Are there certain rules in a relationship about living with a Catholic man?

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Athina

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My boyfriend is Catholic. I know that he is highly likely to be a cultural Catholic. It is possible that he does not practice everything. He does not talk about what it means.

I have noticed that he responds strongly to people who kiss and hug with a little nude skin on television. He holds in front of my eyes and does not want me to look at it. Nor am I curious about it. I love him and have no need to look at anything else. But in my country it’s almost normal that men look open to porn straight in the eyes of their boyfriend. And that’s not okay.

I see a part separating from his mind and way of life to my country’s way of life. But I’m glad to see it. I have never liked part of the way partners can treat each other in my country.

Anyone who knows a bit about this has Catholic values to do?
 
Welcome.

Catholic morality is the same all over the world.

Pornography is always contrary to the dignity of people and to God’s laws. Sex is something that was created for married people, it is special and private.
 
Thanks. I like the morale of the relationship. I have previously experienced a lot of negative in relation to men in my country. My country is not Catholic. Here it is normal to watch porn, talk about triangles, and such things. I am therefore very pleased to have found one that is not like them. A man who only focuses on me. I’ve experienced everything so much better after I met the Catholic man.

I believe that sex belongs to the relationship. To me, sex is something very special. My Catholic girlfriend has nice values.
 
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Athina said:
A man who only focuses on me. I’ve experienced everything so much better after I met the Catholic man.
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I hope you mean this as you are the only woman he focuses on. A practicing Catholic man’s primary focus should be on God.

The morality of a devout practicing Catholic is set to a high standard. Sex belongs to marriage, not just a relationship.
 
I am confused. Are you married and living together or unmarried and living together
 
We are not married. We are in a relationship.
I think he is a cultural Catholic. He seems to practice some of the Catholic, but not all.

He seems to take the relationship seriously. He seems to be against porn. He seems to concentrate on me as a partner. He will not use any preventive means that prevents pregnancy. He believes in fate. I think it’s part of the Catholic. But he does not practice everything. For example, we have sex even if we are not married. Is this what we can call cultural Catholic?

I’m afraid to be used. In my country there are many that are being used. People have sex with each other very easily in my country. Many people in my country do not look at sex as something special. They called it just sex. I look at sex as something special and am therefore pleased to have found a man who says he is a Catholic and treats me as I want to be treated.
 
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Athina said:
I have noticed that he responds strongly to people who kiss and hug with a little nude skin on television. He holds in front of my eyes and does not want me to look at it. Nor am I curious about it. I love him and have no need to look at anything else
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So what is he doing while he is covering your eyes? Is he watching it?
 
Having sex with someone outside of marriage is a way of using that person for sexual gratification.
 
Athina said:
For example, we have sex even if we are not married. Is this what we can call cultural Catholic?

I’m afraid to be used. In my country there are many that are being used. People have sex with each other very easily in my country. Many people in my country do not look at sex as something special. They called it just sex. I look at sex as something special and am therefore pleased to have found a man who says he is a Catholic and treats me as I want to be treated.
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A Catholic who is willing to have sex outside the marital relationship but dislikes porn is just a person who wants to have sex and doesn’t like porn. I wouldn’t say his Catholicism has much to do with it.
 
So you mean that it is normal that Catholic use partners they do not want marriage with?

I am very afraid to be used for sex. I do not understand why he says he is a Catholic when he does not seem to practice the religion.

I do not know how it is in Catholic countries. Whether there are people who are catoholic and who have sex before they get married? do most Catholics practice all rules in their religion ? I have met all his family and his friends
 
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Athina,
Many people claim to be Catholic but do not practice their religion faithfully,
Sex before marriage is a sin, not just because it’s a rule, but because God knows that it hurts people. Mostly it’s the women who get hurt by it.
It’s pretty hypocritical of him to not allow you to watch sex on TV, but have sex with you when you’re not married.

What you should do is stop having sex, ask him when he wants to get married, and encourage him to practice his faith correctly. The Catholic faith is a beautiful one which encourages men to treat women with respect and decency, which means not using them for sex outside of marriage.
God bless you.
 
There are sinners everywhere.

The Catholic Church teaches us to be chaste in every station of life. God expects us to follow all of His laws. Sometimes we choose to reject those laws and sin against God. That does not mean that sin is somehow acceptable.
 
Yes, he has pointed out to me many times that he is Catholics. I have asked several times if we could have a conversation about what it means. But he just says that he is a Catholic and that it makes no sense to talk about what it means.

I’m afraid to be used. To me, sex is something very special. But I’ve practiced it outside of marriage, but I think it’s a serious relationship that lasts forever.

He has said he would like to marry me. But since I do not belong to the Catholic Church, he is thinking of marrying outside the church. So possible he says he is Catholic without practicing the rules. I do not know how it’s over the world. Are there many who say they are Catholics who are like him?
 
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Encourage him to practice his faith, have you gone to Mass with him?

Speak to the priest about learning more about the Catholic Faith.

Work toward a marriage in the Church.
 
Perhaps he just says he is Catholic, believe in something and practice only a little bit of it? I dont know…
 
I have never gone to church with him. He has not invited me to it. I asked if he went to church. Have never seen him go to church. He replied that he went once a week.

He does not want to talk about his religion at all. He rejects it completely. But at the same time saying that he is Catholic., So I do not understand anything. But I have tried to encourage him to take care of the faith. Have asked him if it’s best to have sex in marriage, but he says he does not see anything wrong with having sex before marriage …

He seems to follow some of the Catholic but not all.
 
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Athina said:
So you mean that it is normal that Catholic use partners they do not want marriage with?
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Premarital sex and cohabitation are both sins against the sixth commandment.

While many Catholics are ignorant, not practicing their faith, or only partially practice the faith and might engage in these activities, your boyfriend is instead being a hypocrite in presenting himself as a faithful Catholic, acting outraged and covering your eyes to objectionable material, and all the while having sex with you.

He should be better, and you can do better.
 
Yes, he seems to be a cultural Catholic.

For us, here who are catholic attached to the faith, it does not means anything, but the fact stay the same in the secular world. The most of individuals who are Catholics, even, in countries that are culturally catholics in Europe and the Western world, are just like that. They are Catholic because of their baptism, so they define themselves as Catholics. They have had a little of religious education, some sacraments, and will likely marry in the Church if they met the requirement.

But they generally live as others atheist people, and live as them. They have out of wedlock sex, divorce etc.
Yoyr boyfriend seems a little more influence by the Catholic faith, as he regularly go to Church and oppose to contraception for himself.

For exposed nudity/pornography, it goes directly against our faith. It can have an influence on how he sees it. But many others opposed it, without belonging to the Catholic Church.

He does not seems very interest by theological questions, because he does not answer to your questions. It is very common for “cultural” Catholics. It is not your first post on this topic.
I think you do it the right way to pose him questions. Maybe it will bring him to a reflexion?

For premarital sex, many people do it because it is the easy way. But it is always possible to stop it, and sometimes without breaking the relationship, if the two are very motivated.
 
I thought on a previous thread you kinda already established that your boyfriend is not a practicing Catholic. So how do you want people to make sense of what he does when he does not practice his faith? Did he ever go to Mass? Did he receive his sacraments? Did he only get Baptized and never go to church once in his life? Nobody here knows that stuff. And no, believing in fate or not has nothing to do with being Catholic.

A person can’t continuously engage in pre maritial sex or living with a girlfriend and be considered a true practicing Catholic. Your boyfriend is Catholic by Baptism but he’s not a practicing one. Yes, he sounds like a cultural Catholic. There are a lot.

He probably has respect for The Catholic Church but actually living the faith is not something he’s ready to fully commit to.

Listen… There are no certain rules when dating a Catholic because All Catholics are different and nobody on this site knows your boyfriend. The Catholic Religion is not some mysterious sect where we keep secrets that only other Catholics would know. A devout Protestant’s would be able to see that your boyfriend is not being moral. Catholics follow the same 10 commandments that Protestants do. You guys both live secular lives. I think your feelings are clouding your judgement. You know something is wrong. A man who would cover his girlfriend’s eyes during a movie with a little skin showing but would have sex with her before marriage is a hypocrite.

We do not believe in birth control is ever allowed and we don’t believe in sex before marriage. Your boyfriend is not a practicing Catholic. He won’t talk about his faith either because he is either ashamed he’s not living up to it or he knows absolutely nothing about it. And yes, he’s using you for sex. He might love you, but he is using you too. And he is not loving you with all his heart because if he did he would not put your soul in danger by having pre maritial sex with you.

You can test his love for you. Simply tell him “Since you are Catholic and I also believe in God, let’s stop having sex unless we get married one day” if he is absolutely against that, then he’s no good. He is secular in his sexual views no matter if he is only committed to one girl. If he agrees then maybe a good relationship can develop
 
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