Are single dating Catholics allowed to go on overnight trips together?

[ToeInTheWater]

I know of a Catholic couple who do not go on overnight trips anywhere and apparently plan not to until their honeymoon. I haven’t asked them why but I assume this is to avoid sexual temptation, though I guess for all I know they could be having sex anyway and just avoiding causing a public scandal. I certainly don’t think it’s my business to ask.

But, I wondered if this is actually required for Catholics, since I have read posts from Catholics here who seem to find nothing wrong with it as long as no sex actually happens. Some don’t even find it inappropriate to even sleep in the same bed “chastely”. But what if the couple each stayed in separate rooms, or took other friends along, or took other steps to minimize temptation? I’m not sure that the act of going away and staying somewhere overnight is sinful by itself. Since I know there are couples who would find other actions (such as kissing) too tempting, while others wouldn’t be tempted at all. So I don’t think kissing before marriage is sinful by itself, but could be a “near occasion for sin” for certain couples.

It just seems that being too obsessed with avoiding temptation could lead to a couple spending hardly any time by themselves and I’m not sure that’s a good idea either. Though I know some who advocate “courtship” find it a great idea, most courtship fans seem to be fundamentalist evangelicals. So I wondered if Catholics have the same mindset.

 

[1ke]

I know of a Catholic couple who do not go on overnight trips anywhere and apparently plan not to until their honeymoon. I haven’t asked them why but I assume this is to avoid sexual temptation, though I guess for all I know they could be having sex anyway and just avoiding causing a public scandal. I certainly don’t think it’s my business to ask.

But, I wondered if this is actually required for Catholics, since I have read posts from Catholics here who seem to find nothing wrong with it as long as no sex actually happens. Some don’t even find it inappropriate to even sleep in the same bed “chastely”. But what if the couple each stayed in separate rooms, or took other friends along, or took other steps to minimize temptation? I’m not sure that the act of going away and staying somewhere overnight is sinful by itself. Since I know there are couples who would find other actions (such as kissing) too tempting, while others wouldn’t be tempted at all. So I don’t think kissing before marriage is sinful by itself, but could be a “near occasion for sin” for certain couples.

It just seems that being too obsessed with avoiding temptation could lead to a couple spending hardly any time by themselves and I’m not sure that’s a good idea either. Though I know some who advocate “courtship” find it a great idea, most courtship fans seem to be fundamentalist evangelicals. So I wondered if Catholics have the same mindset.

I know you are exploring the Catholic faith. What you will find is that, contrary to popular belief, the Church really doesn’t have a “rule” or teaching on every single possible situation.

The Church doesn’t have a teaching regarding whether or not dating couples can or should take overnight trips together.

What the Church does have are teaching on the eternal truths of the moral law. The Church has principles which guide us to form our conscience and apply these moral truths to our concrete situation.

So, the answer is that it depends. It depends on many of the factors that you listed such as the likelihood they would truly give scandal, whether or not they are placing themsevles in a near occasion of sin, the sleeping arrangements, etc.

A couple contemplating a trip-- for example to an out of town wedding-- should consider all these things and make appropriate travel arrangements and sleeping accomodations.

There is nothing inherently wrong with two people who are dating going some place together, even when overnight stays are necessary.

 

[stephe1987]

Why can’t you just spend the day together, or stay in separate rooms if you need to stay overnight (you want to spend the day somewhere far from home)? I don’t see anything wrong with that. Although it might be good to bring friends along to avoid temptation. You can still talk and get to know each other, but if there are other people there, you won’t be doing anything together.

 

[edwest2]

It depends.

First of all. Dating is not practiced very much. Today, the image most publicized is to have sex and ask questions afterward. I’m not saying the people you know think like that, only that this image is common.

Two single people who are dating should never go on a trip together unless they are sure there will be no sex involved, and I’m not talking about kissing.

What used to happen was two people got to know each other, dated and maybe, they decided on courtship. During that time, the parents met each person in the relationship. Then, if everybody was willing, engagement.

So it’s not so much about allowing as making certain both parties understand each other. There is no such thing as sharing a room or sharing a bed and being unmarried. That would cause scandal.

God bless,
Ed