Are these unreasonable expectations

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MargaretofCortona

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The ideal person is objective, dispassionate, open-minded, rational, cool, calm and collected.
Why can’t beliefs be just that? Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make them wrong or you right. If you’re right, accept not everyone will see it that way. It is sad hearing family members not talk for decades over perceived slights. Like sisters not talking because she did not side with her during a divorce or thought ending a marriage was wrong and over something petty.
Why can’t people move past their feelings?
I keep posting about this. I cannot stand how emotional people can be, I hate it myself when I get stuck in my own feelings.
It sucks that some feelings seem to linger and are not that easy to dismiss.
Why should disagreements end in violence, silencing others, or severing friendships?
Why can’t people mature past that?
Like harsh words ending a friendship.
Then again everything comes at a price.
Why do women in general tend to be more emotional and sensitive than men?

I’m sorry for whiny rant posts.
There is a certain feeling I need a strong prayer to flick it away.

If you are kind enough, pray for me that I overcome feelings of fear, that I can let go and finally find peace.
 
If someone disagrees with you but what you believe is the truth then of course they are wrong. A fairly simple fact.

We weren’t given emotions, for us to put them in cages like cute little machines. We are creatures of feeling. Not the borg.

Your passion is your weapon.

The first line of sentiments is irrelevant next to the ‘Truth’.

Liberal society likes the idea of burying that. I dont.

We argue because we are pationate about the pursuit of truth and should continue to express that for as long as the desire to find it reigns in our hearts.

Hopefully always.
 
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How do I get over ideals? Like how I expect others to humbly accept correction and criticism in good grace regardless of the intent, messenger, or words used. Whether the correction is done publicly to humiliate or privately.
Or I expect people to have no pride. Readily and freely accept responsibility and admit wrong.
 
I hate feelings mostly the icky ones like when you notice you harbor envy, resentment, jealousy, unforgivenness in your heart, the need to be right.

Oversensitivity can hamper us from having honest dialogue about difficult issues.

Is there such thing as being too harsh, overstepping your boundaries or top aggressive when speaking the truth?
Ideally people should never feel offended by another’s beliefs or opinions. People should be able to debate, disagree freely, honestly without any hard feelings afterwards.
People shouldn’t hold on to harsh words. Feelings should be fleeting.
 
People’s preferences shouldn’t offend another. Some women feel butthurt or betrayed that male members of their race prefer to date exclusively outside of their race. Where is reason? No one owns anyone or controls anyone.
 
We might hope for moderation in how we feel, believe, etc., but there are some times when we want to fight for what is right. Jesus himself got angry at the money lenders, so anger, in itself is not wrong. Sometimes two people can disagree so strongly and it really DOES matter. Sometimes there is no common ground and you cannot just agree to disagree. You simply need to excise the evil. An example was the Second World War. You were either on the side of evil or on the side of good. You had to fight for good.

Also, society likes to point out that women tend to be more emotional and sensitive than men. I don’t think it’s true. But let’s pretend it’s true. Do you really think it’s always best to be less emotional? Is it always best to be less sensitive?

I agree with you that disagreements need not end in severed friendships. The trouble is you have to pick your friends very carefully. The ones with liberal beliefs will throw you under a bus the minute you disagree with them about anything important.

I think some people mature past all this drama. They have to WANT to gain control of themselves. I can think of one person now who is over eighty and still looking for drama in all the wrong places.
 
To be an idealist in this world is to suffer.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” -Paul’s letter to the Phillipians

I think you get over ideals to some degree by accepting the world as it is- fallen. And it’s not going to get fixed until the creation of a new heavens and a new earth when Jesus comes again in glory.
 
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MargaretofCortona said:
Or I expect people to have no pride. Readily and freely accept responsibility and admit wrong.
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I don’t really think that we can expect others to do this, where we can get them to admit that they’re wrong. Usually if we try this, they’re going to be on the defensive about it, especially if they don’t think that they’re wrong, or that they’ve done anything wrong.

What will make it worse too, is in the delivery of our attempt.

If we come across as being too critical or harsh, that will just probably shut any attempt at communication down, and cause the other person to be upset or on the defensive.

God bless you, my dear. ❤️

I know that you have been struggling with these issues.

If anything, I would pray for help with them.
 
As I often say, OP, I really think you should talk to someone offline about this, productively. Do it to find solutions, not just musings on yourself and others. Clearly, we at CAF can’t answer your questions in a way that you need.

You sound very unhappy, I’m sorry about that. Maybe talking to a therapist will help you to accept yourself as you are, rather than what you would desire to be.
 
Margaret perhaps read some St.Francis DeSales, to replace these thoughts and gain some peace. This wonderful saint is amongst the most gentle.

God Bless you 🌸🌸
 
I think it’s clear that there is something deeper than what you’re saying which is bothering you.

Human beings are social animals, your ideal person would be a lonely animal indeed. There’s a reason why people on the spectrum have troubles when it comes to relationships.

Honestly, it sounds silly but I’m guessing there’s something in the past that is affecting you now. Did someone made you feel horrible for being emotional? Are you suppressing a certain memory? Did someone in particular hurt you in a way that makes you feel that being emotional is bad? Did you have a fight with someone that does not understand you and that fall out is hurting you right now, which is why you are trying to validate your own side of the story?

I’m just curious because I have friends who value logic over emotion and expressed similar sentiments but they don’t harp on this as much as you have here.
 
Be realistic. People do not act perfectly all the time
 
What does the ideal person have to do with being a Christian?

The problem is when the ignorant continue to spout their opinions b/c they refuse to repent. It disheartens those who do the right things and it can put the righteous’s souls at risk.
 
Bon_Croix said:
The problem is when the ignorant continue to spout their opinions b/c they refuse to repent.
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I think what helps is to realize that people live their lives and for most who choose a different path outside of Christianity it is not because they are trying to stick it to those of us who are they are just living their lives. Calling them ignorant and holding hostility towards them does not seem the best way to bridge the gap, and for some they view Christians the exact same way.
 
May you learn to find peace in what you have…
For your mental health…

Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Fatima, AMEN!
 
They don’t want to carry the cross. Just like most on this board. Sending a few dollars to a non profit to help buy a thanksgiving meal is about all they care to do.

Talk about a small cross, while at the same time continuing their gossiping, working on holy days, and not repenting.

I know I’m not John the Baptist, but heck he wore hairy garments and lived off of wild honey and locusts. About the 3rd holiest human to ever live.
 
MargaretofCortona said:
Be realistic. People do not act perfectly all the time
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I know, which is why I said to lower your expectations.

I have the ideal that my husband will be loving; but, he’s human so I don’t actually expect him to do so all the time. That’s what extending grace is all about, maintaining a high ideal but understanding and forgiving when we and those around us fall short.
 
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