Are people getting less resilient?

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That gives me hope for this upcoming generation, actually.

I also get the sense you’re a go-getter 🙂

I don’t really hate the internet (obviously), but sometimes I wonder if it’s used by some people as a pacifier.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
That gives me hope for this upcoming generation, actually.

I also get the sense you’re a go-getter 🙂

I don’t really hate the internet (obviously), but sometimes I wonder if it’s used by some people as a pacifier.
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I think many people—my dad included–who became adults and functioned without the internet don’t see how many of those ignored and disenfranchised by society are enabled because of the internet.

I do think that it’s misused but everything can be misused. One can eat too much and get fat. One can read too much and be lazy.

I think many of those who struggle with internet use among peers and teens are extroverts. This is very true for my dad and brother. However, if you look at how things were historically run and administered–even “parties” you’d see that it favored the introvert. The book Quiet! by Susan Cain explores how America was founded by introverts and how the extroverts were seen as crass and overbearing. The introverts would-and could- do things and be fine. Yet today reading, or writing notes to oneself, or whatever would be seen as “antisocial”. If someone is “playing” on their phone and not 100% engaged, it’s deemed “anti-social”…yet it’s only been in the past few decades that we’ve required people to be 100% “on” like we do today.
 
Agree.

These young adults have not had one bit of job experience (because summer/after school jobs conflict with resume building), their parents have intervened in everything from play dates to helping fancy prom proposals to calling the teacher to dispute grades. Like a hothouse flower, when they leave school they simply wilt.

Little things that helped kids grow up and gain independence in a normal progression is unheard of these days.

That is why my son has employees who have their mom call the store to say “little Johnny is too sick to come to work today”, have mommy make their dental appointments, etc.
 
One thing I’ll note is that extended childhood can actually be really stressful. A lot of people don’t think about the flip side. It chafes to be under a child’s rules when you’re ready to be on your own, because you’re being told you need to spend a bunch of extra time in school, or work your way up to making a living wage, or something. I think when a lot of adults are out of the house for a while, they look at it as, how nice it is to be able to have someone providing for you.

The trouble is you can get this weird combination of expecting maturity and immaturity. So you get adults who are expected to be working most of their time, either at education or at a job, but they’re still also expected to follow rules and obey like children. That doesn’t actually help stress levels. Feeling infantilized is not actually a pleasant feeling for someone who is emotionally ready to take care of themselves.
 
Two things I want to add:
  1. In the past thirty years, we’ve become a “culture of therapy” - “perpetual therapy”, in fact. I saw a recent example of this here on CAF where a teenager dealing with SSA mentioned a hurtful thing his brother said, and he mentioned about telling it to his therapist. Whatever happened to fixing the problem, even if it meant getting into an ugly, but necessary, confrontation?
I remember in my cousin’s eulogy for my aunt, and wish it could have been taped. He recalled how she was raised in the depression, lost two siblings, saw her brothers go off to serve in the military in WW2. People back then just “sucked it up” and kept on going.
  1. How much of this can be attributed to higher estrogen levels in our water supplies due to the increase in artificial birth control?
 
Norseman82 said:
Two things I want to add:
  1. In the past thirty years, we’ve become a “culture of therapy” - “perpetual therapy”, in fact. I saw a recent example of this here on CAF where a teenager dealing with SSA mentioned a hurtful thing his brother said, and he mentioned about telling it to his therapist. Whatever happened to fixing the problem, even if it meant getting into an ugly, but necessary, confrontation?
I remember in my cousin’s eulogy for my aunt, and wish it could have been taped. He recalled how she was raised in the depression, lost two siblings, saw her brothers go off to serve in the military in WW2. People back then just “sucked it up” and kept on going.
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In that particular thread, the parents were an issue. Again, we have a failure to parent that is contributing to much of this.

We also know from medical science that ‘sucking it up’ is completely unhealthy and does damage to internal organs. Stress hormones can damage every internal organ, especially the heart.

That said, with a solid foundation one IS able to endure more. We know that much of the formation of the brain occurs in the first 3 years. Children in the foster care system have outcomes nearly all based on their first 3 years of life. Children who have early neglect (including parental absence and alienation) are astronomically more likely to have mental health issues.
Norseman82 said:
  1. How much of this can be attributed to higher estrogen levels in our water supplies due to the increase in artificial birth control?
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Given that these problems are both urban (where they have a “recycled” water supply) and rural (where water comes out of the earth, usually pure as the day it was created) I’d say not much.
 
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I think life is a lot harder these days. I think the younger generations suffer more as a result. Obviously in western society I don’t mean life is harder in terms of material comfort. In that regard life is easier than ever. What is harder is that we have no social support.

We live in a world of strangers. Many of us live in big cities. Even my smaller southern city is really a big city considered historically. We don’t have small, close social circles. We don’t have families. Americans in particular move away from their family. And so many families have been damaged by divorce and remarriage. Not only has the family been redefined but now even our sexual identify has become something that is chosen. We have been reduced to radical individuals.
AdamPeter said:
But I’ve had my share of problems (biological father who wasn’t/isn’t interested in my life at all)

and I don’t really have any emotional/mental health issues. I don’t think that can be all of it?
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If so you are lucky. I am assuming you are younger. Unfortunately a lot issues can come up later as in your thirties or forties. Or some life event can trigger something that brings up latent issues.
 
The reason we don’t have this is because we have an intergenerational failure to parent. My toddler knows the basics of cooking and has a vague idea how the laundry works. I’m not going to let her cook by herself anytime soon but parents don’t seem to feel the need to teach their children anymore.

I worked at a college where we had to add an entire segment on washing laundry to orientation, as well as teach students how to do more than reheat a frozen dinner in a microwave. Many couldn’t even master those ez-mac cups.
 
Didn’t that used to be called “shop” and “home economics” classes in high school?
 
AdamPeter said:
for YouTube. Lol
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Don’t laugh. I knew someone who said he had to watch a YouTube video in order to learn how to write a check.

However, I did find an interesting YouTube video once on how to make a Faraday cage.
 
I don’t really know how to write a cheque. It’s probably simple enough. But I never have had to and I don’t think I ever will.
I’m serious though. YouTube is great for instructional videos. I do loads of diy and car stuff by watching YouTube videos.
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
too many missing fathers. there is more of course, but start there.
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This is a very big part of it I think. I can tell from my own experience that this is important. I mean, I was lucky to have an awesome step-father, whom I regard as more my father than by biological one.

But there are lots of kids out there who live in some pretty screwed-up family situations.

As a teacher I often see that the kids who are academically bad and have issues like ADHD (nonsense IMO) will often be from families where the father is not on the scene. And often the mother will be in and out of the school to make excuses for the child’s behaviour.

Who is gonna show these kids how to be a man if not their dad: TV and Pop culture is who. And all that tells them is how to be a grown-up child.

I think even my situation could have turned out very different if I hadn’t got two great male role models in my grandfather (God rest him) and my step-dad.
 
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