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Axsenex
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You’re an adult & that’s all.
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lilypadrees
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Do not sleep with him without benefit of marriage. You can get a single cot at Walmart and set it up to sleep in, get a sleeping bag and sleep in that or sleep on the couch.I’m sleeping with him since he has a very small house with all the rooms being used up. His household is similar to mine with his mom being very spiritual and we both understand we need to respect her rules and boundaries. She’s aware i will be staying in his room.
If your boyfriend is the gentleman you portray him to be, he would offer you his bed and sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, on a single cot or on the sofa himself.
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
Will you have separate bedrooms?
And his mom will chaperone?
Doesn’t sound like a problem.
And his mom will chaperone?
Doesn’t sound like a problem.
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0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
Why can’t you sleep on the living room couch?
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Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
The world is not black and white. As it currently stands you’re all “wrong”.I’m asking if I’m in the wrong for my decision or I if my parents are for not being understanding and supportive…
It is totally and wildly inappropriate for you to sleep in your boyfriend’s bed, period. That is an obvious wrong that is clearly immoral.
If this is what your parents are objecting to, they are correct in their assessment.
It is not wrong for you to move into your boyfriend’s mother’s house, store your things in his room but sleep elsewhere. There is nothing immoral about it given the circumstances.
Your parents seem to have given a carte blanche disapproval of the whole situation. This is incorrect. However being incorrect doesn’t give you the right to claim everything you do in opposition is moral.
Parents are not required to be supportive in everything. That’s not a thing. Even if you were moving to your own bedroom in your boyfriend’s mother’s house, it’s still 100% morally acceptable for them not to approve.
Their lack of approval alone doesn’t make something immoral. Lets make this a bit more simplistic. I don’t approve of my children eating sugary treats before bed, but that dosn’t make eating sugary treats before bed immoral. I am still well within my right as a parent to disapprove. If my children are visiting grandma’s house and she gives them a treat before bedtime I often let it go because it’s a special thing…but that doesn’t change my disapproval of the action. I will tell them, “Mom does want you eating sugar before bed, however, I am not forbidding it.” My kids know this and make the choice to go forward with eating the treat or not. My parents used this. My friend’s with children do this. It allows the child to understand that parents can disapprove but it’s not the end of the world. I’m thinking your parents probably always played hardball, thus your skewed view of what was morally right and wrong.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
Yeah, sorry but that is not going to work.
Sleep on the couch, sleep on a futon in the corner of the den, but, cuddling up in bed with your boyfriend will lead to one thing.
Sleep on the couch, sleep on a futon in the corner of the den, but, cuddling up in bed with your boyfriend will lead to one thing.
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Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
You don’t know that. I would 100% allow that to prevent my adult child from a near occasion of sin. More likely, however, I’d tell my son to man up and chuck him out of the room. I guess I see things how my parents did. From the time my oldest brother started high school to after my youngest brother graduated college we always had a couch surfer…atleast once a week, if not more. In college, my cousin’s house had to be gutted because of a dangerous electrical issue and my grandparents had no more room so he was on the couch for 4-6 months…I can’t exactly remember.The boyfriend’s mother is unlikely to tolerate someone kipping on the couch. I wouldn’t. The boyfriend can sleep on his floor, and the OP in his bed. Or where ever, they are adults.
And when my brother’s fiancee had to leave her house (for way less dire reasons than the OP, bug tenting) I gave her my room and I slept on the couch. Even though my brother had a bigger room she didn’t get a free pass on sleeping with him.
It’s really uncharitable, and disrespectfull of a couple of fiancés that don’t sleep together.
When we slept on his grandmother’s house, we had to share a bed, because the grandmother don’t offer soemthing other, and we don’t want to ask for. (she probably don’t think that we may do otherwise tha the world’s requires us).
Others options were possible : separate beds, and even separate rooms. When we talk one night the innitiative to separate beds, we have had so many questions, that we don’t do it again.
Clearly, she don’t want to use two beds, and two pairs of sheats, (even if we managed the bed/shits ourselves) and don’t see why she would do it.
When we slept on his grandmother’s house, we had to share a bed, because the grandmother don’t offer soemthing other, and we don’t want to ask for. (she probably don’t think that we may do otherwise tha the world’s requires us).
Others options were possible : separate beds, and even separate rooms. When we talk one night the innitiative to separate beds, we have had so many questions, that we don’t do it again.
Clearly, she don’t want to use two beds, and two pairs of sheats, (even if we managed the bed/shits ourselves) and don’t see why she would do it.
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Dr_Meinheimer
Guest
Unless this family lives in a studio apartment, it like has two rooms with separate floorspace. No one ever “has” to sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
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Allegra
Guest
You’ve never had someone stay over and sleep on the couch? That’s pretty common in my life. I had a friend who was thrown out of her home and slept on my couch for three months while she recovered financially. That’s why we have sleeper sofas!
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Allegra
Guest
She just folded up the sheet and blanket and put them in a basket in the pantry. It was only a “bed” when she was sleeping in it. This was in a one-bedroom apartment…
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Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
But how you arrange your house isn’t the question here.We are all different. I don’t want anyone sleepng in my small and busy living room. In this scenario she would have to sleep upstairs on the floor.
Had the OP given us the full truth, the answer would have been different.
“Are my parents correct in not supporting my decision to sleep in my boyfriends bed”
The answer, quite frankly, is yes. Her parents are correct for being upset that she wants to sleep in the bed of a man who has fiddled around for 6 years without making a commitment.
However, if it’s simply her living at her boyfriend’s parents house it really doesn’t matter if they disapprove because that’s not immoral.
Also, yeah, UK houses are smaller. The average property in the UK is 90 meters squared to the US 245. However average occupancy of a UK home is just over one, whereas the average US occupancy falls around 3.
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