Are we married in the Church?

  • Thread starter Thread starter franklinstower
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

franklinstower

Guest
My wife and I have been civilly married for 19 years. We became Catholic 17 years ago baptized and confirmed. Somehow it was never mentioned to us that we had to be married within the Catholic faith. Recently someone told us that we are not married and should not be receiving communion.

Is this true?
 
Were either of you baptized Catholic as babies? Were either of you married before? Assuming both answers are no, you were validly married before you entered the Church and remain validly married. If you have questions about your status, a conversation with your pastor will clear them up. And tell your busybody acquaintance to mind his own business.
 
you can get your marriage convalidated . its simple. ask your priest
 
If you were validly married before you were baptized, that was a valid natural marriage. If you were later baptized and confirmed, your marriage became sacramental upon your baptism. The Church does not repeat or convalidate marriages which were already valid. There was, obviously, no expectation for you to marry in the Church as you were not Catholic at the time. This should have been discussed with you when you were baptized.
 
And if they were baptized in another faith and married before conversion it’s a valid sacramental marriage.

As for convalidation mentioned earlier, it is for Catholics married outside the Church while Catholics. These folks weren’t. Their marriage is valid.

We had three convalidations in my RCIA class. All were a Catholic married to an unconfirmed but baptized Catholic who was there for confirmation only.
 
franklinstower said:
Recently someone told us that we are not married and should not be receiving communion.
Click to expand...
Free advice is often worth every penny we pay for it.

Simply ask your pastor…given the many variables presented by other posters here, it may not be an issue at all, but don’t count on us for an absolute answer any more than the advice given recently by your friend, because we simply do not have access to all the circumstances.

Peace.
 
Last edited:
franklinstower said:
My wife and I have been civilly married for 19 years. We became Catholic 17 years ago baptized and confirmed.
Click to expand...
Neither of you were Catholics when you married. You had no requirement to marry in “Catholic form”. That applies to CATHOLICS. Your marriage was valid.
franklinstower said:
Somehow it was never mentioned to us that we had to be married within the Catholic faith
Click to expand...
Because you were already validly married. As a marriage involving unbaptized people, the Church calls this a natural marriage. When you came into the Church and were both baptized, your valid natural marriage became a valid sacramental marriage.

You did NOT and DO NOT need to exchange new consent in Catholic form. Again, the requirements of form to contract a valid marriage are Church-imposed requirements on Catholics at the time of their marriage. Your perfectly valid marriage is accepted by the Church. Just like a protestant baptism would be accepted by the Church and not “redone”.
franklinstower said:
Recently someone told us that we are not married and should not be receiving communion.
Click to expand...
That someone is ignorant and should NOT be telling other people things that trouble their conscience and are 100% false.

You are married. Do not even think of this again. Be at peace.
 
Roseeurekacross said:
you can get your marriage convalidated . its simple. ask your priest
Click to expand...
No.

They are already validly married. Convalidation is the new exchange of consent to become married when someone is in an invalid marriage. They cannot convalidate a valid marriage. Not possible.
 
They are Catholic now, right. So are you saying their natural marriage became sacramental when they were baptised catholic
 
Roseeurekacross said:
They are Catholic now, right. So are you saying their natural marriage became sacramental when they were baptised catholic
Click to expand...
Yes. When both parties are baptized, a valid marriage is a sacrament by that very fact. Whether they were baptized into the Catholic Church, or validly baptized elsewhere. If both parties are baptized, in a valid marriage, it is a sacrament.

If one or both are unbaptized, the marriage is referred to as a natural marriage. If it anytime in the future the unbaptized party or parties become baptized so that both people in the marriage are baptized, it becomes a sacrament.
 
Last edited:
franklinstower, Don’t let those people tell you lies, if you were properly married, and then converted to the Faith, you had a valid marriage, and are good to go.
 
I am soooooo confused! I was baptized, confirmed, and raised an Anglican/Episcopalian. I became Roman Catholic after getting married. A deacon told me that we had to go through convalidation and it was a “major oversight” that my RCIA program didn’t catch that. He told us that we had to go to a Marriage Encounter retreat, plan a ceremony down to picking out music, everything. In the meantime, we were not supposed to receive Eucharist because our marriage wasn’t valid.

So we started to pursue the process at our parish, where another deacon gave us a rather invasive questionnaire about how suited we’d be to get married. (Um, we already were married!) The deacon ended up transferring to another parish, and our effort fizzled.

Sorry to derail - it’s just frustrating. Why isn’t this more clear-cut? That there’s contradictory messages indicates that there’s ignorance on one end or the other . . .
 
No mater what religion you are in, (or were in) when you were married, as long as you validly married someone of the same religion, the Catholic Church will respect that marriage as valid.
 
blackforest said:
Why isn’t this more clear-cut?
Click to expand...
It is clear-cut. I don’t know why someone working at the parish, particularly a deacon, would be so ill informed.

I am sorry that happened to you. Unless there is more to the story, such as a prior marriage or a Catholic baptism on the part of one of the parties in your marriage, I can’t imagine why you would’ve been told this.

(If there was a prior marriage that would trigger a nullity or dissolution process not a convalidation.)
 
Last edited:
Thank you all for the replies. I am often very grateful for this website and being able to connect with so many passionate Catholic!! We are at ease now for sure. Thanks again.
 
blackforest said:
I am soooooo confused! I was baptized, confirmed, and raised an Anglican/Episcopalian. I became Roman Catholic after getting married. A deacon told me that we had to go through convalidation and it was a “major oversight” that my RCIA program didn’t catch that. He told us that we had to go to a Marriage Encounter retreat, plan a ceremony down to picking out music, everything. In the meantime, we were not supposed to receive Eucharist because our marriage wasn’t valid.
Click to expand...
Is your spouse Catholic? If so, you either needed to be married in the Catholic Church or get a dispensation to be married elsewhere. If neither of you were Catholic then I’m confused too.
 
I just got off the phone with my current parish. I explained my entire situation, and they said that convalidation was optional and a lovely thing to do but not required. Thanks!
 
Last edited:
blackforest said:
I just got off the phone with my current parish. I explained my entire situation, and they said that convalidation was optional and a lovely thing to do but not required. Thanks!
Click to expand...
Who did you talk to?? There’s no such thing as an optional convalidation. It’s only done if it’s required.
 
blackforest said:
I just got off the phone with my current parish. I explained my entire situation, and they said that convalidation was optional and a lovely thing to do but not required. Thanks!
Click to expand...
AAHHH!

Not true.

A convalidation is either needed or it isn’t.

It’s not “a lovely thing to do”. It’s the thing you HAVE to do to make an invalid marriage valid. It’s a thing you absolutely DO NOT do if your marriage is valid.

Ay-yai-yai!

You have a valid marriage. Be at peace.

But I will throw in there, there is something called the Nuptial Blessing (which is NOT a convalidation) it’s a blessing prayer for newly married couples (or any married couple who hasn’t yet received it). That may be what the person was talking about.

You could ask your pastor for the Nuptial Blessing. It’s just a blessing for God’s grace on you and your marriage.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top