Are my bestfriends near occasion of sin?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melkite_Sword
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Melkite_Sword

Guest
long story short, my bestfriends are attractive, sometimes i fall into lust when im around them. are they near occasion of sin?
 
I’d say you are in near occasion of sin if you lust when your around them.
 
Cannot say for sure.
If your friends are dressing or acting inappropriately then yes they may be near occasion of sin…If not - well then your sin is not their fault…get what I mean?

The only real difference in the above is how you might need to approach the problem.
If they are a “bad influence” by how they act, the you might need to avoid them.
If the problem is inside of you…not in anything they have done - then avoiding them will not resolve the matter, though it might help some.
Only working on your own internal discipline and seeking a deeper holiness in yourself will help.

Talk with your confessor about this.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Cannot say for sure.
If your friends are dressing or acting inappropriately then yes they may be near occasion of sin…If not - well then your sin is not their fault…get what I mean?

The only real difference in the above is how you might need to approach the problem.
If they are a “bad influence” by how they act, the you might need to avoid them.
If the problem is inside of you…not in anything they have done - then avoiding them will not resolve the matter, though it might help some.
Only working on your own internal discipline and seeking a deeper holiness in yourself will help.

Talk with your confessor about this.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
Not so much as how they act. what about this scenario. If a guy and a girl are in a relationship and the guy is physically attracted to her, he is more likely to lust in that situation because he almost always does (lets just say). does that mean he should avoid her? :confused: even though those aren’t his intentions. Now we could say that the problem is inside the guy, not in anything she has done, but isn’t the occasion still there? :confused: … What if the person goes into that scenario where he knows he can fight off temptation, but is just more likely to be tempted… say he gets aroused with his girlfriend but doesn’t intend the arousal and fights it off, would that be near occasion?
 
Melkite_Sword said:
Not so much as how they act. what about this scenario. If a guy and a girl are in a relationship and the guy is physically attracted to her, he is more likely to lust in that situation because he almost always does (lets just say). does that mean he should avoid her? :confused: even though those aren’t his intentions. Now we could say that the problem is inside the guy, not in anything she has done, but isn’t the occasion still there? :confused: … What if the person goes into that scenario where he knows he can fight off temptation, but is just more likely to be tempted… say he gets aroused with his girlfriend but doesn’t intend the arousal and fights it off, would that be near occasion?
Click to expand...
This is not something that can be answered in a few short paragraphs. My suggestion would be to get a book on the theology of the body, Catholic dating etc…This way you would be able to get much fuller and better answers to these questions.

However - to just briefly address your question above…If a person is dating, that is looking for a life mate, then certainly some arousal could be seen as a positive indicator and so - not necessarily sinful. Of course there is a difference between emotional/physical arousal and consciously encouraging lustful thoughts.
So the first thing I would suggest is that you need to recognize the difference between a spontaneous arousal (an unconscious “reactive” response) and purposely encouraged “lustful” thoughts and fantasies.

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
This is not something that can be answered in a few short paragraphs. My suggestion would be to get a book on the theology of the body, Catholic dating etc…This way you would be able to get much fuller and better answers to these questions.

However - to just briefly address your question above…If a person is dating, that is looking for a life mate, then certainly some arousal could be seen as a positive indicator and so - not necessarily sinful. Of course there is a difference between emotional/physical arousal and consciously encouraging lustful thoughts.
So the first thing I would suggest is that you need to recognize the difference between a spontaneous arousal (an unconscious “reactive” response) and purposely encouraged “lustful” thoughts and fantasies.

Peace
James
Click to expand...
well basically i suppose I’m trying to get to this point. Is being in a situation where you know that you will get sexually aroused, although not intentionally and so not will or enjoy it, considered a near occasion of sin… even if in most other times you were in that situation you didn’t consent to the arousal and you will not consent in the future? pretty much is arousal near occasion of sin?
 
Melkite_Sword said:
well basically i suppose I’m trying to get to this point. Is being in a situation where you know that you will get sexually aroused, although not intentionally and so not will or enjoy it, considered a near occasion of sin… even if in most other times you were in that situation you didn’t consent to the arousal and you will not consent in the future? pretty much is arousal near occasion of sin?
Click to expand...
In the strictest sense, I must say no it is not a “near occasion” but I say this only with a huge caveat…I do not want this to be taken as a blanket OK. There are simply too many unknown factors involved…
Just for one…the age, the maturity of the person is a factor…such situations are likely far less “near occasions” for a middle age person than for a mid-teen.

Again - I strongly urge you to get a book on this subject. Your priest or a teacher or DRE may be able to recommend one. for you.

Peace
James
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top