Are we really anonymous here?

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Feanaro_s_Wife

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**Do you think that most posters here are anonymous enough for it to be ok to say things about our spouses we don’t want them to know, talk about our neighbors or friends, or generally say things under the guise of being anonymous that we would never dream of saying to a “real” person?

I know when i first joined CAF I was very anonymous. No real names, no location, nothing to identify me at all. But after years here people have seen family pics, know the name of my daughter and my pets, and know where (approx) I live.

So I no longer feel comfortable expressing my opinions and views on things that I wouldn’t want people who know me to find out. Even people I am sure wouldn’t see my posts…you never know when they might pop on to CAF “just to see what it’s all about” and find posts where they recognize themselves being talked about! That would be horrible!!!

So, how anonymous are YOU?

p.s kind of makes me glad for the big CAF crash that happened awhile back. Now any record of my old “anonymous” posts is lost in cyberspace;)
**
 
I don’t really feel like I care. I am a pretty open book in real life as well, and I discuss things pretty freely. Nothing I’ve written on here isn’t something I would say to a friend, my husband, or family. Nothing is a secret or anything like that.

I think anonymity is somewhat overrated. It tends to make us free to say things we would never say in real life. Knowing that people can identify me pretty easily keeps me “real.”

I understand it though…for if you came on here with a really personal issue why the anonymity would be important.
 
I’m in the phone book, so anybody can find me. That’s why I have no misgivings about listing my name and location. Or, maybe I secretly hope that a geezette will see it and contact me. :rolleyes:
 
Good or bad I am as up front with people t thier face as I am here. I am someone who is outspoken and fair. But, I am also a male, I could care less what someone knows about me or what they think of what I have said. I wouldn’t care if anyone knew my house location. THough I think that is not alowed at least on public boards. THere aer a lot of freaks on the internet but thier are a lot of freaks everywhere. I think the annonimity of the boards prompts some to be meaner. It also leads to less credibility and accountability.
 
I never really say things on the open forums that I wouldn’t want someone to see. I try not to write things I in private either - I take things private when it is off topic more than any other reason ;).

I have gotten to know you Mallia and KCtheMommy and a few others better than some.

As you know some here have actually gotten together IRL.

I recognized others from a listserv I have been on for the last 10 years or so!

Brenda V.
 
On CAF, I write everything with the assumption that someday, someone who I know “in real life” will be reading my posts.

This is mostly because I occasionally mention the forum to my friends, and someone might ask me what my screen name is.

Also, I have met a couple of CAF members “in real life”, and nothing’s stopping them from reading everything I posted on CAF since I joined.

In short, I don’t post anything on CAF that I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling my friends in real life, because you never know who will join the forums (or who you will meet from the forums) in the future.
 
LOL It also helps to have one’s spouse looking over your shoulder. Several times my wife has gone. “that didn’t happen that way” to me over something I wrote.
 
I’m definitely not anonymous. One of my husband’s coworkers posts here, as does an old high school friend. 🙂

Besides, I’ve given enough clues that someone who knows me from church or school could easily figure it out. I don’t really care. I’m a private person, meaning that I don’t post things here that I would be embarrassed to discuss IRL.
 
I wouldn’t want people to know where I live - or what parish I belong to. I think there are too many nutsy people out there… not those who post necessarily, but lurkers. I just wouldn’t want to put it all out there for someone to know. Gosh, now I’ve gotten myself a bit paranoid. …

Did I ever tell you guys about how I raise killer attack dogs? :cool:
 
yellowbird said:
I wouldn’t want people to know where I live - or what parish I belong to. I think there are too many nutsy people out there… not those who post necessarily, but lurkers. I just wouldn’t want to put it all out there for someone to know. Gosh, now I’ve gotten myself a bit paranoid. …

Did I ever tell you guys about how I raise killer attack dogs? :cool:
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I kind of agree. Luckily Atlanta is a HUGE archdiocese. I’ve told a few people via PM which parish I attend, because they thought they knew me IRL. One did! 🙂

I’m not going to post it on the open boards especially because I am a Sunday School teacher…and I do want to be careful about keeping parents separate from my personal life.
 
I obviously don’t try to be anonymous. And my spouse wishes I would stay offline!
 
Hubby posts here too (less than me, though 😉 ). I don’t mind if he reads anything I say about our marriage. I openly talk about Retrouvaille and the problems we had, and so does he. I hope it will help someone else to get help if they need it, like we did.
As far as anyone else…I don’t talk about other people too much, except maybe my mother. :rolleyes: She is totally computer-illiterate though. 😛
As far as location…Missouri is a pretty big state, and there are several million people at least in my archdiocese. 😃 And I’m pretty sure nobody in my parish is on here, if they are, I can guarantee I haven’t said anything that I haven’t said already to someone from the parish, probably Father himself! 🤷
AND, I have met people from here IRL! 👋 Hi, guys!!! We need to do dinner again, that BBQ was good! 👍
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**Do you think that most posters here are anonymous enough for it to be ok to say things about our spouses we don’t want them to know, talk about our neighbors or friends, or generally say things under the guise of being anonymous that we would never dream of saying to a “real” person?

I know when i first joined CAF I was very anonymous. No real names, no location, nothing to identify me at all. But after years here people have seen family pics, know the name of my daughter and my pets, and know where (approx) I live.

So I no longer feel comfortable expressing my opinions and views on things that I wouldn’t want people who know me to find out. Even people I am sure wouldn’t see my posts…you never know when they might pop on to CAF “just to see what it’s all about” and find posts where they recognize themselves being talked about! That would be horrible!!!

So, how anonymous are YOU?

p.s kind of makes me glad for the big CAF crash that happened awhile back. Now any record of my old “anonymous” posts is lost in cyberspace;)
**
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I never say anything online that I wouldn’t say in public.
 
I know I’ve given enough clues about myself that someone who wanted badly enough to track me down could do so. But I’m having a hard time imagining why anyone would want to do so.

There are a few posters here who know what town I live in. And I’ll probably meet them eventually. But I wouldn’t want random forum surfers to be able to find me.

I happen to work for a couple of companies that do business with a lot of local Catholic Churches and schools. Because I come in frequent contact with school and parish employees and volunteers I do try to maintain some anonymity here for both my protection and that of my business associates.

I also post on several television based forums and I’ve seen enough crazy stuff in that “world” that I am cautious about revealing personal information. I also once had to get my daughter and her friend to retract some online postings that could have given away the address of a neighbor in the entertainment industry. I want my children to be cautious online so I try to model that behavior.
 
Well, being that most of all y’all aren’t Australian it doesn’t worry me all that much.

Although my occupation is listed here, as is the city I live in, so it wouldn’t be too hard to track me down. But then I’m also listed in the phone book, so anyone else who wanted to could as well 🤷

Heck, I’ve even sent items to CAF members (with return address, if memory serves) and had things sent to me by others.

So yeah, I’m not anonymous, nor was it particularly my intent to be when I joined.

I’ve posted one whole photo of myself here (which was side-on) - but I avoid photos more because I don’t feel I photograph well rather than for reasons of privacy.
 
geezerbob said:
I’m in the phone book, so anybody can find me. That’s why I have no misgivings about listing my name and location. Or, maybe I secretly hope that a geezette will see it and contact me. :rolleyes:
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aw–that’s cute.
😃
 
**My hubby has been on here a few times …but even before he registered, I’m careful how much detail of my personal life I give. I personally don’t feel comfortable giving my kids’ names. Or my husband’s. I give mine, because I like people to know my name…but, my husband prefers to remain anonymous. I also don’t air any arguments my husband and I might have…that is something we agreed not to do, when I registered, and when he then registered. Not that he ever would…he never thinks anything’s wrong. lol 😃

That being said, I have felt a little uneasy about posting about my sis. Like suppose she registers, and reads every single thread I’ve ever written…and narrows down that Sharon in FL could only be me. :eek: And then connects the dots that she is who I’m talking about.:eek: :eek: Seriously, I kept myself awake over this a few months ago. So, I have vowed to speak less about her situation, as it could be construed as gossip, and I don’t want that on my conscience, either.:o

Interesting thread, Malia!!

I can still call you Malia, right?:** 😛
 
I’ve never felt compelled to post my whereabouts, or my last name, or to provide a personal photo of myself or my family. I also don’t use names when I describe situations with people in my life.

I’m not sure what motivates others to do this…but I am totally private all the time…I don’t have any desire for others to know more about me.

Therefore, I’m not worried about being “found out.” The fact is, none of our family members are practicing Catholics anyway!

And as bad as that really is…that minimizes the possibility of being “found out” on Catholic Answers.
 
I am pretty much in real life the way I am here. I try not to deliberately hurt someone, but I am not going to sugar coat what I feel or say what you want to hear. It’s me, it’s what my father taught me.

Kathy
 
When I first joined, I didn’t really worry about anonymity. I figured I wasn’t posting anything that would bother anyone. Also, absolutely nobody in real life knows that I post on here - not even my boyfriend. My boyfriend knows that I’ve gotten some information from a Catholic website, but he doesn’t know I’m a member of the forums. I have no objection to him knowing, but I haven’t said anything to him yet. I guess I did post a few things about our relationship to which people responded that we should end it all, and I’d be embarrassed for him to see those threads.

However, in the past couple of months, I’ve been stalked, and now I’m posting a lot less personal information. My stalker has my e-mail addresses (my two primary ones) and had my phone number before I changed it. My stalker has contacted me repeatedly on a social networking site, creating new accounts every time I block an old one. I feel relatively safe here, since nobody in real life knows I post here, and I have only used my real first name twice, in private messages. However, I’m being a lot more careful about posting anything that could be used to identify me.
 
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