many of us don’t see it as a problem because the faith isn’t that important to them. heaven forbid if we are a die hard sports fan of a certain team and someone disliked them. this isn’t like politics where you don’t want to touch on certain issues because it may break up friendships, but this is TRUTH. this is your faith. it is God. this is eternal life.

i’m not telling you what to do with your friends, but i guess from Scripture it should tell you where you are in your faith. put God 2nd, and He’ll put you 2nd. 3rd, and He’ll put you 3rd. now if you put God first, God will put you first.
no, having Catholic friends doesn’t automatically mean you are a good Catholic, but it sure is a good sign that points to it. (holy gestures and signs doesn’t make one holy, but they point to holiness. a brown steak doesn’t necessarily mean it’s well done, but it does point to it.)

That’s sort of unfair, especially if someone is a new Catholic. I don’t see anyone saying they don’t want Catholic friends.

My husband and I would LOVE to have some Catholic friends, especially since we feel kind of alone in our faith. Both of our families are protestants and strongly disagree with Catholic teaching (and most of our friends as well), so it’s really hard for us. But it’s REALLY hard to make friends, especially since we’ve only been attending this parish for a few months. We know a few people at Bible study, but they are all much much older than us, and there are only 4 other people in RCIA besides us and none of them really seem interested in becoming friends.

We’re completely at a loss as to how to make Catholic friends.

 

[ack]

I once read a book by C. S. Lewis called “The Four Loves”.

While defining friendship, he notes that friendships that were not motivated by a common interest will fade. He observes that most friendships arise due to a shared interest in theater, books, politics, chess, religion, etc. While friends need not limit their interactions to the hobby, the shared interest is what keeps the friendship going.

(The book’s wikipedia page has more: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves )

In light of this insight, I observe that one who spends a lot of time associating with Catholic organizations and ministries will naturally make more Catholic friends. As I spend more time devoting myself to various Catholic endeavors, I find myself with less time for other pursuits. Consequentially, the majority of my friends are Catholic.

I will also note that some parishes make it very difficult to get involved, making it very difficult to make Catholic friends.

 

[whatevergirl]

Are most of your friends Catholic or non-Catholic? If they’re not Catholic, how do you deal with it? Do you avoid talking about religion with them altogether? Thanks in advance!

Most of my friends are non Catholics…I have a few who are Catholics…but more are Protestant, or atheists, now that I think about it. Well, they claim to not believe in God. I also have a few Muslim friends, and one Buddhist. I would like to get to know more Catholics in our church, I’m hoping to discover a couples night out group or something…or start one.

 

[whatevergirl]

I once read a book by C. S. Lewis called “The Four Loves”.

While defining friendship, he notes that friendships that were not motivated by a common interest will fade. He observes that most friendships arise due to a shared interest in theater, books, politics, chess, religion, etc. While friends need not limit their interactions to the hobby, the shared interest is what keeps the friendship going.

(The book’s wikipedia page has more: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves )

In light of this insight, I observe that one who spends a lot of time associating with Catholic organizations and ministries will naturally make more Catholic friends. As I spend more time devoting myself to various Catholic endeavors, I find myself with less time for other pursuits. Consequentially, the majority of my friends are Catholic.

I will also note that some parishes make it very difficult to get involved, making it very difficult to make Catholic friends.

Thank you for mentioning this book–I thought I read all of CS Lewis’ writings…I have not heard of this one at all. Interesting.

 

[johnnydigit]

That’s sort of unfair, especially if someone is a new Catholic. I don’t see anyone saying they don’t want Catholic friends.

…

We’re completely at a loss as to how to make Catholic friends.

sorry, didn’t mean it to sound insulting. being new is perfectly understandable. you would be the one that is a product of circumstance rather than desire.

i really don’t know what to offer as advice. if they physically aren’t there, what do you do? i guess it’s one of the sacrifices of living away from crowded cities. i’m blessed to live in a bigger city where there’s a decent amount of youth, but of course a bigger city means bigger sins.

i don’t know how secluded your area is, but what comes to mind are Bible study groups, lay communities, 3rd orders, prayer groups, anything you can find that will get you connected… volunteering at homeless shelters, visiting hospitals or nursing homes… basically some good old people networking.

if still nothing, i guess you have chosen an environment where you gotta grow mostly on your own… kinda like a hermit… but you gotta be pretty spiritually advanced to battle the devil out on your own with little to no support. in any case, God will provide if you trust in Him. have peace!

 

[johnnydigit]

I will also note that some parishes make it very difficult to get involved, making it very difficult to make Catholic friends.

very true indeed. there’s always a Cross wherever you go. it’s just not easy being Catholic, but we do know that the more you suffer, the closer you get to Christ, hence the closer you get to heaven. well whatever our predicament, His footprints are always there, carrying us along, even if we don’t notice.
/endquotemachine

 

[gettingthere]

sorry, didn’t mean it to sound insulting. being new is perfectly understandable. you would be the one that is a product of circumstance rather than desire.

i really don’t know what to offer as advice. if they physically aren’t there, what do you do? i guess it’s one of the sacrifices of living away from crowded cities. i’m blessed to live in a bigger city where there’s a decent amount of youth, but of course a bigger city means bigger sins.

i don’t know how secluded your area is, but what comes to mind are Bible study groups, lay communities, 3rd orders, prayer groups, anything you can find that will get you connected… volunteering at homeless shelters, visiting hospitals or nursing homes… basically some good old people networking.

if still nothing, i guess you have chosen an environment where you gotta grow mostly on your own… kinda like a hermit… but you gotta be pretty spiritually advanced to battle the devil out on your own with little to no support. in any case, God will provide if you trust in Him. have peace!

We live in a really big city, but we just moved here from a small one (like 2 months ago). We are trying to participate in various church activities, but we’re pretty much the youngest people to participate in anything. The people at the Bible study are all at least twice our age. That’s really not a problem for us, but I don’t think many of them are interested in having us as friends! We’re 24 and 27, and are hoping we make some friends soon. It’s easier now that we have RCIA, but at the same time, we haven’t really connected with anyone. We’ll be checking out other things (I’m thinking about joining the CWL and my husband is thinking about Knights of Columbus, but neither of us have any idea what those two groups are, or what you have to do to join).

 

[whatevergirl]

it saddens me to hear how many people don’t really hang around with other Catholics, whether by choice or circumstance. community is so significant to the Christian life. it is hard to grow without the support. though hopefully that would make you that much closer to the priest and parish.

not being around Catholics to me is like not hanging around people who share the same interests as you. football, cars, knitting, whatever… in fact, the reality is probably that these people not only don’t share your interest, but protest it. the faith should be your #1, and like those hobbies, one would surround themselves with the faith, and with those who are on the same path and believe in the same thing.

too many of us don’t see it as a problem because the faith isn’t that important to them. heaven forbid if we are a die hard sports fan of a certain team and someone disliked them. this isn’t like politics where you don’t want to touch on certain issues because it may break up friendships, but this is TRUTH. this is your faith. it is God. this is eternal life.

i’m not telling you what to do with your friends, but i guess from Scripture it should tell you where you are in your faith. put God 2nd, and He’ll put you 2nd. 3rd, and He’ll put you 3rd. now if you put God first, God will put you first.
no, having Catholic friends doesn’t automatically mean you are a good Catholic, but it sure is a good sign that points to it. (holy gestures and signs doesn’t make one holy, but they point to holiness. a brown steak doesn’t necessarily mean it’s well done, but it does point to it.)

Just because the majority of my friends are non Catholics, does not mean I put God second. I typically become friends with people first, but if I find out they are non Catholic, should I drop them? That is not a Christian attitude whatsoever.

I hope you didn’t mean that statement as poorly as it came across.

 

[Just_wondering]

Not many of my friends are Catholic - but then, neither am I, yet. Most of the time, when religion comes up, I introduce myself as “considering Catholicism.” I have a handful of Catholic friends - my boyfriend and several of his friends, a coworker, a few people that I used to be closer to but haven’t seen much of since moving. I have a new-agey-considering-buddhism friend, and a few Hindu friends, and several agnostic friends. Right now I’m keeping my faith journey pretty close to the heart, and so it doesn’t come up in conversation much.

I did discover that the receptionist at work is Catholic. We walked home together the other day, and we were discussing my mother’s strong opinion that I should live with my boyfriend before marriage. She just glowed when I told her that I wouldn’t ask my boyfriend to live in sin with me at my mother’s suggestion. Then when she found out he was Catholic, she was even more pleased - and a little jealous that I snagged me a Catholic man.

 

[Nanny_PK]

There’s a website – do a google search for Women of Grace. They have a Bible study that you can sign up to be a facilitator. You could start one at your parish – they also have conferences. If you live near enough one of them, you could spearhead getting a group of ladies together to go. That would be a great way to meet ladies in your parish and in turn make couples/family friends.

Just an idea.

 

[whatevergirl]

There’s a website – do a google search for Women of Grace. They have a Bible study that you can sign up to be a facilitator. You could start one at your parish – they also have conferences. If you live near enough one of them, you could spearhead getting a group of ladies together to go. That would be a great way to meet ladies in your parish and in turn make couples/family friends.

Just an idea.

those are great. I went to one when we first moved here to Florida last year, and met some great ladies. We switched parishes, and I just fell out of going–but that is an excellent idea for those wishing to make new Catholic friends.

 

[johnnydigit]

We live in a really big city, but we just moved here from a small one (like 2 months ago). We are trying to participate in various church activities, but we’re pretty much the youngest people to participate in anything. The people at the Bible study are all at least twice our age. That’s really not a problem for us, but I don’t think many of them are interested in having us as friends! We’re 24 and 27, and are hoping we make some friends soon. It’s easier now that we have RCIA, but at the same time, we haven’t really connected with anyone. We’ll be checking out other things (I’m thinking about joining the CWL and my husband is thinking about Knights of Columbus, but neither of us have any idea what those two groups are, or what you have to do to join).

keep active and connecting. there are also conferences you can attend, and check the diocese website for a calendar. try giving them a call, too. like previously mentioned, many parishes aren’t the most up to date even with their own groups and communities, so there may be some great ones that may not even be listed and that you may have to find yourself, or like me, stumble on the members by “chance”. even try other parishes. there are hidden gems all over the place.

 

[jwashu]

Are most of your friends Catholic or non-Catholic? If they’re not Catholic, how do you deal with it? Do you avoid talking about religion with them altogether? Thanks in advance!

As a convert I would say most of my friends are not Catholic. Especially my more religious friends.

However these friends were with me on my Journey Home. While I doubt they will ever become Catholic they understand much more than they probably ever wanted to at first. They may not agree with everything but they not longer doubt that only a few Catholic’s are “saved” and the rest are trying to “work their way to Heaven.”

In fact most have actually incorporated some Catholic Theology into the Protestantism. In fact I’ve been asked to come to a few Bible studies to explain the Catholic viewpoint and why we believe it as some of their group member have actually questioned why they, as protestants, don’t believe a certain way based upon the Bible, cool uh?!?

I’m making more Catholic friends all the time at Church but it takes a while. Lets face it, half the people want to just get in and out at Mass w/o lingering to meet new people.

I’m lucky as a former Protestant who grew up in the Anti-Catholic Baptist hayday of the 70s I know their arguments and my apologetics (not ready for prime time prime time yet though).

If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t want to bring up the topic until I did. So for those who don’t, study up on your apologetics and educated your Protestant brethren!

Joe

PS - My 2 favorite topics in the world to discuss are Politics and Religion so obviously I like to argue, so take that into account I guess. heh.

 

[magic_stick]

Are most of your friends Catholic or non-Catholic?

It’s a mix.

If they’re not Catholic, how do you deal with it?

There is nothing to deal with. It doesn’t matter to me the religion someone is just like it doesn’t matter what skin color they have or what color eyes they have. If it mattered, I wouldn’t have many friends lol

They respect my faith as I respect theirs. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t want them as a friend.

Do you avoid talking about religion with them altogether? Thanks in advance!

No, we talk about many different things. Everyone has their own beliefs

 

[johnnydigit]

many may not be ready to hear this yet, but the question of who you would want to marry will eventually come in to play as a young adult Catholic. choosing your friends does play an important matter because more than likely, you will end up marrying one of them…

when i was new to the faith, i figured it didn’t matter if i were to marry a non-Catholic. this seems to be very common. i figured my faith was just a personal choice and we should be open to others. as i grew in faith and my values solidified, i realized that it isn’t just a personal preference, but a valued lifestyle. it is just easier to look for a Catholic and the reasons are very numerous. the Church certainly doesn’t forbid it, but wisdom tells us it isn’t the most prudent and many difficulties lie ahead…

/puts on flamesuit.