Are we ever excluded from Confession(?)

[Tannhauser]

If a Catholic man is cohabiting with his homosexual partner:

Is this “living in a state of sin” ?

Does this preclude that Catholoic man from Holy Communion ?

Does this preclude that Catholic man from Confession, if his living arrangements prevent him from making a firm resolution *not to sin again *?

All other comments regarding such a situation are welcome : constructive criticism please.

 

[paul_c]

If a Catholic man is cohabiting with his homosexual partner:

Is this “living in a state of sin” ?

I think that this is clearly living in a state of sin. It is sinful to have sex with anyone other than their spouse, whether they are gay or straight.

Does this preclude that Catholic man from Holy Communion ?

A person must be in the state of grace to receive the eucharist. (

Does this preclude that Catholic man from Confession, if his living arrangements prevent him from making a firm resolution *not to sin again *?

To be absolved of a sin in the sacrament of reconciliation (confession), a person must be sorry for his sins (contrition) and try not to repeat them (repentant) and do the necessary penance to make up for his sins. Obviously if the person in question is not changing his sinful lifestyle, its pointless to go to confession because the priest can not absolve his sins.

All other comments regarding such a situation are welcome : constructive criticism please.

It is a challenge for gay people to live chaste lives, to be sure, but its equally challenging for straight people. We all have our crosses to bear. To get right with God, the person must end this homosexual relationship, then go to confession and re-enter the state of Grace. By the way, this is not that different from the situation for a straight, unmarried couple or a couple on a second marriage after a divorce. The sexual relation that is moral, and in fact its sacramental, is in the marriage of a man and a woman, who come together to have and raise children. This creation and nurturing of life is indeed a holy thing that is not to be taken lightly.

 

[puzzleannie]

CAtholics are never excluded from the sacrament of confession; they are however refused absolution if the adamantly refuse to repent and cease the sinful act or condition. In such a case the person (not penitent, if he is not penitent) is also barred from communion and the other sacraments until he repents, amends his manner of life and then again asks for and receives absolution. To imply that only gays face this challenge is to ignore the spiritual challenges faced by millions of people who cannot for dozens of reasons enjoy marital relations licitly and morally.

 

[chain]

I think you are not allowed to approach the sacrament if you are excommunicated (it must be lifted first - I could be wrong on this, and there may be exceptions). I think you can not be given absolution if you are in a state of unrepentant sin.

That said, I do not know the wiggle room that the Church has for people living together if they are not in a state of unrepentant sin (but there is potential for scandal). ie a couple who is married outside the church can be allowed to live as brother and sister - but that is not the norm.

I know when I was trying to regularize my marriage, I was not given absolution during an extended period that my “wife” and I were living in a chaste relationship. Our community was very aware of our marriage outside the church. Allowing us to receive communion before our con-validation could have confused others and led them into sin.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I think you are not allowed to approach the sacrament if you are excommunicated (it must be lifted first - I could be wrong on this, and there may be exceptions). I think you can not be given absolution if you are in a state of unrepentant sin…

You cannot be given absolution until the excommunication is lifted. However, going into the confessional and discussing it there with the priest may be the best first step in getting it lifted. In many cases the priest may have authority to lift it immediately. Otherwise he will know the proper steps to take to get it lifted.

 

[LaFleurDeLis]

CAtholics are never excluded from the sacrament of confession; they are however refused absolution if the adamantly refuse to repent and cease the sinful act or condition. In such a case the person (not penitent, if he is not penitent) is also barred from communion and the other sacraments until he repents, amends his manner of life and then again asks for and receives absolution. To imply that only gays face this challenge is to ignore the spiritual challenges faced by millions of people who cannot for dozens of reasons enjoy marital relations licitly and morally.

This is not true. A Catholic who remarries outside of the church without getting an annulment for a previous marriage is not allowed to go to confession or recieve communion. They can only do so if they abtain annulments and are properly married in the church.

 

[beehumble]

This is not true. A Catholic who remarries outside of the church without getting an annulment for a previous marriage is not allowed to go to confession or recieve communion. They can only do so if they abtain annulments and are properly married in the church.

Not true. in this case, they must commit to living as if ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ - no marital relations. Now of course, this is nearly impossible so for most practical purposes the couple cannot be absolved and therefor cannot receive Holy Communion. For those who can live as brother and sister, absolution is available and so is Holy Communion.

 

[bethanysamuel]

You can go to Confession and confess anything you like, but if you’re not sorry, it’s invalid. It’s kinda like confessing to stabbing someone whilst still carrying the knife.
Earlier this year, I confessed to co-hab, and as soon as I walked out of the Confessional, I told my “partner” it was over. Not easy.
As other posters said, it doesn’t matter whether you’re gay/straight. Chastity is Chastity. I don’t mean to sound blunt, just giving my opinion.

 

[LaFleurDeLis]

Not true. in this case, they must commit to living as if ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ - no marital relations. Now of course, this is nearly impossible so for most practical purposes the couple cannot be absolved and therefor cannot receive Holy Communion. For those who can live as brother and sister, absolution is available and so is Holy Communion.

What I said then was true because many people in this situation will not committ to living as brother and sister. I was talking about those people who continue having marital relations.

If you decide to live as brother and sister, then yes, you can go to confession and communion.

 

[chain]

My situation might not be the same as many others. Several years ago, my wife and family moved to help my mother. A grace associated with the move was my wife made a lot of new friends who were strong Catholics - which ultimately motivated her to get an annulment.

Meanwhile my job did not move and I now spend quite a bit of time away from home (I am generally only home on weekends and 1 night a week), for over 1/2 the time we were already maintaining separate residence.

We decided to live as brother and sister during the annulment process - as anything else seemed hypocritical. During a period of 9 months, I spoke with 2 priests on several occasions on the possibility of being able to return to communion with the church. On both occasions I was told no, and needed to wait.

I recognize that it is very possible I could have opinion shopped. I am sure I could have targeted known liberal priests for absolution and more likely than not gotten it (especially since I have known priests in the past who did not believe mortal sin actually existed, and others who specifically did not think premarital sex was a serious sin). I felt that too would be hypocritical and decided to trust my local priest. fwiw, I think our dedication to this allowed us to witness to our children and other youth we were working with.

So anyway, while I believe living as brother and sisters can be an option available - I think for the most part it is only offered by most priests as a last resort (ie, the annulment was not granted and separation would cause more harm than good).

 

[Cristiano]

What I said then was true because many people in this situation will not committ to living as brother and sister. I was talking about those people who continue having marital relations.

If you decide to live as brother and sister, then yes, you can go to confession and communion.

What you said was incorrect, nobody is barred from going to confession. However, as others have posted the sacrament includes confession, contrition, intent of not repeating the sin and words of absolution, if any one of those is missing the sacrament is not granted.

 

[puzzleannie]

This is not true. A Catholic who remarries outside of the church without getting an annulment for a previous marriage is not allowed to go to confession or recieve communion. They can only do so if they abtain annulments and are properly married in the church.

as I said, they are not excluded from entering the confessional, but they may be denied absolution unless and until they rectify the situation which separates them from the sacraments. I don’t know how many ways there are to keep saying the same thing. since we are not the priest in confession, we do not know what an individual may be told inside that confessional, so it is best not to make definitive pronouncements about it

 

[K_Colleen]

If a Catholic man is cohabiting with his homosexual partner:

Is this “living in a state of sin” ?

Does this preclude that Catholoic man from Holy Communion ?

Does this preclude that Catholic man from Confession, if his living arrangements prevent him from making a firm resolution *not to sin again *?

All other comments regarding such a situation are welcome : constructive criticism please.

You probably cannot get absolution from the priest. I just tried going to confession for the 1st time in like 15 years yesterday and the priest told me that because I had married outside the Catholic church I could not participate in the sacrament of reconciliation. I was shocked. It had taken me a year to get up the guts to go and I finally do and am denied. So yes, apparently we can be excluded from confession.

 

[paul_c]

You probably cannot get absolution from the priest. I just tried going to confession for the 1st time in like 15 years yesterday and the priest told me that because I had married outside the Catholic church I could not participate in the sacrament of reconciliation. I was shocked. It had taken me a year to get up the guts to go and I finally do and am denied. So yes, apparently we can be excluded from confession.

Did he go over what was required to be able to participate in the sacrament?

 

[FatHead]

You probably cannot get absolution from the priest. I just tried going to confession for the 1st time in like 15 years yesterday and the priest told me that because I had married outside the Catholic church I could not participate in the sacrament of reconciliation. I was shocked. It had taken me a year to get up the guts to go and I finally do and am denied. So yes, apparently we can be excluded from confession.

that is because you are living in a state of sin

you cant go to confession and say your sorry for all your sins and will try your hardest not to sin again, then go home and live with the man that isnt your husband

 

[paul_c]

that is because you are living in a state of sin

you cant go to confession and say your sorry for all your sins and will try your hardest not to sin again, then go home and live with the man that isnt your husband

This is all true. The question is, what can be done to reconcile the situation? If they were just not married in the church (by a justice of the peace, for instance), are there impediments to simply getting married in the church. If there is a divorce involved, I wonder what the priest told her to do.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think that this is clearly living in a state of sin. It is sinful to have sex with anyone other than their spouse, whether they are gay or straight.

A person must be in the state of grace to receive the eucharist. (

To be absolved of a sin in the sacrament of reconciliation (confession), a person must be sorry for his sins (contrition) and try not to repeat them (repentant) and do the necessary penance to make up for his sins. Obviously if the person in question is not changing his sinful lifestyle, its pointless to go to confession because the priest can not absolve his sins.

It is a challenge for gay people to live chaste lives, to be sure, but its equally challenging for straight people. We all have our crosses to bear. To get right with God, the person must end this homosexual relationship, then go to confession and re-enter the state of Grace. By the way, this is not that different from the situation for a straight, unmarried couple or a couple on a second marriage after a divorce. The sexual relation that is moral, and in fact its sacramental, is in the marriage of a man and a woman, who come together to have and raise children. This creation and nurturing of life is indeed a holy thing that is not to be taken lightly.

Excellent answer! A person can always go to confession, but without at least a plan and effort to ammend their lives after confession, there is little point.

Sexual questions often tend to cloud the issue, but if you think about it as Scrooge going to confession for his sin of greed and then adding extra fees to his rents the next day, you’ll see how it makes little sense to go in an confess fornication, if you go home to your live-in lover without even trying to find a new apartment.

 

[puzzleannie]

You probably cannot get absolution from the priest. I just tried going to confession for the 1st time in like 15 years yesterday and the priest told me that because I had married outside the Catholic church I could not participate in the sacrament of reconciliation. I was shocked. It had taken me a year to get up the guts to go and I finally do and am denied. So yes, apparently we can be excluded from confession.

and you can be included by taking steps to rectify the situation, ask your priest for guidance outside confession on how to convalidate your marriage, so you can return to the sacraments. Isn’t this Church great?

geneal rule: no a person who is not penitent and demonstrates that by refusal to amend his manner of living, will probably be denied absolution until he has a change of heart.

My husband is getting medical tests this week (under protest) and has been told he needs treatment, possibly surgery. However this will not be undertaken until he first changes certain habits that not only endanger his health, but make it too risky to undergo the prescribed treatment. If he does not change, he is not being excluded from the health care system, he has merely refused to cooperate, at least at this time, with one part of that system. when he does get his act together, he will be admitted for the treatment.

 

[K_Colleen]

Did he go over what was required to be able to participate in the sacrament?

Actually he didn’t. But I know now that I am doing research on the subject that my husband and I would need to either go get our marriage blessed (I don’t know the technical term)
or I would have to get a radical sanation. The thing is, I was brought up Catholic, went to Catholic school, and then left the church for about 15 years. When I got married I honestly didn’t know that I would never be able to participate in any sacrament if we didn’t get married in the church. (You’d be surprised about all the things I don’t know about the religion I was born into!) My husband is not Catholic. Anyways, so now we have decided to raise our kids Catholic, they go to Catholic school, and it is bringing me closer to the church. But my DH is, like I said, not Catholic and never will be. He supports the kids and I but never wants to participate in anything having to do with church. So to answer your question the priest didn’t tell me but I figured it out on my own. I am not sure what I want to to do now…

 

[paul_c]

Actually he didn’t. But I know now that I am doing research on the subject that my husband and I would need to either go get our marriage blessed (I don’t know the technical term)
or I would have to get a radical sanation. The thing is, I was brought up Catholic, went to Catholic school, and then left the church for about 15 years. When I got married I honestly didn’t know that I would never be able to participate in any sacrament if we didn’t get married in the church. (You’d be surprised about all the things I don’t know about the religion I was born into!) My husband is not Catholic. Anyways, so now we have decided to raise our kids Catholic, they go to Catholic school, and it is bringing me closer to the church. But my DH is, like I said, not Catholic and never will be. He supports the kids and I but never wants to participate in anything having to do with church. So to answer your question the priest didn’t tell me but I figured it out on my own. I am not sure what I want to to do now…

You are not alone in being poorly catechised. There were many, many Catholics in the same position in the years after vatican 2 - myself included. Believe it or not, I got on the path to actually learning the faith about 10 years ago when I volunteered to be a catechist. I learned far more than my students from the teaching materials.

In any case, here’s the Catholic teaching on salvation (simplified and paraphrased).

You enter the state of grace when you are baptized. At that point, you are freed of all prior sin, given the grace to love as God wants you to love and made a member of the church. In exchange for all that, we pledge (or in the case of cradle catholics, our parents pledge for us) to do God’s will for us, which is to love God and neighbor. (Love is doing something for others without expecting anything in return). As long as we keep our promise, we stay in the state of grace and if we die in the state of grace we will go to heaven. If we fail to stay in the state of grace at death, we will be condemned to hell

Because God knows our limitations and he is merciful, he will forgive our sins if we ask him to sacramentally as often as we need it. This requires contrition (sorrow for your sins), confession to a priest, repentance (the desire to stop sinning) and penance. Once these conditions are met, the priest can grant you absolution and you will return to the state of grace.

The sexual act is a sacred action because it creates new souls. This is why it must only be done within a sacramental marriage, where both parties commit to raising this new soul within the church so that it can also be led to heaven.

If you believe this, then your path should be quite clear:
a) Talk to your priest to find out what is required to get married in the church in your specific situation.
b) explain to your husband why you want to do this and why its important to you (he doesn’t need to convert, he just needs to agree to raise the Children as Catholic, which I take from your note, he has already done).
c) once you have your husband’s agreement, complete what is necessary from step a.

Good luck and God bless. I think you will feel infinitely better if you do this. God has been leading you back. Just follow your conscience on this.