Are we required to "feel" love?

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Love is a WILL for the good of the other. So even if we do something for the good of the other,but we are tired and we are not jumping from a happiness, maybe even annoyed, but we still do the act than that’s still love? We did it because we willed it because we know it’s for the good of the other. Right?
 
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tomo_pomo said:
Love is a WILL for the good of the other. So even if we do something for the good of the other,but we are tired and we are not jumping from a happiness, maybe even annoyed, but we still do the act than that’s still love? We did it because we willed it because we know it’s for the good of the other. Right?
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Catechism
1768 Strong feelings are not decisive for the morality or the holiness of persons; they are simply the inexhaustible reservoir of images and affections in which the moral life is expressed. Passions are morally good when they contribute to a good action, evil in the opposite case. The upright will orders the movements of the senses it appropriates to the good and to beatitude; an evil will succumbs to disordered passions and exacerbates them. Emotions and feelings can be taken up into the virtues or perverted by the vices .

1769 In the Christian life, the Holy Spirit himself accomplishes his work by mobilizing the whole being, with all its sorrows, fears and sadness, as is visible in the Lord’s agony and passion. In Christ human feelings are able to reach their consummation in charity and divine beatitude.
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Feelings is a song by Morris Albert. Love is a conscious decision. It has feelings but it is not feelings.
  1. Love desires the good of the “other.”
  2. Love does not count the cost.
 
Love desires the good of the other, for the sake of the other.
The experiences that you have of love are secondary.

In that regard, love is sacrificial. So in that respect Mother Theresa is correct:
Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt…
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That can be misinterpreted, but it points to the complete concern for the other person at the cost of your own concerns.

I’ve always loved St John of the Cross here:
If you are in a place where you find no love, put love in, and you will draw love out
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You cannot force the love in but you can resist and push the hate away from you.
Jesus said to love Him is to keep His Father’s commandments. So He was really talking about a love feeling as most people would describe it.
 
I agree with the others. Just adding that emotions are very unreliable and are often a playground (for want of a better word) for temptations, so you are better off relying on the intellect than feelings/emotions anyway. The world (society) would do well to learn that.
 
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I am of the opinion that loving feelings are more often the effect of loving behavior on our part. No, loving feelings are not required of us.

However if we don’t feel loving toward those for whom we think we “should” feel loving, then we probably ought to examine the situation to see what’s wrong. Maybe the problem is ours; maybe it’s not.
 
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tomo_pomo said:
but we still do the act than that’s still love?
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The first responses have covered this well already but I’ll toss in a tid bit as well. The love you’re talking about, the sensations of warm and fuzzy well being, are really nothing more than chemicals in the blood stream. It’s natural to have them when we meet someone we are very attracted to and discover they feel the same way. It’s natural to feel these emotions, also, when involved in good works which demonstrate a depth of commitment to God and the idea of service and compassion. But when it comes to the more sticky examples of loving our neighbor; well that can be another kettle of fish entirely.

In the broadest sense of the Christian responsibility, love is an intention to serve, to offer our best for the good of others, to step in where there is a need. Those happy-clappy emotions will rarely enter into it and it would be bizarre if they did. What we are doing is fulfilling a commitment. This is love. We are not required to like the other people, but our intentions to them all is to remain the same.
 
It’s great if we feel love and joy, but if we do good for another even when annoyed, that’s still good.

It’s not exactly the same, but it reminds me of the “being brave isn’t being fearless, it’s about facing your fear.”

Maybe it is pretty much the same, though. It’s good to feel love as an emotion, and it would be wonderful if we could feel it all the time, but it says a lot about a person’s character when they still continue to act with charity for the sake of another even when feelings or the mood are at a low.
 
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Interestingly enough, the opposite of love isn’t hate— the opposite of love is indifference.

So when I fail to love as I should, it’s not because I’m lacking the warm, squishy feelings— it’s because the other person just doesn’t matter enough for me to get up and do what I ought to do for them.
 
We would probably be better off using the word “charitable feeling” because that in our current culture expresses it better than “love” which is usually reserved for your romantic partner, your family, or your BFF.

Love is simply desiring good for the other person, wishing goodwill to them.

Obviously if we’re stomping around grudgingly doing the charitable act and complaining about it the whole time, our attitude is bad/ wrong/ un-Christian and we shouldn’t be doing it with the attitude that we hate doing it, or we’re doing the person a huge favor by doing it.

But we don’t have to feel strong feelings of love or happiness about doing the act either. Just do it with a reasonably positive attitude and that’s enough.
 
Love without action is not love. It has to be more than feelings and words.
 
I’d think about it in terms of a marriage. I deeply and irrevocably love my husband, but I am not always “feeling” it, especially when we’re in a period of disagreement. I don’t love him any less in these times.
 
Great responses thus far!

The thing about feelings is that they can come and go from things as simple as what you eat, how much sleep, hormonal changes, etc. They can be beautiful and can be used to fuel acts of love in certain directions as they were designed to… and yet, they should not the basis on which you make the decision TO love. If the feelings aren’t there, do you still love the other? When the feelings go and when hardships arrive, this is when your allegiances are tested.
 
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