Are religious people more miserable than non-believers?

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Midwest88

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Two questions.

(1)How would you respond to this?
I have mostly found that people who believed in a God were too black and white in their thinking, way too preoccupied with “fixing” things, incapable of accepting things the way they are and generally more miserable with themselves and with people around them.
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I guess it depends on what country you’re in, what region and what religion. I have little experience with the South where Baptists seem to be the norm, or how Catholics are in NE America or in the PNW. My experience has been primarily in the Midwest. The Catholics I know aren’t miserable, at least to me, and just go about their day. If they do complain it’s not something that I would label them miserable - if I didn’t know that they were Catholics, let alone know who they were, and met them in a supply shop I wouldn’t think anything of it.

(2) In your experience, do those believe in God seem to be more miserable than non-believers?
 
Midwest88 said:
Two questions.

(1)How would you respond to this?
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Confirmation bias. People tend to see and remember what agrees with their thinking, not what disagrees.
Midwest88 said:
(2) In your experience, do those believe in God seem to be more miserable than non-believers?
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In any way that would single out their religious belief as the cause of their misery? No.

I know quite a few people who think that my life has gotten a lot worse since my conversion, that I limit myself too much, am afraid of “fun,” etc. I think about it as having had the scales fall from my eyes. I am much more aware of my suffering now than I was pre-conversion, but I’m also much more comfortable with it. My suffering isn’t meaningless, and I don’t have to spend all of my day trying to figure out how to “just be happy already.” I have been able to experience authentic joy, which I never had before I accepted Christ. But that’s not something that’s easily discerned by others.
 
A vague belief in the transcendent isn’t a prescription to happiness. Committed, self-challenging religious people seem very content in my experience.

Part of this is confirmation bias. I was, by my newfound standards, very lewd, flighty, and shallow in my past. Now I am more reserved. If you asked myself from 5 years ago what kind of person I am, he would probably say that I’m not enjoying life, which I can personally attest to not being true at all.
 
pensmama87 said:
I am much more aware of my suffering now than I was pre-conversion, but I’m also much more comfortable with it. My suffering isn’t meaningless, and I don’t have to spend all of my day trying to figure out how to “just be happy already.” I have been able to experience authentic joy, which I never had before I accepted Christ. But that’s not something that’s easily discerned by others.
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I agree with that. Without a belief in God, there is no point to the suffering in our lives. The more I know God, the happier I am, and I can say the same about almost all of the spiritual (rather than “religious”) people I know.
 
pensmama87 said:
I know quite a few people who think that my life has gotten a lot worse since my conversion, that I limit myself too much, am afraid of “fun,” etc. I think about it as having had the scales fall from my eyes. I am much more aware of my suffering now than I was pre-conversion, but I’m also much more comfortable with it. My suffering isn’t meaningless, and I don’t have to spend all of my day trying to figure out how to “just be happy already.” I have been able to experience authentic joy, which I never had before I accepted Christ. But that’s not something that’s easily discerned by others.
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👍👍

Society would have favored my life before my conversion. I cannot fathom how I was so blind before. I am significantly happier since my conversion and much more at peace. I may have added a struggle to my life in the form of fighting against temptations I previously embraced, but the fight has far from made me miserable.
 
i think it depends on what non-believers consider as “fun”

from my experience, if you’re not out getting wasted, or picking up guys/girls, then yu must not be having fun.

i also find nonbelievers very hostile and angry a lot of the time. i thik the main difference is that a lot of non believers (not trying ot generalize here) don’t really care about what theyr doing and how it affects themselves and others
 
Midwest88 said:
Two questions.

(1)How would you respond to this?
I have mostly found that people who believed in a God were too black and white in their thinking, way too preoccupied with “fixing” things, incapable of accepting things the way they are and generally more miserable with themselves and with people around them.
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Depends on the person. Those who are miserable will be miserable no matter what they believe in, typically because they won’t allow anyone else to believe in anything that they don’t also believe in and just can’t get over it — whether they are Christian or not.
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In my experience there really hasn’t been a difference. There are happy and miserable believers and nonbelievers alike, and it’s mixed enough that I can’t see that one is happier or more miserable overall.

One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that believers seem to be more likely to think the word is falling apart and nothing can be done to fix it. Whenever I hear comments along those lines they’re usually coming from a theist. However, few of them seem miserable about it.
 
I don’t think so. I know plenty miserable religious people and also miserable non-believers. I think miserableness has more to do with the individual’s personality.
 
I only feel miserable when I start acting like a non-believer (namely, missing Mass)…other than that, I find joy in places where my non-religious friends and family can’t (while anecdotal, this isn’t a biased opinion - we’ve had discussions about these things before), although I’m sure they might view my concern over showing up late because I was at Mass or not going out to the next bar because Mass is early as a form of misery to me, but I sure don’t feel that way about it…
 
I have mostly found that people who believed in a God were too black and white in their thinking, way too preoccupied with “fixing” things, incapable of accepting things the way they are and generally more miserable with themselves and with people around them.

I can see how an unbeliever would think like that. Yes, we can be too black and white because we want to live in the white! Fixing things usually means that we don’t want to see young adults drinking too much, dropping out of school, engaging in promiscuity, etc. We as human beings have a higher calling than that, one of walking with God and growing in holiness. Being in the blessing and blessing others. There is a fullness there that unbelievers can never know until they come into Christ. Their interpretation of ‘miserable with themselves and others’ is just wrong. There’s hardly a more ‘miserable with themselves and with the people around them’ as an alcoholic. Having grown up with an alcoholic parent who didn’t see the ‘use’ of going to church, I am very grateful to God for the life of grace and mercy He offers me. It’s night and day.
 
I think being miserable has little to do with being religious or non-religious. It is a state of mind, and lets face some people spend their time; it would seem; just working on being miserable.

Now some folks might think those who are “religious” could be miserable because they have to live by the dictates of their faith, or that the non-religious are miserable because they don’t have God in their lives. There could be truth in either case. But I have generally found that the most miserable folks of all are those that care mostly about themselves and no one else.
 
Psychological arguments are usually genetic fallacies. Although in this case I think it’s just a non-sequitur. Even if whatever OP’s friend said were the case, what would it have to do with the truth or falsity of Catholicism? Nothing.
 
Midwest88 said:
Two questions.

(1)How would you respond to this?

I guess it depends on what country you’re in, what region and what religion. I have little experience with the South where Baptists seem to be the norm, or how Catholics are in NE America or in the PNW. My experience has been primarily in the Midwest. The Catholics I know aren’t miserable, at least to me, and just go about their day. If they do complain it’s not something that I would label them miserable - if I didn’t know that they were Catholics, let alone know who they were, and met them in a supply shop I wouldn’t think anything of it.

(2) In your experience, do those believe in God seem to be more miserable than non-believers?
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I think I’d say, “oh, that’s unfortunate for them. Poor things. I think you have the right sense, which is that if your religion doesn’t bring peace in you, something is amiss. Well, as you can see from them, there is no peace to be had by trying to fix other people. You just have to leave them be unless they look for your help concerning what might be wrong. Otherwise, you just frustrate yourself and annoy them, and you’ll be no better off than they are.”
 
I don’t agree with the friend’s apparent premise that religious people are more unhappy, however, clearly there are some people on the wrong path who are nonetheless peaceful and happy.

There are a few things to consider here.


  1. *]It’s often said Satan leaves people alone when they’re no threat to him. That troubles often begin the more faithful one becomes, because their prayers, their turning to God, are now a threat to Satan, and he’ll attack hard. If so, naturally they may struggle more in the face of these very real problems that keep coming at them.

    *]Some people are cheerful and happy because they’re living exactly as they please, everything in place, not letting anyone or anything interfere with what they want. They feel in control and have their lives ordered as they want them. They may seem, feel, and be peaceful. However, theologically speaking, they may also be running full speed toward a cliff.

    *]People are not always as happy and at peace as they appear. I have a very good friend in whom I’m seeing this right now. He’s something like a Shinto-ist. He was much as I describe in #2. He certainly was at peace and cheerful until some of his ideas and way of life got ruffled. Things are no longer in his control, and he’s struggling to maintain that peace. At times, honestly, he isn’t, but is lashing out and getting angry.
 
DaddyGirl said:
Is this really what you have found? I’m curious how many non-believers you know/have met.
I’ve found quite the opposite.
I was on assignment at a seminar where I met hundreds of a-theists…and they were some of the kindest, most thoughtful, sensitive, caring and compassionate people I’ve ever met.

.
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I have to say that I have experienced this as well. Some of the most generous and caring people I have known were either agnostic or atheists. Unfortunately, some of the most deviant, deceptive and unkind folks I have ever known were found right at Church. Mmmm! Wonder how that works?
 
Statistically, religious people are happier than nonreligious people. See wikipedia for a discussion of the link.
 
It depends on the people. There can be miserable people in every walk of life. However, I have found that the people I am friends with who have no religious affiliation at all, even though they may have been brought up with one, seem to be happier and less likely to gossip than the people in the parish.
 
DaddyGirl said:
Is this really what you have found? I’m curious how many non-believers you know/have met.
I’ve found quite the opposite.
I was on assignment at a seminar where I met hundreds of a-theists…and they were some of the kindest, most thoughtful, sensitive, caring and compassionate people I’ve ever met.

.
Click to expand...
Cricket2 said:
I have to say that I have experienced this as well. Some of the most generous and caring people I have known were either agnostic or atheists. Unfortunately, some of the most deviant, deceptive and unkind folks I have ever known were found right at Church. Mmmm! Wonder how that works?
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How come I’m not surprised with these two answers.
 
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