Are we Married?

[Tiffany05]

So my husband and I were just watching the new Catholic Symbolon series and it stated a few things that made a marriage valid in the Catholic Church, one of which is both being baptized. I was born and raised Catholic, but my husband was born and raised Pentecostal where they don’t use the Trinitarian form of baptism which is considered null in the Catholic Church. Since our marriage, he has done lots of studying and discovered the one true Church and converted, and now we have three little ones. I’m getting a little nervous that we were never technically married that whole time, though.

The Catholic priest had asked my to be husband if he had been baptized and for his baptismal certificate shortly before we were going to get married, but it is rare that someone is not baptized using the Trinitarian formula. I think the priest just assumed. So are we actually married?

 

[DarkLight]

Was your husband baptized Catholic? If not, a marriage between a baptized person and an unbaptized person is considered valid but not sacramental. When both parties are baptized it becomes sacramental. If your husband was baptized as a Catholic prior to the marriage there’s a little more that goes on.

But talk to a priest. Presuming neither of you have prior marriages, even if it does turn out to be invalid it is a very simple fix.

 

[Tiffany05]

He is baptized in the Catholic Church now, but not before we were married. If we are not married sacramentaly, should we be concerned about committing a sin by living together or having sexual relations until the problem is fixed. We have called a priest that we know that deals with similar things, but he is usually extremely busy.

 

[Phemie]

Was your husband baptized Catholic? If not, a marriage between a baptized person and an unbaptized person is considered valid but not sacramental. When both parties are baptized it becomes sacramental. If your husband was baptized as a Catholic prior to the marriage there’s a little more that goes on.

But talk to a priest. Presuming neither of you have prior marriages, even if it does turn out to be invalid it is a very simple fix.

You should approach your priest at the earliest occasion and discuss this with him. If it wasn’t originally a trinitarian Baptism, then your husband appears to still be unbaptized although he is considered a Catholic. Or did he have a conditional Baptism at the time he converted?

If at the time of your marriage your husband was unbaptized, the priest needed a dispensation from the Bishop in order to celebrate a valid (not to be confused with sacramental) marriage. If the priest thought he WAS baptized he probably didn’t obtain that dispensation. But if he knew he wasn’t baptized he would have petitioned for the dispensation and you have a perfectly valid marriage.

Clarify the Baptism and proceed from there.

 

[spiderweb]

He is baptized in the Catholic Church now, but not before we were married. If we are not married sacramentaly, should we be concerned about committing a sin by living together or having sexual relations until the problem is fixed. We have called a priest that we know that deals with similar things, but he is usually extremely busy.

You were married in the Catholic Church. Because your husband did not have a sacramental baptism, your marriage was not sacramental, but it is a valid natural marriage. Having sexual relations within a natural marriage is not sinful. At the time your husband was baptized, your marriage became sacramental. From what I see here there is nothing to worry about and nothing more that needs to be done. However, just explain it to your priest for your own peace of mind and if there is something he can advise you.

 

[Catie59]

You were married in the Catholic Church. Because your husband did not have a sacramental baptism, your marriage was not sacramental, but it is a valid natural marriage. Having sexual relations within a natural marriage is not sinful. At the time your husband was baptized, your marriage became sacramental. From what I see here there is nothing to worry about and nothing more that needs to be done. However, just explain it to your priest for your own peace of mind and if there is something he can advise you.

I’m not an expert, but for it to be sacramental all he needs to do is be baptized in the Trinitarian form. The Catholic church acknowledges all Trinitarian Baptism

 

[DarkLight]

It seems what no one explained is the difference between a valid marriage and a sacramental marriage. Valid marriages can be either sacramental, or what’s termed natural. Because baptism is the prerequisite for all the other sacraments, an unbaptized person cannot enter into a sacramental marriage. A marriage where one or both parties is unbaptized is termed a natural marriage. It lacks the special grace of the sacrament, but it is a valid marriage with all the attendant privileges and duties of such.

The only possible worry I could see is if the priest presumed your husband was baptized, and this resulted in not getting the proper dispensation for the marriage. As you are Catholic this could result in invalidity due to what’s called “lack of form” - i.e. as a Catholic you are bound by church law to follow the rules about getting a dispensation to marry someone who is not baptized.

Really, though, don’t worry about it. Marriages have an assumption of validity, which means that even if you were unaware that your marriage was invalid you were not sinning by having sex with your husband. Nor would you be sinning until you had good reason to believe that the marriage was invalid.

 

[lmelahn]

He is baptized in the Catholic Church now, but not before we were married. If we are not married sacramentaly, should we be concerned about committing a sin by living together or having sexual relations until the problem is fixed. We have called a priest that we know that deals with similar things, but he is usually extremely busy.

I suggest talking to your pastor about this as soon as possible.

The problem is that a marriage between a baptized Catholic and non-baptized person is impeded. (See Can. 1086 of the Code of Canon law.) It is the called the impediment of “disparity of cult.” At the time of your wedding, it seems that the conditions for the impediment were in place.

(You should investigate to see if a dispensation was given for this impediment; it would be noted in your parish’s Baptismal register or your marriage certificate. In that case, you are all set.)

Since your case is doubtful, we can presume the validity of the marriage (see no. 3 of the same canon); however, it is relatively simple to remove all doubt.

Your case appears to be eligible for something called a “radical sanation” (can. 1161-1165) which is simply a decree that removes any impediments to a valid marriage. Once the “sanation” is effected, there will be no doubt as to your marriage’s validity.

If that does not work out, then your pastor might have you and your husband do a “simple convalidation,” which consists in a simple exchange of consent before a valid witness (i.e., a properly delegated sacred minister).

Either way, it is a simple procedure.

Note that, based on your description, there is no sin whatsoever involved on your part. Again, since your case is doubtful, you may presume the validity of your marriage for the time being, as regards living together.

God bless you!

 

[DarkLight]

Your case appears to be eligible for something called a “radical sanation” (can. 1161-1165) which is simply a decree that removes any impediments to a valid marriage. Once the “sanation” is effected, there will be no doubt as to your marriage’s validity.

If that does not work out, then your pastor might have you and your husband do a “simple convalidation,” which consists in a simple exchange of consent before a valid witness (i.e., a properly delegated sacred minister).

I believe convalidation is generally considered preferable to radical sanation. Radical sanation is typically used when one party adamantly does not wish to participate in the convalidation.

 

[lmelahn]

I believe convalidation is generally considered preferable to radical sanation. Radical sanation is typically used when one party adamantly does not wish to participate in the convalidation.

Yes, I checked and you are right. The simple convalidation is probably the best route in this case. In any case, a parish priest would be able to say what to do.

 

[1ke]

I believe convalidation is generally considered preferable to radical sanation. Radical sanation is typically used when one party adamantly does not wish to participate in the convalidation.

Actually, a radical sanation is appropriate here, where the pastor made an error in not obtaining a dispensation from disparity of cult.

 

[1ke]

due to what’s called “lack of form” -.

This is not a case of lack of form. This is a case of impediment of disparity of cult.

The OP needs to make an appointment with her pastor. He will take care of it.

OP – do not have anxiety, if there is a problem the pastor can fix it. No you do not need to separate or any such thing, you married in good faith and your pastor will help you if any dispensation and sanation is needed. You did not and are not sinning.

Some info on this thread is accurate and some is not, so please go talk to your pastor.

 

[DarkLight]

This is not a case of lack of form. This is a case of impediment of disparity of cult.

Technically it’s lack of a form.

But no, you’re right. I was confusing a Catholic marrying outside the church without dispensation with a Catholic marrying an unbaptized person without dispensation

 

[foofydo]

You said your vows in front of God to each other…who is man to say if your marriage is valid or not…remain true to your vows.

 

[Neofight]

Take the advice given by many here o talk to your pastor or parish priest, and pretty much ignore everything else you were told here…while the help being offered was done with charity, it probably is more confusing than useful…Father will straighten it out!

Peace

 

[mdgspencer]

You should talk to your parish priest. (I presume all is all-right though.)

 

[Tiffany05]

Thanks everyone for all your responses!!! So I was able to get a reply from a priest friend who deals with canon law a lot. He said that as long as we said that we were going to baptize our future children into the Catholic Church, that it was completely valid. And we definitely remember that since I was afraid he wasn’t going to marry into the Catholic Church due to that. My hubby, though, is now a very strong Catholic and is so strong in his believes that he continues to stick up for them with his family even though they are (in a way) disowning him. I am so blessed!

 

[dans0622]

…So I was able to get a reply from a priest friend who deals with canon law a lot. He said that as long as we said that we were going to baptize our future children into the Catholic Church, that it was completely valid. …

Hello,

That is not really the issue, as you presented it in the initial post. Nobody has any reason to doubt your intention to marry and live a married life in accordance with the teaching/law of the Church.

The issue is an administrative one, which should have been handled by the priest who prepared you for marriage. The only way to know for sure what happened is to see the prenuptial file and/or record of the permission/dispensation you should have received before the wedding. Your local parish priest should be able to help you.

Dan

 

[Tiffany05]

Okay, I guess I was just confused. We ended up contacting the parish that we got married at (we have since moved across the country). They looked up our files and we did not get a dispensation. The priest who married us is out of town till Wednesday, so we won’t be able to find out anything else till then. It sounds like we will have to just fill out some paperwork, though. Does that all sound accurate?

 

[DarkLight]

Okay, I guess I was just confused. We ended up contacting the parish that we got married at (we have since moved across the country). They looked up our files and we did not get a dispensation. The priest who married us is out of town till Wednesday, so we won’t be able to find out anything else till then. It sounds like we will have to just fill out some paperwork, though. Does that all sound accurate?

Not quite. Dispensations aren’t retroactive except in case of a radical sanation. Most likely the priest will have you do a convalidation. This means you will fill out all the normal paperwork for a marriage - since your husband is now Catholic no dispensation will be needed. Instead you will simply repeat your vows in front of a priest and some witnesses (who may be yours or provided by the church).