Are there communities where you can stay during the discernment period?

[foolishmortal]

I came back to fully accepting the fullness of my Faith about 8 years ago and, if we learned the important stuff in elementary school and high school, it wasn’t made interesting to us. I think we would have been more enthusiased, if it wasn’t stuff to memorize. I have always been a worrier. If you don’t know what to do when moral dilemmas are created by ones more ignorant than you amongst friends and family, if scrupulous, you might not feel you will ever be able to succeed spiritually, because you probably handled some dilemma wrong. You lose confidence.

I want to be away from any occasions of worldly sin (as opposed to those of human frailties when you get “rubbed wrong”), even if the community is not for me, by staying and helping throughout an application process as an internal oblate or something. I feel it would be very therapeutic for me and I can, then, be more therapeutic for others. I’m pretty good at writing things like cover letters, but I’ve made my mistakes and my interviewing skills are not so good. I would probably confess all my mistakes and get mistaken for one who beats himself up. I think if I was seen and I’m good with the others and my work, it would provide the community a more wholistic impression of me. Are there communities like that?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I believe that some trappist and benedictine abbeys have their postulants live with them but I believe that follows the candidate period which is when the application process is taken care of.

There are some answers to questions in the application process that they would need answers to before they would let you in for an extended stay but they might require as part of the application process some shorter stays.

Having said that, I think you need to get a spiritual director and to start getting in touch with some groups that appeal to you to see where you might want to join.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I came back to fully accepting the fullness of my Faith about 8 years ago and, if we learned the important stuff in elementary school and high school, it wasn’t made interesting to us. I think we would have been more enthused, if it wasn’t stuff to memorize. I have always been a worrier. If you don’t know what to do when moral dilemmas are created by ones more ignorant than you amongst friends and family, if scrupulous, you might not feel you will ever be able to succeed spiritually, because you probably handled some dilemma wrong. You lose confidence.

I want to be away from any occasions of worldly sin (as opposed to those of human frailties when you get “rubbed wrong”), even if the community is not for me, by staying and helping throughout an application process as an internal oblate or something. I feel it would be very therapeutic for me and I can, then, be more therapeutic for others. I’m pretty good at writing things like cover letters, but I’ve made my mistakes and my interviewing skills are not so good. I would probably confess all my mistakes and get mistaken for one who beats himself up. I think if I was seen and I’m good with the others and my work, it would provide the community a more holistic impression of me. Are there communities like that?

There are discernment houses for men and women alike. Several of them are on Catholic university campuses, close to the Newman Center, but then you have those that belong to a community. Some dioceses operate their own, too, for those who are looking to become diocesan priests. Here are some links to look at:

diocesephoenix.org/vocations/Serra%20House.htm

evangelist.org/archive/htm4/1002disc.htm

vincentians.net/programs.php

archlou.org/article35985.htm

This house is for the Brothers of the Holy Cross’ discernment program, and it’s worth checking into:
brothersofholycross.com/Discernment.htm

Since I don’t know which diocese you are in, or around, I can’t really look at those specific to you, but if you want to PM me here, I can do a search for you and help you out. I have heard of several discernment houses, so I would love to help you find one, if that’s what you need. God bless!

 

[foolishmortal]

Thank you for your help! Beautiful poem on the applying to multiple communities thread!

I hope I did not make myself sound like an innocent lamb or like family and friends are a bunch of heathens. They do beat me in generosity, while I live in my head, but I do like to help if asked. They think of it easier, though. Still, I have read much about Catholic morality, but don’t know how to use it well and become scrupulous, despair of holiness (not salvation, though by God’s mercy only is in my mind), and give into bad habits (nothing involving drugs, murder or abuse; just nervous ones). I’ve tried correcting, but it may not be good to correct others. A phlegmatic side of me hates to cause a rise of others’ emotions I have risen before and so I feel like a failure as a good example of one who knows more than most.

I can do much more for others being in a community where there’s a desire for penances. I think a great insecurity and burden of knowing so much more about moral theology would be removed. If I have little confidence in myself about the above paragraph, I have much about excelling in a community (preferably not a large group) as I often philosophize about myself so I may know my root weakness that it may be overcome. I should pray more, though.