Are Wedding Dresses Today Modest/Immodest?

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I just came off a post regarding immodest dress at Mass. I was going to mention weddings dresses ~ however thought it called for its own post.

What do you think about the wedding dresses women are wearing these days? Every now and then I see a modest one ~ then I hear the rumblings from the guests on how old fashion she looked! A priest I know needs to see the dress prior to the marriage ceremony and if he deems it immodest ~ he offers the bride any one of several beautifully made caps (women from the parish sewed them) to wear during the ceremony.

So are bare shoulders/low cut/tight top acceptable during a Catholic wedding?
 
I say they are immodest.

I have seen some who are nice but the bare sholder thing seems ‘in’ …

Have you ever watched the show ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ its on TLC…

Some brides want to look ‘sexy’ and some of the dresses look almost indecent. :eek:
 
aimee said:
I have seen some who are nice but the bare sholder thing seems ‘in’ …
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I remember when I was getting married, it was very difficult to find a gown that had any kind of sleeve and was affordable. They were all strapless gowns. I finally found one with with these sort cap sleeves which came up over the shoulders so that I could attach my mother’s cape train from her wedding gown to the shoulders of mine.

I don’t know why it’s so difficult to get gowns with any kind of sleeve or strap. When I look at royal weddings, all the brides have very elegant and beautiful gowns - and they all have a sleeve of some sort. But those gowns probably cost an arm and a leg.
  1. ROYAL WEDDING 1999 - Edward & Sophie
    youtube.com/watch?v=b3DhVBqXobU&feature=related
  2. Wedding of Crown Prince Frederik & Miss Mary Donaldson
    I loved her gown. This was what I was looking for when I searched for a gown. Even her train was similar to mine although longer than mine - I was basically looking for something to match my mother’s train.
youtube.com/watch?v=oQaFUUW_d3k
youtube.com/watch?v=LQMqs5bRfG8&feature=related
  1. Wedding of Prince Floris of Orange-Nassau and Aimée Söhngen
    She has a lovely outfit for her civil wedding and a beautiful one for the religious ceremony
    youtube.com/watch?v=jtDuGAP-eck&feature=related
  2. Wedding of Dutch Prince Constantijn & Laurentien Brinkhorst (This is the one that used “O God Beyond All Praising”)
    youtube.com/watch?v=wldRaA65aGY&feature=related
  3. Wedding in 2002 between Prins Willem Alexander and Maxima Zorreguieta
    youtube.com/watch?v=JeuLj2vjw24&feature=related
  4. Wedding prince Filip and Princess Mathilde of Belgium
    youtube.com/watch?v=1jEdee0NmiE&feature=related
  5. Felipe & Letizia’s Wedding Vows (Spanish Royal WEdding)
    youtube.com/watch?v=btw006qk3dM&feature=related
    youtube.com/watch?v=ypOJ5pEOSnQ&feature=related
 
I think these are pretty, modest gowns as well. These are worn by the opera singers, but I think they would work fine for a wedding gown. They also don’t look old-fashioned.

First one, soprano Sumi Jo, music by Giulio Caccini (16th/early 17th century composer - orchestration obviously not period - like hearing the bells and such - a couple centuries later.)
youtube.com/watch?v=fjZ8fBGtMaI

Second one soprano Kathleen Battle, music by J.S. Bach/C. Gounod
youtube.com/watch?v=E0o9ku8yw4U
 
It’s a dumb idea. And no, bare backs, shoulders and diving cleavage are not appropriate attire for Mass.

Fashions change back and forth. I’m sure the pendulum will swing and all the brides with pictures of bare shoulders will look very dated. I had lace sleeves on my dress. It looked Victorian. It was modest. But lovely. I told my daughters that they don’t want to be worried about pulling up their wedding dress when they’re dancing at the reception. Strapless dresses become a very annoying thing and you don’t want to be worrying about yanking on it all day.

But what do I know. 🤷

I think the wedding industry has a lot of responsibility for the divorce industry. They’ve sold the idea to women that this is “their” day and anything goes as far as indulging them. How many people walked down the aisle despite misgivings because they couldn’t get a refund on the dress and the hall. Instead we’ve created a culture where the bride is the star in her own play with a costume that is inappropriate for what is really going on.

Good for the priests who remind them that this is a Mass, and if they want a cocktail appearance they can change clothes for the reception.

Double should go for the bridesmaids. It’s a church, not a Cecil B. DeMille production, people!
 
I agree that there are some very tasteless wedding attire out there. My cousin got married in the Church last year, and was married in a strapless gown. While the gown was beautiful, it was the bare shoulders I didn’t like. I’d constantly be worried about it falling down. Plus, I don’t like dresses that show too much cleavage. Bras are essential, in my opinion. 🙂

I’m old-fashioned, anyway. If I ever got married, it would be in a tasteful, elegant Victorian style gown with at least cap sleeves, but I like the longer sleeves best.

I think these are really elegant:

http://images.della.com/wc/fash/dressimages/Fashion_BridalGown_HDCH_456_664.jpg

http://www.lovemissdaisy.com/images/uploads/WEDDING DRESSES/DRESS13(1).jpg

http://www.geocities.com/johnweedonuk/WeddingDress.jpg

And of course, who could forget Grace Kelly?

http://www.dcnearlyweds.com/uploaded_images/Grace-Kelly-Bride-790440.jpg
 
I believe that most wedding dresses today are immodest. Those that aren’t are really expensive. However, I am extremely modest. It has to have at least short sleaves, be at least three inches above where any cleavage at all would show, and not plunge in the back for me. I’ve just always been this way. I bought mine from ebay. It’s so pretty. I love it. Plus, it cost $40.
 
CarmeliteGirl25 said:
I agree that there are some very tasteless wedding attire out there. My cousin got married in the Church last year, and was married in a strapless gown. While the gown was beautiful, it was the bare shoulders I didn’t like. I’d constantly be worried about it falling down. Plus, I don’t like dresses that show too much cleavage. Bras are essential, in my opinion. 🙂

I’m old-fashioned, anyway. If I ever got married, it would be in a tasteful, elegant Victorian style gown with at least cap sleeves, but I like the longer sleeves best.

I think these are really elegant:
Grace Kelly’s gown was just so beautiful and elegant. It was timeless. I could see anyone wearing it today and not looking out of style. I wish the average boutiques sold gowns like that today. You either have to spend an arm and a leg to get something like that either to be made especially or bought at an expensive boutique, or you make it yourself.
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I was a protestant at the time, but my wedding dress was really immodest. Of course, I did not think it was at the time. I was married in a Catholic Church, but it was not a mass… nonetheless, I cringe everytime I think about my dress choice. I really wish I would have made a more modest decision…😊
 
Definitely think there is way too much cleavage. Cleavage should never be allowed in a Catholic wedding ceremony.

If you get the right veil, it could cover the backless or shoulderless problem. However most people don’t get the right veil.

I know for a fact a lot of wedding boutiques offer jackets for shoulderless, backless gowns. Especially so the bride can be covered in Mass. Almost all the women refuse it because they feel it ruins the look. I’ve even known some women who just want to look “hot” for their husband on their wedding day–I thought that was supposed to come on the wedding night!😃 But it really pumps the guys ego to have such a “hot bride” in front of all his friends.
 
I’m a wedding photographer, I’ve seen a bit of both. Most of the weddings I shoot aren’t Catholic, though.
 
I think the strapless wedding dresses popular today are really immodest, not to mention unattractive, unbalanced-looking, and unflattering. Nothing looks worse than a bride constantly tugging on the bodice to keep herself from spilling out. Look how often the word “sexy” is used when describing these dresses. Where did this kooky idea come from, that you’re supposed to look sexy in a church wedding? Ugh. I think it’s disgusting. Save it for the honeymoon. Before I would wear one of those topless abominations, I would either 1) get a pattern and fabric and sew the dress myself, 2) buy a vintage dress, or 3) get a dress from a Renaissance costumer (made in white or off-white). All three of these options can be available for a very reasonable cost.

Something like this is more to my taste:

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

The ones posted by CarmeliteGirl25 are also very pretty, and far more tasteful for church than the strapless kind.
 
Our pastor is against strapless. He had a bride forget to lift her dress before she stepped and it pulled the dress down in front. The bride was mortified. Because she became completely exposed. Lift then step, or better yet, don’t go strapless!
 
turtle18 said:
Definitely think there is way too much cleavage. Cleavage should never be allowed in a Catholic wedding ceremony.

If you get the right veil, it could cover the backless or shoulderless problem. However most people don’t get the right veil.

I know for a fact a lot of wedding boutiques offer jackets for shoulderless, backless gowns. Especially so the bride can be covered in Mass. Almost all the women refuse it because they feel it ruins the look. I’ve even known some women who just want to look “hot” for their husband on their wedding day–I thought that was supposed to come on the wedding night!😃 But it really pumps the guys ego to have such a “hot bride” in front of all his friends.
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I, too, know you can buy things that cover that shoulders. However, doing that is kind of supporting the strapless dresses I think. If you buy them, that’s what stores will make. To me it’s better to not support it at all by buying a dress that is already modest.
 
Here is my take. Having helped out at many a nuptial Mass at the Cathedral, I can tell you that sometimes, the strapless dresses tend to be more modest than those whose cleavage drops would rival that of Holywood’s worst. What brides could very well do would be to have a bolero jacket for the Mass and then take it off for the reception. I have seen several of those and they look very nice.

Now, along the same veins, the dresses that the Quinceneras wear are, sadly, headed in the same direction that the OP notes in his post. I have seen some real losers. These young ladies should not be looking like Beyonce Knowles. Sadly, even the prom dresses are looking really bad.
 
My daughter-in-law, who is petite and very full figured, invited me and some of her family along with her to try on wedding gowns. I know how difficult it was for her to find a dress that was affordable, looked nice with her size and figure and did not show cleavage or too low of a back. It turned out that the most modest looking dress on her was sleeveless, so that is the one that she bought. However, since our parish has a rule of no bare shoulders for weddings, she wore a sheer sleeveless shrug that covered her shoulders and hung beautifully. I found the pattern at the fabric store.
 
zab said:
My daughter-in-law, who is petite and very full figured, invited me and some of her family along with her to try on wedding gowns. I know how difficult it was for her to find a dress that was affordable, looked nice with her size and figure and did not show cleavage or too low of a back. It turned out that the most modest looking dress on her was sleeveless, so that is the one that she bought. However, since our parish has a rule of no bare shoulders for weddings, she wore a sheer sleeveless shrug that covered her shoulders and hung beautifully. I found the pattern at the fabric store.
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That is true as well. It really depends on a woman’s body. I just did a wedding this past weekend where the bride wore a strapless A-line cut gown. I have to admit, it was modest and she looked very pure. She was a little bride, no cleavage showed at all and was perfectly fitted to her top. She wore a lovely mantilla veil which covered her shoulders. Now, with the large chest size I am, had I worn a dress style like that bride’s gown, I definitely would have looked totally immodest in it. LOL!
 
I’m no sure why strapless is considered immodest. Strapless gowns generally show less cleavage that gown with straps. Also, what do straps cover, anyway?
 
sharmin said:
I’m no sure why strapless is considered immodest. Strapless gowns generally show less cleavage that gown with straps. Also, what do straps cover, anyway?
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Straps cover skin. I don’t necessarily feel that is the location of skin that is immodest always. Sometimes it is the amount of skin. If dresses were made modestly, then they wouldn’t show cleavage even with straps. Mine doesn’t.
 
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