Are these thoughts about lust and premarital sex correct?

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jmber11

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I think I’m posting this in the right place.
Anyway, as a young person this is something that I have thought about a lot. I have tried to put it into terms that are simple: It is ok to think that someone is attractive and what not. Like wise, it is ok to hug, kiss, cuddle, and touch* but when those start to turn sexual then it become lustful and thus wrong.
*By touch I do not mean anything involving the genitals but rather rubbing their back after a bad day or tracing your finger on their leg.
Are these thoughts correct?
 
I must sleep …so can not give a long answer…but there are signs of affection that can be chaste…and there are those that can be not chaste (certain kissing etc)…

This can be helpful:

ewtn.com/expert/answers/dating.htm from a writer theology dept at EWTN …

(One note though on this reading…I would note that when they say “as soon as he begins to enjoy…” under “pure intent”… it would mean before knowing consent…)

(PS: the leg thing for example sounds like something to avoid…)

Keep following Christ! In him is true life!

Oh…

Since you are young…make sure you read:
vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/travels/2011/index_madrid_en.htm
 
jmber11 said:
I think I’m posting this in the right place.
Anyway, as a young person this is something that I have thought about a lot. I have tried to put it into terms that are simple: It is ok to think that someone is attractive and what not. Like wise, it is ok to hug, kiss, cuddle, and touch* but when those start to turn sexual then it become lustful and thus wrong.
*By touch I do not mean anything involving the genitals but rather rubbing their back after a bad day or tracing your finger on their leg.
Are these thoughts correct?
Click to expand...
I would say correct.
 
I agree with the other poster that one should avoid the leg thing. As for the back rub, it can be tempting for some people so it might be something that one would want to avoid.
 
Thank you very much for the answers! I appreciate them. It’s also good to know that my thoughts are correct, this has been on my mind for a while. To respond to what you said about the leg thing, reading it back to myself it comes of as more seductive then anticipated.
Anyway, have a good day!
 
I thought Bobcat gave an excellent reference from EWTN

**There are three basic things to keep in mind while dating:

Never seek out anything solely for the pleasure it brings to us. To do these would be a violation of chastity because we lack control of our sexual desires and appetites, and a violation of charity because we see the other person as an object to our pleasure.

Never desire to sin or lead another into sin; this includes near occasions of sin.
Realize that your boyfriend or your girlfriend is neither a past-time nor a sport—he or she is a child of God worthy of your love and respect. It is a terrible situation when we ourselves fall into mortal sin, but when we have the soul of another in our hands, we must be equally careful not to lead them into sin.**
 
I think if you are doing something intentionally to excite specifically sexual feelings, that is not good.
 
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