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LovemyfamilyFL
Guest
When I first married, my husband made me promise to never gain weight other than in pregnancy. So I work out daily to ensure I drop my weight within a few months. He will run with me to help me reach my goal. I make sure to wear shorts and a sports bra around him so he can see I’m living up to my promise. As soon as I’m close to my goal, of course. He appreciates my body. And I know my daughters have learned about lifestyle and fitness from me. Maybe this is one way to instill healthful living???
I know I love it when I see my husband admire my body.
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pensmama87
Guest
These do not strike me as healthy behaviors; in fact, quite the opposite.
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Xantippe
Guest
Yeah.
I don’t think anybody can reasonably promise never to gain weight, just as you can’t reasonably promise never to lose weight.
What did LovemyfamilyFL’s husband promise in return–never to lose his job, never to have a decrease in income, and never to become impotent?
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Xantippe
Guest
Yeah.
When I was a farm kid, I remember my older relatives mentioning that years ago, it was usual to have pie for breakfast, because by the time breakfast rolled around, you’d already worked up a huge appetite.
I was also looking at this:
npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2012/07/24/157317262/how-many-calories-do-olympic-athletes-need-it-depends
Apparently, Michael Phelps the swimmer ate 12,000 calories a day as part of his training program.
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Xantippe
Guest
I think a lot of the problem is just not “budgeting” appropriately.
Here are some pastries at Starbucks over 400 calories:
banana nut bread 420
blueberry scone 420
cranberry orange scone 420
iced lemon poundcake 470
morning bun 400
pumpkin scone 430
If it takes 3500 surplus calories to gain a pound, nine days of eating an extra Starbucks pastry every day on top of your caloric needs will equal a pound gained.
It’s actually a miracle that anybody is thin these days.
Here are some pastries at Starbucks over 400 calories:
banana nut bread 420
blueberry scone 420
cranberry orange scone 420
iced lemon poundcake 470
morning bun 400
pumpkin scone 430
If it takes 3500 surplus calories to gain a pound, nine days of eating an extra Starbucks pastry every day on top of your caloric needs will equal a pound gained.
It’s actually a miracle that anybody is thin these days.
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Cat
Guest
I apologize if I have told this story before on CAF, but perhaps people on this thread haven’t read it in the past.
For six years in middle school/high school, my daughter was a member of an elite synchronized skating team that practiced around 15 hours a week.
At one point the team was sent to Florida for a one-week training experiment. While there, they spend many hours each day training on and off ice.
They also were asked to eat every few hours during the day. U.S. Figure Skating told them, “Never be hungry, never be thirsty.”
The food wasn’t just carrot sticks and oranges, either, although there was a lot of fruits and vegetables. There were plenty of high carb snacks.
My daughter kept calling me to say, “Mom, we eat constantly . Every time we get off the ice, they make us eat something! I’m going to gain ten pounds!”
Instead, by the end of the week, she and many of her teammates had LOST ten pounds.
It just goes to show that there is a LOT about food consumption and weight maintenance that most of us don’t know and probably never will know.
It’s my theory that in the U.S., we continue to treat obesity and overweightness as a cosmetic issue instead of a pathology. Doctors tell their obese patients, “Try to lose a little weight. Cut down on the starches.” And somehow, they think this will help someone who is using food as a medicine, a lover, a friend, a comfort. In any other pathological condition, this level of treatment would be grounds for malpractice.
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pensmama87
Guest
I know that not everyone can run, but I do, and I’ve noticed that on days I run, I can eat pretty much according to my level of hunger and still end up with enough calorie deficit to lose weight by the end of the week (I have about 30 pounds to go, have already lost 35 from my top weight not counting pregnancy). It was much, much harder to lose weight when I didn’t have a regular form of exercise (and I thought running would be too hard, but I really like it).
I know a lot of women tend to gain a lot (or keep weight on) after pregnancy and childbirth, but personally breastfeeding has been an enormous help to me. I spent about four years at my top weight before getting pregnant, while trying some various things to lose (and coping with an undiagnosed eating disorder), and then after pregnancy I dropped all the baby weight plus 15 pounds by six months postpartum.
Not everyone does that (and I expect if you aren’t as overweight as I was it’s less likely), but I thought that was rather a nice bonus to nursing.
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Xantippe
Guest
I’ve also gotten very good results while breastfeeding.
I know that not everyone can run, but I do, and I’ve noticed that on days I run, I can eat pretty much according to my level of hunger and still end up with enough calorie deficit to lose weight by the end of the week (I have about 30 pounds to go, have already lost 35 from my top weight not counting pregnancy). It was much, much harder to lose weight when I didn’t have a regular form of exercise (and I thought running would be too hard, but I really like it).
I know a lot of women tend to gain a lot (or keep weight on) after pregnancy and childbirth, but personally breastfeeding has been an enormous help to me. I spent about four years at my top weight before getting pregnant, while trying some various things to lose (and coping with an undiagnosed eating disorder), and then after pregnancy I dropped all the baby weight plus 15 pounds by six months postpartum.
However, the dark side of it is that I get used to being able to eat anything while breastfeeding. Last year, around the time my current baby was about 9 months old (I think), I bottomed out at about 28 pounds less than my last pre-pregnancy weight. Awesome! But then baby started eating more solids and I started weaning and I was gaining a pound a week for quite a while (which is exactly what you’d expect if breastfeeding takes an extra 500 calories a day). I managed to slam on the brakes, but not before I’d regained about 18 pounds that I never wanted to see again. Current weight is 10 pounds less than my last pre-pregnancy weight, which is fat for anybody else, but represents a lot of self-control and diligence for me.
I had basically the same weight loss/weight-regaining scenario happen after my second child was born, but I was so distracted by having two toddlers at home that I didn’t realize that I was blimping out until much too late.
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LovemyfamilyFL
Guest
He promised to take care of me and our kids. He promised to be faithful. He promised to be someone I could always rely on.
I’m happy to abide by his wishes because he does all of the above. And more.
If I can make him happy by watching my weight and working out for his approval, I certainly will. It pleases me when we are out together and I know he finds me attractive and wants to show me off. Just last night at a small gathering of friends, he couldn’t keep his hands off me. His hands on my waist and back and how close he held me proved to me he likes the way I keep my body in shape.
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Xantippe
Guest
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shelby_sun
Guest
That is true to a point. Bananas are one of the cheapest things you can buy at the store, along with eggs, carrots, and many types of lettuce. Bananas will fill someone up much more than those quick bag of chips, which by the way cost as much as 6 bananas.
People can eat a great deal of food for 1000 calories, it just isn’t the food they want to eat. I don’t eat in out and I don’t eat fast food. I also rarely eat things that have a sauce, and if I so it is minimal.
I would bet that all those people that have lost a great deal of weigh would tell you it can be done but not without a great deal of sacrifice and a big change in how you live your life. My sister was obese and she wanted us to feel sorry for her, but I simple could not when she sat on her but all day and ate fast food. That isn’t going to get it done.
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Xantippe
Guest
Eh, I was just looking up the stats for bananas, and as I suspected, a medium banana is about 100 calories and has almost no fat and very little protein.
google.com/search?q=banana+nutrition&rlz=1CAACAG_enUS582US582&oq=banana+nutriti&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.3070j0j7&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=0&ie=UTF-8
Lots of luck filling up on just bananas–that sounds like a trip to carb hell for most people. (Eat carbs, feel tired, eat more carbs, feel tired, eat more carbs, wonder why you’ve gained so much weight.)
Now, if we had a banana plus some peanut butter, that would be a definite improvement.
I had gestational diabetes my last pregnancy (I was 20 pounds lighter than at the start of my pregnancy by 6 weeks postpartum) and on a very careful diet, and one of the lessons I took away from that was that any meal or snack needs to be carb + fat/protein or fat/protein + carb.)
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pensmama87
Guest
Considering I am one of those people, I am actually incredibly aware of that, thank you.
I am sorry that your sister is struggling. I’ve been where she is, too. Fast food can be as addicting as alcohol, nicotine, or other substances, and many people use it to numb emotional pain. I can’t speak for all people who overeat, but I know I did to cover up negative feelings I had been taught from an early age were shameful to have.
You are right that it is your sister who has to make a change and that she has to want it, but I don’t know that being right about that excludes feeling sorry for her. Addiction is a very sad, lonely place.
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shelby_sun
Guest
That is true to a point. Bananas are one of the cheapest things you can buy at the store, along with eggs, carrots, and many types of lettuce. Bananas will fill someone up much more than those quick bag of chips, which by the way cost as much as 6 bananas.
People can eat a great deal of food for 1000 calories, it just isn’t the food they want to eat. I don’t eat in out and I don’t eat fast food. I also rarely eat things that have a sauce, and if I so it is minimal.
I would bet that all those people that have lost a great deal of weigh would tell you it can be done but not without a great deal of sacrifice and a big change in how you live your life. My sister was obese and she wanted us to feel sorry for her, but I simple could not when she sat on her but all day and ate fast food. That isn’t going to get it done.
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Iheartcoffee
Guest
This seems terribly unhealthy and shallow. I hear about these pacts only in stories of very controlling relationships. What happens if you develop depression or a thyroid issue? Will he cut your food intake and put you on the treadmill more often? Will you feel like a “failure” as a wife if your body just naturally decides to settle out at even just 10 pounds more as you age? There is a reason why wedding vows don’t say, “I vow to always look good for you.” It goes against the vows of “for better or worse and in sickness and in health”.
I don’t say this as a bitter person with weight problems, because I have never had problems maintaining weight. Instead, I say this as someone that has seen this same behavior occur in some very controlling relationships and demands of physical standards is often a sign that raises alarms in people that work in counseling environments.
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shelby_sun
Guest
Yes, I am quite aware addiction is lonely.You know what is also lonely, being severely anorexic which I have been the the last 35 years. For 10 year I weighed under 85 lbs. at 5’5’ tall. Not only are people discussed by you, they see you as some mental freak. Most long time anorexics can not talk to other anorexics and share their experiences and feeling because it leads to a feeling failure of not being thinner.
To gain weight I had to eat things that absolutely repulsed me. It truly felt like I was eating cow patties. It took me 2-3 hour to eat each meal and I would sob the entire time. At my lowest I weighed 65 lbs. The most I have ever weighed is 105 lb. For the last 10 year I have been 98-102, but some people still treat me like I am a freak.
At least those who are obese are not alone. There is numerous places to help them. Just FYI, I would never tell my sister she was fat; however, numerous times she told me I looked old and horrible, that I was going to ruin my skin and look old all my life. My sister has Lupus and I would tell her she needed to take care of herself, that is when she would get brutally mean, so much so I had to stop seeing her. She died last year weighing more than she ever had.
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pensmama87
Guest
I am very sorry to hear of your struggles and that your sister was cruel to you. I hope you have been able to find some kind of a support system, whether that is a support group, counselor, program at a facility specifically for problem eating, or some combination of the above. I know in my city there is a facility that specifically exists to help patients who suffer from eating disorders of all kinds. It is funny what you say about being obese and not being alone, not because I don’t believe you, but because I’ve been around a lot of people who say the exact opposite: anorexia and bulimia and similar disorders have gotten a lot of media coverage and there is a great deal of coverage, but chronic overeating and food addiction are seen primarily as willpower and laziness issues, and people who are fat deserve to be fat.
But I think we tend to always assume that we are alone and that nobody can help us with our struggles, which is almost always false.
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pensmama87
Guest
What I mean to say: There is a lot of awareness of anorexia and bulimia as disordered behaviors in need of outside intervention and psychological help, even in the general population. (That doesn’t mean there aren’t ignorant and cruel people, of course). I found as I sought help for my problem eating that very few places specifically designed for eating disorders offered assistance to those with binging problems or chronic overeating. There are lots of exercise programs and diets out there, but it has been my experience that it’s largely not seen as a specific psychological issue akin to other eating disorders, except by a small group of specialists.I am very sorry to hear of your struggles and that your sister was cruel to you. I hope you have been able to find some kind of a support system, whether that is a support group, counselor, program at a facility specifically for problem eating, or some combination of the above. I know in my city there is a facility that specifically exists to help patients who suffer from eating disorders of all kinds. It is funny what you say about being obese and not being alone, not because I don’t believe you, but because I’ve been around a lot of people who say the exact opposite: **anorexia and bulimia and similar disorders have gotten a lot of media coverage and there is a great deal of coverage, but chronic overeating and food addiction are seen primarily as willpower and laziness issues, and people who are fat deserve to be fat. **
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kb360
Guest
I know I’m coming to this thread a bit late, but man there are some very interesting posts from all kinds of folks. This actually made for a really fascinating read.
I do think people, not only in the U.S. but also all over the world, are getting too obese these days. It has to do with overeating, being sedentary, and with consuming unhealthy foods/drinks. However, making a change to one’s body all depends on what you want to do. If you are happy with the way you look and with what you eat, then obviously don’t worry about it. If you want to lose weight, you will have to make sacrifices.
Losing weight is not easy at all, and the heavier you are, the harder it is to drop body fat. You will have to do more work than a leaner, fitter person. When you are overweight, your metabolism is pretty much dormant and that burger you eat will add more fat to you than to a lean person, who’s metabolism is always geared up. There are a couple ways to boost one’s metabolism.
The first is to exercise. Everyone knows this and it’s a no-brainier, but it is extremely important. Run, lift weights, do whatever you have to do; break a sweat. If you have joint pains or a hard time moving, take it easy and go on short walks. Swimming is also a fantastic way of getting exercise if you have difficulty running. Start slowly and take it easy. Your body will adapt over a short period of time. However, your body adapts a lot quicker than you think, and eventually that short walk, swim, or run won’t start producing any more results. You’ll hit a plateau. This means you should start to push your body further if you want greater results, since it has gotten used to the amount of exercise you have been doing. (A little personal trainer secret: The absolute best way to lose weight with minimal effort is to go for a 15-30 min. walk in the morning with an empty stomach. Drink a glass of water and do your walk, then eat breakfast or have your coffee. You do this everyday, and I guarantee you’ll notice a change in a month).
The other way to boost your metabolism is with your diet. There are two eating plans that work best. No one who is in really good shape, like cover model good, eats three meals a day. I understand that not everyone wants to look like a cover model, but they are about as good as it gets, so what they do works. You either graze or you eat fewer meals a day. Grazing is what some chefs do (the one’s that are in pretty good shape, like Gordon Ramsay-he’s also a triathlete though). This entails eating very small portions, like a cup of yogurt, a piece of fruit, or a few ounces of meat, every couple of hours. This allows your metabolism to be constantly working since your digestive system barely gets a break. Your body is continuously burning calories by digesting food. The other method is to eat one or two meals a day. They don’t necessarily have to be giant meals, but they should have a variety of nutrients, such as your carbs, proteins, fats, fruits, and vegetables. Limit your carbs, especially if you don’t exercise much, and eat them mostly in the mornings so your body has time to burn them off throughout the day. I could keep going but I’ll stop, especially since this post is going to be ridiculously long.
Finally, if you have one around you, join a gym. It’s not that expensive. Planet Fitness is ten or twenty bucks a month, and it’s better than nothing. After you join, make sure you go. Some people only go for a few days and then stop, feeling shy or lazy or whatever. Don’t feel intimidated or scared. I know that it’s easier said than done, but you have to remember that everyone started somewhere. Also, the better people look in your gym (relative to what you want to look like) the better it is for you. I understand that going to a gym that has people with your body type may be more comfortable but it won’t motivate you as much. Also, those people who you think are judging you could care less about how fat or skinny you look. They are there to do their routines and go home. If they do judge, then clearly they aren’t worth your time. Talk to the people who look to have achieved your ideal physique. I can almost promise you that they will be more than happy to help, guide, encourage, and answer your questions. Take advantage of their knowledge.
I know this became an instructional post, but oh well. I just kept typing. Read it or not, it’s only here to help. If anyone has questions, you can PM me or reply to this. Blah.
I do think people, not only in the U.S. but also all over the world, are getting too obese these days. It has to do with overeating, being sedentary, and with consuming unhealthy foods/drinks. However, making a change to one’s body all depends on what you want to do. If you are happy with the way you look and with what you eat, then obviously don’t worry about it. If you want to lose weight, you will have to make sacrifices.
Losing weight is not easy at all, and the heavier you are, the harder it is to drop body fat. You will have to do more work than a leaner, fitter person. When you are overweight, your metabolism is pretty much dormant and that burger you eat will add more fat to you than to a lean person, who’s metabolism is always geared up. There are a couple ways to boost one’s metabolism.
The first is to exercise. Everyone knows this and it’s a no-brainier, but it is extremely important. Run, lift weights, do whatever you have to do; break a sweat. If you have joint pains or a hard time moving, take it easy and go on short walks. Swimming is also a fantastic way of getting exercise if you have difficulty running. Start slowly and take it easy. Your body will adapt over a short period of time. However, your body adapts a lot quicker than you think, and eventually that short walk, swim, or run won’t start producing any more results. You’ll hit a plateau. This means you should start to push your body further if you want greater results, since it has gotten used to the amount of exercise you have been doing. (A little personal trainer secret: The absolute best way to lose weight with minimal effort is to go for a 15-30 min. walk in the morning with an empty stomach. Drink a glass of water and do your walk, then eat breakfast or have your coffee. You do this everyday, and I guarantee you’ll notice a change in a month).
The other way to boost your metabolism is with your diet. There are two eating plans that work best. No one who is in really good shape, like cover model good, eats three meals a day. I understand that not everyone wants to look like a cover model, but they are about as good as it gets, so what they do works. You either graze or you eat fewer meals a day. Grazing is what some chefs do (the one’s that are in pretty good shape, like Gordon Ramsay-he’s also a triathlete though). This entails eating very small portions, like a cup of yogurt, a piece of fruit, or a few ounces of meat, every couple of hours. This allows your metabolism to be constantly working since your digestive system barely gets a break. Your body is continuously burning calories by digesting food. The other method is to eat one or two meals a day. They don’t necessarily have to be giant meals, but they should have a variety of nutrients, such as your carbs, proteins, fats, fruits, and vegetables. Limit your carbs, especially if you don’t exercise much, and eat them mostly in the mornings so your body has time to burn them off throughout the day. I could keep going but I’ll stop, especially since this post is going to be ridiculously long.
Finally, if you have one around you, join a gym. It’s not that expensive. Planet Fitness is ten or twenty bucks a month, and it’s better than nothing. After you join, make sure you go. Some people only go for a few days and then stop, feeling shy or lazy or whatever. Don’t feel intimidated or scared. I know that it’s easier said than done, but you have to remember that everyone started somewhere. Also, the better people look in your gym (relative to what you want to look like) the better it is for you. I understand that going to a gym that has people with your body type may be more comfortable but it won’t motivate you as much. Also, those people who you think are judging you could care less about how fat or skinny you look. They are there to do their routines and go home. If they do judge, then clearly they aren’t worth your time. Talk to the people who look to have achieved your ideal physique. I can almost promise you that they will be more than happy to help, guide, encourage, and answer your questions. Take advantage of their knowledge.
I know this became an instructional post, but oh well. I just kept typing. Read it or not, it’s only here to help. If anyone has questions, you can PM me or reply to this. Blah.
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