Are we being over-protective?

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Our 16 -year-old daughter (a young 16) wanted to go to “Taste of Chicago” today (Saturday) with a friend from school, plus this girl’s friends. There would have been four young teen-aged girls on their own with no adult along, late in the afternoon and into the evening. And we don’t even know these other girls. My husband and I refused to let her go under those conditions. “Taste of Chicago” is an annual over-hyped, over crowded, over priced food fest held on the Lakefront. In the afternoon it attracts families, but later in the evening, I’m afraid, it wouldn’t be so family friendly with all the drinkers around.
Are we being hopelessly old fashioned and over-protective not to let her go?
 
Well, I’m 26 years old now, but 10 years ago, my parents wouldn’t have let me go, either. 😃

I don’t think you are being over protective. It sounds like there’s a little voice deep inside telling you that something isn’t right about the situation, making you uncomfortable. I’m a big believer in listening to our intuition. 😉 God gave it to us for a reason.
 
No, you are not being overprotective.

Chicago is a very large city, with lots of opportunity to get into a bad situation, over their heads.
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I would say that you should ease her in to going to the city-- if this isn’t something she normally does, then no I wouldn’t let her go by herself.
 
My 20 yo ds is working it but I wouldn’t let his 15 almost 16 yo sister go with him because he will be busy and 100% attention won’t be on her so you know my answer…
 
I would have told her that I or Dad would be happy to go with the four of them and piled into the car.

As long as they were with me and being good, I would have let them have fun and be goofy all they wanted. They get to go and I get peace of mind, and the opportunity to have fun time with my daughter and get to know her friends. Everyone would win.
 
I have a daughter about the same age, and with the situation that you just laid out, I probably would have said no too. I might have said yes if I knew the friends well and they seemed like they were trustworthy. I also would have considered it if I was the one driving them there and knew all of the particulars as far as where exactly they would be and the time that I would be picking them up. I do tend to give my daughter a little bit more freedom than some other parents, but that is because she has nice friends that I know well, good grades, talks to me about what is going on in her life, and has had the good sense to call me in the past when things weren’t right.
 
MissMaryMack said:
I would have told her that I or Dad would be happy to go with the four of them and piled into the car.

As long as they were with me and being good, I would have let them have fun and be goofy all they wanted. They get to go and I get peace of mind, and the opportunity to have fun time with my daughter and get to know her friends. Everyone would win.
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That would have been my solution as well. If she doesn’t want to go with Mom or Dad as chaperone, she doesn’t go at all. Plus, then you’d get to meet these friends.
 
You were right.👍 For me the problem would be not knowing all of the girls she was going there with.
 
If I knew the girls, I would have said yes. In fact, back when my kid was 14, I knew the girls, and allowed my daughter to fly all over the world with them for her synchro skating team!

But if I didn’t know the girls–I would have said, “I’ll go along.” I wouldn’t have walked with them, but I would have asked them to meet me somewhere every hour or so.
 
Ok, it even sounds too much for me and I’m 33:)

I’m also from rural Minnesota population 8,000:o

I wouldn’t let my daughter go unless a adult was with and that would be that, way too many dangers in my opinion and since you don’t know the other girls, no way… you haven’t any ideas if their values are the same as yours and what type of pressure they might put on your daughter.

In my opinion its better to error on the side of caution, if your daughter wants to go next year then offer to go with and promise you’ll keep a nice distance but that is that.

I think you did the right thing;)
 
No–not overprotective at all. No adults as chaperones into the evening? Nah…not in this day and age when young women are being abducted at rapid rates.

I think you made the sage choice, mom.🙂
 
Even if you know and trust your daughter’s friends, Taste of Chicago with the crowds is not the kind of place for young girls to be going without an adult. With any kind of a crowd you don’t know what kind of people are milling about and there are too many kooks running around just looking for kids who are alone. You are right not to let her go. She might be a bit upset about it but as she matures she’ll realize you were right. You aren’t being over-protective; you are trying to protect your precious daughter.
 
You are a good parent and you did right. 👍 Most parents nowadays lets their kids run amuck with no supervision. I know at some point everyones seen a gaggle of barely dressed teens loitering at the movies, park etc.
My parents never let me go that route and I’m thankful (now at least) that they were protective. She may be ticked off now but later she will realize you didn’t out of love. I was 16 once and I was an idiot. lol
16 unsupervised… no way. Too many wackos out there and too many terrible situations to be put in at that naive age.
 
I was just at a safety talk given by a police detective.

A parent asked if they were being over-protective and gave an example.

The detective said, “There is no such thing as being over-protective. You are the parent. You are charged with your child’s safety.”

I don’t know if I agree that there is no such thing, but I agree with most of the replies here.

No you are not being over-protective.
 
MissMaryMack said:
I would have told her that I or Dad would be happy to go with the four of them and piled into the car.

As long as they were with me and being good, I would have let them have fun and be goofy all they wanted. They get to go and I get peace of mind, and the opportunity to have fun time with my daughter and get to know her friends. Everyone would win.
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I like this answer best! 👍
Solves BOTH problems!
 
Is she nuts?!? :mad: Of course you shouldn’t let her go to that wild spectacle without adult supervision, and a can of mace!!!👍 The heat of the park and the crowds is enough to make a person sick, let alone every kukoo in the area hanging out, waiting for something or someone to happen.

It is not a “pile them in the car” event. There is no place to park. You have to take public transportation to a checkpoint, located at various locations inside the City of Chicago. You then have to take shuttles to the Taste site on the Lakefront, or walk to the Taste site- often 3-5 miles away. You then have to find a booth and buy tickets, because they don’t take money. The tickets are nonrefundable, so you can’t buy too many. You then have to reverse the procedure to leave.
 
Good grief - after Out’s explanation - you absolutely did the right thing.

Keep those “spidey” senses sharp and stay alert. Our darling kids really think they are invincible and God Bless them for that hunger to be all grown up. But reality is a quick jolt to the jugular vein and you can never really be too careful.

The event lasts a few more days, perhaps you can offer to take a few of the kids down there - or in the alternative - go to places you know are safe and family friendly.
 
Thanks for all the encouragement. My daughter’s plan was for us to drop her off at her friend’s house (about 5 miles away) and the friend would take it from there. But I couldn’t get a definite answer from my daughter about who was taking them, how they were getting Downtown and how long they were staying. And when she told me that they were just going to start out at 5:00 p.m. that’s when I vetoed the whole thing. Surprisingly, there was a minimum of hystrionics on my daughter’s part–just an accusation that I “always think the worst!” (That’s my job.)
 
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